Episode #28 - Connection Across Time & Shared Connection: An Interview With Kim Herbein

Intro: 00:00:00

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

Joshua: 00:00:11

Welcome back to episode 28 of Speaking From the Heart.

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Today we have a very special guest, at least for me, as this is somebody

Joshua: 00:00:19

that I haven't spoken to in over 18 years and was able to connect as

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a result of starting this podcast.

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Her name is Kim Herbein.

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She graduated with me from Oley Valley High School, which is located in Oley,

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Pennsylvania, closer to Philadelphia and more specifically Reading, Pennsylvania,

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in 2005, and attended college at Oklahoma State University where she majored in

Joshua: 00:00:45

food science and later graduated in 2009.

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She started her career in Reading, Pennsylvania with the Dairy Farmers

Joshua: 00:00:53

of America picking up where one of her internships left off, and after

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six years in that role, embarked in a journey into the pharmaceutical

Joshua: 00:01:01

testing area of Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Joshua: 00:01:04

After 2017, she actually came back to the dairy industry and then became

Joshua: 00:01:09

a quality assurance and compliance coordinator for Berkshire Dairy

Joshua: 00:01:13

and Food Products in Wyomissing, Pennsylvania, which is a subsidiary

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of the Dairy Farmers of America.

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She enjoys helping her parents out on their farm and watching

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her nephews play sports.

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She also has a blue heeler pup that keeps her busy and she has also been through

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some uncharted waters, which we get into with this episode, and I really enjoyed

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not only catching up with her, but what I didn't realize is what some of the things

Joshua: 00:01:43

that she's been through and the common threads that interweave together, even

Joshua: 00:01:48

though that we might have been separated as classmates for over half our lives.

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With that, let's go to the episode.

Joshua: 00:01:58

All right.

Joshua: 00:01:58

I'm here with Kim Herbein.

Joshua: 00:02:00

Kim, thanks for speaking from the heart with us today.

Kim: 00:02:03

Hi, Josh.

Kim: 00:02:04

It's been a long time, but it's good to reconnect with you.

Joshua: 00:02:07

Now, I'm going to say, full disclosure, for the audience that Kim and

Joshua: 00:02:11

I go back over 18 years because that's the last time I saw her when I walked

Joshua: 00:02:16

across my high school graduation stage, so yes, folks, we are classmates from

Joshua: 00:02:22

way back when, and I have to tell you, Kim, that you now earned the badge of

Joshua: 00:02:26

being the first classmate on Speaking From The Hear, so congratulations.

Joshua: 00:02:31

I have stickers made up.

Joshua: 00:02:32

I will mail one to you because I gave one just recently to another

Joshua: 00:02:36

person that has been on our show showing off their photography.

Kim: 00:02:41

Oh, that's fantastic.

Kim: 00:02:42

I will look forward to that in a mail.

Joshua: 00:02:43

Absolutely.

Joshua: 00:02:44

I have to get them made up first, so we might have to wait quite a while, but

Joshua: 00:02:49

Kim, I let the audience know everything about what you've been doing over the last

Joshua: 00:02:54

several years of your life, and I want to start off with this question because you

Joshua: 00:02:59

and I both grew up on farms, and I feel like that's the biggest passion, even

Joshua: 00:03:05

for me, although I've moved out now, it's been almost 20 years or so since I've

Joshua: 00:03:10

even picked up a pitchfork with my mom.

Joshua: 00:03:12

When you grew up in a farm setting, did you think that you would have a

Joshua: 00:03:19

career that was based around that?

Joshua: 00:03:22

Did you ever think that would be where life would take you?

Joshua: 00:03:25

I'm just curious what that has meant for you, especially as you've gone

Joshua: 00:03:29

down the path since I've last seen you.

Kim: 00:03:32

Since I was a little kid, I always wanted to stay in agriculture.

Kim: 00:03:36

I didn't think I'd be where I'm sitting today, but I definitely, ever since

Kim: 00:03:41

I've been a kid, one of my favorite animals were pigs and cows, and I loved

Kim: 00:03:45

being on the farm with my parents.

Kim: 00:03:46

I loved feeding animals.

Kim: 00:03:47

I loved showing livestock and educating the public at the fairs, being involved

Kim: 00:03:52

in 4-H and FFA, so ever since I was a little kid, I think my first

Kim: 00:03:57

dream was to be a large animal vet.

Kim: 00:03:59

I wanted to take care of cows and make sure that they were all healthy and

Kim: 00:04:02

well cared and kept for and everything, but, as I got older and as I got more

Kim: 00:04:07

in tune with the industry and the different facets of the industry, I

Kim: 00:04:11

definitely evolved, and I feel found my passion in the industry doing QA

Kim: 00:04:16

and compliance and food regulatory, making sure we have a safe food supply

Kim: 00:04:21

for the people of the United States.

Joshua: 00:04:24

Do you see that being a challenge, especially nowadays, because I feel

Joshua: 00:04:29

that having all these regulations when it comes to food and how we process

Joshua: 00:04:34

it and things; it's come a long way.

Joshua: 00:04:36

I know when both, you and I went to college, not the same school, but

Joshua: 00:04:39

different schools, I know I learned a lot about the fact that that industry,

Joshua: 00:04:44

that's been over a century old even longer, has gone through a lot of changes

Joshua: 00:04:48

because product safety was really big.

Joshua: 00:04:51

Have you seen that getting even tighter over the course of your career, and if

Joshua: 00:04:56

so, tell me a little bit about those struggles, because I'm sure that there are

Joshua: 00:05:00

some struggles when you're dealing with compliance and QA, all of those things.

Kim: 00:05:05

Oh yeah.

Kim: 00:05:06

I believe FSMA went into, which is the Food Safety Modernization Act.

Kim: 00:05:09

President Obama put that into office, I believe in 2011, and that really kind

Kim: 00:05:15

of hunkered down on a lot of regulations food manufacturers here in the United

Kim: 00:05:19

States have to adhere to, which came with a lot more paperwork, a lot more

Kim: 00:05:22

traceability, and just a lot more work on everybody's part, so we definitely

Kim: 00:05:28

see a lot more paperwork in the last 10 years in the industry than we ever have

Kim: 00:05:33

before, but it's all for the better.

Kim: 00:05:35

Audit schemes to make sure companies are checking all the boxes to make sure

Kim: 00:05:39

that they have all the parameters in place to have safe, quality food for

Kim: 00:05:43

the next step in the process because some of these manufacturing companies are

Kim: 00:05:46

making ingredients for another company.

Kim: 00:05:48

It's not even going straight to consumer.

Kim: 00:05:50

There's definitely been a lot of hurdles, a lot of challenges,

Kim: 00:05:52

still a lot of challenges.

Kim: 00:05:53

Regulations are still changing with the FDA and the USDA every day,

Kim: 00:05:57

but we're definitely getting there.

Kim: 00:06:00

It's definitely safe for the people, safe for consumers out there, and everything's

Kim: 00:06:05

done with that safety in mind, so I think that we're definitely on the right track

Kim: 00:06:09

with all the changes that we are seeing and the changes that are being made.

Kim: 00:06:14

It's just at what point do we feel we've had enough change?

Joshua: 00:06:18

Speaking of change, I've noticed that you've changed a lot over these

Joshua: 00:06:22

last 18 years when it comes to the different roles that you've had, not

Joshua: 00:06:26

only professionally, but looking at you now and thinking about the last

Joshua: 00:06:31

time I saw you, I've just seen like this big expansion in your own life

Joshua: 00:06:36

when it comes to possibilities, and I'm just curious, why have you jumped

Joshua: 00:06:42

around, because you've been in the pharmaceutical industry for a little bit.

Joshua: 00:06:46

You came back to the dairy industry.

Joshua: 00:06:48

What makes you passionate about this?

Kim: 00:06:51

I started right out of college in the dairy industry.

Kim: 00:06:54

I worked on the manufacturing side for the same company I actually work for now

Kim: 00:06:58

and that was my first job out of college.

Kim: 00:07:03

I actually got that job.

Kim: 00:07:04

I had the internship there the year prior, so I kind of

Kim: 00:07:07

already had my foot in the door.

Kim: 00:07:08

I knew what I was getting into right out of college, and coming out of

Kim: 00:07:11

college, being a broke college student, you kind of just want that security

Kim: 00:07:15

of, "Hey, I have income coming.

Kim: 00:07:17

I'm not going to have to worry about bills.", stuff like that, and I found

Kim: 00:07:21

over the six years I was working in the lab that I really liked lab work.

Kim: 00:07:25

I really liked troubleshooting problems.

Kim: 00:07:28

I have a very, I feel, scientific brain, if you will, so that kind of

Kim: 00:07:35

stuff really just sings to my heart, so equipment and testing and stuff

Kim: 00:07:40

like that, really was my passion.

Kim: 00:07:44

Unfortunately with what the position I had, I was on third shift for six

Kim: 00:07:49

years, not really a whole lot of room for opportunity and growth at that

Kim: 00:07:55

level in the position in a plant.

Kim: 00:07:57

You can only go so far, and I just needed a change.

Kim: 00:08:00

I needed to get off of third shift, I was starting a relationship with someone.

Kim: 00:08:05

I wanted to have some stability there.

Kim: 00:08:06

I didn't want to watch third shift, make another relationship in my life, crumble.

Kim: 00:08:10

I found that's when I jumped to the pharmaceutical industry.

Kim: 00:08:13

I was doing testing there as well.

Kim: 00:08:15

Completely different testing than I was used to.

Kim: 00:08:17

Completely different atmosphere than I was used to, and a big reason

Kim: 00:08:22

for that jump is I wanted to make sure I was where I needed to be.

Kim: 00:08:26

I was questioning if I wanted to be in the science field and just worry

Kim: 00:08:30

about testing or if I was truly wanting to be in the agriculture

Kim: 00:08:33

industry and where I really wanted to be, and I thought I knew that answer.

Kim: 00:08:37

In my head I was like, "Yeah, you grew up in agriculture.

Kim: 00:08:39

You want to stay there", but I felt like I needed to be sure.

Kim: 00:08:43

I had that moment of questioning myself.

Kim: 00:08:46

I didn't last in the pharmaceutical industry very long.

Kim: 00:08:48

It was about three years.

Kim: 00:08:49

it's really stressful over there, I found, and they're a lot more strict

Kim: 00:08:54

and stringent on their testing and when things go wrong and paperwork trails,

Kim: 00:08:59

and not to say the food industry isn't strict about that, but the pharmaceutical

Kim: 00:09:03

industry's a lot more strict.

Joshua: 00:09:05

That's actually surprising to hear because I would've thought

Joshua: 00:09:08

the opposite, so for me to hear this is actually eye-opening.

Kim: 00:09:12

Yeah, they take things very, very seriously over there, and that's

Kim: 00:09:16

not a bad thing, but, it is just a little too stressful for me, and I

Kim: 00:09:19

got to my breaking point early on.

Kim: 00:09:22

I knew pretty quick the pharmaceutical industry was not where I wanted to stay.

Kim: 00:09:26

I was good at what I did.

Kim: 00:09:28

My bosses and stuff sang praise to me for the job I did and everything,

Kim: 00:09:31

but it just wasn't for me, and just by happenstance, this position

Kim: 00:09:36

that I have now was newly created.

Kim: 00:09:39

I work for Dairy Farmers of America, and Berkshire Dairy in Wyomissing Pennsylvania

Kim: 00:09:46

is one of the sales of marketing arms for Dairy Farmers of America, and the

Kim: 00:09:50

office here had been pushing for a QA position and they finally decided,

Kim: 00:09:56

"Okay, it's time to create this position.

Kim: 00:09:57

We're to the point with all the documentation, the paperwork, we need

Kim: 00:10:01

someone to just take the reins and handle this", and I just so happened to see it

Kim: 00:10:06

before they had closed the applications and made a decision on hiring someone,

Kim: 00:10:11

and, they pretty much, without telling me, they hired me on the spot, hired me

Kim: 00:10:16

on the spot, so that made me feel good to kind of walk back into not only an

Kim: 00:10:20

industry, but to a company that I was already familiar with and I already

Kim: 00:10:24

enjoyed working for, so when I did get hired, it was just like coming home.

Kim: 00:10:28

I hit the ground running.

Kim: 00:10:29

I really didn't take much time at all to get my feet wet.

Kim: 00:10:32

You already know the material, you already know the regulations and the

Kim: 00:10:36

documentation and the paperwork and the day-to-day, and I feel like I'm a

Kim: 00:10:41

very strong asset here, and hopefully have a long time and a long career in

Kim: 00:10:45

my position here at DFA in Berkshire.

Joshua: 00:10:49

Are you satisfied now, because you were saying earlier about

Joshua: 00:10:53

having that level of satisfaction and trying to find that, but are

Joshua: 00:10:58

you professionally satisfied?

Joshua: 00:11:00

Are you personally satisfied that all those elements come together

Joshua: 00:11:03

with what you're doing now?

Kim: 00:11:05

I don't think I could be more satisfied right now.

Kim: 00:11:08

DFA is a dairy cooperative.

Kim: 00:11:09

We're the biggest dairy cooperative in the United States currently,

Kim: 00:11:12

and we work for our farmers.

Kim: 00:11:14

Our farmers own our cooperative.

Kim: 00:11:16

We have over 11,000 farmer members, and some of them I know personally because

Kim: 00:11:20

they're right here in Berks County, so for me to sit here and know that the work I'm

Kim: 00:11:25

doing directly impacts and benefits people I know personally outside of work is

Kim: 00:11:32

about as meaningful as it can get for me.

Joshua: 00:11:36

Before we even hit the record button, Kim and I were just catching up

Joshua: 00:11:39

over what the last 18 years have been and how this world has completely changed,

Joshua: 00:11:45

especially since we graduated high school.

Joshua: 00:11:48

Kim, my question to you is, seeing what we have seen over these years since we

Joshua: 00:11:55

walked out of those doors of Oley Valley High School: shout out to all of my alma

Joshua: 00:11:59

maters out there, Kim and I are shouting out to you, wondering, do you feel that

Joshua: 00:12:05

you were prepared when you left school to take on the world and what that has meant,

Joshua: 00:12:13

and you're already shaking your head at me, but I really would love to hear your

Joshua: 00:12:18

verbal response and so do my listeners.

Kim: 00:12:22

No, I don't think I was prepared.

Kim: 00:12:25

Could I have made it on my own if I had to?

Kim: 00:12:27

Yes, I did.

Kim: 00:12:27

I went to school halfway across the country.

Kim: 00:12:30

, I didn't know a single soul when I got there.

Kim: 00:12:32

I feel like I made it.

Kim: 00:12:34

I could handle it, but I wasn't prepared for it.

Kim: 00:12:38

I got to college and I didn't know how to study.

Kim: 00:12:42

High school was a, I don't want to say a cakewalk for me, but I didn't

Kim: 00:12:46

have to put a whole lot of effort into keeping my grades in high school and

Kim: 00:12:50

in college, I was humbled very quickly that this is going to be hard and

Kim: 00:12:55

this you need to take it a little bit more seriously than you ever took your

Kim: 00:12:59

studies before, so for me to struggle like that and have to figure out how

Kim: 00:13:04

to study at the age of 19, 20 years old, that was kind of a shock for me.

Kim: 00:13:09

Just on that aspect alone, I don't think I was ready, and I don't know if

Kim: 00:13:12

things have changed in the public school system since, but things like mortgages

Kim: 00:13:17

and taxes and 401ks and that was all very just confusing the first time I

Kim: 00:13:23

had to deal with any of that as well.

Kim: 00:13:25

You're not taught it, you're not prepared for it, and you just kind of stumble

Kim: 00:13:31

through it and hope whoever's helping you is giving you the best advice possible.

Joshua: 00:13:35

Now I'm going to mention a couple teachers that come to mind, and I think

Joshua: 00:13:38

this is going to be a blast from the past, but as soon as you started saying it, I

Joshua: 00:13:41

started thinking of, "Hmm, I wonder what those teachers were that kind of helped us

Joshua: 00:13:45

a little bit, but maybe not all the way."

Joshua: 00:13:48

I remember Mrs.

Joshua: 00:13:49

Gundrum, I don't know if you ever had her, she was the computer teacher that taught

Joshua: 00:13:53

a lot of different software, but she also did a little bit about personal finances.

Joshua: 00:13:58

Did you have her?

Kim: 00:13:59

No, I didn't, but now I think it might have been beneficial if maybe I had.

Joshua: 00:14:03

Well, Mrs.

Joshua: 00:14:04

Gundrum, if you're still around, I'm hoping you are.

Joshua: 00:14:07

Thank you for allowing me to write a check, because I've been able to write

Joshua: 00:14:10

a check ever since your class for over 20 years, and yes, I know it's a dying

Joshua: 00:14:15

art because we have the PayPal and the CashApp, but I still write a check

Joshua: 00:14:19

because my landlord still likes the paper, but I don't know if you remember Mr.

Joshua: 00:14:23

Wiacek.

Joshua: 00:14:24

I think he did teach a little bit of that too, although he was more on the social

Joshua: 00:14:28

studies side, I remember him being able to provide a lot of that for us too.

Kim: 00:14:33

I had him for economics and he did talk a little bit about investments and

Kim: 00:14:36

things like that, so it made understanding my 401k a little easier, but when

Kim: 00:14:41

you first come out of the gates, some of those terms they throw you during

Kim: 00:14:45

settlement of your mortgage and stuff, you just, it's deer in headlight season.

Joshua: 00:14:51

Mr.

Joshua: 00:14:51

Wiacek, if you're also still around with us, please, next time you should

Joshua: 00:14:55

have taught us more about mortgages, but all kidding aside, Kim, I know

Joshua: 00:15:03

exactly what you mean and I'm just baffled that you took yourself more

Joshua: 00:15:08

than halfway across the country to actually start your career path.

Joshua: 00:15:14

Can you tell us if that was a struggle even getting started too, because I know

Joshua: 00:15:19

you started to go into that a little bit when it came to adjusting with the

Joshua: 00:15:21

academics and not knowing anybody, but was there more to it than just that?

Kim: 00:15:27

Well, I think the struggle for me started when I first just applied because

Kim: 00:15:30

I didn't know where I wanted to go.

Kim: 00:15:32

I was one of the last seniors in our class to actually commit to

Kim: 00:15:35

a college I didn't commit until the end of May, our senior year.

Joshua: 00:15:39

I had no idea about that, because I think I committed in March

Joshua: 00:15:42

or April when I went to Alvernia University; shout out to my alma mater.

Joshua: 00:15:46

Go Golden Wolves.

Kim: 00:15:49

I couldn't make up my mind.

Kim: 00:15:50

That all started back in fall when I applied to schools.

Kim: 00:15:54

My mom hated me because every school had an application fee, and here I was

Kim: 00:15:57

spending all of her money to apply to all these schools, because I couldn't

Kim: 00:16:01

make up my mind where I wanted to go.

Kim: 00:16:02

I had good reason to want to go to each of them, so I narrowed it down

Kim: 00:16:06

to six, and I applied to all six, and I said, "Well, we'll get at least one

Kim: 00:16:12

rejection.", and I had a safe school that I knew I would get into no matter what.

Kim: 00:16:16

That way if I got all the rejections, I knew I was still okay, and then none

Kim: 00:16:20

of them rejected me, so while that was great, it was also really annoying

Kim: 00:16:24

because I had to make a , I was trying to figure out in the first place.

Kim: 00:16:28

So after a lot of heehawing around, a lot of talking about scholarship

Kim: 00:16:34

opportunities at these locations, programs I had to offer, judging teams,

Kim: 00:16:39

just looking at every pro and con, I finally settled on Oklahoma State and

Kim: 00:16:44

committed the end of May, about two weeks, I think, before we graduated.

Kim: 00:16:48

I committed without ever visiting campus.

Kim: 00:16:51

I did not do a single campus visit.

Kim: 00:16:53

I'm probably the only high school senior to never visit school before she commits

Kim: 00:16:58

to it, but, that was also 2004, 2005.

Kim: 00:17:02

It was the age when FaceTime and Zoom weren't available yet.

Kim: 00:17:07

The Internet was not near what it is today, so I kind of went into this

Kim: 00:17:12

all very blind, but, the second week of August, we loaded up and drove out

Kim: 00:17:17

to Stillwater, Oklahoma, and I knew from the minute I got on that campus

Kim: 00:17:21

that it was where I was meant to be.

Joshua: 00:17:26

You were able to go through and you've had this successful career.

Joshua: 00:17:31

Has there been any personal struggles for you, and if so,

Joshua: 00:17:35

how have you overcome them?

Kim: 00:17:38

Yeah.

Kim: 00:17:39

We all have different personal struggles.

Kim: 00:17:41

I was always an angsty teen, I didn't always portray it or show it.

Kim: 00:17:44

I tried to still behave in the public eye, but at home I always, like any teen,

Kim: 00:17:49

we all had the disagreements with our parents and stuff, but most recently

Kim: 00:17:54

I've just hit a very rough patch in my personal relationship and, it's been

Kim: 00:18:00

probably the hardest time of my life up to now to the point where I've actually,

Kim: 00:18:06

it's about a year and a half now, I've been in therapy, working through like

Kim: 00:18:12

just the struggles and how I got here and why I got here, how to make, if

Kim: 00:18:17

not for anything or anyone else, my life better, overcome the struggles

Kim: 00:18:21

and move into the next phase of life.

Joshua: 00:18:24

For my audience, they have heard about my struggles, and Kim,

Joshua: 00:18:28

you've been following me ever since high school too, about what those struggles

Joshua: 00:18:31

are too, and I think you have shared some of that personal connection, and

Joshua: 00:18:35

I will never underestimate the power of having somebody to be able to talk to

Joshua: 00:18:40

about it, especially a therapist that's trained to help you to professionally

Joshua: 00:18:45

process that because they have skills and counseling opportunities to do that.

Joshua: 00:18:52

You said that it's a struggle.

Joshua: 00:18:55

Is it a struggle because it's a lot to process?

Joshua: 00:18:58

Is it because of the uncertainty of where that will take you, because for

Joshua: 00:19:03

me, as I've been going through therapy and working through this therapist that

Joshua: 00:19:08

God bless her for being able to stick with me in my nonsense that I had the

Joshua: 00:19:13

first half of that time where I was lying to myself of, "Oh, I have no problem.

Joshua: 00:19:17

I have no problem.", and realizing that I was telling myself this

Joshua: 00:19:21

fake story that wasn't really true.

Joshua: 00:19:23

Have you felt like it's been a struggle because of the things

Joshua: 00:19:28

that you've had to tackle with it?

Joshua: 00:19:31

Is there anything that you could share with us that might help

Joshua: 00:19:34

bring some insight to this?

Kim: 00:19:36

I think you hit it on the head a little bit.

Kim: 00:19:38

I think the first struggle is accepting that you need help and accepting that

Kim: 00:19:43

you need to talk to somebody who you don't know and doesn't know you or your

Kim: 00:19:47

struggles so they can kind of come in as an outsider and see the truth and help

Kim: 00:19:51

you, you realize it and understand it.

Kim: 00:19:54

I didn't want to seek therapy initially.

Kim: 00:19:59

I figured I could figure this out on my own.

Kim: 00:20:01

I'm Pennsylvania Dutch, so I do have that stubborn gene.

Kim: 00:20:04

Um-

Joshua: 00:20:05

Yes, we all know what that is, and I definitely grew up right up

Joshua: 00:20:09

the road from Kutztown, which is the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch Country.

Joshua: 00:20:14

For those that are outside of Pennsylvania, you can certainly find out a

Joshua: 00:20:17

lot more if you talk to Kim and I, because we can give you a little taste of it,

Joshua: 00:20:20

but I'm sorry, Kim, I had to share that.

Kim: 00:20:23

No, it's okay.

Kim: 00:20:24

My dad's from Kutztown, so I fully understand.

Kim: 00:20:27

I have that stubborn gene and I didn't need anybody else's help.

Kim: 00:20:30

I could figure this out.

Kim: 00:20:31

This was my problem to deal with, and I was going to deal with it, and I

Kim: 00:20:34

finally got to a point where I just didn't understand my problem anymore.

Kim: 00:20:38

I wasn't even sure if I understood myself anymore.

Kim: 00:20:40

I finally got to a point where I said, "Yes.

Kim: 00:20:44

I need to work on myself and I need help doing it.", I reached out to a

Kim: 00:20:48

therapist and started initially going every week and just explaining the

Kim: 00:20:54

struggles I was dealing with in life and trying to wrap my head around it

Kim: 00:20:58

and, she's amazing, and she makes me question, "Well, why did you do that?

Kim: 00:21:04

Why did you stay in a situation?

Kim: 00:21:05

Why didn't you speak up?

Kim: 00:21:07

Why do you let people walk on you?

Kim: 00:21:09

Where did your backbone go?", and after a little bit, I finally did start to

Kim: 00:21:14

speak up again, and I finally did find my backbone that went on a vacation without

Kim: 00:21:20

me, and eventually it got to a point where I was standing up for myself again.

Kim: 00:21:25

I was saying what needed to be said.

Kim: 00:21:28

I was addressing things differently.

Kim: 00:21:29

One thing I found is I'm an emotional person when it comes

Kim: 00:21:32

to my relationships and I speak, ironically enough, from the heart.

Joshua: 00:21:38

Well, I always like a shout out for speaking from the

Joshua: 00:21:40

heart, so I know how that is.

Joshua: 00:21:42

Thanks for shouting that out.

Kim: 00:21:44

You're welcome.

Kim: 00:21:45

I do wear my heart on my sleeves more often than not.

Kim: 00:21:47

I care more about other people than I care about myself sometimes, and

Kim: 00:21:52

I only want the best for people and I take that too far sometimes.

Kim: 00:21:59

I don't care about myself enough at times, and then I become a pushover, or that's

Kim: 00:22:04

when I get walked on and she's made me see that you can care about yourself, but

Kim: 00:22:08

at the same time, not get to that point; not get to that point where you're used

Kim: 00:22:13

or walked on or overshadowed by other people taking advantage of your kindness.

Kim: 00:22:19

I still go every other week or thereabouts as best I can because I still,

Kim: 00:22:24

I don't believe anyone is ever perfect and while you might not think you need

Kim: 00:22:29

to see a therapist or that life is good right now, I feel like it always benefits

Kim: 00:22:33

to have that person in your corners if you need them, so I have kept up going, things

Kim: 00:22:38

have gotten better but I definitely think it's something that you should always

Kim: 00:22:44

have an option to do if you need to.

Joshua: 00:22:48

I find power in what you say because I would've never thought,

Joshua: 00:22:53

Kim, is somebody that grew up with you for many years before we went our

Joshua: 00:22:57

own separate ways, I would've never thought I would hear 18 years later

Joshua: 00:23:01

saying, "Yeah, I went through that.

Joshua: 00:23:02

That was very tough and I lost a little bit of myself.", and I'm encouraged

Joshua: 00:23:08

to hear that you has started to find those pieces and you continue to work

Joshua: 00:23:13

on that, even outside of therapy.

Joshua: 00:23:16

What are some of the things that you have done to continue to build that

Joshua: 00:23:20

confidence back for yourself, knowing that it was damaged, it was destructive?

Joshua: 00:23:26

How did you do that?

Joshua: 00:23:27

I think my listeners would love to know that because there are healthy ways to

Joshua: 00:23:31

do it and there is also the not healthy ways to do it, and I've seen both and I've

Joshua: 00:23:36

also been part of both in my own life and I've had to separate those things out, so

Joshua: 00:23:41

I'm curious if you could talk about that.

Kim: 00:23:43

Well, I've been lucky to have some of my really best friends and

Kim: 00:23:47

my parents behind me as a support system, so that has really helped.

Kim: 00:23:50

When I just need somebody who isn't my therapist to talk some sense into

Kim: 00:23:55

me sometimes or make me realize, "Hey, you're heading down the wrong

Kim: 00:23:58

direction", or, "Hey, you're doing really good today.", they'll give me

Kim: 00:24:02

positive reinforcement too, and I think people are so quick to point out your

Kim: 00:24:05

flaws and to point out your negatives and where you're making mistakes.

Kim: 00:24:08

You don't have enough people out there telling you, "Hey, you're doing a good

Kim: 00:24:11

job.", or, "you did this, and it's really good to see you do that again.

Kim: 00:24:14

You haven't done that in a long time."

Kim: 00:24:16

I'm really blessed to have a good support system in my corner, but I also like I

Kim: 00:24:23

said, I lost myself for a while and I wasn't doing any of the things I enjoyed.

Kim: 00:24:29

I love to go country line dancing.

Kim: 00:24:31

I love to craft in my spare time, and I love to spend time at the farm with my

Kim: 00:24:35

parents and their, the livestock and I wasn't going to my parents for a while.

Kim: 00:24:40

I hadn't been dancing in years.

Kim: 00:24:43

I just wasn't doing anything for me.

Kim: 00:24:45

I was so focused on doing things for other people, and I'm finally back to that point

Kim: 00:24:51

where I try to go out once or twice a month with friends and go dancing again.

Kim: 00:24:55

I go to my parents at least once a week again.

Kim: 00:24:57

I try to make time every week to do a craft or some kind of hobby that

Kim: 00:25:01

I enjoy, go for a walk with my dog, something that's just for me and

Kim: 00:25:06

makes me feel good and happy, and I really haven't put that time and

Kim: 00:25:10

effort into that in a very long time.

Joshua: 00:25:14

Wow.

Joshua: 00:25:15

I know that I did that to myself too.

Joshua: 00:25:17

I was an avid reader and that helped me get over a lot of my speech impairment

Joshua: 00:25:22

early on, and it still helped me to continue to build this big library

Joshua: 00:25:28

in my brain of all these different philosophies, tolerations of different

Joshua: 00:25:34

thoughts, things of that nature, and I want you to do this for me.

Joshua: 00:25:39

I want you, because obviously we are now double the age of when we were going

Joshua: 00:25:45

through high school, so here we go.

Joshua: 00:25:47

I want you to take the picture of yourself that you were when

Joshua: 00:25:50

you were half your age, okay?

Kim: 00:25:52

Mm-hmm.

Joshua: 00:25:53

And I want you to now take your other side and look

Joshua: 00:25:56

at what you're doing today.

Joshua: 00:25:58

Did you ever think that you'd be telling your 18 year old,

Joshua: 00:26:02

"Yes, I'm doing this right now.

Joshua: 00:26:03

I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life.

Joshua: 00:26:05

I think that you're going to enjoy what you're doing.", and do you ever think

Joshua: 00:26:09

that would've ever happened, that you would've led yourself down this path of

Joshua: 00:26:13

maybe feeling that way or even some of the things that you've done professionally,

Joshua: 00:26:18

and if so, or if not so tell us why.

Kim: 00:26:22

I don't think I would be; if I were 18 right now, I definitely would

Kim: 00:26:27

not have seen myself where I am now.

Kim: 00:26:29

Back to the stubborn, like when I was 18, this is what I'm going to do and I'm going

Kim: 00:26:34

to climb every mountain to get there, and I was so dead set on, this is where

Kim: 00:26:38

I was going, this is what I was doing, that I didn't really leave a whole lot of

Kim: 00:26:41

room for adjustments and change, and I think once I got to college and I started

Kim: 00:26:47

taking those classes and I really started to understand things that were truly

Kim: 00:26:51

my interests, that's when I was like, "Well, maybe I'll be happier doing that.

Kim: 00:26:56

Let me explore that a little more.", and lo and behold, I did find something I

Kim: 00:27:01

was a lot more passionate about, and it took me a struggle to even understand

Kim: 00:27:07

I needed therapy, let alone to go, so at 18, I never would've imagined I

Kim: 00:27:11

would've, I'd be in this place in my life mentally or anything like that.

Kim: 00:27:16

It's definitely not where I expect it to be, but I'm not

Kim: 00:27:19

sad with where I am either.

Kim: 00:27:20

I'm humbly content where I'm at right now.

Joshua: 00:27:25

That leads me into a very important question I have for

Joshua: 00:27:27

you because there are some people that are not satisfied with that.

Joshua: 00:27:31

They are afraid to take that first step to get self-help, and I started my business

Joshua: 00:27:37

earlier this year with the intention of trying to help people, not only where

Joshua: 00:27:42

they're at, but also get them to that next destination, whether that is through

Joshua: 00:27:46

life coaching, whether that is through professional development, whether it's

Joshua: 00:27:49

through all these different things.

Joshua: 00:27:52

When you see somebody, or you might have hear somebody saying that they're

Joshua: 00:27:56

struggling with making that decision, what would you say is your advice to

Joshua: 00:28:00

them, and it could be even these very people that are listening to this right

Joshua: 00:28:04

now, what's your message to them to help them get across that finish line so that

Joshua: 00:28:08

they are able to change that perspective of, yes, I need to go get help?

Kim: 00:28:14

I think one thing is if you have friends or family that come

Kim: 00:28:18

to you and talk to you about that, don't brush them off.

Kim: 00:28:21

They're coming to you because they're concerned and they care about you.

Kim: 00:28:24

It's not because they're trying to push you to do something or change you.

Kim: 00:28:28

Their is genuine concern there, and you might not want to hear what they

Kim: 00:28:32

have to say, but at least listen.

Kim: 00:28:33

Even if you think about it later, don't just brush them off and tell them

Kim: 00:28:37

you're not interested in what they have to say, but at the same time,

Kim: 00:28:41

self-reflection I think is always helpful.

Kim: 00:28:44

We can always sit down and look at our situations and situations

Kim: 00:28:49

we were in or encountered and look back at them and be like, "Okay, I

Kim: 00:28:53

should have handled this differently.

Kim: 00:28:54

I could have handled this better and realize where our issues are", and then

Kim: 00:28:59

once we figure out what those issues are, decide if we can change them ourselves

Kim: 00:29:03

or if we need help changing them from someone with more experience in those

Kim: 00:29:08

issues, and that's kind of, in some aspects, what led me to gain some of the

Kim: 00:29:13

help I went out and sought it, knowing I'm an emotional person and sometimes

Kim: 00:29:19

I speak before I think things through.

Kim: 00:29:22

I needed to understand, how do I control my emotions?

Kim: 00:29:26

I need to sit down and compile my thoughts and compose myself before I have a

Kim: 00:29:33

heartfelt conversation with somebody so I don't say the wrong thing or I don't

Kim: 00:29:38

speak too emotionally, and my point is clear when I'm trying to get it across.

Joshua: 00:29:44

We're getting closer to the end of our time, and this

Joshua: 00:29:47

has just been really awesome.

Joshua: 00:29:49

It feels like it's a flash from the past catching up with you and getting to see

Joshua: 00:29:54

you because I have to be honest with you, before I hit the record button, I, I'm

Joshua: 00:29:59

going to let the audience know this, Kim, because I think it's really important.

Joshua: 00:30:02

I actually apologized to her because I said I really alienated a lot of

Joshua: 00:30:07

people from high school because of some deep seated hatred that I had

Joshua: 00:30:12

from people that teased me and people that bullied me, so for all those that

Joshua: 00:30:16

are listening to me right now, I'm going to say one thing: ha, I got you.

Joshua: 00:30:21

I did it.

Joshua: 00:30:22

I was successful, and Kim, you could do the same thing, but you know what's

Joshua: 00:30:25

special about you is that you're very humble about it and you're very

Joshua: 00:30:30

persistent in continuing to still push forward even though in these things

Joshua: 00:30:35

that are happening in the background, you're making a career for yourself.

My final question is this: 00:30:39

if you are doing that, if I am stating what my

My final question is this: 00:30:45

opinion is true of you and what I've seen, of what your story has been, what

My final question is this: 00:30:52

would you say is something that has carried you through these last 18 years?

My final question is this: 00:30:57

One value.

My final question is this: 00:30:58

I want you to think about one value that has carried you forward,

My final question is this: 00:31:00

that represents this whole entire nebulous of our conversation, and I

My final question is this: 00:31:05

want you to tell us why that value and how does that apply to us?

My final question is this: 00:31:10

How can we make that apply to us when it comes to either having

My final question is this: 00:31:14

great relationships, whether we're having great confidence, maybe

My final question is this: 00:31:17

being determined to move forward.

My final question is this: 00:31:20

I want you to speak from the heart about this.

My final question is this: 00:31:23

I want you to really share it with us.

My final question is this: 00:31:25

What is it that has gotten you through thick and thin?

Kim: 00:31:31

That's a good question.

Kim: 00:31:34

I think the one thing that just keeps pushing me forward is that we're

Kim: 00:31:40

never, we don't know everything, so-

Joshua: 00:31:43

Mm-hmm.

Kim: 00:31:43

I'm constantly yearning to learn more.

Kim: 00:31:46

I'm never a know-it-all.

Kim: 00:31:48

I mean, I'm good at my job and I know my job well, but there's always more to

Kim: 00:31:53

learn and you could, just by listening to people, whether it's their life experience

Kim: 00:31:58

or actual scientific data, they're trying to tell you no matter what the topic,

Kim: 00:32:03

listening to people and understanding people, getting to know them, getting

Kim: 00:32:06

to know their stories, just shooting the breeze with a stranger on the street.

Kim: 00:32:11

You can learn so much from people and not even realize you're learning it,

Kim: 00:32:15

and then you can take some of that and carry it with you through life.

Kim: 00:32:18

Make changes of your life with some of the stories people tell you, so I

Kim: 00:32:22

think that's one thing that always just keeps me going and pushes me forward

Kim: 00:32:25

is knowing that there's so much out there that I don't know that I have

Kim: 00:32:30

the opportunity to learn and know.

Kim: 00:32:33

It just pushes me to seek more, understand people, more, gain friendships, talk

Kim: 00:32:37

to that stranger in the grocery store, even if it's just a casual passing in

Kim: 00:32:42

the chip aisle or something like that.

Kim: 00:32:44

It's just beneficial to put yourself out there and understand

Kim: 00:32:47

the people of the world.

Joshua: 00:32:50

Yeah, you're absolutely right about that, and that's what makes us

Joshua: 00:32:56

so important in this bigger picture that we call the world, because now

Joshua: 00:33:02

we're interconnecting each other with being able to understand what those

Joshua: 00:33:06

viewpoints are, learning a little bit more about what those individuals are

Joshua: 00:33:09

saying, but more importantly, we're creating that value within ourselves to

Joshua: 00:33:15

be able to touch other people's lives.

Joshua: 00:33:18

Kim, I don't know if you really knew this or not, but I held this back and

Joshua: 00:33:22

I really wanted to tell you this, is that I remember a situation in third or

Joshua: 00:33:27

fourth grade that happened to me that I didn't really understand why it happened.

Joshua: 00:33:31

I don't want to really get in particulars with the audience about it

Joshua: 00:33:34

because I'm not quite ready to share it, but lemme put it to you this way.

Joshua: 00:33:38

I don't know if you ever remember me running out of the classroom

Joshua: 00:33:41

or just freaking out all the way back in elementary school.

Joshua: 00:33:44

I know there were certain people that remember that and I remember like a few

Joshua: 00:33:49

people I kind of remember in the back of my brain as being people that really

Joshua: 00:33:54

helped influence me and keep me going and still talk to me, although I was going

Joshua: 00:33:58

through all these things and there these act outs, but you've always been that

Joshua: 00:34:02

consistent person in my life that even though we haven't talked, you've been

Joshua: 00:34:06

there and it's been one of those things of like, "Wow, this is really cool.

Joshua: 00:34:12

I never thought that I would have somebody that I knew since my childhood still

Joshua: 00:34:17

followed me in terms of what I've been doing, what I've been sharing, what I've

Joshua: 00:34:22

been going through as struggles", and I just want to say thank you for doing

Joshua: 00:34:26

that, and I want to thank you for Speaking From The Heart with us today too, with my

Joshua: 00:34:31

audience to share your story and how you have just continued to push the thread

Joshua: 00:34:39

all the way across the country and back and doing what you're doing because you're

Joshua: 00:34:44

doing an important work, and I think that we all are safe because of people like

Joshua: 00:34:50

you, so thank you for being on the show.

Joshua: 00:34:52

Thank you for being you because I really valued our friendship even though we

Joshua: 00:34:58

haven't been really great friends, and I'm part of that problem and I

Joshua: 00:35:02

know that too, but I'm fessing up.

Joshua: 00:35:04

You have inspired me, so thank you for that.

Kim: 00:35:08

Thanks for having me, Josh.

Kim: 00:35:09

I really enjoyed being able to connect with you again, and share

Kim: 00:35:13

my experiences with your viewers.

Joshua: 00:35:15

I want to thank Kim for being part of this show and being able to

Joshua: 00:35:19

reconnect with her made me realize that even with a lot of people that I was

Joshua: 00:35:24

even referring to in the episode, it has those memories that we often think about

Joshua: 00:35:31

when we are connecting with somebody that we haven't seen in a long time, and

Joshua: 00:35:36

it brings back a lot of those passions, those thrills, those excitements, but

Joshua: 00:35:43

for me, what it brought back was pain, anger, and frustration more than anything

Joshua: 00:35:49

else, and I shared that a lot with Kim even before we started the interview

Joshua: 00:35:54

because of the things that I was going through at that time, which she has been

Joshua: 00:35:59

following me for over 18 years since we graduated, and has been able to see

Joshua: 00:36:04

from a distance what that transformation has been in even my own life.

Joshua: 00:36:09

It's interesting to have people come back and see who you have become as a result of

Joshua: 00:36:16

all those things that happen in your life, and it's always an interesting perspective

Joshua: 00:36:22

to receive, and I think for myself, it's really hard to discuss or describe what

Joshua: 00:36:29

that emotion can be when you are going through something of that nature, when

Joshua: 00:36:34

you are reconnecting with somebody.

Joshua: 00:36:37

We often think about the fact that we have people in our

Joshua: 00:36:40

lives that are troublemakers.

Joshua: 00:36:43

They create frustration points for us.

Joshua: 00:36:46

We can always think about ways in which we can avoid them, disconnect from them, but

Joshua: 00:36:52

they always seem to come back at one point or another, whether we like it or not,

Joshua: 00:36:58

and I really think that for our interview, Kim really demonstrated the importance of

Joshua: 00:37:03

figuring out how to keep moving forward despite what all those priorities are

Joshua: 00:37:09

that change in our lives, but to also help us to understand the seriousness

Joshua: 00:37:14

of being able to do that despite all the things that might be occurring, and

Joshua: 00:37:19

there's things that I even learned about Kim in this episode that makes me think

Joshua: 00:37:23

about the opportunities that still exist with even connecting with others that

Joshua: 00:37:28

will eventually be part of this show as a whole, because we're sometimes not even

Joshua: 00:37:35

prepared to even handle some of the things that happen when it comes to change.

Joshua: 00:37:41

Her example of going to the other side of the country after graduating from high

Joshua: 00:37:45

school is a prime example of that, and for her to sit in that and to share how she

Joshua: 00:37:53

struggled with that, to understand that the challenges and the expectations that

Joshua: 00:37:58

we once thought of are no longer there.

Joshua: 00:38:02

There's a whole new identity as a result of all those things that

Joshua: 00:38:06

are happening, and we have to think about what those connections are.

Joshua: 00:38:11

We have to understand that we have the same tools that we usually have.

Joshua: 00:38:16

We can always think that we're going to make it through, that it's okay.

Joshua: 00:38:20

We have all those things available to us, but unfortunately that is not true, and

Joshua: 00:38:26

it happens at every stage of our lives.

Joshua: 00:38:29

I know I've learned that example numerous times.

Joshua: 00:38:32

Thinking about the things that are changing even in my own life right now,

Joshua: 00:38:35

I resonate with those that are going through those examples and even thinking

Joshua: 00:38:40

about what they're trying to do to help themselves get from point A to point B,

Joshua: 00:38:46

which has always been the premise and the foundation of many of our conversations

Joshua: 00:38:50

with the guests that we've had on this show, but it's all about accepting

Joshua: 00:38:55

that you need help, and being able to understand that need of the help so that

Joshua: 00:39:00

you are able to get assistance when it's required, and Kim talked a lot about

Joshua: 00:39:05

that, especially when it came to getting through some of the things, some of the

Joshua: 00:39:10

challenges that are involved with changing jobs, going into a whole new industry,

Joshua: 00:39:16

and being able to just take care of yourself when it really matters the most.

Joshua: 00:39:21

That's why I resonated so much with her about her journey going through

Joshua: 00:39:25

therapy the last few years, that it makes me understand a lot more about

Joshua: 00:39:29

my own therapeutic adventures that, even though I still struggle to this

Joshua: 00:39:35

day as it comes to those sort of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and

Joshua: 00:39:39

connections with others, I know that I'm going to continue to make progress

Joshua: 00:39:44

because it's all about the journey.

Joshua: 00:39:46

It's all about what I'm trying to achieve, because there's

Joshua: 00:39:50

never going to be a destination.

Joshua: 00:39:52

That's what's so beautiful about going on a journey.

Joshua: 00:39:57

Sometimes people get tired during that journey.

Joshua: 00:40:00

They might run out of money.

Joshua: 00:40:01

They might run out of clothes, they might run out of all kinds of

Joshua: 00:40:05

necessities in order to continue that path, and we often have to rest.

Joshua: 00:40:10

We have to think about ways in which we can raise money so that

Joshua: 00:40:13

we can continue on that adventure.

Joshua: 00:40:16

I know that for many of my high school friends, they have even started more

Joshua: 00:40:20

adventures for themselves, which I've been able to follow over the years

Joshua: 00:40:23

since then, and I've always been in awe and of inspiration for them

Joshua: 00:40:29

because of the opportunities that they have created for themselves and what

Joshua: 00:40:34

they are doing for families just like themselves and for others as well.

Joshua: 00:40:40

I love the fact that you have to brush off what others have to say.

Joshua: 00:40:45

It isn't that you have to absorb that, you have to reflect on that.

Joshua: 00:40:51

Composing yourself is something that we often forget about doing, and it's

Joshua: 00:40:56

really tough to do, especially when you have all these thoughts and feelings

Joshua: 00:40:59

about yourself that are often challenging and often difficult to overcome.

Joshua: 00:41:04

We need to be able to move forward when it's really important more than

Joshua: 00:41:08

anything else, but trying to move that big boulder that's in the way oftentimes

Joshua: 00:41:14

leaves us in that same position, and Kim saw that in me for many years,

Joshua: 00:41:19

and I know that she also had to go through a lot of those boulders herself.

Joshua: 00:41:25

She mentioned about the relationship that has been having problems, and I

Joshua: 00:41:29

really respect the fact that even though Kim's having these problems, she's

Joshua: 00:41:34

still finding that source of strength in order to inspire others and even then,

Joshua: 00:41:39

she's continuing to find a path for herself so that she can be able to move

Joshua: 00:41:44

forward in a direction that is needed, where it is really needed the most.

Joshua: 00:41:51

Challenges in itself often mean understanding a vast complexity of

Joshua: 00:41:56

regulations and rules, and she does that for a living, and I respect that because

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of her background and what I've been able to know about her for a number of years.

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We don't need to have all these rules and regulations remembered in the back

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of our brain because we learned those from the experiences that we're able to

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enjoy, that we're able to understand.

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As one guest formally put it, it's all about understanding the beauty

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that's within inside ourselves.

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It's understanding that acceptance of creating an opportunity of learning

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more about ourselves and getting to understand what's truly important, similar

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to what Kim has shared even with us.

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I don't know about you, but I know for many of us, we go through a lot of

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different adventures in our lives, and whether that takes us halfway across

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the country or makes us feel fulfilled, knowing that we're back home and helping

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those that we deeply truly care about, including even our parents, our cousins,

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our nephews, our siblings, or significant others, no matter who those people are,

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no matter where they're at, just know that there is always an opportunity to

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help others when that help is required.

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You don't have to have all these skills in order to be able to do that, though.

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You don't have to carry a shield around, thinking that you have to protect

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yourself from every single instance of what has happened, and you know that it

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is really important when you are able to see that version of yourself being

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able to take care of the multitude of possibilities that exist deep inside.

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Kim exemplifies the stories that many of us often have, whether that is going

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through some of the highest of the highs with being able to be promoted at work,

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being able to get married, or even being able to accomplish that puzzle that

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we've been working on with over 5,000 pieces, over the course of several months.

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Sometimes though, we are going to be in those downward trends, and that's when

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friends count the most, even if you haven't talked to them for over 18 years.

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It reminds me so much of the importance of the connection, having those

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relationships, the value of what my business is all about, and what the

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value of all of our businesses are about, whether they are for revenue generating

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purposes, or to have fulfillment in the life that we're leading.

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It's not just about all the things that we're trying to accomplish.

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It's about that connection.

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It's about understanding that we can create that value for ourselves and each

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other as the late Jerry Springer had once said, but do we need to change?

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Do we always need to be serious?

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Do we always need to be prepared?

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Sometimes it's just about living life and knowing that you can live life to the

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fullest, understanding that you are always on that constant journey of growth, and

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if you're able to do that, and if you're able to leave room for adjustments and

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change, you can also be successful just like Kim is in all that she's doing and

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she's continuing to do, because let's face it, we're all successful human beings.

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All it takes is just that first step.

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Thanks for listening to episode number 28 of Speaking from the

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Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

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Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

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