Episode #3 - Creating The Best Relationships For Your Well-Being

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Welcome back to episode three of Speaking From The Heart.

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Today we're going to tackle not only the concept of relationships, one of

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the three values of the business that I've started, Your Speaking Voice, but

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more specifically, how we can create the best relationships for our well-being.

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I know what you might be thinking when you read the title.

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It's not about just romantic relationships that we're alluding to,

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although those are a big part of it.

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What I'm specifically referring to are the things that we go through in

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life that sometimes are the biggest struggles, which could be not just the

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romantic kind, but also the friendships that we have, the acquaintances that

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we meet, the people that we interact with that we get the call our family.

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I have to admit that going through this episode is probably one of the tougher

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ones for me as I'm recording this, my mom is currently in the hospital.

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Going through some of the most biggest challenges that she might ever

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face in her 69 years on this earth.

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Even with that said, one of the biggest things that we can learn from all the

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different experiences that we have in our lives is to learn how to focus intently

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on how to create the best value from them.

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Relationships don't have to be transactional.

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Those can be things that we do on a daily basis that we

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normally don't even think about.

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These are the people that we go to work with every day, whether we are

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the ones that are working on a computer and interacting in this new virtual

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world of technology, being able to see with our web cameras, the faces and

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expressions of those that are pointed against it, or even the individuals that

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are speaking through a microphone...

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just like me!

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We still value the most important, the most ancient of all customs of

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being able to speak to each other, and that's about the interactions

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that we have face to face.

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I know that for many of us, that can be very tough, especially

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with the dynamics that we have.

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Sometimes our relationships can be very good and sometimes they can be very bad.

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Sometimes those are going to be things that in the middle, even though there

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are good and bad, there are also opportunities to flourish and create

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value in all kinds of different ways.

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I know from my life, one of the biggest challenges that I've had

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growing up was being able to have those relationships with intentionality.

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There was a person that I really enjoyed hanging out with the most.

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You could say that she was my first girlfriend.

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She was in middle school.

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I knew that I wanted to have a relationship with someone, because, let's

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face it, I'm a boy and I really wanted to have somebody that I could talk to

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and have that meaningful connection with.

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What turned out to be what I thought would be just a communication between

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her and I turned into something that developed what we all have to deal

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with in any sort of relationship...

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feelings.

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Now I get you; feelings are all part of the bigger dynamic that

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we always have to deal with.

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Understanding what the other person is saying while you are reacting to

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what that person is doing to you.

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Those are the give and takes that we often have to go through when

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it comes to building relationships, and that's all part of the

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learning style that we all develop.

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Whether we are trying to develop those sort of things while we're having that

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relationship, even if we are 13 years of age, or if we are 73 years of age, the

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most important thing that we're able to do is create that value for all of us to have

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in any type of situation that we face.

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The bigger question becomes, now that we have that

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relationship, how do we foster it?

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Needless to say, I'm no longer with that relationship that I was

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in when I was a 13 year old boy.

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She also moved on too...

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moved on to all kinds of other opportunities, not only within

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her relationships, but also with the people that she was dealing

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with and enjoying in her own life.

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We have to learn how to have those great relationships with others by

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understanding and digesting what is it doing to help with our overall well-being.

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Now, I will tell you that I have been one of those people that have gone

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through life thinking that there has to be some sort of formula that we can all

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listen to, that we can all dive into and create that impactful moment for

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each and every one of us that allows us to understand fully what it's all

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about; to have that opportunity, to have that succinct connection with someone

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so that we know that they understand.

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It's almost a chemistry; a biology of sorts.

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I know that in my life, that sometimes those relationships that we have

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cannot be the most easiest to form.

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It cannot be able to provide all kinds of different opportunities for us to

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create what is what we are right now.

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I know that that can be tough to do, to handle, to go through and create

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unique opportunities to say to ourselves, yes, these are the things that we need

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to do in order to have more meaningful impact, but that's the whole point.

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It's a trial by error.

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There's no magic formula.

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In episode one, I talked about that even with the start of this podcast,

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is that it's not about having a unique formula that we all fit into.

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It's about the unique experiences, especially when we're talking

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about relationships that define who we want to become.

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I haven't found yet my significant other.

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I haven't yet found the opportunities to be able to have a meaningful relationship

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with someone where I'm able to give and take and not be upset or frustrated

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because that other person doesn't understand what I'm trying to say.

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Gary Chapman, who's the author of the Five Love Languages, the original

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book that talks about some of the ways in which we develop those sort

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of opportunities to connect with other individuals in an authentic way would

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probably be mad at me to say that I have not yet found my own love language

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from within those five love languages.

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If I were to say that anything is able to be fit into a formula

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isn't necessarily the case.

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Formulas often don't equate.

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It doesn't matter which way of the equation that you try to solve it from,

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it's almost impossible to understand it if you don't have the necessary training

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and background in order to do that.

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Speaking of training and background, I haven't had enough of that.

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Even at my age, which I won't disclose here on this podcast, I know that for

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many of even my personal friends, they would, definitely say to me, Josh, you're

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not ready yet to have that relationship because of what you're going through at

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this moment, and that's perfectly okay.

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Those are the things that we typically are going through because of the

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things that we have happening in our lives right now, and that's okay.

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The things that I'm not ready for right now does not mean that I'm not going

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to be ready down the road to be able to provide for when that time comes.

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That's really the point, ladies and gentlemen; it is all about

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the matter of perspective.

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Relationships are easy enough to just say, I want to have you and I want to

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be with you for the rest of my life.

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Professional relationships are easy enough to say: coworker A, I want to B

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with you as long as I can get meaningful connection from you, and coworker b,

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you do a great job with formatting that marketing material because I do not have

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the skills necessary to create that.

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Can you continue to do that for me?

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Those are the things that we all struggle with.

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We have our strengths, we have our weaknesses.

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We also have opportunities and threats.

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We often do what businesses talk about as a SWOT analysis in our own lives.

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It isn't just about defining what those life moments are like and being able to

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craft them and shift them into a mold that we feel comfortable in portraying.

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It is about feeling good about who we really are, and that's really the

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ultimate purpose of having a relationship.

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We want that relationship to create not only the underpinnings of many different

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things and values within our lives, but we want them to provide opportunities

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for ourselves and for others that we get to connect with, that's why

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that is one of my core values that I do have that represent the business

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that I've been working with and with the clients that I work for as well.

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Sometimes it means being a little bit selfish and knowing that sometimes you

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don't have all the answers for even the people that you're interacting with,

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and boy, I can't tell you how many times in a relationship that I have

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been that way, how I've been felt like I've been subjected and not creating

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that value for somebody else or even myself now, even doing it right now.

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Thinking about why I'm creating this imposter syndrome for myself as I

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try to understand the relationships that are meaningful in my life, to

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understand where I went wrong and why I'm disconnected from some of the people

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that I've wronged and I'm telling you, I have done a lot of wrong in my life.

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Isn't that the purpose?

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Isn't that the motivation for us to be a human?

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We have to have those learning experiences so that we're able

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to rise to the next level.

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It isn't about stomping on someone else or saying that I'm better than you.

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I've heard that a lot in my life, especially in the professional

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realm, but that doesn't mean that it has to be always that way.

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What I'm really trying to say about the importance of having relationships is it's

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not just about what the connections are.

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It's not just about what you are in the inside.

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It's about finding identity in this world that sometimes has shifting priorities

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that sometimes is very hard for all of us to understand why and how we are

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able to interact in these big, vast buckets that we sometimes put ourselves

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into, and then pouring ourselves into another bucket, into another, yet

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another bucket into yet one more bucket.

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How do we spread ourselves so thin, that we no longer then have the

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relationships that we can truly value?

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For the longest time in my life, I always wanted to yearn for something

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that was in my life that would fill me.

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For many of us, we can answer that God is one of those individuals,

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and I'm not here to preach on this podcast about what God can do.

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What I am preaching to you though is how we can create more meaningful

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relationships with those that are here on this Earth that we were able

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to be able to walk on to create that systemic value, not only for those that

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are around us, but also to enrich the empowerment, to create the skillsets,

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the knowledge, the opportunities that lie dormant with inside ourselves.

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The only way to really do that effectively without compromising ourselves is to

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be able to create relationships that understand who we are as an individual.

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I can't stress enough the importance of having that conversation with someone.

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If you listening to this and you are alone and you haven't had that

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opportunity to really talk about this with someone, I'm here; I'm ready to listen.

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All it takes is just one person to hear you, to understand you, to make

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you feel that you are worth it, and your will will explode an opportunity

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that you never thought imaginable.

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Imagine that one person turns into five people.

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Five people turn into 25, 25 turns into 125.

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You get the picture, right?

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It has a multiplying effect.

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It can change the way that we network of others, and it's all about connection,

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but with having connection means you have to also understand what your purpose is.

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We are all here on this Earth for one given purpose.

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We're social animals, as Aristotle put it, and I think my political science

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professor would even go as far as saying that not only are we political

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animals in which we have to socialize, we have to be able to form ways and

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methods of creating opportunity of governance to guide each other in being

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able to help rise to the next level.

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That means that we have to have relationships that are meaningful,

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and that's what starts to create the well-being for all of us.

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If you need help and you don't know where to turn, there are plenty

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of resources out there for you.

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Governmental agencies are the greatest starting point in which there are many

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help lines to help you connect to the non-governmental organizations, the NGOs.

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The private sector, those are individuals that care.

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There are small businesses just like myself that are helping

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other people realize their true potential so that they can start

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to help you get to that next step.

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All it takes is for your willingness to say, "I need to

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have these relationship skills."

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"I know that I can do this" is what the phrase has to be that you

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tell yourself over and over again.

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And if it's hard for you to do that, sit back and think about

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the multitude of possibilities.

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If you were living in that alternate universe where you created those

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best relationships, whether they're personal, business oriented,

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or some combination in between?

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What if it would look like if you were able to create a relationship

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for your wellbeing that took you to the next highest plateau that was able

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to help you see who you really are?

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If it wasn't for some people out there that are listening to this, I know I

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would not have had that, and I know that I would not be able to be where I am

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today talking to all of you; if it wasn't for those relationships that I continue

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to build, even though that sometimes I might fail in them, I know that I can

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rise from the ashes like a Phoenix.

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So if you're out there, know that you're not alone.

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You are here for one important reason, and if you're not sure what

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that is, we'll find it for you.

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We'll be able to take you to that next part, wherever that

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might be for you, because you, all you need is just one reason.

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As long as that reasoning can expand into multitudes, that relationship with

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anybody will certainly be worthwhile.

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Thanks for listening to episode number three of Speaking From

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the Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

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Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential

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services that can help you create the best version of yourself.