Episode 16

Episode #15 - Where No One (Just Me) Has Gone Before

No matter what we are setting out to do in our lives in the personal or professional context, we are "captains" of our own starships. In this episode, we explore the debilitating concept of fear and what it can potentially do to us if we are not able to move forward, particularly when we are in situations that limit us from our fullest potential of our voice. By rethinking the concept of fear, we can start to make inroads to the true successes we wish to see in our lives, and start to overcome the barriers to our successes. Being a captain means having other support staff, including a First Officer, being by your side!

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Transcript
Intro:

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

Intro:

determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

Intro:

This is Speaking From The Heart.

Joshua:

Welcome back to episode number 15 of Speaking From the Heart.

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where no one has gone before, and yes, you

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might be very well familiar with the Star Trek original series in which I grew up

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with, not because I was born and lived in the 1960s, but because of my parents,

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particularly my mom, being a Trekkie, but I think that makes a big difference

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in terms of what we are going to cover today, which is really going places

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where we might be very afraid to go and really figuring out why those emotions

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of fear can actually get into our psyche, creating those issues down the road.

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Now I have to tell you that starting out with this episode, there are a

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few disclosures that I need to make.

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First off, I have been in a life full of fear for many, many, many years.

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Do I claim to know all the answers?

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No, but as a life coach, particularly, I have learned so much about not only

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the things that I've been through, but also because of the experiences

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of so many others, it's allowed me to adopt a worldview that allows

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me to not live in fear anymore.

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As a matter of fact, I rather crave truth and fear approval, which according

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to Joseph Grenny, one of the co-authors of Crucial Conversations for Mastering

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Dialogue often talks about as one of those things that when we're talking

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with someone else, we're really not looking at the approval aspect of it.

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We're looking at what is the evidence, the facts.

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What are the things that we can observe and measure, as opposed to telling

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ourselves a completely different story, and I had to owe it to Joseph

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and the other authors for allowing me to see that view, and allowing me

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to create some of the best things in my life that I even have right now.

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Those are the things that I continue to even build for myself, despite all

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the challenges and all the difficulties that might come alongside of it.

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When we talk about this in a personal and professional sense, sometimes

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those sort of things, especially as we work through them, often require us to

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examine and decide what are the best ways in which we can approach them.

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Do we get on the starship and just start going one direction at full

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impulse, then at warp one, all the way to warp nine; so on, so forth.

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It depends on who you are and I will freely admit too, that even as a coach,

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I have met a variety of different clients even in my short time opening Your

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Speaking Voice that have shown that we all work at different paths, at different

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rates of speed, and having that person that we are talking to, whether that is

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something that they're trying to overcome or it's something that they're trying to

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do on their own, they have to have the proper guidance, not only in the things

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that they're trying to do, but also the things that they're trying to achieve.

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Now, I know that sounds quite convoluted and it's not really particular an

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example because I respect the fact that these are confidential conversations

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that we're having with other people.

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We're really getting into what's below the surface; what's at the

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root of what's causing all those things to happen in the first place.

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To be honest, even with people that go where no one has gone before, there's

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always a little bit of fear that goes alongside of it, and that reminds me

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even of the first opportunity in which I was able to be hired at the state of

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Pennsylvania, in which my very first job was working as a Clerk Typist in

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the Department of Public Welfare, in the county of Berks in Pennsylvania.

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It was my very first state job, and being college educated, you

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would've never expected someone to end up in that sort of situation.

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Not actually receiving public welfare benefits, but actually working in an

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office that helped the public as a whole in a whole variety of different

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ways, whether that is through cash assistance, food stamps, medical

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assistance, or some other combination therein, which might even include some

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of the low income heating assistance programs and even the long-term care

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that some people might need in order to continue living their best life.

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We all fall on hard times, and I had to work in an environment in which

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many people fell on hard times.

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You probably can imagine what that atmosphere would be like.

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The hustle and bustle of having caseworkers interview the recipients,

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the potential recipients of individual benefits that might

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be, or might not be, approved.

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Being able to work in that office allowed me to do a whole bunch of

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different types of administrative tasks.

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Not only was I responsible for the file room, which was being converted into

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a digital expansion library of its own because of the advancement of records

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management technologies, but it also allow me to view the variety of different

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appeals that would come through the office, which would be manually typed in.

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Those appeals would be because of the amount of being awarded; it was not

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high enough, to the fact that there was an outright rejection because they

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have met the income threshold limits.

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I did that for over 15 months to start out before I moved on to my next

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position, which would take me to the area of Harrisburg, but even with all

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those things considered, those were big fears that I had; not just the things

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that I would have on a personal level, but also a professional level as well.

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Now the most typical of professional responses and things that might be

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fearful in nature concluded, "Am I really going to make it here?

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Am I really going to fit in with all my other coworkers?

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Why is that one person look at me weirdly and the other direction?

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Why is that other person staring me down almost as if I did something

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wrong, which I really did not?"

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Those are the sort of common occurrences that you might find in the office,

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but for me, especially starting out, being in my twenties yet and knowing

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that this would be the career path that I would go on at that time, some

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of the personal doubts seep through.

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Am I really going to make it overall?

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Am I ever going to have a friendship with at least one of these people so that I

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can confide in them what is happening?

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Can we really make it through to the other side for the rest of our

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life, working at a place like this?

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Now, don't get me wrong, what I'm not trying to say is that those sort of

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offices are needed because they are and those sort of people are definitely making

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a big difference and helping each other to demonstrate and create some of the best

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people and versions of themselves just by having an extra hand extended to them,

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but sometimes even those adverse effects, the things that we often go through

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often are needed for us to understand and provide maybe some of the most

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basic and necessities to be fulfilled.

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Think of it this way.

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If you ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the pyramid in which we might

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be all familiar with, some of those basics of necessities, which include

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food, water, and shelter, need to be maintained before self-actualization, the

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very top of the pyramid, is fulfilled.

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Having that empowerment at the very top unlocks a whole world of different

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possible needs as well, but the catch is that you always have to have the

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basics fulfilled before you can do anything else, because without those

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basics, we can't move forward as a whole.

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Sometimes living in fear means living in fear of the things that we don't

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have at the bottom of the pyramid because of the struggles that happen in

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our lives, and that's why that office is providing those opportunities.

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Whether you agree with it or not, in providing social benefits, it

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actually helps the society as a whole in being able to have people that

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can be productive, but just need that extra assistance in a short, medium,

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or long-term adventure of its own.

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Even with those things and those aspects taken into consideration, even with

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things that might be holding us back from being able to become the best versions

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of ourselves, those sort of jobs actually build the character that is necessary in

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order for us to move forward to one more step into the direction that is needed.

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For you, I'm sure that tomorrow you're not going to get on a starship

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and go to a place that you have never thought possible because the

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technology simply doesn't exist.

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We have made quite a lot of advancements over the last several years, but we

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still haven't mastered warp technology or the technology that allows us to

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travel beyond the speed of light.

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Even with those adventures in the horizon for humanity itself, the most basic of

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questions for us as an individual is to figure out: What can we do to overcome

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where we might be holding ourselves back?

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The emotion of fear in itself can be debilitating, destroying, even

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deconstructing the very things that we have built in our lives, simply because

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we aren't sure how to best move forward but by harnessing fear and being able

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to use it to our advantage, we can be able to create some of the best

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works of art that we never imagined.

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Now, obviously in episode 13, we talked about that sort of aspect with the

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lighthouse but it goes beyond so much more than helping other people and shining

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that light that you have inside of you.

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It's about seeing where you could potentially go and

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setting a plan for yourself.

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It means building yourself, not only that professional empire that you can

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have, but also building that personal empire as well and it doesn't mean being

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in a negative connotation for yourself.

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You can create some of those basic skill sets so that you no longer have to

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essentially sell yourself just on paper, which in episode 17 coming up, we're going

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to talk about some of those things that we can do, even in the professional sense,

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with our resumes and our interviews to become able to stand out from the crowd.

e truth of the matter is this:

no matter where we're at, no matter where

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we're able to go, as long as we know that fear is just a check and balance,

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we can check ourselves when we are going way too far, but balance it with the

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things that we could potentially do in our personal and professional lives.

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Now, if your goal is to be a starship captain, it can be done.

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If your goal is to just get that next promotion at your job so that

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you can be the boss over a team of individuals that you've been able

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to work with and know the work very well, that's even more power to you.

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It's all about not only just setting a plan, but being

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able to execute on net plan.

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If you leverage fear in a way in which you're able to take

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yourself onto that next adventure, nothing stands in your way.

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As a matter of fact, you can create some of those opportunities that you have

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ever dreamed about, maybe even become the most successful of authors, writers,

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entrepreneurs, even people that run the most successful nonprofit missions.

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Those individuals have all one thing in common: drive.

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The drive to be willing to just stay on that path no matter what obstacles

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might stand in their way from one day to the next, to one week, to the

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next, to one month to the next, even from the years and decades to follow.

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For some people, it does take a long time to get to that destination

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because of maybe some of those deeply seated fears that lie dormant inside

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of them, and that can be something in itself that is holding you back.

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While some people are gifted and they're able to make some of those things come

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alive, time after time again, it doesn't mean that you can't do it for yourself.

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It means figuring out a plan that you can utilize and you can execute

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on that will allow you to become what you ultimately wish to become.

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It's essentially allowing you to go where no one has gone before,

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and that's what makes you unique.

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Your plan is different from everybody else's, whether you believe that or not.

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You'll not be the same author as Brene Brown, maybe even JK Rowling, writer

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of the famous Harry Potter series.

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No matter who those people are that you aspire to be, you will never be

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quite like them, but does it mean that you can't be something unique in that

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field so that others can look up to you, and the answer is: absolutely.

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All it takes is for you to just realize that it isn't just about the things

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that you are able to do, but unlocking the doors that stand in front of you,

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whether those are the things that you really didn't want to unlock in the

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first place, because if you are able to embrace those things, fear will never

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stand in your way; but I have to say, fear can also be a tool that you use to your

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advantage and should always listen to it, especially if it's saying "Red Alert",

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and the red color lights are flashing.

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The adventures, especially for even those that have watched Star Trek, are something

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of quite imagination and creativity.

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The different creatures, the different cultures, the different planets; the

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people like Gene Roddenberry were visionaries of their time, in which

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continued to be aspirations for even some of the work that's being done

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with some of the more contemporary series of Star Trek, including even

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some television series that adapt to some of the things that are being done.

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You can empower yourself just like the folks at Star Trek, just by realizing that

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fear doesn't have to dictate where you go.

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Just by realizing that you have that power inside of you, and as long as

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you realize that you don't necessarily have to be the people that you idolize,

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you are able to create some of the best works that you ever imagined.

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With the best laid out plan, anything can be done and that plan, yes, it can

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be changed, manipulated, go off course, but that's why it's always convenient

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to have a navigator and maybe even a captain, AKA a coach, standing alongside

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of you, giving you any sort of advice that you might need along the way.

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Thanks for listening to episode number 15 of Speaking from the

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Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential

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services that can help you create the best version of yourself.

About the Podcast

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About your host

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Joshua Smith

Joshua D. Smith is the Owner and Founder of Your Speaking Voice, a life coaching, business coaching, and public speaking company based in Carlisle, PA. Serving clients across the world, Joshua got his start in personal/professional development and public speaking in April of 2012 through his extensive involvement in an educational non-profit organization called Toastmasters International.

Toastmasters International operates clubs both domestically and internationally that focus on teaching leadership, development, and public speaking skills. Joshua quickly excelled in Toastmasters International and found that he had a passion for leadership and helping others find their confidence and their true "speaking voice". Joshua has held all club officer roles and most District level positions in Toastmasters International and belongs to numerous clubs throughout the organization. Joshua has also been recognized as two-time Distinguished Toastmaster, the highest award the organization bestows for achievement in leadership and communication.

Outside of his community involvement, education is something that Joshua has always taken great pride in. His academic achievements include a number of degrees from Alvernia and Shippensburg University. He earned a Bachelor's degree in political science and communications from Alvernia in 2009, a masters of business administration from Alvernia in 2010, and later a masters in public administration from Shippensburg in 2014.

In the professional world, Joshua has held multiple positions with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania for over 14 years which includes a variety of data analytics, procurement, budgeting, business process improvement (IT and non-IT), legal compliance, and working with the blind. He has applied his public speaking and development skills in the professional world to tackle numerous public speaking engagements and presentations from all levels of the organization, including executive management.

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