Episode #147 - Being Caught Off Guard

Episode #147 - Being Caught Off Guard

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[00:00:11] Joshua: Welcome back to episode number 147 of Speaking from the Heart. Today, I feel like we have to talk about something that is sometimes very, very tough for us to handle, which is being caught off guard, and what I mean by being caught off guard, it means about all the things that happen in our life, whether those are the things that come up unexpectedly, whether it's a revelation that someone tells you about something, or even if it's about information that you thought you knew, but then come to find out that there was a different set of information you should have been told before. It all happens, whether it's in our personal, our professional, in our business, or even our own lives, that create that subsidence, that ability to have relationships, confidence [00:01:00] and determination, but to figure out how to best navigate through all these, means that we have to be able to understand when it's okay to positively react, or to negatively react, even if that means that we have to go all in, trying to understand why it's happening to us. Why wasn't that information provided? Why is this happening the way it is, and why, oh why, is it always happening to us, the people that sometimes play the victim card?

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[00:03:40] Joshua: It's really sad, because I know that there's faults that I need to admit when it comes to even going halfway into a relationship, because the communication that we have, the interaction that we have with others, it's so important to understand that we all are human. We make mistakes. We should be [00:04:00] realizing what we're capable of doing and what we're not capable of doing, and being honest about it is so important, which is why if you're caught off guard when somebody tells you something that they should have told you a long time ago, maybe that reaction, maybe that response that you had, was not really the best idea. Maybe they should have been reacting in a much different way with the information that you have, and maybe even the information that they have, to be more open, to be more transparent, to be able to engage into the reasons why certain things don't work out. I'm sure that many of us can think of relationships that we've had growing up that have ended in ways that are not healthy, even if that means not admitting that you should have had more time for that potential significant other, but figuring out how we can move away from blaming ourselves and embracing the fact that sometimes it's okay to be caught off guard, especially when it comes to romantic relationships, [00:05:00] can be a lot more healthier.

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[00:06:04] Joshua: I'm sure that many of you even have held information back from others; maybe because it's out of fear. Maybe it's out of the way in which they might respond to that kind of stimulus, that information that you have handy, and I can understand why it can create a lot of setbacks. It can create a lot of frustration for that matter, especially dealing with someone that might not handle it very well. You have to understand when we're interacting with those types of people, that it can be very frustrating. It can be very disenchanting to try to even entice them to hear them out, because you know that every time that you bring some type of information like that up, it's going to hold them back from being more constructive. It's going to hold them back from being able to even grow, because they're going to be stimulated from that experience. Sometimes they might treat it as trauma. Sometimes they might not just react at all, and they keep it inside of [00:07:00] themselves, mulling over what they just learned, but I think the way that we react, the way in which it's either positive or negative, as I said earlier, can be beneficial, so how do you go about doing that?

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[00:09:11] Joshua: Even if you didn't get that raise, some of the ways in which you can even respond outside of that is to simply understand, maybe there are some other external factors. In a positive way, maybe the economy hasn't been doing well for the business, therefore, giving raises aren't really opportunistic at this time. Maybe there were some other factors, some other oversight that you didn't even realize occurred. Maybe it was a mistake with something that was mixed up. By asking prompted questions as to maybe that might have been some of the issue, you could figure out if maybe the company made a mistake, and then circle back and see if it could be fixed in a positive light. We can absolutely jump to conclusions very fast, especially when we're caught off guard, but mangling those emotions, realizing that we [00:10:00] shouldn't respond negatively in a bad way towards somebody else, means that we're able to understand not only how we can be more constructive of the way that we respond to things, but we can take in consideration a variety of things that might be happening in our lives. Whether they are good or bad, giving someone a surprise isn't always a good thing to do, especially if they weren't expecting the news that we were going to give. Soften the blow as much as you possibly can, so even with us being able to respond to that negative or positive news in a different way, the people that are giving that news, so the people that are in a position to provide that, should be fully aware of the sensitivities of individuals that they're presenting that information, regardless of whether it's good or bad, to someone else.

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[00:13:00] Joshua: I have learned from some of my own personal experiences of ways in which not to do it, but also ways in which we can do it in a most effective way, but it doesn't mean that you have to compromise on your position either, and I'm not asking any of you to do that today. I think that hard work does mean that we get to have some sort of end result that is both positive and encouraging for both parties. Think of it as the concept of playing games. Somebody's going to win, somebody's going to lose. Maybe there might be situations in which both people win; where both people lose. This happens all the time in diplomacy, politics, and even business relationships, but it even happens in the daily lives that we live, personal and professional. Being caught off guard doesn't necessarily help our chances of being able to succeed, especially if we're losing our ability to be rational, [00:14:00] to be constructive, and being able to understand all angles as to why that information is being shared the way it is in the first place. Being caught off guard isn't always a bad thing, but we have to learn, even as a society, that even if we were surprised by some of the things that are said to us, we have to learn how to internalize it better. It doesn't mean that we internalize it to store away to then use against them another day, in a negative way that is. It actually means that we learn how to develop more healthy patterns, ways in which we can overcome our differences to create better reactions. We can be negative about the news that we receive, but the way in which we respond to ourselves negatively, or even positively, can overall affect our own mental health or even physical health abilities as well, so the next time that you fall into some kind of information that might be either good or bad, remember that it's not just about [00:15:00] the way in which you react, it's about the way in which you handle it, that makes all the difference.

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[00:17:11] Joshua: Thanks for listening to episode number 147 of Speaking From the Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

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[00:17:30] Outro: Visit us at www. yourspeakingvoice. biz for more information about potential services that can help you create the best version of yourself. See you next time.