Episode 132
Episode #127 - The Value Of A Best Friend: An Interview With Melody Taylor
There is no denying the importance of building relationships with others, especially ones that you can sincerely trust with being able to be there when there are good and bad times. Trusting someone with the utmost importance is key to also becoming the best version of yourself, as you give yourself permission to unlock the hidden potential that you otherwise would never see and have a "sounding board" when difficult conversations need to be had. Wrapping up our month of recognizing individuals that have positively contributed to the start of this podcast, along with the coaching business, Your Speaking Voice LLC, Melody Taylor, a personal best friend of our podcast host, joins us to discuss what it means to not only go through life with three amazing kids, but how being able to help others in their greatest time of need has been a life-changing experience for herself. The importance of having "a bestie" cannot be understated enough, even if that person is there to encourage you to keep going through, no matter what life may throw at you.
Guest Bio
Melody was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A graduate of Cumberland Valley School District, Melody has held multiple administrative positions throughout her career. Presently she is wrapping up supporting parents and their students that attend Commonwealth Charter Academy (CCA), a K-12 Public Cyber Charter School located in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Melody has navigated a variety of different types of situations which include but are not limited to the diagnosis of her brother as autistic, and lingering symptoms of a concussion suffered as a teenager. Throughout her life, Melody’s beliefs about herself were always dictated by what others said and accommodating to their requests. Her recent discovery of her latent abilities have evolved her to provide inspiration to others that seek to find out what they are capable of achieving by having actionable goals and a plan in place to stay accountable. Melody has raised three beautiful children named Lissy, Logan, and Lilianna.
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Melody.Joy.da.Silva
- Toastmasters International -Home (https://www.toastmasters.org) - Toastmasters is an international organization that has allowed many of my guests to be on the show through personal and professional connection, combining all kinds of different types of communication and leadership development. Learn more about this organization at the link provided, plus check out the "Find A Club" option where you can locate an in-person or virtual club closest to you and your likings!
Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/
Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support
Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
2
:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
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:This is Speaking From The Heart.
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:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 127 of Speaking From the Heart.
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:Today wraps up a month of awesome
interviews that I've been doing, not
6
:only honoring people that have made
positive contributions to starting my
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:business, Your Speaking Voice, LLC,
but if it wasn't for them, Speaking
8
:From the Heart, my podcast that you're
listening to right now, would have never
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:existed, and I've saved the very best
for last, because this last individual
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:that we are putting on the show today
is my best friend, Melody Taylor, and
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:I'm really excited to not only showcase
her, but this interview is something
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:that has meant so much to me, and what
has exemplified as a full circle moment,
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:which I even say during our interview.
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:Melody was born in
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
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:A graduate of Cumberland Valley
School District located in South
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:Central Pennsylvania, melody
has held multiple administrative
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:positions throughout her career.
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:Presently, she's wrapping up supporting
parents and their students that
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:attend Commonwealth Charter Academy,
better known as CCA, a K through
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:12 Public Cyber Charter School
located in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.
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:Melody has navigated a variety
of different types of situations,
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:which include but are not limited
to: the diagnosis of her brother as
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:autistic, and lingering symptoms of
a concussion suffered as a teenager.
24
:Throughout her life, Melody's
beliefs about herself were always
25
:dictated by what others said, and
accommodating to their request.
26
:Her recent discovery of her latent
abilities have evolved her to provide
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:inspiration to others that seek to
find out what they are capable of
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:achieving by having actionable goals
and a plan in place to stay accountable.
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:Melody has raised three beautiful children
named Lissy, Logan, and Liliana, and I
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:have to say, there's nothing that gets
more personal, more involved than anything
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:that you might ever do, which is having
your best friend on your own podcast.
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:Now, I can't tell you how many people
probably would ever do this, but I
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:thought it was so important for me to
not only showcase why Melody has made
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:such a huge contribution to me, but
at the very end, there are things that
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:I say that make me feel like I have
goosebumps running through me, but it
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:just demonstrates to you the power of
friendship, and the value that it could
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:bring no matter where you're at in life.
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:But with that, let's go to the episode.
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:Alright, we're here with Melody Taylor.
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:Melody, thanks for sharing
your heart with us today.
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:Melody: No problem.
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:Thanks so much for finally
having me on here, bestie!
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:Joshua: Absolutely, and I have to say for
my listeners, this is a moment for me in
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:which I think I feel like I've came full
circle because I said to Melody, who I've
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:known for many years, that I don't know
where this podcast was going to take me,
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:and I also didn't know where this would
land, because I even said this to you.
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:You might even remember a little bit
of this, but I thought this was going
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:to be like a three month experiment.
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:I know I was doing it for some reason
that I wanted to get my voice out there,
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:but little did I know, and little did
we both know, because you shared in some
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:of the pre -discussion about some of
the episodes that I was even doing that
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:I don't know if I was going to make it,
but here I am and I'm recording a episode
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:with you, so thanks so much for doing this
with me, and before I even say anything
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:else for my listeners, I've known Melody.
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:She has been somebody that has been
the biggest support for me in not
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:only everything that I've done with
my business, but also with this
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:project, so I have to tell you straight
out, thank you for everything that
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:you've done for me up to this point.
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:Melody: You're trying to make me cry
already, but I just have to say for the
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:record, I believed in you from the get go.
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:I had no doubt, no question in my mind.
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:This was your calling.
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:This is where you belonged, and I
am so happy to have seen you grow
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:and blossom through all of this.
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:It has been absolutely incredible.
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:Joshua: Well, thanks for that, so
Melody, I've let the listeners know a
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:little bit about your background, but
I wanted to jump into the fact that you
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:were born in Philadelphia, and I did not
know this, and we went back and forth
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:quite a bit about it because I didn't
even know even after I'd known you for
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:over a decade, so maybe you can tell
our listeners a little bit about why
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:Philadelphia, and why you now live in
Mechanicsburg, because I know there's been
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:a lot of different movement in your life.
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:Melody: Yes.
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:I would like to say West
Philadelphia born and raised on the
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:playground is where I spent most
of my days, but that's not true.
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:My family is all from Philadelphia.
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:That is where I was born.
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:My older two brothers were born there.
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:My parents were.
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:I actually was born at home
on a Wednesday evening.
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:My dad was a pastor and he had to miss
prayer meeting, but my parents had no
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:insurance, so I was born at home, and
I think when I was four, we moved to
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:Michigan for a little over a year for
my dad's job, and then that brought
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:him back to the Mechanicsburg area, so
I lived at Mechanicsburg, Camp Hill.
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:When I got married, I lived in
Shiremanstown, and then I also moved to
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:Illinois for six years and four months.
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:I moved back, and I was in New Cumberland.
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:I've been all over the place here, a lot
of moves, and staying with my parents
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:in between every single one of them.
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:They just keep bringing me
back as a boomerang child.
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:Joshua: Well, there's nothing wrong with
that, and I have to say that I lived with
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:my parents up until my mid twenties, at
most, because I was trying to get a stable
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:footing and a job and all of that, so I
feel like that's sort of been what our
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:generation has gone through, trying to
figure out where that level of stability
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:is, so I can completely understand that.
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:With moving back and forth, I mean,
I know I've had guests on the show
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:that have talked about those sort
of experiences and trying to feel
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:like they have a sense of belonging.
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:Did you ever have time to like settle into
any of these places, and feel like you
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:were at home, or how was that dynamic?
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:Melody: Honestly, I have always
felt like I've been at home close to
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:my parents and close to my family.
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:I moved to Illinois when I was only
married for- I believe about eight
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:months, and that was miserable for me.
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:I was more depressed than I had
ever been in my entire life.
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:I cried every day.
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:It was awful, and I felt so secluded from
my family and my husband at the time,
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:when he lost his job there, on Valentine's
Day, ironically, that was the best thing
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:to ever happen because it brought me
back to my parents, and even though I
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:feel like I've been moving around there
in a house and renting a house, and then
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:buying a house, and then moving back in
with my parents, and building a house, and
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:moving back in with my parents, and all
of this, just being close to my parents
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:has felt the most at home, and I have
three children, so it is very important
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:for me to have that support from them.
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:That really is the only family that I
have, other than my brother and sister
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:in law that also live with my parents,
but that's the only family I have, and
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:that is where I feel the most connected.
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:Joshua: I feel that, for me, I missed out
on a big part of my life with not being
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:able to stay really much in touch with
my parents because they live in Oley.
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:For my listeners, Oley is in
Berks County in Pennsylvania.
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:It's about a hundred mile distance,
between, which translate roughly to
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:an hour and a half, hour 45, so I feel
like I've lost a lot of that connection
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:and trying to stay in touch, so it
is really comforting to kind of hear
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:from you, being able to reconnect and
being able to provide that sort of,
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:not only support system, but you know
that they're always there for you too.
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:Melody: When I came back to the area,
I was still in contact with one of
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:my best friends from high school,
and that's how I met you at game
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:night, and that was one of the first
things that I did when I came back.
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:He invited me to go to game night,
so I could reconnect with people that
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:I knew before, meet new people, and
that's where I finally felt like,
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:"Okay, I can settle here.", because
in Illinois, I never felt settled.
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:I never felt like I belonged.
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:It was an awful experience, but
I brought it upon myself as well,
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:just because I did not like it.
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:I didn't feel comfortable.
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:Just coming back here to my roots has
been really life changing for me, and
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:some days I still do regret ever leaving,
but I know I did learn a lot of lessons
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:on that, and my big lesson is I never
want to leave my parents ever again.
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:Joshua: Well, I think that many parents
were probably cringing at that last
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:sentence because they're like, "No,
I don't want to ever come back.", but
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:sometimes that doesn't work out the
way it does for a variety of reasons,
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:but, you said something about finding
yourself and feeling like you are living
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:that life with being able to get back
on stable footing and all those things.
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:I'm wondering if you can talk a little
bit about ,what are some of the things
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:that have changed for you as a result of
not only maybe moving back in, but maybe
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:what has allowed you to discover about
yourself that you didn't see before?
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:Melody: Well, I did go through
a lot and this is something
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:that I still deal with now.
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:I actually have traumatic brain injury
from I had a concussion when I was in
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:11th grade where I was out of school
for half of the year, and I wasn't
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:able to go back full time in my senior
year, and then I had a car crash a few
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:years ago where my car was totaled.
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:Somebody ran a red light, and
I had a concussion from that.
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:Honestly, I don't think that people
expected me to be able to walk out of that
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:car, alive, the way that things looked,
but that car protected me, and all of
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:that, and numerous other things that have
gone on in my life, simple things like,
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:I had a running accident when my youngest
was a newborn, and my parents were
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:always there supporting me and helping
me stay on my feet, and they, they have
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:just been amazing, and so many times I
have had to come back to them, and that
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:honestly is where a lot of the support
has been also getting into Toastmasters,
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:thanks to you, has definitely helped me.
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:It has definitely helped me.
163
:I know I need to do more with that, but
I feel like I've really struggled to
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:have a voice, and to speak up for myself
and with the traumatic brain injury,
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:and my memory is sometimes really awful.
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:I have episodes of really big regression
and it does come around stress and
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:there's a lot of stress in my life right
now, but I feel like Toastmasters has
168
:also helped me to gain some footing in
there, and also just to make me feel
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:human, and real, and knowing that I'm
not among a bunch of people that are
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:all perfect, and speaking perfectly, and
have this great mannerisms of every sort.
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:I just feel like I've been able to learn
from them how to be human and how to put
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:my story together, and encourage others,
and just being real with other people.
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:That is a huge thing for me.
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:I'm very adamant about being
real, not sugarcoating, not making
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:everybody think my life is perfect.
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:It's not.
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:It sucks.
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:A lot of stuff sucks, but I feel like
that helps to connect with people, and for
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:people to feel comfortable connecting with
me when they see that I'm going through
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:things and, I'm very open about it.
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:Joshua: For those that are new to my
show and don't know what Toastmasters is,
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:we spent a lot of time in the beginning
talking about what that has meant.
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:We had a lot of guests on the show
relating to that, and if you're ever
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:interested in checking out a local
Toastmasters club, whether it's virtually
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:or in person, I'll put a link in the
episode notes so you can go and check
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:that out, because, not only, Melody,
do I agree with you, because I know
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:I introduced you to it, and you were
kicking and screaming about it, but
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:at the same time you embraced it after
a while because you saw what those
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:intended/unintended benefits are.
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:I think that it helps to foster that
community of people and helps us to
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:learn in an environment that is safe
and positive in nature, which is what
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:Toastmasters really provides, but
the thing about providing that safe
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:atmosphere, that positivity, I feel
like there's a connection there between
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:your parents and even the people that
you have met through that organization,
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:and even friends that you have.
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:Outside of me, because I know that
we've been friends for a long time.
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:Is there somebody that you really
want to give a shout out to, or maybe
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:acknowledge as somebody that's been
really a big help for you over the
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:last several years that maybe has made
a positive contribution into creating
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:that best version of who you are?
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:Melody: I absolutely have to give a
shout out to my best friend, Sarah.
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:I call her Unicorn Sarah.
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:We have matching tattoos.
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:We have a lot of similarities in life and
it is somebody that I'm able to just be
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:real with, and she can be real with me,
and our lives are messy, and we go through
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:periods of time without talking, but if
either of us have something going on that
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:we just need to bounce off the other,
or just vent, or just say, "Hey, this is
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:really, really hard.", we're always there
for each other, and if something big is
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:going on that we just need another adult
in our presence, I'll go over to her.
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:She'll come over to me.
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:We'll meet at a coffee shop or
whatever, and she has been so
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:instrumental in helping me just to
feel more normal and to feel connected
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:and just having that camaraderie.
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:Obviously, you're my bestie.
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:You're my bestie.
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:Joshua: And yes, folks, we do call each
other besties every time that we see
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:each other, so it's definitely never a
dull moment between her and I, and I have
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:to ask this because with you mentioning
Sarah, which obviously I've known Sarah
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:for a few years now myself because of that
mutual connection, you've said something
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:that strikes me about meeting people
with wherever they got going on, whether
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:you have something that goes really
bad or something that's really good.
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:Do you feel that the bad moments, because
you were talking about depression, anxiety
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:earlier, which I know that our stories
are intertwined when it comes to that.
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:I've had John Schuchman on the show,
and we talked about that experience
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:that night about what had happened, and
we were talking about you and how you
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:reached out too, to make sure everything
was fine about my situation itself.
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:Do you think it's really important to
have those people, whether it's just
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:a few dozen, or maybe even just one,
to reach out to, to feel like you are
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:okay and things are going to be better?
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:I mean, do you think that
it's really important, and
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:if so, why do you think that?
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:Melody: Definitely, and this is
something that we tell each other.
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:We often find ourselves
apologizing to the other.
234
:We say, "We know that you have a lot
going on, but I just need to vent about
235
:something.", but we are just always
there for each other in those moments,
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:and we make sure to tell each other
that even if I have a lot going on, if
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:you need me, even if I can't respond
right away, send me a voice message.
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:We've both had issues where we have just
literally wanted to run away, or having
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:horrible thoughts, and we make sure that
we are able to open up to each other
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:about things like that, just to have
this feeling of safety of like, "Okay.
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:Somebody knows what I'm going through.
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:They understand.
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:They acknowledge.", and I feel like
that's just been really helpful just to
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:know when I do have a lot, when I have
things going on, and I have a lot going
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:on with my children; a whole lot of
things, that she's always somebody that
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:will listen and she'll be like, "Yeah.
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:You don't have to apologize,
because I know I have a lot going
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:on, but so do you.", and we have a
lot of similarities in our lives.
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:Our lives intertwined in some of the
strangest ways, but it just helps us to be
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:able to understand each other even more.
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:Joshua: I think that mutual connection
with what you said, how that all stringed
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:together, is sometimes the weird ways in
which life works, and even so, sometimes
253
:dealing with that, and how we handle
it and process it, are completely big
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:things, and you even mentioned that with
even the things that you've suffered
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:as concussions throughout your life.
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:I want to pivot a little bit, because
this is actually a fascinating part
257
:about your life that not many people
really understand or know much about,
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:which is not only the fact that you
have three kids, but those three kids
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:actually go to Commonwealth Charter
Academy, CCA, and for my listeners that
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:are not part of Pennsylvania, that is
a- well not really a company, I should
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:really call it a school in itself, it
is, that allows for in home instruction,
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:so being able to virtually attend
school, so there's no physical building.
263
:They do meet occasionally with different
places as field trips, and even activities
264
:that they collaborate on, but all the
instruction is done virtually, so how
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:is it like to be able to have your
kids enrolled in public cyber charter
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:school, because I know that I've had a
few guests on the show that I've talked
267
:about this, being able to virtually
instruct, but nobody quite like you that
268
:has been able to really embrace it, and
I know you've been a big advocate for
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:it, so I'm wondering if you can talk
a little bit about those experiences,
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:raising three kids through that.
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:Melody: Absolutely.
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:Now I have been doing CCA;
this is my eighth year.
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:I have a first grader and a fourth grader
and a seventh grader and we have done
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:CCA since kindergarten for all of them.
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:Just this year, I was a family mentor
for CCA, which means basically I
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:was helping new families that were
just recently enrolled, to navigate
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:through their first year and offer
them support and just helping them
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:to know that they're not alone, and
this is something that I have been so
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:passionate about for years, because it
has worked tremendously for our family.
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:It has really taught independence,
especially for my oldest, my 13 year
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:old, she has been doing school on
her own, without hardly any help
282
:for a few years now, especially it
is important for my fourth grader.
283
:My fourth grader, Logan, he has ADHD,
autism, sensory processing disorder,
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:emotional disturbance, among other
things, and my younger brother was
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:diagnosed with autism in his thirties,
and he had a very bad experience in the
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:public school system, and a very big
advocate of me having my kids in CCA,
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:and I'm getting so much support for him.
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:Things are not easy at all.
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:There are some days that I am in tears.
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:I literally want to run away, but I just
keep thinking of the alternative and
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:because he has a lot of behavior issues.
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:He would more than likely be
kicked out of a public school.
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:Most other places that we go, he acts
up and he has been kicked out of other
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:places, so I feel like it is so important
to be able to have him home with me.
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:I am monitoring him when he does act up.
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:I'm seeing it, and I'm not just getting a
phone call or a report later saying, "Oh,
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:he did this...", or I'm not wondering what
did the teacher do to him if he did start
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:to get violent, and I don't have to worry
about his safety because I am right there
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:and I see it, and it has been a struggle,
obviously, because obviously, if I would
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:just send my kids to school, I would have
so much more free time during the day, but
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:I wouldn't trade it, because I feel like
they are getting an excellent education.
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:I am in the forefront of it.
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:I am in communication with the teachers.
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:I'm seeing them every day.
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:We are attending field trips.
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:We have some friends that we've made
through CCA that we do extra things
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:with that aren't even with CCA, and it's
just been an awesome community to be a
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:part of, and now also being a contracted
worker and helping other families has
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:just been awesome, but I can't imagine
doing anything else, and I'm hoping it
310
:is my goal that all of my kids stay with
CCA until graduation because it's just
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:working so well for us, and like I said,
being a mentor, I get to hear stories from
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:other parents, and that is what I love.
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:When I can relate with them, and they
can tell me the experience that they
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:might've had in a public school, or a
child with autism that wasn't supported
315
:fully, and just seeing how happy they are
with the experience here, and just being
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:able to give some personal tidbits of
information, and just talk about, "Yes.
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:We've been through the IEP process.
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:We've been through all of the testing.",
and it just really helps to connect
319
:with some of my parents, some of
my families, to see how this is an
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:excellent, excellent way of education.
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:I always say it doesn't
work for everybody.
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:There are some kids that do belong
in the classroom and that is how they
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:thrive and they're just perfectly fine.
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:My kids have never had an issue
of wanting to even try public
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:school because they realize, "Hey!
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:I can sleep in a little.
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:I can be in my pajamas.
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:We can go for a walk between classes.
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:When the pool is open, we could just
go to the pool after classes are
330
:done.", so it's been awesome for us.
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:Joshua: You mentioned something
earlier about your son, and about the
332
:situation that he's going through.
333
:Can you tell us a little bit about
some of the things that you do to help
334
:cope with that, because I know that
there are probably parents out there
335
:listening to this, that are just at
wit's end in terms of trying to figure
336
:out how to self contain that, because
you and I have even talked about this.
337
:I had a late stage diagnosis
myself of autism, and it was never
338
:supported whatsoever, so you and
I have had a lot of conversations.
339
:You and your brother essentially have
helped a lot with probably figuring
340
:out some of the things that I didn't
even realize about it, but I'm
341
:wondering if you have some helpful
advice for anybody out there that
342
:is struggling with something similar
as to what you've been experiencing.
343
:Melody: Seeking help and
being open about things.
344
:Just like I said earlier, how I love
to be open, and it helps to open
345
:up the conversation with others.
346
:I have had so many people reach out to
me and say, "Hey, my child deals with
347
:the same thing.", and then just being
able to support each other, being part of
348
:neurodivergent groups, on Facebook, that
has been really helpful and even just
349
:trying to get the right kind of help.
350
:Now, getting help for a child like this
is not easy with the system, and it takes
351
:a lot of patience, and it takes a lot
of persistence to get the help that you
352
:need for your child, but don't give up,
and also just stopping, and thinking, and
353
:knowing, their brain style is different.
354
:They're not going to act and behave
the same way that a neurotypical child
355
:will, and that's something that I
have to remind myself of often, that
356
:sometimes he's not trying to do this.
357
:He doesn't want to act out like this, but
this is how his brain is working, and I
358
:need to just try whatever tactics , . And
one tactic that I use with him a lot that
359
:does help is I hold onto him gently, and
we talk about things that we can change,
360
:things that we cannot change, and what
we can do about it, and then we discussed
361
:that, and then we talk about doing a 180,
where we will physically turn around, not
362
:in a full circle, but doing a 180, and
that is a way of demonstrating, "Okay.
363
:I have thought about what is going on.
364
:I know that I can't change what
I'm upset about, but this is what
365
:I can change in effect, and now I'm
turning around, and I'm going to
366
:just act completely different.",
and so that's what he uses now.
367
:When we talk about when he's having
an episode of a fit, I will say,
368
:"What do you think you need to do?"
369
:He knows he needs to make a
180, and so that's what we do.
370
:Joshua: Can't tell you how many times
you and I have talked about making
371
:180s, so we didn't really talk about
it in that concept, but it's the truth.
372
:We have all have had to make some
180 adjustments in both our lives to
373
:kind of get to where we're at now,
and the work is never done either.
374
:I think you and I have even had those
conversations about how we can work
375
:through goals and how we can figure out
how to be accountable for those goals,
376
:and you're teaching that to your kids,
which is admirable, because a lot of
377
:the things that we go through in life,
sometimes we don't have that role model.
378
:One of my guests have even mentioned
about the impact of being able to have
379
:that support system all the time, so you
mentioned something though, that really
380
:is not only an important aspect of why we
go through not only having kids in school,
381
:but also why virtual works for you.
382
:I'm interested by the fact that
you want to help other parents
383
:that are exploring this option.
384
:How has that been being able to
be able to work with parents that
385
:have millions of questions, because
they didn't grow up in that?
386
:I mean, the concept of a virtual cyber
school did not exist not all that long
387
:ago, and even for people that grew up in
the school system, this is a completely
388
:different sort of aspect that when they
have kids, this is a whole new adventure,
389
:so what are some common things that you've
been asked as somebody exploring that?
390
:Melody: Okay.
391
:A lot of people think that it is
antisocial, that it is like being
392
:a homeschooler that doesn't get
out and they just stay at home,
393
:and that is just not the case.
394
:It is what you make it, and that is
why I'm so passionate about it, because
395
:at least with this cyber school,
there are a lot of options to interact
396
:with others, even in the classroom.
397
:The teachers will, in the Zoom room,
do a little breakout room for the
398
:students, or the learners, to talk with
each other, talk about their weekend,
399
:and they develop friendships that way.
400
:That is definitely one of the biggest
things that I have some families
401
:coming into CCA saying, "I don't
know about this, because my kid is
402
:rarely social.", and I say, "Yeah.
403
:Mine is too.", and we have
just been able to work with
404
:it where we're at field trips.
405
:We're meeting up with people.
406
:They're able to talk with their
teachers more than I feel like they
407
:would one on one in a public school
as well, like my son who needs a
408
:little bit of extra assistance.
409
:He can very quickly send a
chat message to his teacher and
410
:say, "Hey, can you help me?"
411
:They'll open up a zoom room and
they'll help him, which is another
412
:awesome thing, so I think that some
parents don't really understand
413
:that it really is what you make it.
414
:It is not antisocial.
415
:It is not just a homebody, and this
school offers so many field trips
416
:throughout the year, all over the place.
417
:Last year, I took my three kiddos
to Pittsburgh, twice, because
418
:there was a field trip there.
419
:There was a teacher we wanted to meet.
420
:I just booked a hotel and we made a whole
few days out of it, and that was awesome.
421
:The second time we actually went
with another CCA family, and we were
422
:able to connect with them there, and
it was awesome, so that's something
423
:that I like to let the new parents
know that there are definitely ways.
424
:You just have to get yourself involved
a little bit, but once the children
425
:connect and become friends, you
become friends with the parents.
426
:You're connecting.
427
:You're seeing each other at field trips,
and you're making those connections,
428
:and it might not be exactly the same as
sitting in a classroom all day, but it is
429
:out in real life and that's what my kids
love to do is just be part of different
430
:things, and different kind of experiences,
that are part of the school day and
431
:instead of sitting in a classroom all day.
432
:Joshua: You've mentioned a lot in
the last several minutes about what
433
:your kids have been through in terms
of being part of the CCA experience.
434
:You've mentioned even earlier about
your experiences just moving around and
435
:really kind of feel like you're that
boomerang kid and having to adapt and to
436
:adjust to all these moving expectations,
dealing with the concussion, dealing
437
:with all kinds of other life events.
438
:My final question is really this.
439
:What keeps you going?
440
:What makes you strong to keep
persevering, because I know for
441
:people like just being able to deal
with the daily and even raising three
442
:kids, which in itself is amazing.
443
:I've always said this to you.
444
:I don't know how you do it sometimes,
even myself, because like, I would freak
445
:out over one kid, and you know that I
don't have any kids, but at the same
446
:time, I'm dealing with a lot of those
things that I'm working through to
447
:become the best version of even myself
is even as I build being a coach, but
448
:what inspires you to keep going, Melody?
449
:Melody: Honestly, what keeps me going is
I have a boyfriend now that I have known
450
:since eighth grade, and just recently
reconnected with him over a 20 year high
451
:school reunion, and some days, that's
what keeps me going is having somebody
452
:to support me in my life like that,
that I haven't been supported in the
453
:same way before, and somebody who has a
lot of similarities in life to me, and
454
:just knowing that I do have somebody who
genuinely cares, and I can bounce things
455
:off of, and I find it odd, but that really
does help me sometimes get through each
456
:day is just knowing that I have somebody
like that and I didn't for a very, very,
457
:very long time, and so it's interesting
for my youngest daughter to say, "Mom.
458
:He makes you too happy.",
and I say, "Okay.
459
:Well, good.
460
:I'm glad.
461
:That's a really good thing.", but that,
just adding him into my support system,
462
:is kind of what keeps me going, and
knowing that I can't give up for my kids.
463
:Even though some days I really honestly
want to, and I have really down days where
464
:I just cry and I just want to escape.
465
:I cry a lot.
466
:Josh can tell you this.
467
:I have purchased extra tissues for
his office because I cry so much,
468
:but just knowing that I have people
depending on me too, and I have to keep
469
:going for them and I have to see my kids
through, especially to success rather
470
:than just completely giving up on them.
471
:Joshua: We all have that motivation in
our life, and I think even you and I
472
:have talked about this off and on for
12 years, where I feel like sometimes
473
:it's about not only figuring out what
it means to have that purpose, which I
474
:often say to various people that come
through my business, but it's also about
475
:figuring out what keeps us going, and one
thing that I have to point out for our
476
:listeners, because I know that they can't
see this, it's all audio, is that you
477
:have the tattoo on your arm of "Continue."
478
:I think that you continue no matter what
those obstacles are, which many people
479
:would have given up, maybe like you said,
they would have just thrown in the towel.
480
:You haven't.
481
:You keep figuring the things out and
you keep on making those things happen,
482
:but I have to say, if it wasn't for
you, I wouldn't be able to continue.
483
:I wouldn't have never been a success with
what I've continued to build, and although
484
:I know, personally, and you know this
too, that I have so much more work yet to
485
:do, what makes this really impactful for
me is that if it wasn't for you, there
486
:would be no Speaking From The Heart.
487
:There would be no Your Speaking Voice.
488
:There would be no Josh Smith, literally,
and I don't know what that means in the
489
:future with what I got on my heart and on
my cards, but I will say to you, Melody,
490
:that if it wasn't for you, I would not
be half the person that I am today.
491
:I really mean that because you were there
when the darkest times were happening,
492
:and even after that, how many times there
have been some dark moments for me too,
493
:and I think that if it wasn't for your
courage, and you carrying that, despite
494
:just talking it through, I would not be
a perfect person, which I'm not, and I
495
:think that it makes me perfect in the
sense that it makes me feel like I can
496
:work on things in my life that now I
have some of those tools that I didn't
497
:have before, and that is a sense of
working towards that sort of perfection.
498
:Knowing that I'm not going to be perfect,
but know that I'm able to work on it.
499
:You're doing the work, you're
making it happen, and for all
500
:those reasons, Melody, thanks for
being on Speaking From the Heart.
501
:It was really not just an honor and a
privilege as I always tell my guests, but
502
:this interview is a little bit different
for me, in that personally, you are one
503
:of those people that are the reason why
this even exists in the first place,
504
:so thank you for always supporting me
and making me feel like I'm part of
505
:this experience in what's called life.
506
:Melody: And right back at you.
507
:Honestly, I know I wasn't supposed to
brag on you this whole time, but you have
508
:been that one for me and that's why I just
feel like I have to reciprocate it to you.
509
:There's been times where I have been in
a horrible, horrible space and I just
510
:FaceTime you bawling and you're able to
help me to breathe through things until
511
:I can speak, and you're not judging me,
and I just want to thank you, because
512
:you have been so instrumental in my life,
and you are one of those people I know
513
:that I could always count on no matter
what you're going through and I always
514
:want to be there for you, no matter what
it takes, if I am coming to your work
515
:to sit next to you on the step outside
while you cry, that's what I want to do.
516
:If I-
517
:Joshua: And that has happened, folks.
518
:Yes.
519
:Melody: If I have to come into your office
after you have a flood, I will do that.
520
:Joshua: And that also has happened, folks,
and that's a whole other story in itself.
521
:Melody: Yes.
522
:Yes, but I feel like it's something
that I just owe you, because you
523
:have helped me in so many ways over
the years, and I wouldn't be where
524
:I'm at now, if it wasn't for you.
525
:Joshua: You never owed me anything, nor
do you owe anybody else except yourself,
526
:the awesome gifts that you have and to
keep embracing that, and just finding
527
:who you are, and you're doing that, and
I really do appreciate that Melody, so
528
:again, thanks for being part of the show.
529
:Melody: Thanks for having me.
530
:Joshua: I don't know what to say.
531
:This is one of the first times
that I wrapped up an interview,
532
:and I feel completely speechless.
533
:It is almost a feeling as if I've come
full circle, not only in everything that
534
:I've been doing, to get to this point
in my career, not only on this earth,
535
:but to know that there are people like
Melody that have been there, every step
536
:of the way, but yet, at the same time,
didn't even realize what they provide to
537
:others that makes such a big difference,
and it's funny, because even after this
538
:recording of this interview, Melody has
gone through so many different things in
539
:her life that I hope that when she listens
to this, even as she continues to listen
540
:to this for years to come, she is reminded
of the fact that her unbelievable power
541
:that she has, just as much as the power
that you have, my listeners, in being
542
:able to take a story just like hers,
and transform it into such unlimited
543
:potential, should demonstrate to you
the ability for you to be able to create
544
:not only the best versions of yourself,
but ultimately, accomplish anything
545
:that you could do through the power
of friendship, because let's face it.
546
:Melody and I would have never been able
to meet in the circumstances that we
547
:had if it wasn't for the fact that many,
many years ago, I even challenged the
548
:status quo by moving out, and was one
of the best decisions I have ever made,
549
:in order for me to grow, but to also
evolve, but also at the same time, knowing
550
:that some things happen for a reason.
551
:This pre-determined meeting of Melody
and I, turned into something that I would
552
:have never thought would support even my
business, let alone this very show for
553
:that matter, because let's face it, moving
around with various types of individuals
554
:and having all kinds of different types
of support system might not be feeling
555
:very good, especially with all the things
that you might have going on in your life.
556
:People sometimes make you feel crappy,
and other people sometimes make you
557
:feel happy, but yet, when you go through
all these various obstacles that you
558
:might have in your life, and maybe
they are dealt with all kinds of people
559
:that you have to work with, whether
they are teachers or administrators,
560
:or maybe even somebody else, you have
to realize that there are different
561
:ways in which we can overcome the
obstacles that we have in our lives.
562
:We have to be able to find niches,
or even places for that matter,
563
:that we can find our voice, but
do you struggle to have a voice?
564
:Do you regress on having a
voice, because you're afraid
565
:of what that outcome might be?
566
:It can make such a big difference in
terms of what is going on in our lives,
567
:not only to raise our children, not
only to go through adulthood, maybe even
568
:take care of our elder parents, but the
next time that you meet someone in a
569
:coffee shop to have an experience that
you never thought you would ever have,
570
:are you going to have that conversation
move you forward, or move you back?
571
:I think that the people that you even
sit down for coffee with, can have such a
572
:profound effect on the ways in which you
support yourself; how you raise others
573
:dictates how you will be treated too, even
your own children, even the people that
574
:you associate with, so what can you do?
575
:How you can provide support in these
different areas is truly an important
576
:aspect, but let's face it, with all
the people that we've had on this
577
:show this month, which include John
Schuchman, Michael Dugan, and Brittany
578
:and Corey Hart, all have said things
that are all tied together, even this
579
:very interview with Melody today.
580
:It's relationships, and it's the
relationships that help us to learn
581
:and grow and connect that make such
a big difference, especially when
582
:we need that extra support the most,
but there's something that Melody's
583
:journey really provided for me, when
our journeys collided together, and
584
:it is the topic of neurodivergence.
585
:Now, I have to be real with you is that
Melody actually connected me with some
586
:of my other previous guests that I've
had on this show already, which include
587
:Leann Firestone and Erin McNamara.
588
:If it wasn't for these individuals, I
wouldn't even have had them as guests,
589
:even having the conversations that
I had in both of those interviews
590
:allowed me to figure out why I
really like working with Melody as a
591
:best friend, because let's face it.
592
:Neurodivergence, what I struggle with
the most, has provided me with so many
593
:different types of opportunities, but
it's also provided me with a lot of
594
:pain, but I turn that pain into purpose,
while some people, not necessarily naming
595
:names or even picking on people, don't
know how to best move forward from that.
596
:You need to have patience and persistence,
which is why I love that Melody talks
597
:about her children, especially those
that need that extra assistance.
598
:I have learned to respect a lot better
why those differences are so valuable,
599
:because I did not know what that meant
to actually be neurodivergent until it
600
:happened to me a little over a year ago
now, but what are the physical hints?
601
:What is it that you're trying
to do that will help you to keep
602
:moving that relationship forward,
especially when you need those
603
:people the most to help lean on you?
604
:To help push you forward?
605
:That's what friends are for, and
Melody did all of those things for me.
606
:If she wasn't there for me, in the
very beginning, I would have closed up
607
:this business in a heartbeat, because
I thought that maybe I was doing
608
:the right thing, but there have been
many different times in which I've
609
:sat and cried, and cried, and cried,
wondering why I made the choices that
610
:I did, but Melody reminds me of the
importance of it is what you make it.
611
:I could have made my life
full of all kinds of different
612
:opportunities, but at the same time.
613
:if I remained antisocial, especially
if I never tried to make inwards into
614
:why I was feeling the way I was, I
would be half the person that I am
615
:today, and it's because of friendships
that have made such a big difference.
616
:You can explore.
617
:You can have opportunities
that work alongside of you.
618
:You can make this happen for yourself
too, but the main important point of
619
:this is, and the question that we're
really aiming at answering today, is how
620
:and who has helped you to support those
similarities so that you don't give up?
621
:So that you keep pushing forward?
622
:So that you know that you always
will have a best friend that will
623
:help you, no matter what happens?
624
:It's very hard to record this
last portion of this amazing month
625
:for a lot of different reasons.
626
:Melody has meant so much to me, in
ways in which you, my listeners,
627
:will never understand, and sure, some
people will speculate that maybe I
628
:have some sort of relationship with her
outside of just being a best friend,
629
:but that isn't what this is about.
630
:If you are really understanding what
I mean when you have somebody that you
631
:just connect with, and you know that they
are there to support you no matter what.
632
:It goes beyond what any sort
of human instinct might think.
633
:It challenges what you might even
believe that is really important about
634
:what life is, because sometimes we just
need people that are there, no matter
635
:what, to cry on with their shoulder, to
just listen to, to just hold your hand
636
:and just say that it's okay, things
are going to get better, and even when
637
:people are so mean and downright nasty,
you can talk to them, and they won't
638
:hold a grudge, or they won't befuddle
you with all kinds of other comments
639
:that might otherwise be considered
inappropriate in some other circles.
640
:To be truthful, Melody knows things about
my life that, even for myself, I didn't
641
:realize that I knew I had a problem with,
and she identified with it many years ago.
642
:That is the kind of
relationship that we have.
643
:That is the reason why I keep coming
back, knowing that Melody's going to
644
:point those things out to me, and if
you don't have somebody in your life
645
:today that is not willing to do that
for you, and you think that they are
646
:supposed to be doing that, and you still
hang around them, it's time to rethink
647
:your position, ladies and gentlemen,
as to whether that friendship is really
648
:important, because value matters.
649
:Quality matters.
650
:It isn't about quantity.
651
:It isn't about your followers.
652
:It isn't about what you think are
really the most important things in
653
:life, because the most important things
boil down to who will be there when all
654
:things go to hell, and mass chaos ensues.
655
:Melody and John, both together, came
to save my life over four years ago.
656
:I don't know if you ever had somebody in
your life that would go to great lengths,
657
:especially if you were down in the dumps,
homeless, maybe even having other sort of
658
:situations play out: medical, physical,
whatever they might be, but if you don't
659
:have a friend, like I just interviewed
today on my show, you need to rethink
660
:your position today, because let's be
real, if it wasn't for people like her, I
661
:would not be who I am, so I want to take,
one more time, the last few minutes to
662
:talk to my best friend Melody, and for
my listeners that are listening to this,
663
:I want you to hear what I have to say to
her because I think that it serves as an
664
:important guidepost for us to explore,
even if in a coaching environment,
665
:why it's important to say these things
that are on our hearts and minds.
666
:Melody.
667
:This part of the episode is for you.
668
:I know that down the road you will be
listening to this, and you will be such
669
:a changed woman, in ways in which not
only are you raising three healthy kids,
670
:not only will you have somebody in your
life that you will be able to love and
671
:respect, but I want you to know that
you and your family have helped me, and
672
:have changed me, and that you've made
me whole, as a human being, as a male
673
:figure, for somebody else that I know I
will meet in my life that I will be able
674
:to enjoy the pleasure of helping them
see the best versions of who they are.
675
:If it wasn't for you, I would
not be the winner of so many
676
:different parts of my life now.
677
:I would not be overcoming some of
the obstacles that I have let stand
678
:in my way for so long, but more
importantly, that you had a voice in
679
:a part of my life that I needed to
have, and I love how far you've come.
680
:You have helped me where other people
would have never been able to help.
681
:You have created value where you might
have never even realized that value needed
682
:to be created, but more importantly,
above all else, you are the epitome of
683
:what it means to have a friend that will
stand by you, through thick and thin,
684
:whether you absolutely hated me or not.
685
:I want you to know that I love you, best
friend, and that you matter the most.
686
:You are becoming the best
version of yourself, and I
687
:love what you are becoming.
688
:Never give up.
689
:Never feel that you are worthless, but
more importantly, don't ever lose that God
690
:given opportunity that you've been given,
because you are becoming not just the best
691
:version of yourself, but the best version
for others, to help you see the light that
692
:is so ahead of you in many different ways.
693
:I want to thank all those that have
been part of this amazing set of
694
:episodes this month, and I especially
want to thank you, the listeners, for
695
:allowing me to share this with you.
696
:I hope that these five guests, overall,
have been able to help you see not only
697
:that anybody can help you become better
for who you are, but for what you are able
698
:to create in your own life for the future.
699
:Thanks for listening to episode
number 127 of Speaking From The
700
:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart very soon.
701
:Outro: Thanks for listening.
702
:For more information about our podcast
and future shows, search for Speaking From
703
:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
wherever you listen to your podcasts.
704
:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
for more information about potential
705
:services that can help you create
the best version of yourself.
706
:See you next time.
