Episode 174
Episode #169 - How To Tell Your Story To Others
Often, your podcast host is asked why he is so open and vulnerable when sharing his story, and why it has been second nature to share it in various ways to deliver meaningful value. The biggest secret to ever opening up about your story is not just about being comfortable with your own story, but knowing that it deserves to be heard by others, regardless of the reaction that is received. Today’s episode is all about exploring how to get started on the path of not only feeling more comfortable being transparent, but why you can make a difference, even in one person’s life, because of sharing it.
Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/
Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support
Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
2
:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
3
:This is Speaking From The Heart.
4
:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 169 of Speaking from the Heart.
5
:I really want to open up to you about why
it's so important to share your story.
6
:Not only is it because that you have
something to share to this world that is
7
:really important, but not only do you need
to take into consideration that you can
8
:have an influential mark on other people
based on what you have been through, and
9
:maybe, just maybe, what you'll be able
to influence someone else to do, simply
10
:because you were very open and transparent
about what your struggles, what your
11
:achievements, what your successes are.
12
:Today, I'm going to help you with sharing
that awesome story, because regardless
13
:of what reaction is received, regardless
of what you might feel as a level of
14
:comfort or a level of transparency
about it, you can make a difference not
15
:just in all kinds of people's lives,
but if you can make an impact on just
16
:one person's life, that, in itself,
can be such a rewarding experience.
17
:Before we even dive into that, I have
to tell you why we're even doing this
18
:episode today, because since I've started
this podcast over a year and a half ago,
19
:it's been amazing to hear all kinds of
feedback from my listeners, even people
20
:that are close friends of mine, telling
me about why I've been so open; why have
21
:I been so transparent about some of the
struggles, some of the issues, some of
22
:the things that I have been through.
23
:Of course, many people even reach
out to say, "You're oversharing.
24
:Why are you doing that?
25
:Don't you think that's going to
impact your business, let alone even
26
:people that want to work with you?
27
:Aren't you alienating them to begin with?
28
:Don't you even think about
yourself when you hear yourself
29
:talk about all these things?"
30
:All of those questions, all of those
points are taken into consideration,
31
:and early on, I had a lot of imposter
syndrome about whether or not I should
32
:share many of my situations, many of
my struggles that I've been through,
33
:but it's become second nature for
me, especially as I've gotten to this
34
:point, to continuously share why it's so
important to not only listen to stories
35
:that I've had on the show, but it's
also going to help so much with creating
36
:that advertisement, that opportunity
to not only help yourself become that
37
:best version of yourself, but also help
each other see that we all struggle.
38
:We all have similar plights.
39
:We might have some things that we're
willing to work on, but to have that
40
:inspiration, to have that creativity, to
be able to share who you really are, means
41
:that you're able to find that opportunity
amongst each other, and ourselves.
42
:The biggest secret in ever opening up
about your story is not only knowing
43
:what the facts are, but being comfortable
with what you're being able to share.
44
:It was roughly 13 years ago that I walked
into my first Toastmasters meeting, which
45
:for many of my listeners, I've told this
story in some of my earlier episodes,
46
:but for my newer listeners, you might
have never even heard of this, so I'm
47
:going to go ahead and share it with you.
48
:Walking into that room, where
I saw people that I never saw
49
:before, I was very afraid.
50
:I wasn't sure what kind of
reaction I was going to receive.
51
:A freshly minted college student that
graduated with high marks, being able
52
:to also work on his first master's
degree, which at a very early age is
53
:something that you normally don't think
about, has been an achievement after
54
:achievement after achievement, but yet
that was only in the academic sense.
55
:When I walked into the real world,
knowing that public speaking was
56
:going to be so important, I realized
that maybe I needed to work on those
57
:skills a little bit more than I ever
paid attention to in the first place.
58
:Hence the reason that even after
almost 13 years, I'm still involved
59
:with Toastmasters in some capacity,
but the biggest secret about opening
60
:up, being able to share our story,
is that I had to just get up there.
61
:I had to try, and trying means
that you have to put a little
62
:bit of effort into something that
normally doesn't come easy for some
63
:people, or maybe some circumstances.
64
:It actually means putting yourself
being vulnerable, and just trying to
65
:get yourself to move in the direction
that creates not just the things that
66
:allow us to find opportunity, not just
in the ways in which we need to share
67
:ourselves, but also realizing that the
skills that I could learn, the ideas, the
68
:perspectives that I could realize today,
can be further shared with other people.
69
:That's where my love of
Toastmasters came alive.
70
:When I knew that I was practicing
not only the visualization skills
71
:of being able to have eye contact,
being able to project my voice, being
72
:able to share meaningful, general
and specific purpose type speeches.
73
:These all accumulated into opportunities
that regardless of what other people
74
:might feel about it, I got comfortable
with myself, which the truth be told,
75
:the biggest obstacle that I had to
overcome was myself, and that's why,
76
:for so long, it took me to this point
to know that I had to be comfortable
77
:with my story, to be comfortable with
sharing some details about myself that
78
:maybe other people might have never
known, but yet, I kept them closely
79
:guarded, thinking that if I would ever
share them, people would be freaked out.
80
:Sure.
81
:I've talked about all kinds of things
on this show that, personally, I've
82
:been through: suicide attempts, messing
around with other women, and there's
83
:even so many other things yet to
share, which I'm slowly starting to
84
:open up to, that have not even been
talked about, that I can't wait to
85
:share with you, but it comes with time.
86
:It comes with perspective.
87
:It comes with knowing that if you
have something that you really want to
88
:share, that you really want to impart on
somebody else, why let that hold you back?
89
:Why let that push you aside?
90
:Make you feel like you're worthless?
91
:Make you feel like you shouldn't
because you're silenced by
92
:what everybody else is doing?
93
:Before you start criticizing yourself as
to why you shouldn't do it, you should
94
:really start criticizing yourself as to
why you tell yourself you can't do it.
95
:Flipping that switch, flipping that script
of knowing that you have this ability to
96
:share this story with others, knowing that
it deserves to be heard by others means
97
:that you have to be not only comfortable
with your own skin, not only do you
98
:realize that you have to be comfortable
with the facts that you have, but truth
99
:be told, being open and vulnerable means
that you also have to learn patience,
100
:kindness with yourself, being able to
say that although I've been through this,
101
:I am a work in progress, and yes, maybe
you are opening old wounds, but at the
102
:same time, you might be discovering new
ways in which maybe you can share your
103
:story in the most unique way, because
each story that we tell has multiple,
104
:multiple, multiple endings to it.
105
:What do I mean by that?
106
:It's simple.
107
:The messages that we have in each of the
things that we do or go through, whether
108
:that's with a person, a place, or a
thing, each have different connotations.
109
:They have different ways in which
they resonate with the audience.
110
:They have ways in which they can
create roads that are paved for us
111
:to learn, grow, inspire, cheer on,
persuade, inform, entertain, maybe
112
:get a laugh or two, regardless of
what it is, one thing is for certain.
113
:Knowing that whatever reaction is received
means that you have to understand you
114
:are worthy of being able to communicate
all those different messages, and that
115
:you're not going to please everyone.
116
:Just as much as I tell my life coaching
clients that you can't get to every single
117
:person because they would also have to
overcome some of their own hurdles, their
118
:own challenges, we also have to learn
that in the public speaking realm, we're
119
:not going to be able to seek, or reach
out, to every single audience member,
120
:so how do we get started with this?
121
:How do we even get comfortable with
talking about subjects that are
122
:very personable to us, whether it's
something that might be of a financial
123
:sense, maybe a breakup with someone?
124
:How can we share these messages so
that they have a context, a picture
125
:if you will, that fits into the bigger
jigsaw puzzle of what we're trying
126
:to share in our lives, our stories,
or maybe even in that public speaking
127
:event that we're trying to approach?
128
:Well, I have a few suggestions for you
that maybe you can start writing down.
129
:Number one is that you have to
learn to get comfortable just being
130
:able to get in front of a room.
131
:Whether that is even in a microphone,
whether that's in front of a camera, it
132
:doesn't matter what you will define what
room is, but the room has to be something
133
:that you can start very small, and
grow bigger, and bigger, and bigger in.
134
:You don't have to reach for the stars.
135
:You don't have to be
speaking to 30,000 people.
136
:You don't have to start out
with such a big audience.
137
:Truth be told, in my Toastmasters journey,
I averaged between 5 to 10 people in the
138
:audience, and got upwards to possibly 20
to 30 people, and then in the highlight
139
:of my Toastmasters career, which is
definitely not ending anytime soon, I have
140
:been able to reach 100 to 200 people max.
141
:Those might be small rookie numbers to
some people, especially professional
142
:speakers, but to me, I feel comfortable
being able to speak to those bigger
143
:circles now because of being able
to see what the dynamics are.
144
:Being able to see all kinds of different
interactions and relationships,
145
:all the different confidence and
determination factors that I had to
146
:wrestle with to get to where I am
today, so start small with the room.
147
:Room being whatever that is, whether it
is in front of a camera, whether it's
148
:in front of somebody else, or those five
to ten people that might be attending.
149
:Number two is after you get
comfortable with the room, get
150
:comfortable with your speaking.
151
:The biggest imposter syndrome
that I had for the longest time
152
:was listening to my own voice.
153
:I have to be honest, though, that
it took until this podcast, starting
154
:this, made me feel a lot more
comfortable with the way that I spoke.
155
:Sometimes I don't say the right words.
156
:Sometimes I have mispronunciations.
157
:If you really are a hawk eye listener
to this show, you'll even notice that
158
:some of the words, that even when these
episodes go through the final cut, I
159
:still leave in words that are incorrect.
160
:It's okay though, but I got
comfortable with knowing that
161
:even when I make mistakes, I'm
starting to grow and understand
162
:how I resonate with the audience.
163
:Whether I speak really loud or speak
really soft, I know that my energy
164
:level can be controlled, and being
able to use those different types of
165
:techniques takes repetition, practicing
over and over again, but also learning
166
:about how my voice resonates with
others, so number two is really getting
167
:comfortable with what your voice sounds
like, and not every voice is unique.
168
:Embrace your unique qualities, and
don't try to mimic someone else.
169
:Those are some of the most basic of
things that even the most accomplished
170
:speakers oftentimes forget.
171
:The last point that I could offer
today that would help you with getting
172
:over what you might have as fear,
or concern, about telling your story
173
:to others is knowing that if people
are judging you, if they are rattled
174
:by what you have to say, you have a
million dollar signature topic speech.
175
:Let me repeat that again.
176
:Your speech that might be offending,
might be hurting someone, could
177
:be worth a million dollars.
178
:Now, I have to also caveat saying that,
because I'm not saying that offensive,
179
:vulgar topics that you are talking
about will attract potential people
180
:that will pay you a million dollars to
listen to it, but if you think about
181
:all the movies, all the different types
of films that have been aired across
182
:the years based on real events, even
writings, books that have been based
183
:on true characters, many of those deals
happen from real life experiences, or
184
:adapted from real life experiences,
to be able to become most acclaimed.
185
:I often think of the movie Rudy in which
that was based on a real true story
186
:of somebody that walked onto the Notre
Dame field and was able to play football
187
:at a collegiate level for one game.
188
:That in itself, in a story that
can be told for generations and
189
:generations, can simply help you to
understand that what you have to share
190
:can be worth so much financially.
191
:Let me pause after sharing those three
things, to wrap up with this important
192
:message of why, oh why, you shouldn't
hang your hat on just the financial
193
:concerns of what you're able to share.
194
:You never know what you can leave
as an impact on somebody else simply
195
:by sharing your voice in this world
that is rampant with wanting to
196
:hear so much different opportunity.
197
:We just wrapped up in the
United States the most important
198
:election of our lifetimes.
199
:Regardless of what you might feel
about either candidate, or the
200
:candidate that won, there's one
thing that we have to remember.
201
:Our voice, our ability to share in
the context in which we're able to
202
:project our opportunity to be heard,
our way to be voiced, means that we
203
:have to learn how to tell our story.
204
:We have to be able to not only signify
why it's so important for us to learn
205
:and grow and expand, but we also have to
dig deep into the reasons why that story
206
:is so important; knowing the purpose,
knowing how to project yourself, different
207
:attitudes, perceptions, realities of other
people, can make us feel more comfortable,
208
:more transparent, in some circles over
others as to why our messaging is so
209
:important, but the aspect of what is
really at the heart of why I share this
210
:message today is that it just takes one
person to hear what you have to say,
211
:that will help you with not only telling
that story today, but how that story
212
:will be told for generations to come.
213
:You see, that voice that you have inside
of yourself can also be unleashing an
214
:awesome opportunity to share it with
other people, to share it with places
215
:that you never thought you could ever
reach, to maybe being written down
216
:to be read for generations to come.
217
:I'm sure that many of the authors that
we've had on the show, let alone all the
218
:authors that have ever written books in
their lifetimes, both past, present, and
219
:the future, would always want to have that
claim to fame, being able to share their
220
:story to others, whether it's fiction
or nonfiction, but being vulnerable,
221
:being able to share yourself, means
that you're giving a gift of compassion;
222
:giving it in a way in which when you
share it, you're delivering value.
223
:The secret isn't just about figuring out
why you want to share that story, how
224
:it could be paid off, how it could just
grow from a small little room to a bigger
225
:room, regardless of what that medium is.
226
:The real secret is how much are
you willing to invest in yourself
227
:so that you are able to share it?
228
:If you're ever going to open up
about your story, just know this.
229
:Even if you think that no one's
listening, there is at least one other
230
:person that is hearing you: yourself.
231
:Every time that you hear yourself
speak, every time that you share your
232
:story, you'll gain a deeper appreciation
about who you are, and the more that
233
:you feel comfortable about yourself,
the more that you get those reactions,
234
:even from yourself, even when you
feel that today is not the day to feel
235
:comfortable about sharing what is on
your heart and what is on your mind,
236
:just know that the impact that you
could have just starts with one person.
237
:Even if it's just you, even if
it's just your significant other,
238
:know that sharing your story, being
able to tell it, is something that
239
:you have every right to share.
240
:You have that ability to feel comforted
knowing that when you share it, you're
241
:giving yourself not only a pat on the
back, but maybe helping someone else
242
:that needs that supportive arm, through
your own words, to create the context
243
:of an envisioned future that you are
providing, and I think that being able
244
:to do that is pretty darn vulnerable of
you to do, but also, pretty rewarding.
245
:Thanks for listening to episode
number 169 of Speaking From the
246
:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart very soon.
247
:Outro: Thanks for listening.
248
:For more information about our podcast
and future shows, search for Speaking From
249
:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
wherever you listen to your podcasts.
250
:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
for more information about potential
251
:services that can help you create
the best version of yourself.
252
:See you next time.
