Episode #187 - Doing Some Things Differently

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 187 of Speaking from the Heart.

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I've been doing this now for

almost two years, and it's a

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habit that has finally set in.

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I know that I have to write up ideas.

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I have to book guests, in some cases.

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I have to spend some time writing

what I want to actually say.

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Record it.

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Make sure I message it properly, whether

that is actually editing it, trying to

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condense it for time or quality, getting

it up and running then on my website,

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and also making sure that for my guests,

I give them everything that they need in

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order to publicize it, especially when

it comes to my social media presence.

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Sometimes I fall off the bandwagon

because of all the other things that

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I have going on, and then I have to

reestablish myself to try to get this

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back on track, because I know that I'm

counting on myself, and only myself, to

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get these awesome ideas, this awesome

content, out there, so that you're

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able to listen to it two times a week.

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That means that I have to figure out

what it means on my schedule to make

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sure that this all comes together,

while at the same time, holding on

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for dear life, making sure that this

growth that I want to have, especially

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on this podcast, continues to occur.

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Man!

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That is such a tall order, and I can

only imagine, especially as you've

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gotten halfway through the first

month of this year, how it might be

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to really keep on pressing forward.

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What it means to do something differently,

so today, this episode is all about

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how we can have better habits; how we

were able to experiment with those new

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habits that aren't normally used to

and trying to now get back on track.

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Now, my example might be something

I've been doing now for quite a while,

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but it did start out as a new habit.

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When I started this podcast,

speaking from the heart.

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I had to get myself organized.

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I needed to figure out a better way in

which I was able to accomplish all these

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goals that I had in the short term,

which at that time, was for the next

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90 days, and then looking at it from a

longer term once I realized that I wanted

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to do this; what are my goals so that

I am able to achieve what I ultimately

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want to set out to do with this.

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Now, one of the things that I learned

when I was getting my autism diagnosis

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almost two years ago now was being

recommended the book Atomic Habits.

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Atomic Habits is a book written by James

Clear, and it's talking about how you

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form good habits, and also breaking

those bad ones that might be holding

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you back from creating some bigger

context, while at the same time, those

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little small things that you do, that

once you build momentum, it will help

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you with establishing good patterns.

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It will help you with achieving what

you set out to do, so a lot of the

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techniques that I talk about today, I

got to give credit to my good friend, Mr.

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James Clear.

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Although, I have to say that many of the

things that are talked about because of

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this book have been because of the things

that I've put into practice, even before

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I even read this book or even heard about

it, but know that I can do much better in

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some of the areas that we talk about, but

when you talk about forming habits, at

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its core, it means that you have to form

not only good things that will help you

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with getting from point A to point B, but

also knowing what your end destination is.

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I've talked about this in numerous

concepts, whether it's about your

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own life, whether it's your own

professional development, maybe it's

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about the business that you're running.

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It could be even in your own public

speaking how you get your audience from

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point A to point B, trying to share your

purpose, trying to have that ability to

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have that habit forming behavior, means

that repetition, practicing over and over

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again, especially even having it on your

schedule, is truly important, which leads

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me into really the first small thing that

James Clear talks about, which is having

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those small little changes, or that atomic

habits, those building blocks so that you

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can have those impressive achievements.

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There's really four behaviors

that he talks about.

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It's cueing it, which is making it

obvious or what triggers your habits;

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craving it, making it attractive, or

finding ways to make that habit enjoyable;

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making it responsive, making it easy and

simplified so that it's effortless to

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perform; but then the reward, what makes

it satisfying in ensuring that there's

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a reward that reinforces you doing that?

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That cue, craving, response,

reward methodology is something

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that we oftentimes think at

its simplistic form, "Wow!

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I didn't realize that I actually do set

those things up.", but when you look

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at it from a bigger level, sometimes

we're missing some of the steps.

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Even making the smallest things, even

laying out your clothes in the morning

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before you go to bed, significantly

increases your chances of picking up

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that outfit, making that a habit that

you do the night before, and those

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are the clothes that you then wear.

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It could be as easy as even making

yourself a meal replacement shake,

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or even prepping your meals.

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You're queuing that on a Sunday evening,

getting ready for that Monday morning and

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the rest of your week, because you want

to make that food attractive, so you're

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going to pick recipes, or something that

will allow you to eat that food while

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meeting many of your dietary requirements.

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If you make that easy for yourself to

do, and you make that response easy

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so that it's effortless every single

time, because you set that time aside

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on your calendar, or whatever scheduling

mechanism that you might use, especially

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if you have multiple schedules like

your family to worry about, this will

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help you make such a big difference.

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Many people overlook the fact that just

the small things, which is something

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else James Clear talks about is just

trying to have those small little things

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that will help you, even if it's in

a short duration of time, to build up

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the tolerance, and the acceptability

of wanting to do something new.

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Doing things differently, especially

when you're changing your pattern

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completely on its head is mostly why

most new year's resolution goals, since

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we're talking about that in the month of

January, more primarily, they often fail.

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Success doesn't happen with those goals,

which is why roughly only 7, 8 percent

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of individuals that set out for their

New Year's resolution goals actually

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achieve any of them, even just one for

that matter, because they make them too

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big, and they don't break them down.

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One of the things that I work with at

Your Speaking Voice, LLC is to break those

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things down, even using the SMART goal

methodology, which, out of many of the

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other methodologies that are available,

the SMART methodology is not only well

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known, especially when you have worked

with people in the corporate atmosphere,

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but you've also see that many people,

once you break it down into those small

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components, find it a lot easier, and

they don't shy away from the challenge

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of being able to do something, especially

when it's broken down for them, but one of

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the things that even James talks about in

his book is about stacking those habits,

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so when you're talking about stacking,

you're linking new habits to existing ones

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that already are there, so if you already

have the coffee that you're going to make

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in the morning, you can stack a new habit

like reading a book, after you make your

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coffee, so that you have that in tandem.

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It could be as easy as once you make

your breakfast, making sure that you

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have that shower ready to go, hopping

in, and being ready for the day.

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Good habits allow you then to create those

momentums, but you also need to have the

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environment, and one of my clients that

I've been working with, we've been trying

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to design an environmental space that will

allow them to shape those habits, changing

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those bad habits into good habits,

especially if the television and other

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electronics are distracting you from being

able to do what you really want to do.

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It could be going as far as even

getting a co-working space so that

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you are able to work more concretely

on work assignments, or even your

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own business for that matter, so that

you're pushing away those distractions.

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Knowing that you're changing your

environment so that it is all work, no

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play can make a big difference in how

you are able to change your perspective,

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but even with all the physical aspects

in mind, sometimes the mental roadblocks,

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the things that might stop us, especially

with accountability and who we answer

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to, can be a bigger roadblock than

just changing the physical attributes.

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Some of those mental aspects, especially

if you're trying to do it all by

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yourself, might be a bigger roadblock

in trying to figure out what it is that

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you really want to achieve from the

bigger, macro level perspective, which

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is why worrying about just yourself

might not be the best way to do it.

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Finding other people, on the other

hand, that might help you with

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holding that accountability, can make

such a big difference, not only in

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your mindset, changing that, "Oh!

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I want to do this.", to saying, "I

will do this.", because everybody else

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is counting on you for your piece of

it, will make such a big difference.

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Identity based habits, essentially, is

what James Clear refers to this as, and

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it's really about focusing on what that

kind of person is that you want to be.

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Rather than saying, "I want to run

a marathon.", you might actually

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want to say, "I am a runner."

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Changing your wording, saying that you

are that kind of person, can help so

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much, and even then, trying to figure

out how many times you do that when

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you go on a run, tracking that, can

make you feel like you're accomplished.

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Making sure that you're staying

consistent, so knowing that every time, at

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this time, during this time of the week,

I am going to do this, and it's going to

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get done, will also lock in your success

of actually trying to do something, and

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making that successful change occur, but

even if you have all those things lined

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up, human experiences peak motivation

when working on tasks that are just on

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the edge of their current abilities:

trying to do things that are not too

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hard, but also not too easy, but stay

challenging enough so that you're engaged,

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will essentially help with some of the

mental roadblocks that you might have.

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This book, which I highly encourage

you to pick up, focuses on the 1%.

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What are the small things that you

can do so that it turns into 10%, 20%,

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40 percent of your overall goals that

you wanted to do will actually happen?

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Change doesn't happen overnight with a

magic snap of the fingers, unfortunately,

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which is why most of the time when we

go to gyms and we see them packed with

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so many different types of people trying

to get a jumpstart on their weight

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loss resolutions, or even trying to do

things that they normally would have

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never done before, but then you find

all of a sudden that they're doing it?

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Where did that come from?

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Not having that level of accountability,

not being able to continuously grow, and

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building up to those types of activities,

are really going to push our power of

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accountability into the corner, and will

have a long term impact on us instead,

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and that long term impact, when it's

negative in nature, certainly doesn't

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help us in any sort, whatsoever.

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Doing things differently doesn't have

to be a challenging exercise either.

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If you start small, and you're

just consistent with those small

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changes, Incremental progress

will slowly start to happen.

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Even if you lost two pounds in

a month, those two pounds are a

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lot more than gaining two pounds.

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I would not want anybody to gain weight,

but actually to lose weight, so those

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small acts of accomplishments are really

what we want to work on, but we also want

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to establish healthy, successful systems

that would allow us to fixate on not just

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improving what we're doing, but working

on the bigger goal as a whole as a result.

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Having those systems, having that level of

accountability, even if you have somebody

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that you check in with, particularly a

coach for that matter, can help iterate

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and improve those habits, giving yourself

feedback continuously over and over again.

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In the realm of artificial intelligence,

or AI, you can do those sort of prompts

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easily using ChatGPT, or any other

system in which you combine not only

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building your own type of program that

you want to be held accountable to, but

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there are even apps that are designed

to reward you for sticking with routine

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habits and holding yourself to a higher

level of accountability, only if you're

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willing to change your perspective, and

accept that perspective, for what it is.

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In Toastmasters, which many of you

know has been the backbone for why

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I even started my business, Your

Speaking Voice, LLC, is really designed

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to help us hold accountability.

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If you have somebody that's really

going to hold you to the fire of

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wanting to change your perspective,

and wanting to help you with your

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public speaking and leadership

development, you would be accepting

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of every single piece of feedback or

advice that they're willing to give.

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Some people are not willing to

do that for a number of reasons.

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Some of them being that

maybe it's a time commitment.

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Maybe it's something from

a resource perspective that

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they don't have currently, but

they will have down the road.

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All these different things are

doing things differently, which

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means that even though we want to

do it, we have to have the urge.

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We have to have the motivation to do

it, and unfortunately, in some cases,

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a person that has their back against a

wall are usually the ones that are going

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to make the change the most: when they

have no other choice for that matter.

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Take it from someone that has been through

a number of different experiences when

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it comes to having their back against

a wall, whether that's been imposed by

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somebody else, or has been self inflicted

because I didn't realize what I was doing.

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I know that when we have our backs

against a wall, we are not easily able to

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manipulate, or change our circumstances.

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It is truly up to us to be more proactive,

but by doing things differently, we

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are also living in a place of fear.

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We are insecure about the ways in

which that change could ultimately

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benefit us, but if you focus on the

systems, as James Clear puts it,

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and you're able to be consistent and

start small, and improve with feedback

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and accountability, these changes,

overall, are going to help you become

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a better person than you were today.

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I know that change might not be easy,

and it means that we also have to explore

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new methodologies, new ways in which

we have to reestablish our thinking,

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but with that new thinking comes new

possibilities, new opportunities.

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Whether you want to do that for your

own job, or you want to do it for your

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business, or you want to do it for some

other reason that's not defined today,

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people are going to notice when you

are actually changing yourself, and

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helping each other to change yourself.

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If you have the right system, and you

have the right community, for that matter

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that will support you no matter what,

that's going to help you get to where you

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need to be, and doing things differently

won't be as scary as it might look

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like, so don't fall off the bandwagon

today, and if you did, who cares?

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Get back on that bandwagon, and start

doing all the things that you need to do,

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because when you see other people that

you're seated across on that bandwagon

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doing the same things and they're willing

to be helped, and they're willing to

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see the progress that you're making,

and they're accepting that in return,

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that feedback loop, that growth, that

habit forming activity, especially in

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what you're trying to accomplish, can

be very atomic in nature, and I think

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that is something that not only James

Clear would be excited about, but I

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would be excited about as your coach.

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Knowing that you're making progress,

knowing that when you are falling off

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during those crucial times, you are

getting back on, that is something

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that you should be proud of, and doing

things differently can help you, not

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only becoming the best version of who

you are, but also achieving things and

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activities that you might have never,

ever thought you could ever do, and

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doing those things makes you pretty

special, especially when you are reading

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Atomic Habits, doing the things that

you are wanting to do, like lay your

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clothes out on the bed, and oh yeah!

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Maybe, when you have that extra time,

thinking of people like me, wanting

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to help me out, helping others out

in this big community that we call

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the world, and seeing the best

versions of who we want to become.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 187 of Speaking From the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.