Episode #176 - Sharing Your Voice To More Than The Airwaves: An Interview With Aeoliana Elliott

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 176 of Speaking from the Heart.

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Today we have Aeoliana Elliott with us.

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Aeoliana is a wife, hockey mom,

paralegal, and podcast launch strategist.

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She loves helping people start

their own podcasts with confidence.

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Using her BCAME framework, which stands

for Balance, Communication, Authenticity,

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Mindset, Mastery, and Empowerment, she

guides clients through finding their

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podcast idea, making their content

great, and creating a solid plan.

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She can also help you understand how your

thoughts shape your decisions and actions,

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so that you can launch your own podcast

confidently and make a real impact,

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and boy, did Aeoliana make an impact

today, especially with her interview,

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sharing all kinds of things, turning

from a probation/corrections career

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into what she does now to help others.

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I think that this conversation really

reflects on a variety of different

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things, not just how we can help each

other, not only how we can support

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ourselves in ways in which we can

grow, but we all have something that

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we might feel like we're pretending to

do, but through that pretending, which

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really is a script to say that we are

really hiding ourselves from our true

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passion, we can find authenticity.

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We can find confidence and clarity.

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We want to be listened, and I think that

when we hear from her story today, we're

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not only shining a light on finding

that why of how we should be listened

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to, but that we can build a foundation,

along with a structure, so that we

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can help people through that process

to become able to do it themselves.

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This isn't any sort of

coaching type episode.

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It isn't anything that we have really

talked about on this show either, as

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it relates to her fascinating story

of why we bring growth, why we build

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ourselves to help others, but I think

that her story, amongst many others,

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sheds a light onto why we never close a

door on each other, let alone ourselves.

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But with that, let's go to the episode.

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All right.

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We're here with Aeoliana Elliott.

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Aeoliana, thanks for sharing

your heart with us today.

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Aeoliana: Thank you for having me, Josh.

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Joshua: Thank you for being here,

and there's two things I have

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to start off with right away.

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First off, I'm so happy I said your

name because we practiced it like 500

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times before we even started the show,

so I'm lucky that I nailed it twice in

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a row, but the other thing with this is

that your business is meta to the whole

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reason of doing podcasting, and I love

having this kind of conversation today.

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We haven't really dived into this

sort of work here on Speaking From

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The Heart, so I'm super excited to

have you on the show to kind of talk

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about not only your business, but

also why you're doing everything, so

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I think the perfect question to kick

this whole thing off is what got you

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started into helping other people with

their podcasts, and I know there has

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to be an amazing story behind this.

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Aeoliana: Okay, so we're going to go

back to: 2017

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as a probation officer, and I had a

client who walked in with pneumonia,

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and I ended up with other health issues.

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I ended up contracting pneumonia.

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I got walking pneumonia.

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I spent two or three days in and out

of the ER; 103 fever, and one day, my

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mom decided to take me to the ER, and I

called my husband and I said, "I'm fine.

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We're just going to the ER.

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We're getting checked up.

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Everything's fine."

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My husband said, "Okay!"

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He picked up our son from kindergarten.

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He said, "I'll feed him, take

him to your dad's, and then

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I'll meet you at the hospital."

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that was only like maybe

two, two and a half hours.

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When he got to the hospital, I

was already in cardiac arrest.

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They were intubating me and putting

me in a medically induced coma.

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I was in a coma for five days, I believe.

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The period between February

14th and February 26th, I

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have no memory of whatsoever.

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Apparently, I was septic.

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I had the walking pneumonia, and the

hospital stay lasted an extra week once

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I woke up, and then it was three months

of physical therapy: learning how to

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walk, how to talk, how to write, how to

do all of those things all over again,

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and then fast forward to 2019, I was

hospitalized again with a double kidney

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infection twice in three months, and

the job I was working for at the time,

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it was a different job, not probation,

I had gone into a different job.

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They let me go while I was in the

hospital, so my husband was like, "You're

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not working as a paralegal anymore.

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You need to find something else.",

and that was right before the fabulous

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time in our lives called COVID, so I

ended up getting a job with my brother

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in a construction company, and I was

doing just admin work; really basic,

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but the drive was about 30 minutes

from our house, so in those 30 minutes.

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I had always listened to podcasts.

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I love true crime podcasts

and, I just, in my drive, I was

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like, "Let's listen to podcasts.

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What else am I going to do 30 minutes

going, 30 minutes coming back?", and so

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I started with listening to podcasts for

more learning as opposed to entertainment,

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and so I jumped into doing virtual

assistant work, and I learned how to do

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all that through podcasting, and then

I found out that there's such a thing

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as podcast management, and I had never

thought about the actual background

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work behind the scenes of a podcast.

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I was one of those people that thought

you hit the record button and you

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publish it and that's it, and boy was I

wrong, so I did that for about a year,

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and then I started talking to people

more one on one outside of just the

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management, and I had a client come to

me once and she said, "You know what?

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You do more mindset work and strategy

work than you do actual like management

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work.", and so that's when I jumped

into doing the podcast launch strategy,

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and this past year, I started focusing

more on the mindset piece more so

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than the tech, which is why I created

my framework, which is BCAME, which

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stands for Balance, Communication and

Collaboration, Authenticity, Mindset, and

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Empowerment, because I am a firm believer,

and which is why I love your podcast.

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I am a firm believer in that we all have

a voice, and our voices need to be heard.

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There's so much that we have to share

of ourselves, and like I said, back in

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2019, 2020 with the COVID, everybody

was living a life of pretending that

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everything was okay, and pretending

that we had this perfect life.

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Everything was great.

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Everything was Instagram filters

and things like that, and what

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COVID taught us in my eyes, is

that our shit-o-meter is so high.

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We don't want the BS anymore.

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We don't want the bullshit.

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We want truth.

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We want authenticity, and I really

wish we could find a different word

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for authenticity because it's so

overused, but that's what we need.

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That's what we want.

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We want connection.

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We don't want fake anymore.

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Those days are gone, because we don't

know how long we're going to be here,

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and for someone like me who was always

in the background, and never really

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spoke up, to know that something I

say, or something I share, could help

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someone else, and I don't take that

time to say it, it's selfish of me to

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hide in the background, because I don't

think I have something important to say.

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It has nothing to do with me.

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It has to do with how it's going to

affect other people, and I can say

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things the wrong way all the time,

but the right person is going to

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hear what they need to hear, and

if I don't say it, I can't change.

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It can change someone's life.

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Something as simple as sharing my story,

or sharing what I overcame and what got me

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here, so I hope it answers your question.

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Joshua: You answered it, and so much more,

so I have to say, not only did I have the

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sense that when you had seen my posts on

Need A Guest, which I got to give a shout

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out to the Need A Guest Facebook group for

allowing us to have this connection, it's

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been an amazing community for allowing

me to connect with a variety of different

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individuals with their stories, but even

with that said, you saying some things

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here that I think, even for myself, we

were even talking about this before the

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show that it's really about the connection

that we're trying to achieve, and I like

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to call it the relationships because

that's one of the values of even my

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business for that matter, because without

relationships, without that ability to

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formulate that connection with somebody

else so that we can empower each other,

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we really are at a standstill, and I

think the medium of podcasting, which is

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why I made a decision even early on, even

after I opened my business, to start this,

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was to not just create that forum, but,

noting exactly what you said, some people

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are tired of just the ineffectiveness of

whether we're reading about it, whether

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we're hearing somebody else's truth, which

might not even be the truth, we just want

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to be in a society where we can hear each

other, but even then, I've had guests

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that have talked about the differences

between why we need to be careful about

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what we say, what we do, because it could

be used against us, but even with that

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said, Aeoliana, you said some stuff here

that I really want to break down because

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I think it makes a big impact as to why

you created this, and one of the things

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that really stood out to me is that you

said about true crime, dramas, and stuff

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like that, and I'm imagining like you're

one of those people are like, "Oh, I'm

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going to be turned into 48 hours and

watch what happened with this documentary

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of somebody that got murdered."

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Yeah, so-

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Aeoliana: I am a serial

killer documentary junkie.

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Joshua: What led you into that type

of career in the first place with

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the corrections, probation, and

then having that interest with that?

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I mean, did you think that you were

able to give like inmates a voice,

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like, tell me more about that, because

I think our listeners would like to

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see how that's even more connected.

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Aeoliana: You know, it's funny.

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No one's ever asked me that before.

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Growing up, I've always

been interested in law.

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When I was small, I thought I was going

to be a nun, and then I found out what

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that was, and what you have to do, and I

was like, "No, that's not me.", but then

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it was like, "I'm going to be a lawyer.",

and then I worked out of college.

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I got my criminology bachelor's, and

once I got working, I was working at

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the state attorney's office, and I

realized that if I became an attorney,

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I was going to have to do one of two

things that I wasn't comfortable with.

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I was either going to have to

defend someone who was guilty, or

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I was going to have to prosecute

someone who was innocent, and both

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of those things were something that

I couldn't wrap my head around.

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I know a lot of people do one or the

other, but for me, I was like, "I

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can't be a prosecutor and convict

someone that I know didn't do it."

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I can't rely on the system to do the right

thing, because we all know the system

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fails all the time because the system

is built on people, and as people, as

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humans, we fail all the time, and then,

on the flip side, I was like, "I cannot

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defend someone that I know is guilty."

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I could not put someone back on the

street that I knew didn't belong

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there, and so I stopped that.

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I was like, "Okay.

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I'm not going to be an attorney.", and

instead, I jumped into doing paralegal

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work and I've done paralegal work,

family law, criminal law, immigration.

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I'm doing probate, which is elder

care, Medicaid, things like that;

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estate planning, that's what I do now.

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I've done personal injury.

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I've done all of that, and the stories

people share when they're going through-

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and the law firm I work for now, it's

like, he tells me that the stories people

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tell when they're in that dark hour of

preparing estate plans for a deceased

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loved one, or they're preparing for

the death of a loved one, or whatever

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that is, the stories are the same.

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Whether you're going through a divorce, or

whether you're going through the hardest

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part of your life and getting arrested,

and going through the system that way,

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and all of the stories are the same, just

in different scenarios, and hearing the

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stories, and being with people in those

tough times, and hearing their stories,

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and having them share, because nine times

out of ten, when people came into our

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office and they were in that tough period,

all they needed was someone to listen,

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and from that point, it was so important

to me to understand the importance of

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people sharing their story; of people,

having someone to listen, not necessarily

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to judge, to criticize, to give advice,

but just a listening ear, and I think,

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nowadays, people are understanding that.

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When I was younger, people

didn't really understand.

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I come from a Hispanic background where,

as a woman, your voice doesn't matter.

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You don't speak up.

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You hide behind the males in your

family and your opinions don't matter,

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and moving here to the United States,

I've been here for almost 30 years,

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but it's completely different, and now

with the Me Too movement, and all of

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that stuff, it's like we have a voice.

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As women, we need to speak up,

but everyone should speak up.

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Everyone has a voice.

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Everyone has a story.

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Everyone has something that they need

to share, that they need to speak about.

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I always say this.

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I'm a Catholic, so I'm religious, but

I also do spirituality stuff, like

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human design and all that, so I'm

like all over the gamut, but for me-

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Joshua: You're a very

versatile woman for sure.

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Yes.

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Aeoliana: I'm all over.

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I'm all over, but for me, I say if

God put something in your heart, a

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message, something that you feel you

have to say, it's because someone out

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there is waiting for you to say it.

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They're waiting to hear it from

you, not from somebody else.

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They are waiting to hear it from you,

and we do people a disservice when we

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shrink, and we don't speak up, and we

stay small, and this is kind of deep,

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and it's kind of dark, but you don't

know how your message, and sharing your

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message, and sharing your voice, could

save someone's life, could help someone

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that is in the middle of one of their

darkest times, and you just sharing your

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story doesn't have to be anything that

they're going through, but it could be,

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and now you've shared that, and they

can look at it and they can say, "Damn.

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I'm going to be okay.

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I can do this.

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I'm going to be okay.", and who

are we to say that we aren't the

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answer to someone else's prayer

when we have things like that?

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When we share stories, and

when we share things like that?

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We don't know that.

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We don't know how our voice, and

our story, is going to resonate

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and who it's going to resonate

with, so that's why I do what I do.

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Joshua: Wow.

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I have to say that you remind me so

much of why this whole experience,

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even for me started in the first place.

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I felt insignificant for such a long

time, felt marginalized, even with what

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I had, and you were absolutely right

about what you're saying about women,

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and I'm a guy, and I know that, and

I totally know my lane with this, and

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I know I got to be careful with how

I say this, because I don't want to

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be one of those male chauvinist pigs

that are like, "Yeah, you know what?

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You want me to work harder?"

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No!

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I realized that there has to be a better

opportunity, better balance for us to

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all work together, and I feel like being

bullied growing up, even for myself,

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really showed that distinction of why

everybody needs to be treated equally

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to have that voice, so everything that

you've just said the last few minutes,

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it all makes sense as to why having

this sort of platform to help others

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to create that voice for themselves is

not only fulfilling in many different

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aspects, but for some people, they

don't have that ability to do that.

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They might not have some of the tools, the

gifts, the resources, that say you and I

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have to be able to project that kind of

message, so I love everything that you

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say, because it's something that I've

even said in my monologue episodes, even

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have said with other guests exactly about

having that voice, because if you don't

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say it, and you hold it in, you might

be doing somebody a disservice by not

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sharing what is on your heart, so thank

you for signifying that, and even honoring

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the fact that I know that it's something

that needs to be consistently said.

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Aeoliana: And I'm going to give you a tip.

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Joshua: Go ahead.

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Aeoliana: You said when you

started that you wanted to make

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sure you said it the right way.

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You didn't want to sound

like a male chauvinist.

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The fact that you thought that

shows that you are not, so it

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didn't matter how you delivered it.

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The fact that you had that thought

in your head that, "I want to make

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sure I say this the right way because

I don't want to sound this way.",

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already shows your heart, and that

you aren't that kind of a person.

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You really want to do the right thing,

and share the stories the right way,

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and give everything the importance,

and some stories will be light.

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Some stories will be heavy, and you're

giving people that platform to be who

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they are, and say what they feel, without

any kind of barrier, so kudos to you.

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Joshua: Well, thank you for that,

and for you to say that too, I have

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to acknowledge the fact that I've

had many different experiences.

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We were talking about this even too before

the show of all the number of people that

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have helped me change to where I'm at.

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I would not have been able to get to say

176 episodes if it wasn't for the fact

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that I had to put that work in to change

myself, to expand my mindset, my horizons

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of what it is that is a problem, and I

realized too, through my work, through

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: 00:20:19

the things that I've even interacted with

over a couple dozen clients, even for that

282

: 00:20:24

matter that we are all, at some point or

another, on different pages when it comes

283

: 00:20:29

to what we believe, and doesn't mean that

we're wrong, or right, or indifferent.

284

: 00:20:34

It's just that we do need to be heard.

285

: 00:20:35

We do need to be able to respect each

other, and I think that's a key word

286

: 00:20:39

is being able to respect, and you say

it as the mindset, or the empowerment,

287

: 00:20:45

in your framework, which if I want to

do a quick pivot to that, because part

288

: 00:20:50

of what you even do for your business,

the name of the business for my

289

: 00:20:53

listeners is Top Shelf Virtual Services.

290

: 00:20:57

I find that you are trying to

create exactly that kind of

291

: 00:21:00

conversation that we just had.

292

: 00:21:02

You're trying to help these sort of

people do that, so can you run through,

293

: 00:21:06

at a high level, how exactly you achieve

that, because I saw on your website that

294

: 00:21:10

you do a number of different things as it

relates to management of podcasts, helping

295

: 00:21:14

people with starting their podcasts.

296

: 00:21:16

Even for somebody that is starting out,

even if they do want to get out on the

297

: 00:21:20

airwaves, kind of like what you and I

were doing even today, what would be a

298

: 00:21:24

single idea for them to get started with?

299

: 00:21:27

Aeoliana: My biggest tip for people when

they're wanting to start is knowing why

300

: 00:21:35

you're starting it, knowing what your

mission is, what your purpose is, what

301

: 00:21:41

are you trying to do with this podcast,

creating this content, whatever it is,

302

: 00:21:48

and I say that because so many people get

into podcasting thinking like I did, that

303

: 00:21:53

you just record and you go, and there's

so much more to that, and people don't

304

: 00:21:59

realize only a third of podcasts that

get started make it past 10 episodes.

305

: 00:22:06

People quit very quickly

because it is something that

306

: 00:22:10

you don't go viral right away.

307

: 00:22:12

It's something that it takes a

lot of time to build for people

308

: 00:22:16

to find you, for people to listen

to you, for people to follow you.

309

: 00:22:20

It takes a long time, and if

you don't have that firm, solid

310

: 00:22:25

foundation of why you were doing it,

when those tough times come, you're

311

: 00:22:32

not going to want to keep going.

312

: 00:22:34

You're not going to want to keep going.

313

: 00:22:36

You're going to want to stop.

314

: 00:22:37

You're going to be like,

"Oh, this is useless.

315

: 00:22:39

I'm not going to bother.", but if you

have that purpose, and that intention in

316

: 00:22:45

the back of your mind of why you're doing

this, and money cannot be the answer.

317

: 00:22:51

You can't say, "I'm going to

monetize and I'm going to be rich,

318

: 00:22:54

and that's how it's going to be."

319

: 00:22:55

it can't be that.

320

: 00:22:57

It has to be something beyond yourself.

321

: 00:23:00

I'm a service driven person.

322

: 00:23:02

I'm a projector in human design, so my

whole purpose in this world is to guide

323

: 00:23:09

people, and to see the bigger picture,

and to guide others where they need to

324

: 00:23:13

be, and you can't do something like this.

325

: 00:23:20

It's 1000 percent a passion project.

326

: 00:23:23

You cannot do this if you are looking

for a quick buck, or if you're looking

327

: 00:23:31

for material tangibles, you can't.

328

: 00:23:35

You can't.

329

: 00:23:36

You can use it to promote, you can use it

for all of these things, but the deeper

330

: 00:23:42

meaning behind why you're doing it has

to be more than just to serve yourself.

331

: 00:23:49

Joshua: I can't tell you how much

I wanted to just scream on the top

332

: 00:23:52

of the mountain to be like, "Yes!

333

: 00:23:54

Say it, girl!

334

: 00:23:55

Say it!", because I felt that

way for so long that I just

335

: 00:23:59

had to keep churning this.

336

: 00:24:01

It was something that wasn't going to

happen overnight, and I'll be honest.

337

: 00:24:04

I'm not the top 1%.

338

: 00:24:06

I'm not the top 10%.

339

: 00:24:07

I'd be lucky if I'm the top 50%.

340

: 00:24:09

The reason I even do this is

not just for the quick buck,

341

: 00:24:14

I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

342

: 00:24:16

I am here to make money from it.

343

: 00:24:17

I want people to be able to say, "Wow!

344

: 00:24:20

This guy, Josh, is an amazing person.

345

: 00:24:22

I want to work with him.

346

: 00:24:23

I want to be better person overall."

347

: 00:24:25

I'm not going to deny it, but you

nailed it in that this was something

348

: 00:24:30

that even I've said to listeners that

have known this for a very long time.

349

: 00:24:34

I started this, and you didn't even know

this, I started this as a 90 day project.

350

: 00:24:39

I said, "You know what?

351

: 00:24:40

Let's see what happens in 90 days.

352

: 00:24:42

If I really like it, great.

353

: 00:24:43

If I don't, I can trash this

and just forget about it."

354

: 00:24:46

Aeoliana: Yep.

355

: 00:24:47

Joshua: Well, here I am.

356

: 00:24:48

I'm doing this.

357

: 00:24:49

Aeoliana: Well over 90 days.

358

: 00:24:50

Joshua: Well over 90 days.

359

: 00:24:52

Fell in love with it, and

is it a lot of work yet?

360

: 00:24:56

Yes, because I do everything from

booking the guests, having the discussion

361

: 00:25:00

beforehand, doing the recording,

editing the recording, so on, so forth.

362

: 00:25:05

There's a lot of steps to

it, but I've had support.

363

: 00:25:08

I've had influence.

364

: 00:25:09

I've had people that come around

me to be able to say, "You're doing

365

: 00:25:12

the good work of that to help me.

366

: 00:25:15

You're helping me, Josh.", so

when you say that you're helping

367

: 00:25:19

other people, I feel that.

368

: 00:25:22

I feel that passion from you when it

comes to that, because it's not easy to

369

: 00:25:26

start one of these, I will say hands down.

370

: 00:25:28

It's an easy investment at the end of

the day, because I spent about less

371

: 00:25:33

than a hundred dollars doing this:

equipment, buying it off of Amazon,

372

: 00:25:37

just getting everything tested, set

up with the software and everything.

373

: 00:25:40

I probably lost more money than I actually

gained, but did I learn a lot from it?

374

: 00:25:44

Absolutely, so you're saying some of

the things that I think for anybody

375

: 00:25:48

that's ever considering starting one,

or even being part of one, just think

376

: 00:25:52

about all the background with it.

377

: 00:25:55

To kind of wrap this into understanding

this a bit better, what would you say

378

: 00:26:00

is the number one thing that most people

starting out with a podcast fall into when

379

: 00:26:06

it comes to like an issue or a situation

that maybe they never anticipated, and

380

: 00:26:10

I'm sure you have a lot of examples from

clients that you've worked with, but

381

: 00:26:14

what would you say is one thing that

you often see is consistent across the

382

: 00:26:18

board that is a problem, and how do you

usually advise them to overcome that?

383

: 00:26:23

Aeoliana: Probably I would say

thinking they need to over edit

384

: 00:26:27

their stuff, and it's funny that

you said you're not the top 1%.

385

: 00:26:32

The majority of the time, the people

that are in the top 1% is because

386

: 00:26:36

they have the bankroll to do it.

387

: 00:26:38

They have the bankroll, and

they have the staff to do it.

388

: 00:26:41

Most podcasters are doing it

all by themselves, and like

389

: 00:26:48

the Rogans, or like my husband

watches Rich Eisen do his podcast.

390

: 00:26:54

Those are people who have huge teams,

lots of money, experience, and we're not

391

: 00:27:01

going to be those people, so thinking

that you have to edit yourself in order

392

: 00:27:08

to make something that people are going

to want to listen to, and the problem

393

: 00:27:11

with that is that if you over edit

yourself, if you look at your podcast,

394

: 00:27:15

and you listen to the audio and you

say, "I got to get rid of all of this

395

: 00:27:19

stuff because it's too many pauses, too

much ums, too much likes, whatever.",

396

: 00:27:23

and you don't sound like yourself, when

someone comes to meet you, if you don't

397

: 00:27:29

sound the way you do on your podcast,

they're going to be like, "Who are you?

398

: 00:27:34

You're not who I thought you were.",

so I tell people all the time, I'm

399

: 00:27:38

like, if you want to start, editing

is one of the hardest things to do.

400

: 00:27:42

It takes the most time, and it's the

one thing people source out right away.

401

: 00:27:47

Keep it simple.

402

: 00:27:49

Joshua: You're preaching to the

choir, because I think about when

403

: 00:27:52

I started out, I was like, "Oh!

404

: 00:27:54

I have all these filler words.

405

: 00:27:55

I got to get rid of the ums

and the ahs and all that.",

406

: 00:27:57

and then I started realizing a

little bit later on, "You know.

407

: 00:28:01

I'm going way too heavy on this.

408

: 00:28:03

I need to let some of this in

because the pauses actually

409

: 00:28:06

do add to the conversation.

410

: 00:28:09

The nonverbal aspects, and it kind of made

me start to think about my public speaking

411

: 00:28:13

training and how they even translate into

even podcasting for that matter, so you

412

: 00:28:18

are saying some of the things that I made

rookie mistakes in starting out that now,

413

: 00:28:22

even then, sometimes I get myself a little

too worked up and then I'm like, "Okay.

414

: 00:28:27

Take a backseat to this, let it simmer

for a day, and then take a listen to

415

: 00:28:32

it again.", and then it actually sounds

pretty good, and I actually do love

416

: 00:28:36

even some of the later things that

I've recorded as a result of that.

417

: 00:28:39

Aeoliana: Yeah, and it makes it a little

bit easier for you starting out, for

418

: 00:28:44

someone starting out, and, I mean, I

am the mayor of imposter syndrome town.

419

: 00:28:50

Welcome if you are one of those, if

you are in my town, welcome, so for me,

420

: 00:28:57

I've never liked the sound of my voice.

421

: 00:28:59

I've never liked recording myself.

422

: 00:29:00

I've never liked being on a recording,

but I realized that this is who I am.

423

: 00:29:05

I have to be who I am, and if I constantly

thought about what people thought about

424

: 00:29:12

me, how people saw me, what people

are thinking, which nine times out of

425

: 00:29:18

ten, nobody really cares about you.

426

: 00:29:20

They're too worried about themselves,

but we think that everybody's

427

: 00:29:24

looking at us in a certain way,

and I had to be like, "Okay.

428

: 00:29:28

This is me.

429

: 00:29:29

This is what I sound like.

430

: 00:29:30

This is how I talk, and it is what it is."

431

: 00:29:33

That's my phrase for 2024.

432

: 00:29:34

It is what it is, and we just let it go.

433

: 00:29:38

Joshua: It is a powerful phrase, even

as we wrap up this year and enter into

434

: 00:29:42

a new year, because I think that we

need to continue that conversation

435

: 00:29:46

of, "Is it okay to be just me?", and

I think that this medium even creates

436

: 00:29:53

that opportunity for us to expand on our

thoughts, our imagination, our feelings,

437

: 00:29:58

the way that we move ourselves forward.

438

: 00:30:01

Aeoliana, we're almost out of time, but I

want to ask you one more question that is

439

: 00:30:05

on my mind, and it's really reading about

more of your BCAME framework and a little

440

: 00:30:11

bit about how it applies to podcasters.

441

: 00:30:13

I want to read one part of this

because it stood out to me.

442

: 00:30:16

One of the things that you have on your

website about how it helps podcasters.

443

: 00:30:18

You said, "balance growth", which is

funny because we're kind of talking

444

: 00:30:23

about this concept in itself that we're

balancing a little bit of what we can

445

: 00:30:27

and cannot do, but you say, "With an

emphasis on balance, you can grow and

446

: 00:30:31

succeed as a podcaster while maintaining

harmony and other areas of your life like

447

: 00:30:36

work, family and personal wellbeing."

448

: 00:30:39

I have to ask you.

449

: 00:30:41

You've been through some major

medical things in your life to get

450

: 00:30:45

to this point now that instead of

thinking about yourself, you're

451

: 00:30:49

thinking about others, and I think

there was a balance between that.

452

: 00:30:53

Do you think that you're still working

on yourself with that, and if you are,

453

: 00:30:58

what do you think has been the most

effective thing that you might want

454

: 00:31:02

to share that could help them achieve

some of that balance growth as well?

455

: 00:31:07

Aeoliana: Yeah.

456

: 00:31:07

I mean, I think balance is something

that a lot of people think is a

457

: 00:31:12

destination, and I think balance

is something that we never achieve,

458

: 00:31:16

but we're always working towards.

459

: 00:31:18

I'm constantly working on myself.

460

: 00:31:21

My family is my guinea pigs.

461

: 00:31:22

I have my son doing affirmations and doing

EFT tapping, which if your listeners don't

462

: 00:31:28

know what that is, please look it up.

463

: 00:31:30

It is phenomenal when you're

under stress, when you're anxious.

464

: 00:31:35

It's one of the best things

because I can't meditate.

465

: 00:31:38

I would love to, but my mind just races so

much, but EFT tapping has been something

466

: 00:31:44

that's been phenomenal, and just learning

more about who I am, about myself, about

467

: 00:31:51

how I am in relationships , about how

I am in relation to other people has

468

: 00:31:57

been eye opening, and the only thing

that sucks about learning about yourself

469

: 00:32:03

is that it opens up more cans of worms

of shit that you don't want to deal

470

: 00:32:08

with, and it's like an ongoing process,

but it's one of the most rewarding,

471

: 00:32:16

ongoing shit trains I've ever been on.

472

: 00:32:20

Joshua: Hmm.

473

: 00:32:21

Aeoliana: Because the more I learn

about myself, the more I'm able to

474

: 00:32:28

serve others, the better mother I am,

the better wife I am, the better friend

475

: 00:32:33

I am, the more I'm able to, if someone

comes to me with a problem, I'm able to

476

: 00:32:38

realize that maybe they don't need fixing.

477

: 00:32:42

Maybe they just need someone to listen.

478

: 00:32:44

Maybe they just need

someone to say, "It's okay.

479

: 00:32:48

I'm here.", and that was something

that years ago, I would have

480

: 00:32:53

not been in that position.

481

: 00:32:54

I would have assumed that if you

came to me, it's because you want

482

: 00:32:57

a solution, and realizing that's

not the case in all the situations.

483

: 00:33:03

Sometimes people, like I

said, they just need an ear.

484

: 00:33:07

They just need a hug.

485

: 00:33:08

They just need a moment of your time.

486

: 00:33:12

Everyone wants to feel like they're

important and that they matter, and

487

: 00:33:18

with the balance piece of it, I think

so many people think that if you

488

: 00:33:25

have a passion, and as a mother, a

lot of women, and single dads, and

489

: 00:33:29

single parents can relate to this, you

think that time for you is selfish.

490

: 00:33:35

You can't pursue your passion and hold a

full time job to provide for your family.

491

: 00:33:42

You can't do both, and the fact of

the matter is we're multifaceted.

492

: 00:33:46

There's different aspects of ourselves

and we can be all of these things.

493

: 00:33:52

We just need to take the time to focus

on one thing at a time, and be great

494

: 00:33:58

for 10 minutes at that one thing,

and then move on to something else,

495

: 00:34:01

or however long you want to do it.

496

: 00:34:04

We can do all the things.

497

: 00:34:05

We just can't do all the

things at the same time.

498

: 00:34:08

Joshua: That is some sound advice that

even me, myself, has to continue learning,

499

: 00:34:13

even as I build out my own business and

actually work a full time job, because

500

: 00:34:16

that's one thing I didn't say to you too.

501

: 00:34:18

Aeoliana: Same.

502

: 00:34:19

Same.

503

: 00:34:19

I feel you.

504

: 00:34:20

Joshua: But, yeah, I feel you too, but

part of it is that we will get there if

505

: 00:34:25

we continue to have that right mindset

and have that balance, so that's why

506

: 00:34:29

I loved asking you that question.

507

: 00:34:30

I knew you would have some

amazing insights with that,

508

: 00:34:33

so, Aeoliana, I'm going to give

you the last few minutes here.

509

: 00:34:36

I would love for you to pitch

yourself about your business,

510

: 00:34:39

Top Shelf Virtual Services.

511

: 00:34:41

How can people get in contact with you if

they're interested in starting a podcast?

512

: 00:34:45

Maybe they want to reach out to you.

513

: 00:34:46

Maybe they have an existing podcast.

514

: 00:34:48

Maybe they want to get

some management from you.

515

: 00:34:51

How can they do all of that?

516

: 00:34:52

I'm going to give you the last few

minutes to give you some time to pitch us.

517

: 00:34:56

Aeoliana: Sure.

518

: 00:34:57

Like you said, my business is Top Shelf

Virtual Services and I do a lot of

519

: 00:35:03

podcast launch strategy where we go in.

520

: 00:35:05

I have strategy calls available.

521

: 00:35:07

You can go on my website,

www.topshelfvirtualservices.com/everything-page,

522

: 00:35:17

and that will put you right

into my everything page.

523

: 00:35:20

I have free resources there.

524

: 00:35:22

If you don't know how to find your podcast

platform, I have a worksheet in there;

525

: 00:35:28

how to find your vision, your values,

your mission, pretty much everything

526

: 00:35:32

in there, and there, I also have paid

services and resources there as well.

527

: 00:35:38

I have a ton of workshops that

I've done, podcast episodes

528

: 00:35:42

I've been in, things like that.

529

: 00:35:44

You can book right on my website a free

15 minute clarity call, so if there's

530

: 00:35:50

anything that you're stuck on, no charge.

531

: 00:35:52

I will not pitch you.

532

: 00:35:54

I do not pitch in my calls.

533

: 00:35:56

Just 15 minutes, pick my

brain, whatever you need.

534

: 00:36:01

You can sign up for my

newsletter there as well.

535

: 00:36:03

Couple of weeks ago, I threw out

a free 60 minute strategy call

536

: 00:36:08

for the people on my email list.

537

: 00:36:10

I have a blog also, and

that goes out every Friday.

538

: 00:36:15

A new blog post goes out every

Friday, so there's a ton of free

539

: 00:36:19

ways to get in touch with me.

540

: 00:36:20

You can follow me on Instagram.

541

: 00:36:21

It's Aeoliana.Elliot.

542

: 00:36:24

I am on the TikTok.

543

: 00:36:26

That is AeolianaPodcastStrategy.

544

: 00:36:28

If you want to find me.

545

: 00:36:31

I post daily.

546

: 00:36:32

I have a 365 we're on.

547

: 00:36:36

I don't know what day we're on right now,

but I'm posting a daily affirmation for

548

: 00:36:40

podcasters through Instagram, Facebook,

and TikTok, and I do that every day.

549

: 00:36:46

You can go into my highlights and

you can watch the old ones, and yeah.

550

: 00:36:50

I would love to help you find your

voice, find your message and get it

551

: 00:36:56

out there to the world to the people

that need to hear it, so again, the

552

: 00:36:59

website is Top Shelf Virtual Services.

553

: 00:37:03

You can see me.

554

: 00:37:03

You can see my family.

555

: 00:37:05

You can read about me.

556

: 00:37:06

You can read about my services,

and if you have any questions, feel

557

: 00:37:10

free to reach out in any way that

suits you and I would love to help.

558

: 00:37:16

Joshua: Fair disclosure, there will

be some hockey talk involved too.

559

: 00:37:19

Aeoliana: Oh, 1000%.

560

: 00:37:21

Yes.

561

: 00:37:22

I am a hockey mom.

562

: 00:37:24

I am a hockey mom.

563

: 00:37:25

Joshua: Don't worry.

564

: 00:37:26

The Philadelphia Flyers

up here located near me.

565

: 00:37:29

They probably would have a bone to

pick with where you are located at.

566

: 00:37:33

Aeoliana: Go Lightning!

567

: 00:37:35

Go Lightning!

568

: 00:37:35

Joshua: There you go.

569

: 00:37:37

I knew you would give a shout

out if I opened the door, but-

570

: 00:37:40

Aeoliana: Of course, I will

run right through that door.

571

: 00:37:44

Joshua: Yeah, exactly, but even with

that door open, Aeoliana, I think you

572

: 00:37:49

opening the door for so many other people

too to find your voice, and that is your

573

: 00:37:54

purpose, and to know that we have people

in this world that want to find that

574

: 00:37:59

purpose in a medium such as podcasts,

which number one, is rapidly growing.

575

: 00:38:04

It's still one of the things that

is so easy to go into, but like you

576

: 00:38:08

said, so many people burn out with it.

577

: 00:38:11

I have to tell you that for people

that have come through stories like

578

: 00:38:16

yourself, to be able to get to the other

side, to become the best versions of

579

: 00:38:19

themselves, I appreciate you helping

others to get along the same sort of

580

: 00:38:24

trajectory, to get through that, to

overcome barriers that might exist, so

581

: 00:38:30

for all those reasons, Aeoliana, thanks

for being on Speaking From The Heart.

582

: 00:38:35

I really appreciate our conversation,

the wealth of information, and more

583

: 00:38:39

importantly, the kind heart that you have.

584

: 00:38:41

Aeoliana: Thank you so much for having me.

585

: 00:38:43

Hopefully your listeners got something

and enjoyed it, and hope it helped

586

: 00:38:48

someone to realize that they matter,

their voice matters, and someone

587

: 00:38:52

wants to hear what you have to say.

588

: 00:38:55

Joshua: Absolutely.

589

: 00:38:55

We do all matter, and I really think

that we need to continue having

590

: 00:38:59

that conversation of why we all

matter too, so thank you again.

591

: 00:39:03

Aeoliana: Thank you.

592

: 00:39:05

Joshua: I want to thank Aeoliana

for being part of the show.

593

: 00:39:08

It's fascinating to me that somebody

that has turned a career where you're

594

: 00:39:12

passionately helping others get back

into society helps to turn others

595

: 00:39:18

into this vision of relearning skills,

opportunities, and other things that

596

: 00:39:24

maybe we've learned at one time in

our lives, but being able to repurpose

597

: 00:39:28

it to build a new foundation for a

career, let alone even a skill for that

598

: 00:39:34

matter, is really exhilarating to me.

599

: 00:39:37

The last time I could think of an episode

like this, we have to go all the way

600

: 00:39:41

back to episode number four with my good

friend, Tricia Renzi, who was on the

601

: 00:39:45

show talking about how she went through

these obstacles of having brain surgery

602

: 00:39:52

done and reteaching herself ways in which

she can function in society, and I think

603

: 00:39:58

that hearing these kinds of stories,

especially with her insight, really

604

: 00:40:02

shines a light on today's guest on how

we can fall in love with a concept, even

605

: 00:40:07

a podcast for that matter, and be able

to exemplify our greatness, finding the

606

: 00:40:13

way in which we can make a true impact.

607

: 00:40:15

You can sense the passion, even in this

conversation today, because as you're

608

: 00:40:20

trying to pretend to do things that you

might be just going through life muddling

609

: 00:40:25

along, you start to ask yourself, "Is

this really the truth that I want to live?

610

: 00:40:31

Is this how I authentically want to

be represented?", and I think that we

611

: 00:40:34

all have something to share, whether

we want to marginalize it or not.

612

: 00:40:39

I think that we have something that we

have to give birth to, whether that is

613

: 00:40:44

an inherent skill or ability, or work

on something that's really hard, maybe

614

: 00:40:49

challenging, pushing ourselves out of

our comfort zone, so that we can make

615

: 00:40:53

that all determining impact on others.

616

: 00:40:57

Perhaps what you're serving is not

actually serving something in the first

617

: 00:41:01

place, which is why you can't always rely

on the system, and I think Aeoliana's

618

: 00:41:07

story really points back to the fact that

we have all these different situations.

619

: 00:41:11

We all have these different

things that we're going through.

620

: 00:41:14

We have to find passion and exemplifying

what we want to get out of it, and if

621

: 00:41:21

the system doesn't serve us what we're

actually trying to do, whether that is

622

: 00:41:26

in a career, we have to forge a new path

forward, which is why stories, sharing

623

: 00:41:32

them, creating that connection by learning

morals, values, lessons that we can

624

: 00:41:37

apply to in our own lives really makes

this an important subject in itself.

625

: 00:41:44

We want to feel like we are listened.

626

: 00:41:46

I know because I'm doing this, and I

want you to listen to me, but even though

627

: 00:41:51

I want you to listen, it means that I

have to deliver on something that you

628

: 00:41:56

will get a tangible benefit out of.

629

: 00:41:59

You have to feel heard, but what if

that message, that story that you have

630

: 00:42:05

to share can potentially save our life?

631

: 00:42:09

It might be able to save other people's

lives, which is why giving back, giving

632

: 00:42:15

in itself, the concept of actually

sharing your resources, sharing what

633

: 00:42:20

is your time, is really important.

634

: 00:42:24

Figuring out that why, figuring out

why you're creating that content, why

635

: 00:42:28

you're doing that in the first place,

is really, truly important for us to

636

: 00:42:33

have that in the back of our minds.

637

: 00:42:36

I think that building that foundation,

having that firm footing so that we are

638

: 00:42:40

able to be service oriented, is something

that we have to figure out every single

639

: 00:42:45

time that we're working on a client, we're

working with somebody that is trying to

640

: 00:42:49

overcome some sort of obstacle, maybe

even figuring out in our own lives what

641

: 00:42:53

it means to be able to make ends meet.

642

: 00:42:56

What is it that we have

to do to work even harder?

643

: 00:42:59

That human design driven system, that

ability for us to have staff to bankroll

644

: 00:43:05

that, means that we have to create an

experience that everybody can enjoy.

645

: 00:43:11

That means that we have to create

meaningful content, and I think that

646

: 00:43:16

balancing the growth and learning about

ourselves at the same time, allows us

647

: 00:43:21

to figure out what is it that we can

piecemeal out, what is it that we're

648

: 00:43:24

able to work on so that we can have

creative control, but more importantly,

649

: 00:43:30

we have to be able to open more doors.

650

: 00:43:33

We have to be able to fly

open all the things that we

651

: 00:43:37

have that are in store for us.

652

: 00:43:41

It's not any secret.

653

: 00:43:43

Knowing that we're here, and knowing

that we're able to help us is not

654

: 00:43:47

the only thing that we can do.

655

: 00:43:51

Even if we seek out that help from

others, we have to be willing to

656

: 00:43:55

also say to ourselves that we want

more, which is why I love this BCAME

657

: 00:44:01

framework that Aeoliana talked about.

658

: 00:44:03

This authenticity aspect, which is even

the foundation of this podcast itself,

659

: 00:44:09

means that we have to be willing to share

our conversations about our own lives.

660

: 00:44:15

We have to open doors that otherwise

would have been closed, and be

661

: 00:44:19

willing to speak from our hearts.

662

: 00:44:22

That's why I create this context.

663

: 00:44:24

That's what my purpose is, ladies and

gentlemen, of being able to do this

664

: 00:44:28

in the first place, but I get it.

665

: 00:44:32

If you live through life and you live

through experiences that are tough, and

666

: 00:44:35

they're really challenging in their own

right, why wonder it's so difficult for

667

: 00:44:40

us to be glamorized, to be galore by

all the different choices that we have.

668

: 00:44:46

I know that it's easy for us to

tune out of something that somebody

669

: 00:44:50

is saying, especially if it speaks

truth in our own lives, because maybe

670

: 00:44:54

we're not ready to swallow that pill.

671

: 00:44:57

Maybe we're not willing to move ourselves

forward in the right direction, and that

672

: 00:45:03

isn't because we're afraid of it, it isn't

because we're not willing to take it on.

673

: 00:45:08

There's something more that is

happening beneath the surface.

674

: 00:45:12

It's something that sometimes

you can't quite put words to.

675

: 00:45:16

It means that you have to

figure out why is this feeling

676

: 00:45:20

always happening all the time.

677

: 00:45:22

It reminds me of what my life has been.

678

: 00:45:26

I have been learning a lot about my

own childhood growing up, and why it's

679

: 00:45:31

been so difficult sometimes to even

move myself into a positive direction.

680

: 00:45:36

Why do I keep doing the same things

wrong over and over and over again?

681

: 00:45:41

Because I haven't made

the right decisions.

682

: 00:45:43

The content that I was creating for

myself was not great, and by not having

683

: 00:45:49

that consistent, solid plan, in which I

was always going back to my own two out

684

: 00:45:54

of ten ways, being depressed, feeling

like everything was hopeless, and oh

685

: 00:46:00

yes, mimicking even what my parents were

doing, was not helping me whatsoever.

686

: 00:46:07

I can only imagine the skills that

we can learn if we're just willing to

687

: 00:46:12

break out of those comfort zones, if

we're able to say to ourselves that we

688

: 00:46:17

can have that best opportunity in our

lives, which I just talked about in

689

: 00:46:21

the previous episode before today's.

690

: 00:46:25

It's something that when we fall in love

with a concept, even of ourselves, if

691

: 00:46:29

we're willing to give ourselves grace

when we do make mistakes, it's okay to be

692

: 00:46:35

able to say that we are falling behind for

right now, but we're going to catch up.

693

: 00:46:41

I've learned that even people

generate different types of

694

: 00:46:45

attitudes when it comes to these

kinds of subjects, which recently,

695

: 00:46:48

I started reading Thomas Erickson's

Surrounded by Idiots, which, no!

696

: 00:46:53

When you hear the book title, it's not

talking about how you deal with idiots.

697

: 00:46:58

It's actually talking about the DISC

methodology, which if you've never heard

698

: 00:47:02

of, deals with how you handle and respond

to different types of personalities,

699

: 00:47:07

and what your personality is, but this

book goes a little bit deeper than just

700

: 00:47:12

talking about DISC, but at its simplistic

nature, talking about different colors in

701

: 00:47:17

which we have different characteristics

that we are as human beings.

702

: 00:47:22

As somebody that has been a long life

learner of how we identify with each

703

: 00:47:25

other, and how we connect on a variety

of different levels, I've learned a thing

704

: 00:47:30

or two about what it means to have a

different personality, have a different

705

: 00:47:35

connection with someone, but yet at

the same time, figuring out what is it

706

: 00:47:40

that I really want to have with them?

707

: 00:47:43

What it means to serve my interests, but

also serve theirs, and story sharing is

708

: 00:47:49

something that has helped me so much in

creating that connection with others.

709

: 00:47:54

The importance for us to know our why so

that we can create that content, to be

710

: 00:48:00

able to have that firm, solid foundation,

means that we have to keep on growing.

711

: 00:48:06

We have to keep on leading the way.

712

: 00:48:09

Whether that is talking to others, being

able to express ourselves, means that we

713

: 00:48:14

have to be extroverted in our own way, and

it's not the way that you normally think.

714

: 00:48:20

It could be playing a game in which

you're strategizing with someone else.

715

: 00:48:25

It could be attending a book club, in

which you discuss what a book is and what

716

: 00:48:30

it contemporarily means in our culture.

717

: 00:48:33

It could be attending a play,

looking at all the characters

718

: 00:48:36

and studying what it means for

them to interact with each other.

719

: 00:48:41

I know that those might be all boring

things, especially in this day and

720

: 00:48:45

age where we can watch Reels, TikTok

videos, and so much more, but the

721

: 00:48:50

truth of the matter is, is that

we have to get back to the basics.

722

: 00:48:54

As I've been stressing in more recent

episodes, those basics help us to

723

: 00:48:59

learn, to help us find that foundation

of our why, but more importantly,

724

: 00:49:05

we can help others through that.

725

: 00:49:08

Even Aeoliana's framework of balance,

communication, authenticity, mindset

726

: 00:49:14

mastery, and empowerment can all

change if you're just willing to help

727

: 00:49:19

yourself start your journey today.

728

: 00:49:24

You don't have to be a podcast host.

729

: 00:49:27

You don't even have to be a guest.

730

: 00:49:29

All you need is the commitment and

the willingness to say to yourself

731

: 00:49:34

that through your decisions, through

your actions, through the things that

732

: 00:49:38

have been what it is, you are able

to help others achieve greatness.

733

: 00:49:45

You can help them find all those things,

and so much more, if you're just willing

734

: 00:49:51

to make that difference, not just

in yourself, but in others as well.

735

: 00:49:57

But hey!

736

: 00:49:58

If you're willing to be a guest, if

you're willing to be able to share

737

: 00:50:01

your story, if you're willing to tell

your talent, I think that many people

738

: 00:50:05

would not only give you a microphone in

which you can speak into, but knowing

739

: 00:50:10

that you're here, knowing that you're

able to do so much more, just shows

740

: 00:50:14

a testimony to the empowerment of the

human race, and what we're capable of

741

: 00:50:19

adapting to, especially in this season

in which we're always adapting to the

742

: 00:50:25

ever changing climate, to the ever

changing circumstances, but remembering

743

: 00:50:31

that we all come from somewhere and

we all start at a certain point.

744

: 00:50:36

It's not just about me, myself, and I.

745

: 00:50:39

It also means involving you in

learning all the lessons that I have

746

: 00:50:44

learned, so you can become better.

747

: 00:50:47

Thanks for listening to episode

number 176 of Speaking From the

748

: 00:50:52

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

749

: 00:50:57

Outro: Thanks for listening.

750

: 00:50:58

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

751

: 00:51:03

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

752

: 00:51:08

Visit us at www.

753

: 00:51:10

yourspeakingvoice.

754

: 00:51:12

biz for more information about

potential services that can help you

755

: 00:51:15

create the best version of yourself.

756

: 00:51:18

See you next time.