Episode #146 - Why Serving Others Matter: An Interview With Leah Parker

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 146 of Speaking from the Heart.

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Today's guest is Leah Parker,

and Leah is a licensed therapist,

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veteran, and recovering perfectionist

who has a passion for supporting

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trauma survivors, reconnecting

to their body, heart, and worth.

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This is to help them develop deep

connections and healthy relationships

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once again, and I love that our

relationship with this episode starts

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from not only the fact that she has

been a United States veteran, but she

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has been going through some of the

biggest challenges of her life, going

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from not only re-enlisting in the armed

forces, which we talk about, but also

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what it means to set goals, help others,

while at the same time being a leader.

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You have to figure that this hard work,

the things that you have to do, allow

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us to understand that we need to gain

a sense of independence, feeling that

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we belong; not feeling like we have all

these bad things always happening to

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us, and of course, looking beyond what's

on the surface, even what's on a paper

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for that matter, because let's face it.

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When you do talk to someone, and you

do deal with them on a daily basis,

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you start to understand them a little

bit better, so how do you overcome some

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of the societal tensions, the cultural

norms, even the things that we have

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to push ourselves through, in order to

have a greater connection with everyone?

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I think that you'll find that Leah's

story today touches on not just all these

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things, but it also connects with why

we need to have a proven identity, an

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understanding of what we are and aligning

with that identity no matter what anybody

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challenges us to feel, to even have as

questionable motives or opportunities in

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our life, because if you think about it,

we are one unique person, and I think

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that you'll find that Leah's unique

story fits all that and so much more.

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But with that, let's go to the episode.

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All right.

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We're here with Leah Parker.

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Leah, thanks for sharing

your heart with us today.

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Leah: Oh, absolutely.

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Thanks for providing the space.

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Joshua: Absolutely.

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I'm appreciative of you providing a

bigger space because you are one of

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my veterans on the show, and I just

want to acknowledge right away for

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the fact that you served in the Marine

Corps, so thank you very much on the

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bottom of my heart for the service

that you provide to our country.

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Leah: I appreciate that.

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Joshua: Absolutely, and I think that's

a great segue to start off with our

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conversation because I've already let I

already let the audience know, Leah, a

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little bit about you and your background.

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First off, what got you actually

interested in serving in the military,

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and then after you did your military

stint, what made you decide to enter

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the space that you're in right now?

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Leah: Hmmm.

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That's going to make for

an interesting story.

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I think like a lot of our military folks;

they say there's like two type of people.

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There's the type of people who are

running away from something that

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joined the military, and then there's

those that are patriotic, and there's

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not a lot of- I mean, sorry to

burst your bubble, but I came from a

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pretty tumultuous kind of childhood.

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I mean, there was a lot of presence,

but there was a lot of valleys too.

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There was some addiction,

domestic violence stuff.

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We lived in a not great part of that city

for a lot of the time, so there was like

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gang violence and stuff as well, and there

was this sense of this is not it for me.

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I wanted to get out of

there as fast as I could.

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I was looking for any avenue to do

that and recruiters, they love to visit

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high schools and it's almost like they

can sense you from a mile away, and I

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was approached by a Marine recruiter.

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I chose the Marine Corps because he

looked the best in uniform, to be honest.

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He looked sharp and I was like,

"If I'm going to do this, I want

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to be like that person.", right?

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He's squared away.

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He's sharp.

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He's well spoken.

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He was emulating just kind of that aura,

that confidence that I was wanting to

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step into, and then there was another side

of it that I was like, "If I'm going to

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be in the military-", this is my little

cocky little 17 year old self, right?

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" I want to do the hard one."

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Like, why am I going to sugarcoat

it, or scapegoat around it?

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Let me go ahead and do the one that

people say that you can't do or whatever.

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I joined the Marine Corps to pretty much

escape family and just gain a sense of

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independence, and I didn't know it at

the time, but another thing that really

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attracted me to the Marine Corps that

in hindsight I can see is with him being

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so squared away, what that was telling

me is there's a lot of structure here,

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and I came from an environment with no

structure, and I knew I needed that.

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Not on a cognitive level, but

on that unconscious level.

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I knew I needed boundaries.

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I knew I needed to structure my

life, so I did about 10 years in

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the Marine Corps; just shy of 10,

and through that, there was lots of

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ups and downs in that experience.

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There's a lot of really good things that

I took away from it, and there's some

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not so great things that I took away, and

that's okay, but the part of the Marine

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Corps that I liked was the leadership.

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I liked being a leader.

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I liked sitting down with my Marines.

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I liked getting to know them.

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I liked helping them create

goals for themselves.

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I liked watching them surpass me.

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I was not that disgruntled person.

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If I had a younger Marine

get promoted above me, I was

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sitting and I was like, "Yes!

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You are doing something right."

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and so I was like, "Oh.

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There is something here.

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I didn't like."

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The FF games that the Marine Corps played.

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I didn't like that side of it, but

there was something to that piece of it.

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I didn't know what that would

look like when I got out.

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I got out and I think like probably most

veterans, or just anybody that makes a

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big transition, a big career transition,

but maybe military or law enforcement or

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things like that, a little bit more is

there is this identity ,crisis that we

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go through, and I got out and I spiraled,

because I had to sit with the question,

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"Well, if I'm not a Marine, who am I?"

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Joshua: Wow.

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Leah: And that was hard, right?

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When you go from 17 to your twenties,

identifying as this thing above all else.

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When that's ripped away from

you, it's hard to grapple with.

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It's hard to reckon with, so I turned

to some self numbing activities.

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There was a period of depression in there,

and I started to finally see a counselor

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for the first time, and then that kind of

sparked this trajectory of where I am now.

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They were really helpful.

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I learned a lot.

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I grew a lot, and I was like, "This is

what I want to be for other people."

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I want to be a light.

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This is that mentorship that

I gravitated to so much.

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This is the part of the

experience that I enjoyed, and

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then I started down that path.

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Joshua: You mentioned about identity

crisis and for many veterans that I have

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talked to on the show, I think of David

Specht who's one of my guests that I've

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had many, many episodes ago, where he

kind of shared how that shaped him into

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getting into the journalism field and

helping him become a better leader because

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of helping his family, being able to

achieve some of those greatness items.

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You're sharing a little bit of an

opposite story of that, and I noticed

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that a lot of the things that you have

mentioned even on your website about

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yourself is the concept of anger.

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Did that have anything to do with

why it was such an adjustment

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period for you after the military?

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I've had some family members that

have served in the military myself.

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I have never served in the military,

but I know of some others that have had

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that sort of struggle readjusting back

to civilian life, and I'm wondering if

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that has any contribution to what you've

been through, and I'm wondering if you

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can share a little bit about that too.

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Leah: Hmm.

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That's a good point that

you picked that out.

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I was angry.

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I felt betrayed in a lot of ways.

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You know, the military, they hook

you in with this sense of family.

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" We're your brothers.

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We're your sisters.

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We have your back.

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There's this camaraderie.

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We got you.", "You never

leave marine behind.

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We got you.", but when you're in

there, that's for sure not the case.

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You find that these people that

you look to that you respect,

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they're the ones that hurt you.

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They turn their back on you, and

it was a really painful process,

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because a lot of people may not

be aware, and I'll share it here.

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Part of it was I wanted to get out,

but I did submit for re-enlistment,

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thinking, "You know what?

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If they say yes, what's

the worst that can happen?

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I retire in 10 years.", and

they said no, and that stung.

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Joshua: Wow.

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Leah: That really hurt, and so there

was a lot of anger there of this,"

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woe is me", kind of self pity place,

or this other criticism place of,

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"I gave you 10 years of my life.

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I gave you the best years of my life.

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You got all my 20s, and this

is that thanks that I get?"

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and they didn't even give me the full

severance pay, so that was just like icing

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on the cake of my F y'all, and so a lot

of it was stripping away the parts of my

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identity that were formed, encapsulated

to be that essence of a Marine that really

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never fit me anyway, and I think I needed

some of that anger to really let go of a

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lot of those pieces, if that makes sense.

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Joshua: It does, and I can relate to you.

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I didn't really share this with

you, but my listeners know that I

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have been trained in Toastmasters.

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Toastmasters is a non profit that works

on communication, leadership development,

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and I was given the opportunity to

lead several hundred clubs at one time

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because of working through the process.

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I couldn't do it because that was the

time, Leah, that I actually tried to

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hurt myself, and I wasn't really in a

healthy state to be helping other people

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if I needed the help the most, so a few

years later, I tried to go through that

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process and I felt like I was shunned,

and now I know some people listening to

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this know exactly what I'm talking about,

and they're probably already raging in

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anger, like, "Why would you bring that up,

Josh?", because that left a big impression

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in my life when I was going back and

trying again, and I was rejected too,

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so I can relate to that feeling because

you feel like you've been separated out,

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even after you tried to put in the hard

work, but I learned a valuable lesson even

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myself, and I feel like you are trying to

do the same in that maybe that had a place

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in time, but those signs are oftentimes

the ability for us to move in a different

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direction and serve in the greater

capacities that we are able to do, which

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I will contribute that decision of failure

in my life that ultimately led to starting

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my own coaching business, Your Speaking

Voice, hence the reason being able to do

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this podcast, so I think that you started

Omi Counseling as a result of not only

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trying to do this, but also build some

of these other facets of your life out.

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Would that be fair to say?

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Leah: Oh, a hundred percent.

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It was a blessing in

disguise by all the means.

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I wouldn't been able to

heal in the Marine Corps.

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I know that there was too much.

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Too much of it requires you to be a little

broken, and I hate to say that, but people

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who've been there will understand what

I mean by that, and so having enough

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separation from it allowed me to come into

my authentic self, and heal parts of me

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that would have never had the space to

heal in that environment, so I 100 percent

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would not be the person I am today, the

mother I am today, the wife I am today,

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the sister I am today, the daughter I

am today, the counselor, the coach, if I

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hadn't had that, quote unquote, rejection.

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Joshua: Were you rejected, though, in

the military itself, because you were

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saying a little bit earlier about not

just the re-enlistment, and the rejection

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of that, but it sounded to me like

you almost didn't fit in, because the

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culture that you were told it was going

to be was not the culture that it was

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in reality sense, so for me, before you

even answer that, hearing what you're

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saying, and you also helping others before

you even got into the counseling world,

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quote unquote, you were a counselor.

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Do you think that might have helped you

with having that sort of atmosphere build

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your perseverance to want to help others?

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Leah: In a sense, I mean, I was a mentor.

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One of the things that I do keep with me

that the military taught me was how to be

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a good leader and how to be a good mentor.

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They teach you a lot of principles

and values that are necessary, and

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so all of that followed me, yes,

but there was a- I'll just say it.

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There's no other way to say it than to

just call it out, but to be a woman in the

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Marine Corps is a very hard thing to do.

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We are such a small subgroup of people.

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We are in a man's world.

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It's still very much a man's world.

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There's still a lot of, at least

when I was in, now that's been about

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10 years now, the older leadership.

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You could tell the ones that really

still didn't think we should be there,

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and even to the other Marines, you

were either seen as a potential sexual

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object, or you were cold, and there

wasn't a lot of room just to be.

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They were quick to label us.

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They have lots of nasty names for female

Marines that objectify us and put us

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out there to be something that we're

not, and even if you don't fit in their

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particular idea of what women are, that

doesn't keep them from spreading rumors.

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It doesn't keep them from

talking about you, so it doesn't

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keep them from harassing you.

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It doesn't stop any of that,

and so I thought I was naive.

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I grew up with mostly sisters.

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I didn't have a lot of brothers and

I thought I was getting brothers, but

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I got a lot of predators and not all.

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I met some really good guys along

the way that I would still consider

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them friends, and I appreciate the

connections we made, and the relationships

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we had during my time in the Marine

Corps, but a lot of it wasn't that.

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Joshua: You know.

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First off, that's the most open that

I've ever heard anybody explain the

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situation being a female in a male

dominated military world, and I have

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to be very careful myself because for

my listeners, they know I'm a male.

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I mean, you can tell I'm a male too,

and you're a female, and I got to be

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very careful walking this line myself

because I believe in everybody having

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the equal opportunity to be able to

become the best versions of themselves.

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I really believe in that so much so that

I've built my business around the fact

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that coaching others to find that voice in

this ever changing world is so important.

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You are the epiphany of wanting to

change people in this ever changing

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world because you're living the mission

that I'm really setting out to do, Leah,

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because you saying what these things

are, are so important, and for you to not

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feel like you were acknowledged in that,

that makes me feel sad; be honest with

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you just listening to this, because here

I am talking to somebody that is very

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intelligent, eloquent, has much education.

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I mean, I'm looking at your

website and I'm just wowed.

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You can probably look behind me because

for my listeners, we were able to see

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each other, although you're only hearing

the audio, but you see that I have many

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degrees behind even me, for that matter,

that I've been able to achieve throughout

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my lifetime, but I never really stopped

to think sometimes about what it might

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mean to struggle through some of the

things that women have to go through,

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and I am not saying that I am sorry,

because that's what's defined you, and

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I'm not the one that did it either, if

it's all these other people, but, at

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the same time, I feel that you are much

stronger of a person than I am, and for

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that reason, I think it's so important to

acknowledge this one question that I have

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for you that I think is really important.

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Do you think that, if it wasn't for

those experiences, especially with

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going through school and going through

the military, do you have any regrets?

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Do you have any sort of feeling

of, "I should have never had to go

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through this in the first place?",

because, to me, I don't know.

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Maybe I'm leading you in this

question, and I might be, but, I

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feel like you have such a strong

skill set that goes beyond that.

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You're able to talk to people

that you can relate to so

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much better than I ever could.

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Leah: Yeah, so early in my healing

journey, I very much was in that place.

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"Why me?"

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"Why did bad things seem to happen to me?"

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"When am I going to learn the lesson?

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Whoever you are out there, I

think I've learned the lesson."

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We don't need to circle back around,

but it's one thing that, I think we've

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probably heard this so many times before,

but your trauma can be your triumph,

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and it's like you said, it is giving me

a level of depth that I wouldn't have

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had I not went through those things

and was resilient and had to learn how

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to process and come back to myself,

and so I don't regret what happened.

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I do have a few regrets about some

things in life, but it's more about how

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I related to things, versus the things

that happened to me, if that makes sense.

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I don't think that I would take those

things away, but if I could go back

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to my younger self and mentor her

a little bit better, the way I was

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relating to those things, I would

have loved to hold her hand and helped

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her through those in a much quicker,

quicker way, if that makes sense.

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: 00:18:49

Joshua: It does, and for us to be able to

do that means that we have to have that

288

: 00:18:54

empowerment, or that knowledge, to be

able to do just that, and sometimes it's

289

: 00:18:59

not as easy as it might sound, because

we have all those past traumas, like you

290

: 00:19:05

said, but I love what you said: trauma

can be our triumph, and you did triumph.

291

: 00:19:10

I'm going to just go ahead and call it

out for what it is, okay, because, as you

292

: 00:19:14

know, and we even talked about this before

we started, I'm about calling it out

293

: 00:19:18

for what it is all about, because that's

where I am at and this point in my life.

294

: 00:19:23

Whether people are apologetic about it

or not, I don't care, because I feel that

295

: 00:19:27

if it's really something that you've done

that's really good, I'm going to say it.

296

: 00:19:31

Bachelor of Arts in

Psychology, Columbia College.

297

: 00:19:34

Master of Arts in Counseling, St.

298

: 00:19:35

Edward's University.

299

: 00:19:37

You have all these different

certifications and trainings in not

300

: 00:19:40

only postpartum, prenatal yoga, heart of

trauma, emotional transformative therapy.

301

: 00:19:46

You've done so many different things

to build yourself this opportunity

302

: 00:19:52

that is not only something that

I'm like shocked at because of what

303

: 00:19:56

you've been through because easily

people can make the decision of, "No.

304

: 00:19:59

I'm not going to continue with this.

305

: 00:20:01

I'm just going to sit in my sorrow."

306

: 00:20:04

My question for you is

you've done all these things.

307

: 00:20:06

Why give back?

308

: 00:20:07

Why try, because you obviously

do find that energy inside

309

: 00:20:12

of yourself to try, Leah.

310

: 00:20:13

Why you try to help others

to try to find that as well?

311

: 00:20:17

Leah: When I was talking about going

back to that younger version of myself,

312

: 00:20:22

and really sitting with her a little

earlier and shaking her a little

313

: 00:20:26

bit, like, you are worth so much more

than you are offering to yourself,

314

: 00:20:35

and on paper, here's the thing.

315

: 00:20:38

I've always looked fantastic on paper.

316

: 00:20:41

I am a recovering perfectionist.

317

: 00:20:44

I have always had, well not

always, but I worked really

318

: 00:20:47

hard to have the perfect body.

319

: 00:20:50

I would have the perfect uniform.

320

: 00:20:52

I would have the perfect CFT score.

321

: 00:20:55

I would never have a perfect

PFT because I could never run

322

: 00:20:57

that fast, but that's okay.

323

: 00:21:00

It was always a first class.

324

: 00:21:01

On paper, I did all the things.

325

: 00:21:03

I went above and beyond.

326

: 00:21:04

I checked all the boxes, because I was

constantly trying to earn my worth,

327

: 00:21:10

to earn my value, so some of what

you're reading there, as impressive

328

: 00:21:15

as it is, is an extension of that.

329

: 00:21:18

Earning my confidence and my competence

in this field, and feeling like I

330

: 00:21:22

have to have all these things, to

then have the space to be able to

331

: 00:21:27

show up and talk like I am right now.

332

: 00:21:29

Some of that is just, I have a deep

love for learning, and that will

333

: 00:21:33

never end, and I like to be efficient.

334

: 00:21:38

Joshua: Yeah.

335

: 00:21:38

You definitely are efficient

with what you've been answering

336

: 00:21:41

these, I got to tell you.

337

: 00:21:43

Leah: But the piece that I have now, the

love that I can truly sit with myself

338

: 00:21:50

in, and how that has changed, like

transformed, the relationships in my

339

: 00:21:55

life is why I try, and I don't try in a

way that I have someone in front of me

340

: 00:22:01

and I'm efforting to get them somewhere

because that's rude, that's invasive, and

341

: 00:22:05

I don't do that, but I try in the sense

that I hold the invitation, and I will

342

: 00:22:13

hold it for as long as they need me to.

343

: 00:22:18

Joshua: Yeah.

344

: 00:22:19

Leah: That what you said to me,

that I see you, and I don't only

345

: 00:22:22

see who's in front of me, but I see

the little five year old in you.

346

: 00:22:26

I see the little eight year old in you.

347

: 00:22:28

I see the little 12 year old in you.

348

: 00:22:30

I see that 21 year old in you.

349

: 00:22:32

I see all those parts of you,

and I embrace all of them.

350

: 00:22:38

Joshua: I had a guest on recently

that talked about the different chairs

351

: 00:22:42

that we sit on, and how they all

interplay into how we become an adult,

352

: 00:22:48

and sometimes we're sitting though

in the adolescent chair the most,

353

: 00:22:52

and it's such a fascinating concept.

354

: 00:22:54

Jenny Jansen, who was on the show,

actually talked about this quite a lot,

355

: 00:22:59

and I think that what you're saying

is not just about being seen, which I

356

: 00:23:06

did say to you, and for my listeners,

before we even started, I did say to

357

: 00:23:09

Leah because she had some hesitations

about doing this, I said, "I do see you.

358

: 00:23:14

You don't have to be nervous about what

you're sharing today, because I think

359

: 00:23:17

what you share sometimes the things that

we don't share in the moment that counts

360

: 00:23:21

the most are the things that we really

need to hear the most.", but this is

361

: 00:23:26

just about the chairs that we sit in.

362

: 00:23:27

It's not just about what we have

accomplished, which yes, I'm also

363

: 00:23:31

recovering perfectionist myself.

364

: 00:23:32

I feel like we're two peas in a pod here

because I always tried to overachieve

365

: 00:23:36

because I was always overweight, and

always didn't feel good about myself,

366

: 00:23:40

up until about four years ago, and then

something clicked that I can't do that

367

: 00:23:46

anymore because it's not sustainable,

but you're saying something that

368

: 00:23:50

is truly important, and it's about

that continuous learning process.

369

: 00:23:54

It's not just about staying stagnant.

370

: 00:23:56

It's not just about feeling that you have

to always cater to what the intrinsic

371

: 00:24:02

or extrinsic motivations are, which I

had a recent client that we've talked

372

: 00:24:06

about those concepts, and why it's so

important to be in balance with both

373

: 00:24:11

the intrinsicness and the extrinsicness

because you can have too much of feeding

374

: 00:24:17

your self ego, but you can also have too

much of other people trying to feed your

375

: 00:24:21

ego and you're relying on that, and then

when it goes downhill, you go downhill.

376

: 00:24:26

Leah: You spiral fast.

377

: 00:24:27

Joshua: Yes.

378

: 00:24:28

Leah: Oh, does the spiral go deep?

379

: 00:24:30

Joshua: Yes, it does go super deep.

380

: 00:24:32

It goes super into the weeds of why

we are sometimes struggling to create

381

: 00:24:38

that context in our lives that we are

trying to find, but, you are doing that.

382

: 00:24:45

Are you happy with where you're at now?

383

: 00:24:49

Leah: So much so.

384

: 00:24:49

I mean, of course I still have goals.

385

: 00:24:53

For the first time, I can say that I

am content in my romantic relationship.

386

: 00:24:57

I could never say that before.

387

: 00:24:59

I could never invite that in.

388

: 00:25:01

I am content in the

professional that I am.

389

: 00:25:04

I have a desire to make a greater impact,

which is part of this podcast tour that

390

: 00:25:09

I'm doing, but I am extremely happy with

where I am, and it's because I slowed

391

: 00:25:16

down for myself and I built relationships

with my own little people inside that

392

: 00:25:21

I can hold the space for others to do

the same, and it's really for me about

393

: 00:25:26

inviting people to just form connections

with themselves, to deepen that connection

394

: 00:25:34

with themselves so they have the space

to open up their heart to others.

395

: 00:25:38

That's my why, you know.

396

: 00:25:40

Joshua: Yeah.

397

: 00:25:41

You have to be able to, and you need to be

able to always ask that question of why.

398

: 00:25:46

Leah, we're almost towards the

end of our time, and it's been

399

: 00:25:49

such a heartfelt conversation.

400

: 00:25:51

I feel this sense of kindredness inside

of me right now of peace being able

401

: 00:25:55

to hear your answers, and I don't know

why, because I feel that you've been

402

: 00:25:59

through so much, but yeah, you're a

very strong woman for being able to

403

: 00:26:03

share your convictions of what you have

been through, and why something needs

404

: 00:26:07

to change, and I'm going to ask you

a question that you ask your clients,

405

: 00:26:12

because you have this on your website,

and I found this really fascinating.

406

: 00:26:16

Yeah, you probably know what I'm going

to ask you, because it's straight out

407

: 00:26:19

there, and I'm looking at it and I'm

like, "Yeah, this is the question to ask

408

: 00:26:22

you.", so you have on your website, for

my listeners, she says, "What is your

409

: 00:26:27

first question for a client, and why?",

and you wrote, in quotes, "If our time

410

: 00:26:31

together provided you with everything

you need to live your best life, how

411

: 00:26:34

would you know our work was done?"

412

: 00:26:37

Well, my question, to rephrase that for

you, is, how will you know that your work

413

: 00:26:42

is done, Leah, or will it be ever done?

414

: 00:26:45

Leah: I don't think it'll ever be done,

because the world will never be- well,

415

: 00:26:52

I don't want to say never, but in my

lifetime, I don't believe that we'll

416

: 00:26:57

be able to treat each other with enough

empathy and compassion that there

417

: 00:27:01

won't be trauma in the process, and so

as a trauma therapist, as a perinatal

418

: 00:27:08

therapist, women will always have babies

and that will always be a hard transition.

419

: 00:27:13

Couples will always have struggles.

420

: 00:27:16

They, like my work will

never be done, done.

421

: 00:27:22

That doesn't mean that I'll never be

able to close the book on my professional

422

: 00:27:25

chapter, but being a mentor is who I

am, and whether that is for clients in a

423

: 00:27:32

professional setting, or my own children,

or my grandchildren, or my friends and

424

: 00:27:38

family, I'll never stop being the person

who sits down and really sits with you.

425

: 00:27:45

Joshua: We don't have enough of that

in this world, and sometimes we need

426

: 00:27:50

to have that extra chair out for the

nights that someone does show up and

427

: 00:27:54

we need to be able to make a cup of

coffee, make a cup of tea, whatever

428

: 00:27:57

that is, and be able to just sit

with them, and whether that's crying,

429

: 00:28:02

whether that is just having someone to

talk to, whether it's something else.

430

: 00:28:07

I know that for me in the darkest of

times- sorry, I'm getting a little

431

: 00:28:13

emotional thinking about this too, but

I often wanted somebody to do just the

432

: 00:28:17

same, and instead, they would either call

the cops, or they would call somebody

433

: 00:28:23

instead, but I really wanted to hear from

them more than anything else, even if

434

: 00:28:27

I wasn't in a good mindset, and that's

why it's always been my mission since

435

: 00:28:33

I have become more self aware of what

I had done destructively to myself that

436

: 00:28:38

I needed to be able to help others.

437

: 00:28:40

You're doing such the same by pulling

up that chair, and I encourage you to

438

: 00:28:44

keep pulling up that chair, because you

got not only the goods to bring, because

439

: 00:28:48

of all the things you did, even if it

was from the time that you had that

440

: 00:28:52

perfectionalism inside of you, but you

are doing something that in this world, we

441

: 00:28:58

need to be able to continue doing, which

is having that extra chair out, so Leah-

442

: 00:29:03

Leah: That's all we really want, right?

443

: 00:29:05

Be seen, but not to be seen for who

they want us to be, but to be seen

444

: 00:29:10

for who we are, and to be accepted,

and to be held, and so, yeah.

445

: 00:29:16

My chair, my door, my room,

it will always be open.

446

: 00:29:23

Joshua: Thanks for being so open

with all of us, and Leah, I want

447

: 00:29:26

to give you the last few minutes.

448

: 00:29:28

I'm sure many people are sitting

back now and thinking, "Wow.

449

: 00:29:31

This lady's incredible.

450

: 00:29:32

I want to be able to reach out to her.

451

: 00:29:34

I probably have more questions."

452

: 00:29:35

How can people reach out to you?

453

: 00:29:37

If people are interested in having

some counseling with you, maybe you can

454

: 00:29:41

talk a little bit about Omi Counseling

and how they can schedule some of that

455

: 00:29:44

time with you, even if people want to

reach out to you on your social media,

456

: 00:29:47

I would love for you to share some

of that, but I'm going to give you

457

: 00:29:49

the last few minutes to do all that.

458

: 00:29:52

Leah: Yeah, absolutely.

459

: 00:29:53

If the way that I held space today,

or the way that I have come across

460

: 00:29:57

resonated with you in any way, and

you would like to spend some time

461

: 00:30:00

with me, just go to my website.

462

: 00:30:02

It is www.omi, that's Oscar, Mike,

India, counseling.com, and you can book

463

: 00:30:11

a consultation with me through there.

464

: 00:30:14

I also do workshops, and I hold retreats,

and I do lots of other things, so if

465

: 00:30:20

you even just want to be in my world

to see what's coming up, you can

466

: 00:30:24

jump on my newsletter, and if you are

really resonating with my invitation

467

: 00:30:31

to return back to your heart, you

can go download my free workbook.

468

: 00:30:37

It is a guide to return to the heart and

our nurturing your self compassion, and

469

: 00:30:43

it really walks you through the phases

where we're most likely to disconnect

470

: 00:30:49

from our heartfulness, so you can kind

of get an idea of what your core need

471

: 00:30:54

wounding is, like who you need to go

mentor inside, and it kind of guides

472

: 00:30:59

you through what that looks like, and

then, it gives prompts to practice self

473

: 00:31:04

compassion, because it's a skill that we

have to learn, and with perfectionism,

474

: 00:31:09

there's always a very fierce critic that

comes with that, that took me a lot of

475

: 00:31:15

time to soften her, and starting with

self-compassion is so important because

476

: 00:31:21

we can't heal from a state of shame.

477

: 00:31:24

We can only heal from a state of

self-compassion, so I invite you to

478

: 00:31:29

get that workbook and start working

through that, and if you need any

479

: 00:31:31

help with any of the concepts, you

can reach out for more support.

480

: 00:31:36

Joshua: I'll put all those

resources, including the free

481

: 00:31:38

workbook that you mentioned,

into the episode notes, but Leah,

482

: 00:31:46

for maybe one of the few times as

I wrap up this, I am speechless.

483

: 00:31:51

I have so many things running

through my mind right now as it

484

: 00:31:56

comes to what you've been through.

485

: 00:31:58

I mean, first off, let me reemphasize the

fact that you served our great country

486

: 00:32:03

and being in the Marine Corps, despite

the difficulty that had been to be in

487

: 00:32:08

that sort of environment, and I want

to say thank you again for doing that.

488

: 00:32:12

The other thing is, you have been

through a lot of things, whether that

489

: 00:32:17

was through society, whether that's

through culture, whether that is

490

: 00:32:21

through some of the things that you

had to traverse, because it's just the

491

: 00:32:25

process of what we go through as life.

492

: 00:32:28

Where many people would continue to

carry the anger and the shame that you

493

: 00:32:32

have talked about today, you are using

this in such a way that I can't quite

494

: 00:32:39

put my finger on, and that's why I'm a

little bit speechless because there's an

495

: 00:32:45

energy, as some of my guests have talked

about, that we often exude or share, and

496

: 00:32:52

I feel that you're sharing this energy

of this space, whether it's a physical

497

: 00:32:58

manifestation, or whether it's something

that you create from nothingness.

498

: 00:33:04

I feel a sense of comfort today, and

it's very unusual for me to wrap up a

499

: 00:33:08

show where I'm talking about this sense

of comfort, but I feel that way, and

500

: 00:33:14

I don't know if that's a gift that you

have, or if it's something that you have

501

: 00:33:18

learned to cultivate and to transpire

because of your partner's support, being

502

: 00:33:25

a mother, whether it's because of the

training that you have gotten through

503

: 00:33:28

the military, whether it's through your

formal education, I don't quite know, but-

504

: 00:33:33

Leah: That's just me.

505

: 00:33:35

Joshua: But I think it's just you, and I

think because you are just being you and

506

: 00:33:40

I think that you're you is making us feel

like we're a million dollars and that

507

: 00:33:46

we're able to see that best opportunity,

that best authentic version of ourselves,

508

: 00:33:52

I want to say thank you from the bottom of

my heart being on Speaking From The Heart,

509

: 00:33:58

because not only did you open some of

those doors today, but you're continuing

510

: 00:34:03

to open those doors, and you're definitely

a bright light in this world, so don't

511

: 00:34:07

let that light be extinguished, so thank

you again for being part of the show.

512

: 00:34:11

Leah: Absolutely.

513

: 00:34:12

It's been my pleasure.

514

: 00:34:14

Joshua: I want to thank Leah for being

part of the show, and sharing not only

515

: 00:34:18

her story, but also how she's been able to

overcome so much, even with all the things

516

: 00:34:23

that are deemed as maybe the bad things in

life, and turning them into great things,

517

: 00:34:28

because let's deal with the fact that all

things that are great might be bad, and

518

: 00:34:33

all things that are bad might be great.

519

: 00:34:36

It's all a matter of perspective.

520

: 00:34:38

It's all about getting to

a better part of our life.

521

: 00:34:41

Are you willing to do the hard things?

522

: 00:34:43

Are you trying to get a sense

of independence by being

523

: 00:34:46

able to do it on your own?

524

: 00:34:48

Are you reaching out to others?

525

: 00:34:49

I think Leah's story, and so much of

what she shared, all interconnects into

526

: 00:34:54

finding that sense of independence,

being liked as a leader, setting those

527

: 00:34:59

goals, and helping others while you

are a leader in many different facets.

528

: 00:35:05

The military, regardless of where you

are in the world, certainly prepares

529

: 00:35:09

you into all kinds of opportunities,

even after you serve your country, to

530

: 00:35:15

be able to help in a variety of ways,

but speaking in a perspective of the

531

: 00:35:19

United States, I feel that we could

be doing so much more to be the light,

532

: 00:35:24

to be the change that we want to have

in our lives, because let's be real.

533

: 00:35:30

A lot of the things that we try to

help out with and try to connect

534

: 00:35:33

with, I think it makes such a big

difference to have some careful

535

: 00:35:36

considerations for developing yourself.

536

: 00:35:39

You have to learn how to set up not

only the success that you'll have for

537

: 00:35:43

the rest of your life, but even in the

military, you have to feel a little

538

: 00:35:47

bit more disciplined when it comes

to what you're trying to achieve.

539

: 00:35:51

I'm sad to hear that even with Leah's

story that she tried to re-enlist,

540

: 00:35:55

because she missed that passion

and could not do it, she had to

541

: 00:35:59

find another way to make it work.

542

: 00:36:02

Even if you wanted to say that she

should have stayed in the armed

543

: 00:36:05

forces and been able to help serve

her country, sometimes things change.

544

: 00:36:10

Sometimes the perspective that

we have back then doesn't make us

545

: 00:36:14

realize that we had something good

to provide until it's too late.

546

: 00:36:19

I know for even my own life, I have

reached out, tried to get into different

547

: 00:36:24

types of positions, and failed to do

so, and then when I did leave positions

548

: 00:36:29

because I thought I was going to a

better place, I wasn't, and I tried to

549

: 00:36:33

go back, but it was already too late.

550

: 00:36:36

Sometimes, we don't know what our

perspective is that we're trying

551

: 00:36:40

to reach for, until we miss what

we really were called to do, so

552

: 00:36:46

where is that place of healing?

553

: 00:36:48

Where do we find that space?

554

: 00:36:51

Sometimes it's hard to even do that in

the hustle and bustle of life, which

555

: 00:36:54

we've talked about on so many occasions

on this podcast, but yet trying to find

556

: 00:36:59

it means that you have to have a heart

to heart, an exercise in which you

557

: 00:37:03

discuss what you're trying to achieve.

558

: 00:37:06

You have to figure out what are

some of the best ways to keep moving

559

: 00:37:10

yourself forward, while not moving

backward, even if you think that

560

: 00:37:14

you're heading into a better position.

561

: 00:37:17

I think that we have to look at what

our feelings are, how we're being

562

: 00:37:21

treated by the world, how we're being

treated by others, because if we are

563

: 00:37:27

feeling objectified, if we feel that

it's something that they could be doing

564

: 00:37:32

a much better job at, especially with

our management, even if we're stuck in a

565

: 00:37:36

workplace situation that we really want

to escape, can we find the good in it?

566

: 00:37:42

Are we learning something from these

experiences so that we never take it

567

: 00:37:46

again to the chin, to the chest, to even

other places that we might not want to

568

: 00:37:52

have anywhere else in our life, even

our personal lives for that matter?

569

: 00:37:57

I know that it can be a struggle.

570

: 00:37:59

I know that sometimes you're trying to

figure out what are some ways to keep

571

: 00:38:04

moving the needle forward, but in all

honesty, sometimes that needle, as I've

572

: 00:38:10

even said, can be even pushed, bent,

and even destroyed, by other people's

573

: 00:38:16

intentionalities and their false hopes,

their false idols of what they should be

574

: 00:38:23

thinking as being able to move forward.

575

: 00:38:27

You might be even asking the

question, "Why do we have

576

: 00:38:30

these bad things happen to me?

577

: 00:38:32

Why is this always happening over

and over again?", and I get it.

578

: 00:38:37

Sometimes, those struggles, those

fears that we have, the aspects in

579

: 00:38:42

which we're trying to overcome, and

learn how to come back from all those

580

: 00:38:46

past failures, all those ridiculed

individuals that we have been facing,

581

: 00:38:52

all those people that have tried to

make us feel like we're worthless,

582

: 00:38:57

means that we also have to figure out

what it means to keep pushing forward.

583

: 00:39:03

Maybe we look good on paper.

584

: 00:39:05

Maybe we have the perfect body.

585

: 00:39:07

Maybe we go above and beyond.

586

: 00:39:09

Maybe we are even saying to

ourselves that we are competent.

587

: 00:39:13

We are loved.

588

: 00:39:15

We are going to keep learning and

growing, but even then, we might

589

: 00:39:19

be telling lies to ourselves.

590

: 00:39:21

We might be having to work on ourselves

in a variety of other ways so that we

591

: 00:39:26

do get that attention, we do get that

understanding from others, and that

592

: 00:39:31

we try to push ourselves, and extend

ourselves, thinking that that will

593

: 00:39:34

help us get to where we need to be.

594

: 00:39:38

Wow!

595

: 00:39:39

Isn't that quite a lot of different

things happening all at once?

596

: 00:39:43

To try to balance?

597

: 00:39:45

To try to feel like you're worthy,

and yet, maybe all that work is for

598

: 00:39:51

naught, and to feel like you are

worth nothing, after everything that

599

: 00:39:56

you've tried to pour into yourself

to do, is all for waste, or is it?

600

: 00:40:05

I have often sat here, even in my own

office, throwing pity parties for myself,

601

: 00:40:10

thinking that I was never good enough,

never able to accomplish the things

602

: 00:40:14

that I should be accomplishing, and I

let my own thoughts, my own desires, my

603

: 00:40:20

own setbacks even, get the best of me.

604

: 00:40:24

As I've even said to some of my own

clients, I have some of the past versions

605

: 00:40:29

of myself, let alone even people that

I have shamed and wronged, even look

606

: 00:40:34

at me, even though they're not here,

pointing the finger at me, and saying

607

: 00:40:39

that I'm worthless, that I'm never going

to make a better version of myself.

608

: 00:40:46

They, those people, those past versions,

do not have the empathy and compassion

609

: 00:40:52

for what I've been through in terms

of my own struggles, whether that

610

: 00:40:57

has involved infidelity, maybe even

mismanagement of my own resources,

611

: 00:41:04

or even, diving into addictions

that even I myself am still working

612

: 00:41:09

through, even as a coach to this day.

613

: 00:41:12

I do realize that I am human, but yet

through that trauma, I will triumph.

614

: 00:41:19

Trauma in itself should not be the root

cause of what holds us back from the

615

: 00:41:25

unlimited potential and the awesome

abilities that we are harvesting, because

616

: 00:41:31

even if we feel ridiculed, objectified,

racial slurs and other condescending

617

: 00:41:37

comments that might push us down into a

completely different type of mindset, does

618

: 00:41:42

not excuse or define who we should be.

619

: 00:41:46

We should not let others push us into

that corner, because every time that we

620

: 00:41:50

are pushed into the corner, we need to

fight back, but it doesn't mean that we

621

: 00:41:56

use physical violence, or our own fists

for that matter, to make that happen.

622

: 00:42:02

I find it ironic even as I say that

because Leah's story is all about serving

623

: 00:42:07

and giving, but even if you think that the

military shouldn't have been the way that

624

: 00:42:12

she did it, let me challenge you on this.

625

: 00:42:16

What other occupation, what other field,

would make you feel like you were as

626

: 00:42:22

prepared as Leah was when she left,

because even if you understood the

627

: 00:42:28

independence factor of why she wanted

to lead, why she wanted to help others

628

: 00:42:33

and set goals, we have to understand

that things change, but the persona of

629

: 00:42:39

ourselves might not change, even when

everything else is moving in a direction

630

: 00:42:45

that it should be moving towards, and that

can be the biggest setback that anybody

631

: 00:42:51

could ever have, especially when it

comes to those self destructive thoughts,

632

: 00:42:57

so where is your place of healing,

going back to the original question?

633

: 00:43:02

Are you feeling worthy?

634

: 00:43:04

Are you able to find that place?

635

: 00:43:07

I find that even with the people that

will continue to have on the show, and

636

: 00:43:11

the people that have been here in the

past, one thing has remained clear.

637

: 00:43:16

The people that have been sharing

these tales are in a place of healing,

638

: 00:43:21

and continue to heal every single

time that they share their story,

639

: 00:43:25

even if they have overcome the odds,

or have celebrated their successes

640

: 00:43:30

here, one thing remains true.

641

: 00:43:33

They keep on wanting to come back, not

just to pad their paper because they can

642

: 00:43:37

say that they've been on Speaking From

The Heart, but they're trying to push

643

: 00:43:41

themselves in a new direction, maybe in

ways that they have never experienced

644

: 00:43:46

before, which is why I'll end with this.

645

: 00:43:50

Try something new.

646

: 00:43:52

Maybe it's something that you've already

tried, but it's been a number of years.

647

: 00:43:56

Try again.

648

: 00:43:57

It might be an opportunity to

expose something in your life that

649

: 00:44:00

you haven't tried before, but at

the same token, allows you to have

650

: 00:44:05

opportunities, even if you have done

it, to see what that new goal is.

651

: 00:44:11

Maybe it's something that now, you

are a lot older, a lot wiser, a lot

652

: 00:44:17

more mature for that matter, but

more importantly, you want to live

653

: 00:44:22

that experience for someone else.

654

: 00:44:25

Maybe you're helping them see

the best version of themselves.

655

: 00:44:29

For a long time, I've been desiring

relationships, confidence, and

656

: 00:44:33

determination to all come together for

me; to find a path forward, but I realized

657

: 00:44:39

that even for myself, it takes hard work.

658

: 00:44:43

It doesn't mean that I'm trying to

figure out my identity, or that I have

659

: 00:44:46

an identity crisis especially at 37

years of age, but it's allowing me to

660

: 00:44:52

understand that I can be able to test

new theories, new concepts, and even

661

: 00:44:57

retest those theories and concepts in a

whole new world, which is why I'm able

662

: 00:45:02

to speak behind this microphone and be

able to do something that I continue

663

: 00:45:07

to grow in, to continue to feel that

I belong, and more importantly, look

664

: 00:45:13

better on paper, but I have to scratch

out that last sentence, because it

665

: 00:45:18

isn't about what I look like on paper.

666

: 00:45:21

It's about pushing and extending myself

into a greater conviction that allows

667

: 00:45:25

empathy and compassion to overcome the

struggles that we all have, so overcome

668

: 00:45:32

those struggles, my fellow listeners.

669

: 00:45:34

Allow Leah's story to enter you into

ways in which you can do the hard things.

670

: 00:45:40

It can be as difficult as serving in

the armed forces, but be the light, be

671

: 00:45:45

the change for your family and friends,

because maybe your inspiration might do

672

: 00:45:52

something for a complete stranger like me,

to allow me and others to grow, and to the

673

: 00:45:58

best versions of themselves that they have

never seen before, and it was all because

674

: 00:46:03

that we overcame that place of negativity

and entered a place of healing, and that

675

: 00:46:10

might be the way in which we can overcome

not only that negative self talk, those

676

: 00:46:16

negative feelings about ourselves, but

more importantly, overcoming our trauma.

677

: 00:46:23

Thanks for listening to episode

number 146 of Speaking From the

678

: 00:46:27

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

679

: 00:46:33

Outro: Thanks for listening.

680

: 00:46:34

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

681

: 00:46:38

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

682

: 00:46:43

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

683

: 00:46:49

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

684

: 00:46:54

See you next time.