Episode 198
Episode #193 - Testing Your Abilities
Have you ever been tested by someone, whether it is someone in your life or at your job/business, who did not give you the credibility that you deserve? Has your self worth and feeling of worthiness been put into question as a result of being challenged/misunderstood? Today’s episode focuses on not only the reaction that we, as humans, can possibly experience when we are put into question, but how the conversation can turn around using the “determination” value to prove to others, even though it is unnecessary, that we are worthy.
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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
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:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
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:This is Speaking From The Heart.
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:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 193 of Speaking From The Heart.
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:Have you ever been really, really
tested in terms of not only your
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:personality, but also the way in which
you handle things, even the things
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:that happen on a day to day basis,
whether it's from your children, whether
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:it's from your significant other,
whether it's from your co-workers,
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:even your boss for that matter?
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:Has clients, even individuals
that you work with consistently,
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:contractors, people that have
been continuously knocking on
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:your door, testing your patience?
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:Have they been forcing you to feel like
you are really at wit's end at your
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:patience, at your limit, in terms of
being able to work through a variety of
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:different conversations, issues that might
come up, and even trying to figure out
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:what's the best course moving forward?
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:I think that many of us, especially in
the different types of circumstances
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:that we are in, are faced with
these challenges day in and day out.
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:Testing our abilities means that we have
to live life to the fullest, knowing
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:that we have to have this patience, this
credibility, and we have to earn it with
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:not only the degree of which we deserve
to have it, but also trying to work
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:through the different challenges that we
are faced with, putting our worthiness
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:at the line, especially questioning
whether we are being misunderstood,
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:being challenged by those individuals.
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:I think that for life, and for all the
things that it brings, these can be
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:challenging in so many different ways,
so in today's episode, I want to help
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:you not only address those challenges,
not only address what those abilities
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:look like, but putting to question
why those conversations happen, and
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:working through the determination that
we have to keep on pressing forward,
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:even if we think that we're unworthy.
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:Now, I don't know about you, but I've
been tested throughout my life in a
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:variety of different circumstances.
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:Not only has it been about my own
work ethic, but it's also been about
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:my relationships with others; why
I have certain relationships over
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:other people, and why do I keep on
working with people that sometimes
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:might not be worthy of such work
being done, and I can understand why.
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:There are a variety of different factors
that might play into somebody's decision
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:of wanting to work with someone, of
willing to put on that question of why
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:that is happening in the first place.
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:Why are we feeling like we owe them
something to even work on, but those
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:abilities, those things that we have,
means that we are being looked upon,
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:and we are going to be tested day in
and day out on whether we respond to
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:them effectively or not, and having that
job, having that business, especially,
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:means that we are continuously putting
on the line our credibility, our ability
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:to work with others, to showcase why
we are the right person for the job,
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:and of course, when we are being
questioned at our job, especially by
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:our bosses, as to why we made a certain
decision the way that we did, I can
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:also understand why, oh why, they
would want to see why that credibility
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:needs to be questioned, especially
if they're going to be questioned as
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:they go through the chain of command.
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:That self worth, that worthiness,
might have a lot of different
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:feelings associated with it.
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:Sadness.
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:Guilt.
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:Anxiety.
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:All the things that we often attune
to when it comes to our own self
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:worth means that we have to work
through difficult situations.
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:It means that we might be misunderstood.
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:It might mean that we have to focus on
the reaction that might come from such
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:interactions, and trying to address
what that looks like, but how we turn
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:those conversations into opportunities
means that we have to look at why those
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:circumstances happen in the first place.
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:Those circumstances often occur
because not only are they being
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:tested as I alluded to earlier, but
it might be because they might not be
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:certain of whether your answer, that
problem that you're trying to solve,
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:those abilities that you have that
you claim to have at stake, are even
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:being worthy of being considered.
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:That credibility, that ability to put
the question what it is that you bring
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:to the table of whether you're worthy or
not, is something that might come from
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:a variety of different perspectives, and
might not even be about you, but about
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:the person that is naming that problem,
naming that issue that is coming up, and
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:I think by testing our abilities, testing
our willingness to keep pushing through
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:all the different things, means that
we have to keep on continuously trying
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:to move towards a different direction.
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:It means that we have to realize through
our own problems, and our own solutions,
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:what it means to create that aspect,
that development, of what it means to be
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:worthy, to give ourselves that self worth,
to know that when people are questioning
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:that, that we do have an answer for it.
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:Oftentimes, it can be very
difficult to not only have these
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:kinds of conversations, but to
also respond to them accordingly.
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:Charles Darwin's Origin of Species would
certainly tell you that the survival of
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:the fittest means that we have to work
through a variety of different outcomes.
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:Those outcomes will determine whether
someone will succeed or, in the most
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:morbid of cases, how someone will die,
and I certainly don't advocate that
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:someone's going to die just because
they're being tested for their abilities.
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:I think that it's just simply an
understanding of what it means to have
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:merit, to have consideration, to bring
forth worth in this ever changing world,
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:but also showcasing why that reaction
that we have, that ability for us to
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:keep working through problems, means that
we have to be able to learn why those
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:circumstances happen in the first place.
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:I think by learning those circumstances,
we can actually challenge how our
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:abilities are tested, so I have a
couple ideas as to how you can work
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:through some of those things today.
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:Number one is to actually
do a risk assessment.
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:Many companies do that, especially
when they're testing a new product.
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:They're measuring the outcomes over an
extended period of time, especially in
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:a smaller market, what it might mean
to offer a new product, a new service,
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:or a combination thereof, in order to
showcase not only their willingness to
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:keep moving forward, but also to keep
on doing what they are set out to do.
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:Of course, we don't want to spend millions
or even billions of dollars on a wasted
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:idea, and then have to answer to somebody.
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:Of course we don't want to do that!
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:That's testing our abilities.
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:That's testing our willingness to be
able to address these kinds of concerns
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:without any retribution; any delay.
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:I think that when we are working
through all these different experiences,
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:especially when it comes to risk
assessment, we want to showcase why
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:it's so important to try to stay away
from it, so being able to do that
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:assessment can make such an impact on
the ways in which we grow and thrive in
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:our own skill sets, our own knowledge,
and being able to help others, but
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:the real important thing that I think
of, more than anything else, is just
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:paying attention to the small details.
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:Growing up as a kid, I learned so much
about learning about those types of
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:details and been a very careful observer
when it comes to other people, knowing
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:by their sense of touch, smell, feeling
of whether that energy around them is
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:really a positive or negative influence,
means that we have to learn about why it's
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:happening in the first place; why those
people are reacting the way they are.
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:When we start to understand that, and
we start to understand the patterns,
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:and the differences that are being
exhibited, that's when we really can hone
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:in on not only those abilities that are
being tested, but also understand why
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:people are reacting the way they are.
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:Those small details are the "proof
in the pudding", as they say in a
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:certain expression, of how we are
able to learn from other individuals.
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:That detail, especially those aspects
that create those reactions that we are
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:oftentimes fearful of, means that we have
to be seeking out what it means to go
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:through those processes, what it means
to go through those different types of
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:situations, what it means to especially
have all those unnecessary aspects, but
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:also, addressing what it is that create
these indicators, these things of which
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:create that self doubt, and maybe even
are being done to see how you react
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:each time someone is bringing it up.
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:Think of it this way.
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:Would a kid, especially one that
you're raising, certainly test over
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:and over again when you're going to
give in to give them a candy bar?
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:Maybe that sweet treat
that's in the cupboard?
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:How many times does it take for them to
annoy you, to frustrate you, to keep on
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:continuously asking you, "Mom or dad.
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:Can I have that piece of candy now?",
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:until you finally give in?
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:They're testing your ability as to
how much patience you really have.
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:How willing are you to
give them that sweet treat?
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:I think for many of us who are trying
to get into that sweet treat when we
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:are trying to unlock in somebody their
ability to work through difficult
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:problems, and for them to put to question
what this conversation looks like, means
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:that you also have to learn from those
individuals what they're seeking out.
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:Maybe they're testing you for a reason.
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:Maybe there's a hidden motivation,
which could be a whole other factor
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:as to why this kind of conversation
is happening in the first place.
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:In a way, you have to be a detective.
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:You have to test your own abilities,
especially when you're being
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:tested by someone, to see why that
credibility isn't being given to you.
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:Why are you not getting
that job promotion?
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:Why are you not being recognized for all
the hard work that you put in at the job?
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:Why isn't your wife giving you any
attention to the fact that you have built
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:that awesome living room, comprised of
all kinds of different features that she's
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:been looking for for all these years.
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:All these aspects, all these different
scenarios, all cumulate into one thing.
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:It's not just about testing, but seeing
how much are you willing to go the
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:distance before you give up, before you
walk away from all the things that are
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:being thought about you, misunderstood
about you, and how much are you
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:willing to set the record straight?
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:We are worthy of not only the affirmations
that we are allowed to be given, but
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:also the opportunities to be able to
grow, to learn from our mistakes, to be
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:given grace, to be able to understand
what that looks like as a whole.
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:Self worth can be very challenging,
especially when we're working through so
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:many different types of circumstances in
our life that require us to be strong,
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:to walk past fear, to know that we
have this conviction to make such a big
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:difference, whether it's in our own lives
or in the team members that we serve.
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:Teams come of all shapes and sizes,
but I know that in life, being tested
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:can also seem like it's a very negative
activity, but in a way, it keeps us sharp.
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:It keeps us realizing that we need
to keep on working on ourselves, that
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:if we are able to grow, if we're able
to determine what it means to keep
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:on working towards that common cause,
being able to go through the things that
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:might be challenged or misunderstood.
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:We don't have to react in
such a negative way anymore.
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:We now are realizing that we, as
humans, are giving an experience of
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:a lifetime because other individuals
want to see the very best from us.
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:Sure.
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:You may dispute me as much as you want
about whether that might be true or not,
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:but testing our abilities can be a very
positive activity, which is why I always
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:believe that working with someone else
to help challenge your status quo, to
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:make you feel like you're worth a million
dollars or more, means that you have
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:to go past that negative boundary; that
ability for us to say we do have that
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:ability to work on ourselves, that we
are able to have the knowledge and skills
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:to transverse any sort of plateau, any
sort of mountain, any sort of valley, any
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:type of obstacle in our lives to create
that value, because that value, through
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:the act of determination, can make us
ever so powerful in ways in which we
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:would have never, ever thought possible.
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:All my life, I've I always thought
I had to prove something, and
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:it doesn't mean that you have
to prove anything to anybody.
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:Sometimes you have to prove
it to yourself, which is why
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:you have to test yourself.
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:If you haven't been feeling comfortable
in your own skin, maybe that's an exercise
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:in which you can work on not only your
self love, but to realize that you do
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:have a number of abilities that you
bring to the table, that you do have
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:that creative outlet to help others where
otherwise you would have been told, "No!
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:You can't do that."
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:Your ability to make such a profound
difference in so many people's lives
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:through that value of determination
means that you have to clench your
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:fist, you have to grit your teeth,
you have to push through sometimes
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:the most difficult of all situations,
even when you don't like to do it.
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:Sometimes we have to do things in life
that we don't like doing, but those are
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:also moments of defining our ability to
be tested, to be able to showcase that
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:we are able to create opportunity, that
we are able to focus on that reaction
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:that we, as humans, don't always have
to rely on the negative influences.
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:If you don't know what it looks like to
be tested, write down a list today of
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:all the things that might trigger you,
all the things that might be negative,
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:and see what you can do to start testing
yourself to react more positively.
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:If you haven't been able to focus much
on your reading, maybe reading books is
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:something that you used to enjoy quite
often, getting back in that habit means
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:that you're going to test yourself to
create that lifestyle change, that habit
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:forming activity, to read something, even
if it's for 30 minutes, every single day.
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:Being able to work on your diet,
losing weight, can be such a
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:positive influence, not only on your
energy levels, but on other things
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:that you do throughout your life.
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:It has been proven that eating right and
being able to have a balanced diet can
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:lead to long living success not only for
you physically, but mentally as well.
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:Testing yourself to eat healthy means
that you might need to hire a trainer,
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:a dietician, a nutritionist, anybody
that might help you with getting on
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:that right path, but focusing on those
things, putting into question what it is
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:that those abilities that you think you
can't overcome that you can do means that
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:you have to challenge that status quo.
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:Today, for all my listeners that want
to challenge that status quo, I ask you.
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:Do you have that determination?
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:Do you have the grit, the
willingness to keep pushing forward,
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:regardless of the obstacles, to
be able to say, "Enough is enough.
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:I know my worth, and I'm going to have
you stop testing me, because I know
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:what I bring to the table is worth
so much that you could ever imagine."
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:Regardless of what that reaction is,
regardless of that credibility that
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:you're trying to prove, know this.
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:Your worth is not laid in anything
that you might do as ability,
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:but what you do by action.
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:Actions always speak louder than
words, and being able to test your
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:abilities to be able to do those
kinds of actions not only will set
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:you apart from the competition, but
also make you a better person if
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:you're willing to do the right thing.
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:If you don't know what that
right thing is, seek a coach.
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:Seek someone that has been through
this process, and I guarantee you.
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:Not only will you grow in your
relationships, your confidence,
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:your determination, but I think you
will already realize that you have
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:been worthy all along, and you had
nothing to prove to begin with.
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:Thanks for listening to episode
number 193 of Speaking From the
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:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart very soon.
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:Outro: Thanks for listening.
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:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
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:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
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:for more information about potential
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:the best version of yourself.
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:See you next time.
