Episode #15 - Where No One (Just Me) Has Gone Before

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

Joshua: 00:00:11

Welcome back to episode number 15 of Speaking From the Heart.

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where no one has gone before, and yes, you

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might be very well familiar with the Star Trek original series in which I grew up

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with, not because I was born and lived in the 1960s, but because of my parents,

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particularly my mom, being a Trekkie, but I think that makes a big difference

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in terms of what we are going to cover today, which is really going places

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where we might be very afraid to go and really figuring out why those emotions

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of fear can actually get into our psyche, creating those issues down the road.

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Now I have to tell you that starting out with this episode, there are a

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few disclosures that I need to make.

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First off, I have been in a life full of fear for many, many, many years.

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Do I claim to know all the answers?

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No, but as a life coach, particularly, I have learned so much about not only

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the things that I've been through, but also because of the experiences

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of so many others, it's allowed me to adopt a worldview that allows

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me to not live in fear anymore.

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As a matter of fact, I rather crave truth and fear approval, which according

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to Joseph Grenny, one of the co-authors of Crucial Conversations for Mastering

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Dialogue often talks about as one of those things that when we're talking

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with someone else, we're really not looking at the approval aspect of it.

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We're looking at what is the evidence, the facts.

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What are the things that we can observe and measure, as opposed to telling

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ourselves a completely different story, and I had to owe it to Joseph

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and the other authors for allowing me to see that view, and allowing me

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to create some of the best things in my life that I even have right now.

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Those are the things that I continue to even build for myself, despite all

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the challenges and all the difficulties that might come alongside of it.

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When we talk about this in a personal and professional sense, sometimes

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those sort of things, especially as we work through them, often require us to

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examine and decide what are the best ways in which we can approach them.

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Do we get on the starship and just start going one direction at full

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impulse, then at warp one, all the way to warp nine; so on, so forth.

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It depends on who you are and I will freely admit too, that even as a coach,

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I have met a variety of different clients even in my short time opening Your

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Speaking Voice that have shown that we all work at different paths, at different

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rates of speed, and having that person that we are talking to, whether that is

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something that they're trying to overcome or it's something that they're trying to

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do on their own, they have to have the proper guidance, not only in the things

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that they're trying to do, but also the things that they're trying to achieve.

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Now, I know that sounds quite convoluted and it's not really particular an

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example because I respect the fact that these are confidential conversations

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that we're having with other people.

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We're really getting into what's below the surface; what's at the

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root of what's causing all those things to happen in the first place.

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To be honest, even with people that go where no one has gone before, there's

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always a little bit of fear that goes alongside of it, and that reminds me

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even of the first opportunity in which I was able to be hired at the state of

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Pennsylvania, in which my very first job was working as a Clerk Typist in

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the Department of Public Welfare, in the county of Berks in Pennsylvania.

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It was my very first state job, and being college educated, you

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would've never expected someone to end up in that sort of situation.

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Not actually receiving public welfare benefits, but actually working in an

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office that helped the public as a whole in a whole variety of different

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ways, whether that is through cash assistance, food stamps, medical

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assistance, or some other combination therein, which might even include some

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of the low income heating assistance programs and even the long-term care

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that some people might need in order to continue living their best life.

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We all fall on hard times, and I had to work in an environment in which

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many people fell on hard times.

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You probably can imagine what that atmosphere would be like.

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The hustle and bustle of having caseworkers interview the recipients,

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the potential recipients of individual benefits that might

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be, or might not be, approved.

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Being able to work in that office allowed me to do a whole bunch of

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different types of administrative tasks.

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Not only was I responsible for the file room, which was being converted into

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a digital expansion library of its own because of the advancement of records

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management technologies, but it also allow me to view the variety of different

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appeals that would come through the office, which would be manually typed in.

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Those appeals would be because of the amount of being awarded; it was not

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high enough, to the fact that there was an outright rejection because they

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have met the income threshold limits.

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I did that for over 15 months to start out before I moved on to my next

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position, which would take me to the area of Harrisburg, but even with all

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those things considered, those were big fears that I had; not just the things

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that I would have on a personal level, but also a professional level as well.

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Now the most typical of professional responses and things that might be

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fearful in nature concluded, "Am I really going to make it here?

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Am I really going to fit in with all my other coworkers?

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Why is that one person look at me weirdly and the other direction?

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Why is that other person staring me down almost as if I did something

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wrong, which I really did not?"

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Those are the sort of common occurrences that you might find in the office,

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but for me, especially starting out, being in my twenties yet and knowing

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that this would be the career path that I would go on at that time, some

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of the personal doubts seep through.

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Am I really going to make it overall?

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Am I ever going to have a friendship with at least one of these people so that I

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can confide in them what is happening?

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Can we really make it through to the other side for the rest of our

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life, working at a place like this?

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Now, don't get me wrong, what I'm not trying to say is that those sort of

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offices are needed because they are and those sort of people are definitely making

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a big difference and helping each other to demonstrate and create some of the best

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people and versions of themselves just by having an extra hand extended to them,

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but sometimes even those adverse effects, the things that we often go through

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often are needed for us to understand and provide maybe some of the most

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basic and necessities to be fulfilled.

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Think of it this way.

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If you ever heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the pyramid in which we might

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be all familiar with, some of those basics of necessities, which include

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food, water, and shelter, need to be maintained before self-actualization, the

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very top of the pyramid, is fulfilled.

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Having that empowerment at the very top unlocks a whole world of different

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possible needs as well, but the catch is that you always have to have the

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basics fulfilled before you can do anything else, because without those

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basics, we can't move forward as a whole.

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Sometimes living in fear means living in fear of the things that we don't

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have at the bottom of the pyramid because of the struggles that happen in

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our lives, and that's why that office is providing those opportunities.

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Whether you agree with it or not, in providing social benefits, it

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actually helps the society as a whole in being able to have people that

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can be productive, but just need that extra assistance in a short, medium,

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or long-term adventure of its own.

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Even with those things and those aspects taken into consideration, even with

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things that might be holding us back from being able to become the best versions

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of ourselves, those sort of jobs actually build the character that is necessary in

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order for us to move forward to one more step into the direction that is needed.

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For you, I'm sure that tomorrow you're not going to get on a starship

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and go to a place that you have never thought possible because the

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technology simply doesn't exist.

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We have made quite a lot of advancements over the last several years, but we

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still haven't mastered warp technology or the technology that allows us to

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travel beyond the speed of light.

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Even with those adventures in the horizon for humanity itself, the most basic of

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questions for us as an individual is to figure out: What can we do to overcome

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where we might be holding ourselves back?

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The emotion of fear in itself can be debilitating, destroying, even

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deconstructing the very things that we have built in our lives, simply because

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we aren't sure how to best move forward but by harnessing fear and being able

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to use it to our advantage, we can be able to create some of the best

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works of art that we never imagined.

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Now, obviously in episode 13, we talked about that sort of aspect with the

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lighthouse but it goes beyond so much more than helping other people and shining

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that light that you have inside of you.

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It's about seeing where you could potentially go and

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setting a plan for yourself.

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It means building yourself, not only that professional empire that you can

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have, but also building that personal empire as well and it doesn't mean being

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in a negative connotation for yourself.

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You can create some of those basic skill sets so that you no longer have to

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essentially sell yourself just on paper, which in episode 17 coming up, we're going

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to talk about some of those things that we can do, even in the professional sense,

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with our resumes and our interviews to become able to stand out from the crowd.

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no matter where we're at, no matter where

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we're able to go, as long as we know that fear is just a check and balance,

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we can check ourselves when we are going way too far, but balance it with the

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things that we could potentially do in our personal and professional lives.

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Now, if your goal is to be a starship captain, it can be done.

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If your goal is to just get that next promotion at your job so that

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you can be the boss over a team of individuals that you've been able

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to work with and know the work very well, that's even more power to you.

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It's all about not only just setting a plan, but being

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able to execute on net plan.

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If you leverage fear in a way in which you're able to take

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yourself onto that next adventure, nothing stands in your way.

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As a matter of fact, you can create some of those opportunities that you have

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ever dreamed about, maybe even become the most successful of authors, writers,

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entrepreneurs, even people that run the most successful nonprofit missions.

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Those individuals have all one thing in common: drive.

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The drive to be willing to just stay on that path no matter what obstacles

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might stand in their way from one day to the next, to one week, to the

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next, to one month to the next, even from the years and decades to follow.

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For some people, it does take a long time to get to that destination

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because of maybe some of those deeply seated fears that lie dormant inside

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of them, and that can be something in itself that is holding you back.

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While some people are gifted and they're able to make some of those things come

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alive, time after time again, it doesn't mean that you can't do it for yourself.

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It means figuring out a plan that you can utilize and you can execute

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on that will allow you to become what you ultimately wish to become.

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It's essentially allowing you to go where no one has gone before,

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and that's what makes you unique.

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Your plan is different from everybody else's, whether you believe that or not.

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You'll not be the same author as Brene Brown, maybe even JK Rowling, writer

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of the famous Harry Potter series.

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No matter who those people are that you aspire to be, you will never be

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quite like them, but does it mean that you can't be something unique in that

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field so that others can look up to you, and the answer is: absolutely.

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All it takes is for you to just realize that it isn't just about the things

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that you are able to do, but unlocking the doors that stand in front of you,

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whether those are the things that you really didn't want to unlock in the

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first place, because if you are able to embrace those things, fear will never

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stand in your way; but I have to say, fear can also be a tool that you use to your

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advantage and should always listen to it, especially if it's saying "Red Alert",

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and the red color lights are flashing.

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The adventures, especially for even those that have watched Star Trek, are something

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of quite imagination and creativity.

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The different creatures, the different cultures, the different planets; the

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people like Gene Roddenberry were visionaries of their time, in which

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continued to be aspirations for even some of the work that's being done

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with some of the more contemporary series of Star Trek, including even

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some television series that adapt to some of the things that are being done.

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You can empower yourself just like the folks at Star Trek, just by realizing that

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fear doesn't have to dictate where you go.

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Just by realizing that you have that power inside of you, and as long as

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you realize that you don't necessarily have to be the people that you idolize,

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you are able to create some of the best works that you ever imagined.

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With the best laid out plan, anything can be done and that plan, yes, it can

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be changed, manipulated, go off course, but that's why it's always convenient

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to have a navigator and maybe even a captain, AKA a coach, standing alongside

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of you, giving you any sort of advice that you might need along the way.

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Thanks for listening to episode number 15 of Speaking from the

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Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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services that can help you create the best version of yourself.