Episode #153 - I Got Something To Say To You…In Private

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[00:00:11] Joshua: Welcome back to episode number 153 of Speaking from the Heart, and while you're here, let me talk to you in private about something that I have been wanting to say to you for quite a while now. That's right. You're in trouble. I'm sure that those words have been something that has always crossed our mind, especially when we're in the office or on a virtual call with her boss, knowing that there's something up. It's almost like that inkling feeling that something has to be said, but we really don't want to hear what they have to say, because it might be some bad news. It might be something that we really don't want to hear whatsoever, but here we are. We have to be ready to hear what they got to say, and for that reason, today's episode is to diffuse [00:01:00] when you're ready to have that conversation with your boss, maybe you can turn the tables. Maybe you can think about how you can react differently as it relates to that conversation that you're about to have, and I get it: that sense of panic, that deepest, darkest fear that might be holding on to you and holding you back from your performance, might be some of the reasons as to why you're dreading that kind of conversation. Maybe you're not even sure how to best handle it.

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[00:03:00] Joshua: I think that we just need to acknowledge first that regardless of what they have to say, there's always room for improvement. Even if it's already too late to have that conversation, and they're ready to give you the pink slip and show you where the door is that you leave from that you've always walked out of in the past, or even when you're going in to turn in your equipment, you have to be able to understand that this is just one moment of an infinite amount of possibilities that could potentially happen, and even if they did happen, there is an infinite amount of opportunity that still exists that allows you to feel more connected, more determined, and more resilient to allow you to become even better in your quest of becoming the best version of yourself. Think of it as a stepping stone. Maybe even some of the people that you have been working with for all this time never really sensed that appreciation that you had for the job, and you thought that they were supposed to be doing more, [00:04:00] maybe even handling a lot more when it came to the things that they're supposed to be doing in the first place. I get it. You feel like there was such a disconnect between what they should have been doing and what they are doing, but yet, we know they should have been doing a lot more, and they never took the time to do that.

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[00:06:37] Joshua: It's not an easy conversation for them either, and as somebody that has given other employees bad reviews that haven't been very rosy in color, I know that even for me, as a human being, I don't like giving anybody bad news. It's not my job to ruin my employee's day. I want them to feel like they can come to work safe, [00:07:00] satisfied, and being able to do their job in an optimal level, but that's the key. That's why we're having this conversation, is that optimally, they're not doing very well, and they need to be able to understand what are ways in which we can improve, so listen for those cues, especially as your an employee, on ways in which you're able to create that context. Listen to some of the things of, "I think that you can improve in the following ways.", or it could sound something like, "I know that you've been doing it this way, but what if we did it this way instead? Can that yield different results for you? because for me, that would help us to get to where we need to be with this project, this customer...", or whatever other circumstance that you might be facing in your job. These are some of the basic cues that even will help you getting through that conversation, and, more importantly, it shows that when you're attentive and even repeating back to your boss, what are some of the things that you're going to be doing [00:08:00] that you're going to be back on the right track? That will get you through some of the most challenging of conversations, when they pull you in a private setting.

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[00:11:01] Joshua: For many episodes early in this podcast, we talked about Crucial Conversations. Being able to understand that you need to create that space of safety allows them to not rise to verbal violence, that person that you're having that conversation with, but you're also not letting silence dictate how that conversation will go overall. It will be very easy for an employee to take a step back and say that they are really concerned about their job and their future at the company, but at the same token, if you don't give them any information which will help them to move forward, to create that context for themselves so that they are able to grow from this circumstance, then that whole meeting is not only a waste of time, but you're also wasting the resources of the company being able to provide that support. Now, for all kinds of other circumstances, even if you're a small business owner that doesn't have that kind of staffing support, [00:12:00] or even somebody else that might be a very small business in itself not having these kinds of tools available, these pieces of advice can apply to you from a bigger context. Being able to share some of the results of other things that have happened, as long as you're not violating confidentiality, HIPAA laws, or any other sort of circumstances, can help you to get through this challenging time. Being able to work with a coach can even help you with refining your goals and being able to pinpoint where some of that fault might have occurred, and to come up with a strategy that you can be held accountable to, to get to that other side of that objective, which is to improve your performance.

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[00:14:29] Joshua: I have to be remiss before we wrap up this episode, to address the fact that there will be people that will talk about you, but they have no information whatsoever, other than what is actually said in that meeting room, which they're not even entitled to, so the next time that someone tells you that they heard this about you, you don't have to listen to it. As a matter of fact, whether you really want to value that or not, feeds into the negativity, the stereotypical presence that sometimes exists in a company that has a [00:15:00] culture that goes around snitching and telling on other people. You don't have to stoop to that level. It's all about understanding that there's balance, and whether that balance is whether you want to share that information or not, is totally up to you, but I know for a fact that bosses sometimes are not very conscientious about privacy, and I've seen that also play out in the workplace, so for my bosses, even if you think that nothing will be said if you tell somebody else that isn't supposed to know this information, they will find out. Being guarded is something that we oftentimes think that we have to keep to ourselves and not try to work through all kinds of situations that might be coming up, but in conversations like this, especially when the stakes are very high in employee performance reviews, just remember. Not only do you have control of it as a boss, but as an employee, you also have a control over how the [00:16:00] outcome of that scenario goes, so remember, even if you think that you're not doing well, or even if you think that you're doing great, the tables can be turned in either direction.

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[00:17:39] Joshua: Thanks for listening to episode number 153 of Speaking From the Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

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[00:17:59] Outro: Visit us [00:18:00] at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential services that can help you create the best version of yourself. See you next time.