Episode 133
Episode #128 - "Bon Voyage!" To A Rock Bottom Past: An Interview With Bonnie Hardie
What we may not know about individuals in our lives can be surprising, especially if they keep deep, dark secrets about aspects that they are struggling with, as they be uncertain about what others may have as a response to certain areas of our lives. How we handle those areas in our lives on the inside does not (& should not) affect what we can be on the outside to treat others, especially in the realm of empowering ourselves. Even at rock bottom, you can change the facets of parts of your life that help to eradicate anything that may stand in your way...including what today's guest offers. As a coach, Bonnie Hardie has navigated various types of situations with her clients, but her story today will enshrine how you can say, "Bon Voyage!", to personal situations, albeit debilitating, to change your circumstances in your life for the better.
Guest Bio
Bonnie is a Women's Empowerment Coach with an emphasis on Mindset/Gratitude/Personal Development/MindBody Connection & is based in Central Florida. She empowers mid-life women to say "Bon Voyage" to the shackles in their mind so that they can live their best life and Reclaim their Joy/ Passion. Bonnie is also a frequent international podcast guest and Summit speaker. She is a vision board expert and uniquely combines a Vision Board and the Wheel of Life - color coding the Wheel of Life. Her 5x5 Formula To A Rock Solid Day Program is 5 activities that can be done from 1-5 minutes in the morning so that your day starts off "Rock Solid", which include areas such as grounding yourself and deep breathing.
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/bonnieshardie/
Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/
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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
2
:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
3
:This is Speaking From The Heart.
4
:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 128 of Speaking from the Heart.
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:Today, we'll have Bonnie Hardie
join us, and Bonnie is a woman's
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:empowerment coach with an emphasis
on mindset, gratitude, personal
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:development, and mind body connection.
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:She's based in Central Florida, and
she empowers midlife women to say,
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:"Bon Voyage!", to the shackles in their
mind, so they can live their best life,
10
:and reclaim their joy and passion.
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:Bonnie is also a frequent international
podcast guest and summit speaker, and
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:she is a vision board expert and uniquely
combines a vision board with the real
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:life, which is color coding the wheel
of life, which involves color coding.
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:Her five by five formula to a rock solid
day program is creating five activities
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:that can be done for one to five minutes
in the morning so that your day starts off
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:rock solid, which includes areas such as
grounding yourself, and deep breathing.
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:Now, I will say that you might have some
difficulty in some parts of this episode
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:to be able to hear clearly because we
had some technical issues throughout the
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:recording, based on the location in which
she was recording at, but, nevertheless,
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:you will find that in today's episode, I
really thought I had a good understanding
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:of what Bonnie was all about, why she
does what she does, and we even talk about
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:some of these very aspects about what she
really is, but wait till the very end,
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:in which I'm not going to spoil it for
you, but there's quite a surprise about
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:her life story that, even with all the
things that I had found out about her
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:today, I actually realized that sometimes
a book should not be judged by its
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:cover, but, being able to get from that
one side to the other side so that you
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:can empower others, and to help others,
really aligns with not just what my story
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:has been all about, but I'm wondering if
for you today, my listeners, it aligns
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:with you as well, because let's face it.
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:When we get over ourselves, and we get
over the fact that not everything is what
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:it appears, I think you might be surprised
by the end result, especially when you get
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:to know others for what they truly are.
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:But with that, let's go to the episode.
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:Alright, we're here with Bonnie Hardie.
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:Bonnie, thanks for sharing
your heart with us today.
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:Bonnie: Hey Josh, thank you
very much for having me.
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:I do appreciate it and happy Thursday.
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:Joshua: Yes, happy Thursday as we're
recording it on a Thursday, so thank
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:you so much for being able to take
some time to interview with me, and
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:I've already let the audience know a
little bit about you, and I want to get
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:started with this question that I had
just reading your bio to the audience.
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:What got you into coaching
in the first place, let alone
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:women's empowerment coaching?
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:Bonnie: That's a good question, Josh.
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:I get asked that all the time, and I am
my own best client, to be honest with you.
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:I am one of those women that's
not really sure what's going on.
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:What is next for me?
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:I'm not a widower.
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:I'm not a divorcee.
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:I don't have any kids, but I'm at that
age where I'm 59 right now, and it's like,
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:what's the best way that I can help other
people and help myself, so I said, "Look.
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:Yeah, I have been through anxiety,
depression, PTSD, domestic violence,
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:deaths of family members and stuff
like that.", and had people say,
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:"You know, your feelings are silly.
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:You don't deserve this.
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:You don't deserve that."
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:I'm very anti bullying, and
I'm very pro empowerment.
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:My elevator pitch, so to speak, is
I empower midlife women to say "bon
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:voyage" to the shackles of their mind
so that they can live their best life
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:and reclaim their joy and passion.
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:You know, sometimes maybe when you
were growing up, your best friend
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:or your sibling said, "Hey, you
can't dance or you can't sing.
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:You're too loud.", and now when you're
older, you don't want to do anything
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:because of what was programmed in you so
long ago, and you know, Bonnie and Bon
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:Voyage works out pretty good to me, and
it's like, just get rid of the shackles
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:in your mind, and as long as you're
not doing anything illegal, immoral,
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:or unethical, do what you want to do,
do what makes you happy, and if other
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:people don't like that, well, I'm sorry.
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:I'm going to live the life that I want
to live, and you can come along with
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:me for the ride, or you can just stand
by and watch me and wave bye bye.
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:Joshua: Well, it makes me really
want to ask this question.
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:Have you done anything illegal, unethical,
unmoral, because if you're working
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:with people like that, you must have a
story behind one of those categories.
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:Bonnie: No, I'm pretty clean and stuff
like that, and I try to be around people
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:who are pretty clean, and I say, as long
as you're going on the straight path,
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:you should be doing what it is that you
want to do, because you just want to be
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:doing the right stuff and all that kind of
stuff, so, I'm pretty clean myself, and I
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:try to just to hang out with other people
who are cool and don't have any problems.
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:I don't need too many problems in my life.
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:Joshua: Well, hey, I just had to
check because that came to my mind
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:right away, but when you say, "have
people go on a straight path", what,
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:in your mind, what does that mean for
somebody listening, because I think we
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:all have different paths that we take
and they're not necessarily straight,
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:so how do you help people do that?
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:Bonnie: Well, you know, I talked to
them about what their passions are,
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:what their hobbies are, what do they do
that makes them happy, and if they can
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:turn that into something that makes them
money, or some type of business, that's
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:always a good thing, because money is
really important, and, you know, they
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:say you'll never work a day in your life
if you work in doing something you love.
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:What makes you happy?
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:What makes you want to get up out of
bed in the morning and go do stuff?
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:If you wakep every day and you hate
your job, you don't want to get up.
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:You're not motivated; then let's see what
you like to do that's going to make you
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:really want to just jump up out of bed and
be rocking and rolling, even if it's cold
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:out, or rainy out, or whatever, you know.
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:Joshua: Yeah.
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:You saying that made me think of a
couple of things relating to what gets
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:me out of bed; what makes me want to keep
pushing forward, and I work with both
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:men and women, so I'm kind of curious.
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:You probably are doing a lot
more with women as it relates
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:to not only the day to day.
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:I don't know if there's a particular
type of client that you work with,
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:whether that's a business sort of sense
or a personal sort of sense, but has
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:there been a common theme that you've
seen in coaching that maybe some people
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:are struggling over other things, like
maybe they're struggling with work
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:life balance; maybe they're dealing
with setting goals and achieving them.
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:What's the most common thing that you've
seen in your line of helping women?
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:Bonnie: Probably like the setting goals.
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:They kind of know that they want to do
something, but they're not really sure
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:what it is they want, or how to get there.
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:We've got a lot of different things going
on in the United States, and in the world,
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:this year, so I'm a vision board expert.
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:I do vision board workshops, so
it's like, how is:
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:How is 2022 for you?
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:How do you want your 2024 to be?
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:I came up with this little thing called
let me help you Soar in:
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:try to think about what does make you
happy, what you like to do, that will
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:get you motivated to get out and rock
the world and rock yourself, you know?
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:Joshua: How do you rock the world, Bonnie?
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:You got me really curious now.
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:Bonnie: I rock the world by trying to
empower people, trying to uplift people;
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:trying to improve people, see how
people are, and there's somebody that I
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:know that has a little bit of anxiety.
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:She sometimes gets kind of overwhelmed
at work, so I frequent her place of
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:business, so what I did a few days
ago is I gave her something else to
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:think about when she gets overwhelmed,
and starts to get a little anxious.
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:I say, " Why don't you put your mind
onto this for a little while?", and
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:she did, and she came up with a really
great idea that really helped me out,
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:so I do cognitive behavior therapy also,
so that's just kind of switching your
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:behaviors and switching your thoughts
about stuff, so I took her mind off of
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:what was going on right then that was
causing anxiety, and I put it on something
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:else, and then, afterwards, she was
like really happy that she really was
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:able to help me, so I changed her whole
world in like 10 to 15 minutes, so that
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:made me really happy too to see her.
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:A few minutes earlier, she was almost
shaking because she was getting so
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:anxious, and then she's got a big smile
on her face, and she's really happy, and
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:she's telling somebody else, "Hey, look.
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:I did this, and I'm helping Bonnie
with this project, and she's really
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:happy with what I did.", and stuff
like that, so that floats my boat.
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:That makes me happy when I see that
I've helped somebody else today.
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:Be kind to others, and you help others
out, and don't look down on other people.
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:Everybody's the same.
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:Definitely.
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:Joshua: I feel that is such a lost art.
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:I've talked to other guests that I've
had on the show about having that sort
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:of concern to when it comes to not only
addressing the mindset that we typically
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:have about that, but also overcoming that
stigma, because I think we get wrapped
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:up in those sort of thought patterns
ourselves, so when you say that you try to
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:switch people's thoughts about what they
are viewing; I mean, is that the typical
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:sort of way that you do it, given the
example that you have, or do you do other
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:ways of helping people to kind of tune
that thought out that might be bothering
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:them and going into another direction?
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:I wonder if you could share a
couple other ideas or things that
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:you've done as it relates to that.
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:Bonnie: Well, It kind of depends
on the person or situation.
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:Sometimes, I'll tell people, you know,
if you're at your job and you're getting
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:like really anxious about something, have
a code word that you can give to your
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:boss to let them know that you may need to
just go off for a couple minutes, or some
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:people, they like to squeeze stuff or they
have the fidget spinners or something.
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:Just stop, take a couple of deep breaths.
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:Just relax for 30 seconds.
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:Sometimes 30 seconds to one minute
helps tremendously, so just kind
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:of stop, take a deep breath.
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:I tell him into the nose, hold for a
couple of seconds, out through the mouth,
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:because you can kind of tell when you're
looking at them that their shoulders up
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:to their ears, and then their shoulders go
down and you can see them relax and fill
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:your lungs with air completely as much as
you can, so, it just kind of depends, and
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:I know people who do EFT tapping, so I
can do that a little bit, or I do the CBT,
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:or I just help them meditate depending on
the situation, maybe journal a few things,
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:or name a couple things they're grateful
for, and so, kind of depends on the person
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:and the situation, and what's going on.
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:I might only have 32 seconds to help
somebody, so then I have to kind of
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:figure it out real quick the best
way to help that person individually.
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:Joshua: I've heard of CPT.
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:I've actually done that with my
therapist, and I've actually had
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:on the show a therapist that kind
of walked us through some of those
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:aspects, but you said something about
EFT tapping, if I understood you.
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:Could you describe for our audience what
that is and what that process is involved?
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:Bonnie: Yeah, well it's kind of like
acupuncture but without the needles or
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:there's different points that you tap
on your head, above the eye, the side of
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:the eye, below the eye, down here on the
chin sometimes like on the shoulder you
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:know on the top of the head like that,
and it looks kind of weird sometimes,
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:but it kind of makes you more relaxed.
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:Sometimes, I'll sit here and I'll do this.
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:I don't realize that i'm tapping,
because i'm doing like this, and then
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:somebody's like, "Oh.", so sometimes
it's subconsciously that I'm doing
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:that, or like, I'll be under the
table and I'll just be like tapping my
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:arm or something like that, and that
helps relax you because what you're
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:doing when you're tapping, you're
saying like negative things, and
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:then you're saying positive things,
it's like, he's going around tapping.
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:Even though I don't have a lot
of money right now, it's okay.
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:Even though I'm not exactly where I
want to live, it's okay, and then,
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:after a couple minutes, you go,
now I am going to make more money.
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:Now I am going to be living in
a place that I want to live in.
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:Now I'm going to be doing what I
want to do with my job, so, it's
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:kind of like that because they say
you have to get rid of the negative
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:to start the positive, you know.
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:Get rid of all the junk.
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:Cleanse yourself of all
the junk in your body.
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:Cleanse yourself of all the junk in
your mind, and start all over again so
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:it's great to have different modalities.
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:Some people totally specialize in one,
and some people kind of do it right.
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:It's kind of like a doctor.
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:Your general practitioner can do a little
bit of everything, but then sometimes
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:you need the specialist that really
goes deep down with stuff, so, right
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:now, I'm a little more of a generalist,
but I am working on figuring out what
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:I want to do the most and probably the
CBT, the cognitive behavioral therapy.
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:That's probably what I'm going to work
on the most so I am really getting into
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:that and learning NLP and stuff like
that, just try to make people kind of
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:change their thoughts a little bit about
stuff, and so you say stuff to people
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:that, that makes a big difference, you
know, cause sometimes you might have to
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:say something that's kind of negative,
but you want to try to be as positive
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:as possible, so you're not always
like downgrading on people, you know.
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:Joshua: That sounds like me on
a daily basis with this podcast.
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:Maybe I should start doing
some tapping and be like, "I'm
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:going to get more listeners.
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:I am being more positive about this."
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:Bonnie: Right.
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:Joshua: And I'm kidding for my audience.
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:I already love all of you and what you've
done to support this, so, but Bonnie,
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:you started to talk about vision boards
and I want to revisit that subject
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:matter because I've exposed some of my
clients to that technique too, and I've
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:seen all kinds of different types of
ways in which you can do vision boards.
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:I was wondering if you could talk a little
bit about what a vision board is for our
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:audience, and then walk through maybe
some things that you typically do with
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:your clients when it involves that, cause
you have an interesting approach to that
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:involves colors and I thought you maybe
you could share some of that as well.
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:Bonnie: Yes.
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:Well, a vision board, it's, you can do
it online or actually physically do it.
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:You just want to kind of think about what
it is you want your future to look like
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:and you get different pictures and you get
words and put it on a big piece of paper
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:or big piece of cardboard paper, and say
you want to eat healthier so you write
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:the words "healthy eating.", and then you
could grab some pictures of salad or fish
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:or something like that, and put that on
your vision board, or like if you want to
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:take a cruise, go to that cruise website,
take off pictures of the cruise ship,
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:and the onboard activities and the island
that they're going to, put that on there.
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:If you want to just start being more
friendly or say, "I'm a friendly person.",
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:then put a picture of their you smiling,
things like that, and then put that vision
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:board on a place where you're going to
see it on a regular basis, and just when
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:you wake up, kind of look at that and
say, "This is how I want the vision for
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:my life to look like.", and you can't just
put pretty pictures up to look at every
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:day, and you're going to be on the cruise
in eight months on your birthday, right?
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:That's not going to happen.
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:You have to do things to get you to that.
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:You have to think of your why,
and this is why I want to do this.
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:I want to live in a nicer house because
maybe you grew up in a really small
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:house, and now you just want more space.
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:I want to take a cruise, cause
I've never been on a cruise before,
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:and it sounds really interesting.
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:You know, things like that, and it's
like when you're doing things on a
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:regular basis, it's what I'm doing
getting me to my future goals or not.
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:You're not going to be doing stuff
every single day for your future goals.
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:There's some days you just can't.
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:You just don't.
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:You just don't want to see.
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:You just got to sit and spin, and
not really do a whole lot, but if you
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:have future goals that you want to
reach, if you have a vision board,
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:that's something tangible you can
look at, but why do I want to do this?
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:Why do I want to do that?
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:As a coach, I tell people, I'm kind
of like a two year old sometimes.
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:I always ask them, "Why?"
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:Dig in deep.
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:"Why do you want to do this?
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:Why do you want to do that?", and
eventually, we'll peel all the layers of
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:the onions, and we'll get to exactly why
did you want to do what you want to do.
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:Joshua: Yeah, and I was wondering if you
could talk a little bit about the colors,
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:too; the wheel of colors, I should say,
because that's a little interesting.
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:Bonnie: Yeah.
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:That's the wheel of life, and it has
eight categories on it, and categories
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:like personal development, money,
friendship, and the way I do it is
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:I score it on a scale of 1 to 100,
and if you score a 20 percent or
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:below, we color that section red.
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:If you rate it 80 percent and above,
we color code that green, and if
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:you rate it between 20% and 80%, we
color code that yellow, and then you
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:can look at it and it's visual, and
you can see that, "Oh, of the eight
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:categories, four of them are red.
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:That's not good."
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:You're not rating the things very
good, but on the other hand, you
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:can look at it and say, "Hey.
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:Six of the eight are green and
two of them are yellow, so I'm
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:doing pretty good.", and stuff.
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:Nothing on that's going to ever be a
hundred percent all the time for nobody
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:at all, but you want to try to keep
it as high as possible, and that's
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:visual too, because people like, "Well.
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:How often should you do a vision board?"
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:You can do it once a year, every three
months, every six months, whatever
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:floats your boat, so to speak, and you
want to do it and then you can revisit
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:it and you can say, "Hey, I might've
ranked this 40 percent a few months
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:ago, but now it's 70%.", so you're
still in the yellow, but you ranked
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:it much higher, so that's better.
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:You know, and I ask specific questions
about each category, and then if you're
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:rating it very low, why is it low?
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:What do we need to improve, and if we're
rating it very high, why is it so high?
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:What do we need to do to stay that
high, because I don't want to go
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:from green to red in a couple months.
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:That's not a good thing, you know?
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:I've never had that happen with anybody.
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:Everybody's always improved.
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:Joshua: Do you check in with your
clients and actually ask them those
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:questions as to why that goes back?
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:Bonnie: Yes.
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:I check in, and that program right
now is just like a two to three hour
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:program where we do everything all
at once, and then we do a follow up,
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:and then there's regular follow ups
to check in and see how is it going.
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:Is there anything you might
want to change, or something not
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:ranking as well as it was before?
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:Do we need to work on something?
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:In general, how is your life going,
and if it's going bad, what do
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:I need to do to help you fix it?
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:If it's going good, what do I
need to do to help you keep it at
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:that level so you always are as
positive and as happy as you can be.
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:Joshua: You have this five by five
formula that I was wondering if you
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:could talk about a little bit too.
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:Bonnie: Yes, that's my five by five
formula to a rock solid day, and
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:that's five activities you can do in
the morning from one to five minutes
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:each to start your day off rock solid.
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:Part of my business is rock solid women's
empowerment coaching, so you hear me
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:say the words "rock solid" a lot, and my
five activities that I personally do is
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:meditate, journal, practice gratitude,
deep breathing, and grounding yourself,
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:and you can do any of these as long
as you want, as short as you want.
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:I do challenge people to, when they
do the gratitude, to name five things
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:that they're grateful for every day,
and it's got to change every day.
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:I mean, you're grateful you woke up
this morning, but you got to be grateful
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:for other things on different days.
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:In general, how did your
night go last night?
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:Did you sleep well?
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:Did you not sleep well?
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:Do you remember what your dreams are?
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:How do you feel when you wake up?
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:The deep breathing, in through the
nose, hold it out through the mouth.
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:Try to fill your lungs up.
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:Grounding yourself.
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:Go outside and stand in bare feet,
and either it's like the sand, or the
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:grass, and look up towards the sun.
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:Don't look straight at the sun.
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:I don't want you to go blind; kind of
stretch yourself out, and you reach
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:like this up to the stars, so to speak,
and when you do that, it makes you
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:feel so much better, and meditation,
just kind of sit with yourself for one
339
:or two minutes and just relax, try to
clear your mind as much as you can.
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:Try to get all the noise away from you
and just try to sit for a minute and
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:you know, how do I want my day to be
today, and what do I need to do to make
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:today, uh, a rock solid day, basically.
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:Joshua: Bonnie, the other thing that
I noticed about your bio is that you
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:have been on international podcasts.
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:You've also done some
summit speaking events.
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:I'm curious if that's helped you in
not only being a better coach to help
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:others, but how has that been able
to impact your style of coaching?
348
:Bonnie: Yes, Joshua.
349
:I do like being on different podcasts,
talking about a variety of subjects,
350
:and I have been on different summits.
351
:I usually do speak about women's
empowerment, about mindset, personal
352
:development, gratitude, and when I'm on
different summits, it's usually a whole
353
:bunch of different people that are guests
also, so I get to watch their interviews
354
:and see what type of coach they are, and
how they help their clients, and then
355
:just being on different types of podcasts
does get my name out there, and I get to
356
:spread my story about what I do and how
I help people, and I get to learn about
357
:what it is to be on the other side, cause
I may eventually start my own podcast,
358
:or at least do basic interviews with
people, so it's cool to talk to people
359
:and see how their setup is and stuff
like that and how they decide what kind
360
:of podcasts that they want to have,
what kind of topics and the setups that
361
:they do, and how they record them, and
release them, and all that kind of stuff.
362
:I know it's a lot of work in the
background and stuff like that.
363
:I just pop on to the Zoom link or
whichever link, and start talking
364
:about what I want to talk about.
365
:It's not that hard for me sometimes, but
filling out the application correctly is
366
:also extremely important because you want
to add as much value as you can to the
367
:podcast host so they will get a lot more
listeners and so they will get more people
368
:interested in listening to their podcasts.
369
:Joshua: You know, I had that thought
when I first started out, and it's
370
:funny because I recently had a buddy
of mine that helped me to get started.
371
:His name is Michael Dugan, and
Michael really emphasized with
372
:me, it isn't just about the
followers because that will come.
373
:It's about the people
that get to listen to it.
374
:They get to grow, and I feel that I
have that sincere following from people
375
:because of not just the guests that
I've had, but also the opportunity
376
:to be able to learn so much, so
what you're saying is part of it.
377
:I feel like the bigger part of it
is just being able to feel like you
378
:are being enriched by what they are
sharing with you, and what you're able
379
:to take from it, which speaking of
enrichment, you've been doing this-
380
:I actually never asked you this.
381
:How many years have you
been doing the coaching?
382
:Bonnie: Not very long; really
only about two years or so.
383
:I was a virtual assistant for a
while, and then I decided to go into
384
:coaching and I've pivoted a little bit.
385
:I was a mindset, life and gratitude
coach, and then I decided to go into
386
:women's empowerment coaching with the
emphasis on the mindset and the personal
387
:development, so it's basically kind of
the same thing, but just a little bit
388
:different of an angle, so to speak.
389
:Joshua: So same boat as me, just
recently starting out, I have my full
390
:time job myself, so we're kind of in
this together, trying to figure things
391
:out sometimes and being a business
owner, let alone trying to figure out
392
:how these bigger picture aspects work
sometimes can be a little overwhelming.
393
:I'm wondering for you, what has been
the most rewarding experience in these
394
:last two years that you've had, whether
that's with a client, whether that is with
395
:what you've achieved in your business.
396
:I'm curious because I can list a few
things that I have in just my little
397
:over a year doing this, but I always am
curious with somebody that is like minded,
398
:trying to also navigate these channels.
399
:What has it been for you?
400
:Bonnie: It's been pretty rewarding.
401
:I've been featured in a few magazines.
402
:I was featured in a local magazine
last year as one of only six women
403
:next door, and I got the print magazine
and I actually have it taped up in
404
:a coffee shop that I frequent on a
regular basis and I actually have
405
:autographed it to that coffee shop,
Panera Bread, and I was recognized by
406
:somebody in there this morning, like,
"Bonnie, is that you in that magazine?"
407
:I say, "Yeah.", so that makes me feel
really good that I'm reaching out
408
:to people and people are recognizing
me and realizing that, "Hey, she
409
:might be going through a really tough
time personally right now, but she's
410
:impressionally, she's trying to really
keep it going and rock on.", so I'm proud
411
:of myself for being able to do a lot
of different things and get my name out
412
:internationally that I can help people.
413
:Joshua: Yeah, and finding that
international recognition can be tough
414
:because I feel that the coaching world,
quote unquote, is a little saturated
415
:with these people that want to pretend
that they are, or they think that
416
:they're peddling the right message,
when really, they're not, because it
417
:might have been just from bad messaging.
418
:It might have been from things that
they thought were the right things to
419
:do, and what really irks me the most
is that I see these coaches that say,
420
:"Well, you can make 6 or 7 figures if you
follow my formula and my format.", well,
421
:no, I don't want to be just like you.
422
:I want to be my unique self, so
I'm going to pave my own path.
423
:Sure, there's a lot to learn in terms
of lessons that maybe you have along
424
:the way, but it doesn't mean that you
have all the answers, so I'm curious,
425
:are you one of those people that wants
to be a six, seven figure coach and then
426
:trying to figure out what that means
by following someone else's footsteps?
427
:I feel like you are paving your
own path from what you tell me.
428
:Bonnie: No, I tell people all the time.
429
:I always get people say, "Join
my $50,000 a year program.
430
:I'll get you this much.", and I am more
service over selling, and I understand
431
:that money is important because we all
need money for stuff; however, if people
432
:approach me initially, just talking
about how much money they can help me
433
:get to, or how much money they're making,
that kind of to a point turns me off.
434
:Joshua: Yeah.
435
:Bonnie: Everybody's different.
436
:Some people like the lavish things,
and I don't need anything real fancy.
437
:I just need a comfortable bed to sleep in.
438
:My own private bathroom to use;
WiFi, refrigerator, microwave and
439
:a desk, and that's all I need.
440
:I don't need anything real fancy and I'm
just kind of plain, and I know people
441
:that have a lot of money, and I don't
get jealous at all about that, because
442
:they are busting their butt to get their
money, and they can spend it on whatever
443
:they want, and eventually I'm going to
be able to be in the space for making
444
:enough money to be able to do more
things, but I'm never going to be one
445
:of those people that it would be nice
to be able to fly first class, you know.
446
:Joshua: Treat yourself a
little bit from time to time.
447
:Yeah.
448
:Bonnie: Yeah.
449
:I mean, I got to be able to treat
myself, but if I'm paying $1,000 a
450
:night for a hotel room, boy, somebody
better be reading me a bedtime story,
451
:better put a chocolate on my bed,
better give me a stuffed animal to
452
:sleep with, and all that kind of stuff.
453
:Joshua: Yeah.
454
:Bonnie: That kind of
money and stuff, you know?
455
:Joshua: Well, yeah.
456
:Bonnie: Give me a bathroom to
sleep in and stuff, you know?
457
:Joshua: Yeah.
458
:I don't know about them tucking me into
my own hotel bed, but a lot of the things
459
:that you said sound appealing in itself.
460
:Bonnie: Yeah.
461
:Yeah.
462
:Joshua: Bonnie, we're pretty much at the
end of time, but before we ask you to give
463
:a little bit of a pitch about yourself if
people want to reach out to you, I have
464
:this final question and it is about what
you just said, is that you said it's about
465
:service over selling, so what is it that
you want to leave my listeners with today
466
:when it relates to being able to provide
a service to others, because I feel like
467
:in this world, we often forget that it
isn't always about necessarily making
468
:that quick buck, but it's about being able
to pave it with good intentions forward,
469
:but not to jade what you're about to say.
470
:I feel like that's sort of my
mantra, so what's your mantra
471
:with that as we close out?
472
:Bonnie: You know, just serve people
to the best of your ability, and try
473
:to help them out as much as you can.
474
:It's like a ripple effect.
475
:If I help 10 people, who help 10 people,
who help 10 people, I can only do so
476
:much with one person, but I can get the
word out about how I help people, and I
477
:want people to be motivated and inspired
by me, because the truth of the matter
478
:right now, Joshua, is I am homeless, and
I've been homeless for almost two years,
479
:and I am still doing all of these things
while being homeless, so my question to
480
:a lot of people is, what is your excuse?
481
:When I'm sleeping on concrete every
single night and I've got osteoarthritis
482
:in my knees, and I can barely walk
half the time anyway, and then that's
483
:causing even more problems, so I'm
not getting a lot of sleep at night.
484
:I'm always exhausted.
485
:I'm not really eating properly because
I have a microwave at my disposal
486
:I can use during the daytime at
the coffee shop, but there's only
487
:so many things I can put in there.
488
:I can't be putting popcorn in there
and making the place smell like popcorn
489
:the rest of the day and stuff like
that, but look, I've got a whole lot
490
:of things going against me like we
talked earlier, I've been bullied.
491
:I've dealt with new
death of family members.
492
:I've dealt with domestic violence.
493
:I've dealt with anxiety, depression,
PTSD, and add on top of that, being
494
:homeless, and then on top of that, being
hungry all the time, and being exhausted
495
:all the time, and being this, that,
and the other all the time, but I still
496
:get up, very early in the morning, and
spend my days helping other people as
497
:much as I can, setting up podcasts like
this, setting up summits, setting up
498
:this, that, and the other, and I could
be the one sitting in the corner crying,
499
:but is that going to do me any good?
500
:If you're going to be a Debbie Downer
all the time, people aren't going to
501
:want to hang out with you, so that's why
I strive to help other people, because
502
:I don't want people to feel like me.
503
:I don't want people to feel like
they're invisible and nobody
504
:gives a crap about them, and, "Oh.
505
:You're homeless.
506
:You deserve to be homeless.
507
:Why don't you get a job?
508
:Why don't you do this?
509
:Why don't you do that?"
510
:Why don't you be in my position
and see it's a vicious cycle
511
:with a lot of different things.
512
:I found out last week that my bank
account got closed down because I don't
513
:have a actual address that I live at.
514
:I have a box at a UPS store
and then it's like, "Okay.
515
:Well, if I had a hotel to stay in for
a while, I can use that address, but
516
:I need the money that was in the bank
account to pay for the hotel to get
517
:the address to get this, to get that.",
so I'm like, okay, let's just try to
518
:figure something out, so I ended up.
519
:Deciding to have a PayPal fundraiser that
for one week, just try to get some money
520
:so I can at least get a roof over my head
for at least a couple of days, a couple
521
:of weeks, so I can have some privacy so
I can have some nice and quiet time so
522
:I can be able to sleep undisturbed in a
nice bed and not sleep on the concrete.
523
:I hate to ask people for money, but
it's like at this point, all these
524
:different things going on, I have
to do something, so it's like, "Hey.
525
:I am homeless, but I still try to do the
best I can under my conditions.", and when
526
:other people kind of say, "Oh, I didn't
get out of sleep last night because my
527
:dog kept barking.", it's like, I don't get
sleep because I am sleeping on concrete.
528
:B, there's lights going on all the time.
529
:C, there's a hospital a half a
mile away, so five or six times
530
:a night, the sirens going by.
531
:I don't know what your excuse
is, but you do that one night.
532
:I do this every single night, and
I'm really trying hard to get out of
533
:being homeless because honestly, the
February 21st will be two years and
534
:I'm homeless, and my mom's birthday
is February 20th, and I want to give
535
:my mom a really cool birthday present.
536
:I have a place to stay and I've been
able to, here and there, get a hotel,
537
:to get an Airbnb, or get a hostel
for a little while, but if I could
538
:get a place for like at least a month
where I have total privacy, can do
539
:what I want, get plenty of sleep.
540
:How many things do you
think I can really do?
541
:I could totally explode
myself and my business.
542
:I just need to have the money to
get the roof over their head to get
543
:the business going, but the business
needs to be making the money to get
544
:through, so it's like I said, I don't
know where the top part is or what
545
:the bottom part is for that, you know?
546
:Joshua: Wow.
547
:I had no idea when we set this up, or even
talked, that you have been experiencing
548
:that for two years, so first off, kudos
to you to have a mindset like yours.
549
:That's rock solid in itself, so
definitely bon voyage to anybody else
550
:that says that they have it tough.
551
:I mean, I feel that I'm humbled by what
you said because after this, I'm going to
552
:hang up my headphones, and I can go home
to a warm place, and you don't have that
553
:right now, and that makes me feel sad,
but at the same time, what warms my heart
554
:is that you're not beaten down by this.
555
:You are so much stronger because of
just wanting to keep pushing forward,
556
:and for those that ever thought
that it's about, "Oh, well, she just
557
:needs to try more.", or, "She just
needs to do a little bit better."
558
:That isn't what this has been about,
and for many people, homelessness
559
:isn't because of something
that is going on in their life.
560
:It might be going on in their life,
but that isn't the sole cause of it.
561
:It's all kinds of other things.
562
:Bonnie: Right.
563
:Joshua: But you inspire me, Bonnie-
564
:Bonnie: Thank you.
565
:Joshua: For wanting to push forward.
566
:You really do.
567
:I really mean that, and you open my eyes
to why this is important for me to have
568
:people like you on the show, to be able
to share your story, and to also know
569
:that there is hope, so, with that said,
I want to give you the last few minutes.
570
:If anybody's interested in contacting
you, maybe they even want to help you out.
571
:I would love to give you that opportunity
to pitch to my audience anybody that
572
:is willing to help you, what they
would be able to do to be able to
573
:accomplish that, so I'll give you those
these last few minutes to do that.
574
:Bonnie: Well, you know, really what
I need the most, I have my different
575
:programs and working on getting a
website so everything is all in one spot.
576
:If somebody is interested in having me
on their podcast or join their summit,
577
:they can contact me, and if they just
want to send me a private message saying,
578
:"Hey, I heard you on Josh's podcast,
and before I was feeling this way, and
579
:then after listening to you talk after
that 45 minutes to an hour, this is
580
:how I was feeling.", that's going to be
something that's going to make me feel
581
:really good because I know that I'm
connecting with people with my story with
582
:what goes on, and I'm going to write a
book eventually, and it's going to be
583
:called the Rock Bottom To Rock Solid.
584
:I am at rock bottom now, but I'm going
to be a rock solid pretty soon, and I
585
:remember who was there for me when I was
down, and I'm going to remember who's
586
:going to be there for me when I'm up,
and just because somebody isn't doing as
587
:good as you right now doesn't make them
a bad person, and anybody can be in this
588
:position at any time, and it's not too
easy as long as you just go get a job.
589
:I have such bad knees that I was told
I may need to have both knees replaced
590
:by the time I'm 60, and that's August
of this year, so that's a vicious cycle
591
:with that too, and there's help a little
bit here and there, but there's not
592
:that much, and people keep thinking
there's a lot of stuff that's helpful.
593
:There's not, and don't you think I know
it goes on in the state that I've lived
594
:in for 50 plus years, and in the county
that I've lived in for over 10 years?
595
:I know where help is, and I've done as
much as I can, and sometimes you fill out
596
:applications for certain things, and it
takes them six months to get back to you.
597
:That's nothing I can do.
598
:I've done everything I can do.
599
:Now I'm waiting on other people to do
stuff, but I'm not going to sit in a
600
:corner and wait for somebody to say, "Hey.
601
:We're going to give you disability.
602
:We're going to give you social security.
603
:We're going to give you
free knee replacements."
604
:I'm not waiting for that.
605
:I'm doing my own stuff, and when I
get those phone calls, we get those
606
:emails saying, "We're going to schedule
you for something like this.", or,
607
:"We're going to start giving you this
amount of money.", then that's fine.
608
:I'm trying to do it all on my own and
just have people sign up for my programs.
609
:I hope that when this comes
out, I'm in a much better spot.
610
:Well, we'll see about that, but all
I'm asking for is for respect, and
611
:just the understanding and don't be
looking down on me because I'm homeless.
612
:It doesn't define me.
613
:That's just my situation, and if you
ever get in this situation, I guarantee
614
:you'll be calling me and saying, "Bonnie.
615
:Oh my God, I'm homeless.
616
:What do I do?", and I don't really want
to be that person that has to help a lot
617
:of other people that are in this position.
618
:I don't want to see anybody be homeless.
619
:There's very few people that deserve
this, and even if I was a drug addict,
620
:or even if I was an alcoholic, which
I'm not, I'm still somebody's sister.
621
:I'm still somebody's daughter.
622
:I'm still somebody's aunt, and
I'm still somebody's great aunt.
623
:How would you want your sister,
your brother, your whomever, treated
624
:bad because they're homeless?
625
:Would you want somebody to treat you like
that or somebody you love like that, so
626
:put the shoe on the other foot, and just
don't stick your nose up in the air,
627
:thinking you're greater than everybody
else, because when we die, our coffin is
628
:the exact same size, unless you're a real
big person, then you're going to have
629
:a bigger coffin, and that's about it.
630
:You're not going to be buried in this
big old house you have, or this really
631
:nice car and stuff like that, you know.
632
:Joshua: You have all my respect, and you
have the respect of my listeners, because
633
:everything that I've ever wanted to
start this show about was about the fact
634
:that I want people to feel like they're
respected, so there's no disrespect here,
635
:and as a matter of fact, it gives me even
more respect for the fact that you have an
636
:experience that I cannot hold a candle to.
637
:I have never experienced
homelessness, and I hope that I don't.
638
:I've come close, and I don't even tell
some of my close friends this, but I
639
:have come very close to losing it all
because of some of the things that I've
640
:been, but for some reason, for some other
part of what's been going on, I don't
641
:know why, but sometimes it just always
works out, but it means the same thing
642
:for you is that there is a time, there
is a place, it will work out for you,
643
:and for all those reasons, Bonnie, thank
you for being on Speaking From The Heart.
644
:Thank you for not only being a
coach to others, but also being
645
:a coach to me because I certainly
learned something from you today.
646
:Bonnie: Thanks a lot, Josh.
647
:I really do appreciate being on Speaking
From The Heart, and I really did speak
648
:from the heart, so I hope that when people
listen to this, they are inspired and
649
:motivated by me, and by you, and they
go out and just do what they want to do,
650
:and don't be chained by the shackles in
your mind from what happened in the past.
651
:Say, "Bon Voyage!"
652
:to all those shackles in your mind.
653
:Joshua: Bon voyage to a lot of
those different things, for sure.
654
:Thank you again, Bonnie.
655
:Bonnie: All right.
656
:Thank you, Josh.
657
:Joshua: I want to thank Bonnie for being
part of the show, but more importantly,
658
:sharing the fact that she has been
through so much to get to where she is,
659
:especially right at the end of her story,
which was quite a shocker to me, even
660
:when I was interviewing because I had
no idea about this, nor did she ever say
661
:anything until the very end, but I don't
think it was saying it, more than it
662
:was about actually admitting that maybe
there is some other things that really
663
:motivate her to keep pushing forward.
664
:Let's face it.
665
:We all have different motivations in
which we are able to work with others
666
:based on what we have as a background, but
Bonnie's story in itself, once I realized
667
:this towards the end of this interview,
it made me put in perspective why it's
668
:so important to help others, even with
having that pro-type attitude that we
669
:talked about, so how do we create that
engagement within us to address that?
670
:How can we even move others to be able to
do that so that they can walk a straight
671
:line, as opposed to a wavy, crooked
line that sometimes life throws at us?
672
:Now, I'm not saying either that being
able to walk through those lines,
673
:or even walk through those difficult
journeys means that you should be taking
674
:a break, or even letting that even pass
by for that matter, because sometimes
675
:walking that wavy line can help us grow.
676
:It allows us to stretch outside the
straight line that we've always walked
677
:on, but if we really want to remain
focused on some of the things that help
678
:us to move that needle forward, or move
that goal forward for that matter, we
679
:have to look at how those wavy lines
and even those straight lines all align.
680
:Straight lines sometimes in themselves
need to be available so that we can
681
:keep on seeing that path that is right
in front of us., Although sometimes
682
:the fog, or even the light that even
illuminates it, prevents us from
683
:being able to really see that as well.
684
:What can we do to set goals?
685
:What can we do to be able to move
some of those aspects forward?
686
:How do we rock the world by switching
our thoughts, and our feelings,
687
:and our emotions of what's involved
into a more positive mindset?
688
:Well, I think that Bonnie
shared a lot of that today.
689
:It's just about really looking at
it from a different perspective.
690
:It doesn't mean, though,
that you lose sight of it.
691
:It doesn't mean that you keep thinking
that nothing's going to ever change.
692
:It means actually looking at what
things are happening with your mindset.
693
:Are you grateful for the
things that are involved?
694
:Are you happy with the personal
development that you've been channeling?
695
:More importantly, is there a connection
between not just your mind, but your
696
:body as well, in order for you to
understand the mere importance of not
697
:just your body, learning how to evolve
not just expanding your thought process
698
:not just changing your mindset, but more
importantly, how are you going to be
699
:able to get from one point to the other?
700
:How can we switch that thought?
701
:How can we turn on that light switch,
or even flip off a light switch for
702
:that matter, of those codes that
our body is shooting towards us,
703
:whether it's stress or an anxiety that
tingles throughout our arms and legs?
704
:How can we relax, provide various forms
of engagement, whether that's through
705
:tapping or breathing or growing in
areas that normally you don't feel
706
:like you should be involved in, but yet
you need to be involved in so that you
707
:can continue to move in that direction
that you always wanted to go in.
708
:Let's be real.
709
:Vision boards, which is something
that I even use in some of my coaching
710
:practices, really involve not just looking
at cut out pictures of magazines, or
711
:even some of the items that are laying
around your house as even Bonnie's
712
:talked about, but it's really describing
what you want to create in your life.
713
:What do you want to achieve as
that ultimate vision of yourself?
714
:Clients that I have do this exercise
really help to not only learn more about
715
:what they have inside themselves that
is really dormant, or oftentimes not
716
:thought about, but it creates a vision
for what it is to be the real person,
717
:their first name and last name included,
but yet, you have to understand, for
718
:some people that are willing to do this,
it means actually staying committed
719
:towards the end goal, regardless
of what you might face, and that is
720
:really the biggest challenge in itself.
721
:When we look at personal development,
when we look at life in general,
722
:how many times does it need to be
done before it actually gets done?
723
:That ultimate goal that we wanted
to achieve; why do we have to
724
:do all these extra small things
that are involved with it?
725
:More importantly, what can
we do to just overcome?
726
:Why can't we always just be on that
straight path, instead of walking
727
:all over the place in wavy lines?
728
:That's easier said than done, but yet,
at the same time, that's why we have
729
:exercises like meditation, yoga, getting
yourself away from the environment
730
:that you're in that is oftentimes not
allowing you to unlock that creativity.
731
:Just changing your scenery can make all
the difference, but to be able to fit into
732
:this other side, this other opportunity
that we have inside of ourselves means
733
:that we have to talk about what we need
to talk about, whether we're facing
734
:that with a coach that is completely
impartial to it, or it's something
735
:else, but you have to be able to have
the bare essentials to be able to do
736
:so, and sometimes, the people that you
think are really having it all together,
737
:oftentimes lack the bare essentials.
738
:It's so uncanny.
739
:Somebody like this incredible woman
who's homeless, who has been fighting
740
:her way through life, no matter
what struggles there have been,
741
:has been able to even help others.
742
:Now if that isn't a heart of gold, and
that isn't anybody that you ever thought
743
:of in your life that maybe hasn't been
able to be there for you regardless
744
:of what you've tried to do to get them
involved, I think that you need to talk
745
:to this lady and see what she's all about,
because she puts service over selling.
746
:She gets where she needs to go,
even with the rock bottom, rock
747
:solid philosophy that she has.
748
:She has to keep pushing herself forward
no matter what struggles may lie ahead.
749
:I
750
:mentioned earlier about how this episode
was a little bit of a technical struggle.
751
:Matter of fact, Bonnie recorded this
at a library where she was able to
752
:get free Wi Fi access; be able to
have access to a computer to be able
753
:to even do this, because she relies
more on a cell phone to do everything
754
:that she ever needs to do in her life.
755
:Because that's all she
really has at the moment.
756
:Now, if you're interested in reaching
out and contacting her, feel free!
757
:Her information's in the episode
notes, so you can do that.
758
:I'm sure she'd be grateful for the
donations that you would give her, so
759
:that she could get back on her feet,
but that's really what this is about.
760
:Community.
761
:Building that.
762
:Growing that.
763
:Investing in it, and no matter what way
you might look at it, even if you have
764
:a five by five formula, or you have a
joy for the world in which you want to
765
:live in, in a completely different way,
just remember that there are people that
766
:don't even have the bare essentials,
let alone even free Wi-Fi for that
767
:matter, to be able to access some of
the vast resources that, even across
768
:the world, many people don't even get
the chance or the opportunity to enjoy
769
:because of their socioeconomic status.
770
:You know, on this show, I've always
believed that everybody has a voice,
771
:but this really takes a whole new level
of responsibility today in what I have
772
:said, and what I've even interviewed with
Bonnie, being a coach herself, which, even
773
:with all that said, I don't have pity.
774
:More so, I have hope for her.
775
:I have opportunity that I see in her.
776
:I believe in everything that she is able
to do because of her perspective, and
777
:as I've always said about my coaches
on this show, it's about what we bring
778
:as a different perspective based on our
life, personal, business, professional
779
:experiences, regardless of what it is.
780
:Bonnie has a leg up on me when
it comes to having that plight
781
:of homelessness for that matter.
782
:The next time that you feel that
you have to shake the core of your
783
:world in order to get to a different
direction, ask yourself if it's really
784
:shaking it to the very foundation.
785
:If it's really testing your faith, your
limited ability to be able to grow in
786
:vast different ways, because if you could
switch our feelings and our thoughts
787
:into something that we could really
be negative about, but yet change our
788
:thoughts to be more positive, to be more
encouraging, to be more thoughtful about
789
:the ways in which we're helping others.
790
:If we can be more pro about what we
are able to do, imagine what we can do
791
:for others, just like my guest today.
792
:There's been a lot of things that I
have been through in my life, but I
793
:have to say homelessness is one of the
biggest struggles in this community
794
:that not only I live in here in South
Central PA, but I know across the United
795
:States for that matter, and it's only
grown worse as time has gone on, so
796
:I have these words of encouragement
for those that are out there.
797
:First off, there are a lot
of resources available.
798
:If you're not sure where to turn to, reach
out to me: podcast@yourspeakingvoice.biz.
799
:I don't care where you live.
800
:We'll figure it out.
801
:I'll put you in the right connection, I'll
put you in the right place, especially
802
:with all the numerous people that I have
been able to meet, not just because of
803
:Speaking From The Heart, but because of
my business, Your Speaking Voice LLC.
804
:That's number one.
805
:Number two: If somebody like Bonnie
can have such a positive mindset and
806
:be able to help others, no matter
what she has going on in her life,
807
:that means that there is hope for you,
and that no matter what circumstances
808
:have put you there in the first place,
even if it's your own mental health.
809
:Know that there's always excellent
opportunities for you, and there are
810
:ways that we can get you involved, right
back from square one, but my final thing
811
:that I want to say to you is that no
matter what way you look at it, no matter
812
:which way it might be where you might
be despondent because of how people have
813
:ridiculed you, or put you down, or it
might have been something else completely
814
:different, whether it's related to a
job loss, medical issues, or something
815
:else, just know that there are some
good people in this world, and they're
816
:willing to help you no matter what.
817
:They'll figure out a way, even if they
can't do it themselves, because no
818
:matter how many times it takes to get it
done, it's about the chance that you can
819
:overcome it that really matters the most,
so no matter if you're homeless or not,
820
:I want you to know that you are the hope.
821
:You are the world for some of these people
that need it the most, and you might
822
:have some valuable resources, which for
others, might be just the bare essentials
823
:they need to keep moving forward.
824
:Thanks for listening to episode
number 128 of Speaking From the
825
:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart, very soon.
826
:Outro: Thanks for listening.
827
:For more information about our podcast
and future shows, search for Speaking From
828
:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
wherever you listen to your podcasts.
829
:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
for more information about potential
830
:services that can help you create
the best version of yourself.
831
:See you next time.
