Episode 41
Episode #39 - It's Not All What It Is Cracked Up To Be: An Interview With Paula Bruckner
This eye-opening episode, wrapping up our special Wednesday episodes honoring businesses that are making an impact on the community, explores the truly uncomfortable subjects that are in our lives and making them comfortable for anyone to discuss. Our guest, Paula Bruckner, owner of My Vagina Coach, explores the struggles she had with personal issues affecting her excretory system, and how it became her mission to help women her age and older with the struggles of feeling embarrassingly uncomfortable. By bringing light to this subject, she becomes one of the most transparent guests on the episode to share why we can start the conversation of taking care of ourselves and making things normal for all of us to open up amongst each other.
Guest Bio
Paula helps Generation X women feel confident to be able to exercise without judging themselves so they can improve pelvic floor functioning through movement. Through her offerings with her business, My Vagina Coach, she provides personal training (through guided in-person and virtual classes), along with on demand opportunities that work on a wide variety of issues relating to issues that may be involved with this area of the body.
YouTube Website: https://youtube.com/@pmb152
Business Website: https://myvaginacoach.offeringtree.com/
- What Is a Death Doula? – Cleveland Clinic (https://health.clevelandclinic.org/death-doula/) - This article explains more of the concept of a death doula, which was discussed towards the end of our conversation with our guest. Learn more about the benefits of having emotional support towards the end of life for anyone that may be struggling.
Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/
Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support
Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
Intro:determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.
Intro:This is Speaking From The Heart.
Joshua:Welcome back to episode number 39 of Speaking From the Heart, and
Joshua:this is the final episode that we'll have on a Wednesday for now that we've
Joshua:been featuring several businesses that have been truly impactful in
Joshua:the ways and the unique opportunities in which they've been able to help
Joshua:serve the community as a whole.
Joshua:No matter where you live, no matter where you're at, we can always think
Joshua:of opportunities of businesses that are making a big difference and speaking
Joshua:from the heart, and I really want to thank all of the Wednesday guests that
Joshua:we've had to be able to complete this grand opportunity to give back, and I
Joshua:thank everyone that has ever supported this podcast to get to this point.
Joshua:It is deeply, imaginally, appreciative for all the things
Joshua:that you have supported me in.
Joshua:Today we have Paula Bruckner.
Joshua:Paula helps Generation X women feel confident to be able to exercise without
Joshua:judging themselves so they can improve pelvic floor functioning through movement.
Joshua:Through her offerings with her business, My Vagina Coach, which we will definitely
Joshua:talk about right in the beginning of why I have such a unique take on her business
Joshua:name, she actually provides unique opportunities through personal training
Joshua:in person or virtually along with her on demand opportunities to work through
Joshua:a wide variety of issues that might be involved with that area of the body.
Joshua:Now, let's be real.
Joshua:All of us go through these sort of situations in our lives, and the
Joshua:very things that we talk about are probably the most uncomfortable things
Joshua:that we would never imagine talking about with someone else, but me as
Joshua:a podcast host, I will say this.
Joshua:This was one of the most open conversations I have ever had about
Joshua:my fully functioning body, and even though I giggled so much with this
Joshua:episode and even some of the people I have shared this episode with, I
Joshua:will not deny for one second that all of us have gone through these sort of
Joshua:situations on our own, but the fact that Paula has lived it and is willing
Joshua:to help others defines, a whole new generation of people that can be supported
Joshua:no matter how uncomfortable it is.
Joshua:That is what truly makes people speak from the heart because
Joshua:they need this sort of help.
Joshua:With that, let's go to the episode.
Joshua:All right.
Joshua:I'm here with Paula Bruckner.
Joshua:Paula, thanks for sharing your heart with us today.
Paula:Thanks for having me.
Joshua:Absolutely.
Joshua:I have really enjoyed just our conversation before this, and yes, full
Joshua:disclosure folks, I probably will be saying vagina a lot today because that
Joshua:is the name of her business, My Vagina Coach, and I know that I am going to
Joshua:be ridiculed for the rest of my life about this episode, but that's okay,
Joshua:because I said to Paula even before we started that I'm okay with it.
Joshua:I'm just a male just living in a female world right now, and that's okay with me.
Paula:That's right.
Paula:You're going to do great.
Joshua:I am, and you're going to do great too, so Paula, I want to
Joshua:let the audience know a little bit about how you got to be able to start
Joshua:this business because they know a little bit about it and what you do.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:But can you elaborate on how you got to this point where you wanted
Joshua:to help people with the pelvic area?
Paula:Yeah, so 2021.
Paula:I had a very severe pelvic floor problem myself and it
Paula:was actually not in my vagina.
Joshua:Oh, okay.
Paula:It was in my rectum, so this is something that it can affect men too-
Joshua:Yep.
Paula:Because everybody, everybody has a rectum.
Paula:Unless you have a-
Joshua:Everybody poops.
Joshua:That's what the book I read growing up, so-
Paula:That's right.
Joshua:Yep.
Paula:So everybody poops except for me at that time.
Joshua:Mm.
Paula:So I had to go to a lot of pelvic floor physical therapy.
Paula:It was a really traumatic time for me because I was just feeling sick
Paula:all the time, and I was not able to do the things that humans do, and so
Paula:I had to go to pelvic floor physical therapy, which I didn't even know
Paula:was a thing until I was doing it.
Paula:I was going three times a week and not to get too graphic, but they massage
Paula:you internally so that the muscles can relax, so I don't do that because
Paula:I'm a personal trainer, but you can do it to yourself, and I've had to
Paula:learn how to do it to myself too.
Paula:Anyway, it was a time when I just really felt alone and I didn't feel
Paula:like anybody had ever gone through that before, at least anybody that I knew or
Paula:anybody that would talk about it, and I'm sure lots of people go through it.
Paula:The thing that I have, I think is like the statistics are a third
Paula:of women who give birth have it.
Paula:It's a fissure.
Paula:It's really incredibly painful, and so healing from that, my muscles
Paula:all tensed up in my pelvic floor, so you have a pelvic bowl inside
Paula:your pelvic muscles, and the bowl is made up of different muscles.
Paula:There's actually, I can't remember the exact number; it's either 25 or
Paula:28 different muscles down there, so there's a lot of teeny tiny, intricate
Paula:parts and some of mine were seized up.
Paula:Coming out the other side of that, I thought, "Oh my gosh, I really need
Paula:to help other people", because it was horrible and I don't want anybody else out
Paula:there to feel like they're alone and that they have to do this alone because one,
Paula:it might be taboo or two, their partner's sick of hearing them cry about it, which
Paula:my partner was definitely like, I've had enough, like this is too much information.
Paula:This is too much every day, but it's consuming when that's when
Paula:you're sick and you're struggling with just simple body functions.
Paula:It's horrible, so anyway, wanted to help people as much as I could.
Paula:While all this was happening, I was taking my 200 hour yoga teacher certification,
Paula:and right after that I launched into my personal training certification, and
Paula:so I could work one-on-one with people and then shortly thereafter, I got a
Paula:certification for corrective exercise for pregnancy and postpartum, which I
Paula:don't typically target postpartum women.
Paula:I can work with them.
Paula:My specific target is pelvic floor.
Paula:I would like to mostly work with women my age and a little bit older women who
Paula:are still peeing their pants and their kids in college or their kids in high
Paula:school and they just haven't taken the time for themselves to rectify something
Paula:that the medical world is telling them is wrong with them, and telling them they
Paula:need a cure for, which is a diaper or a period panty that you're peeing into, like
Paula:they're just telling you, "Oh, it's okay.
Paula:This is just something that's going to happen."
Paula:It's actually not okay and there is something you can do about it.
Paula:My mission is to help women who are like me, one, to be there for them if they need
Paula:a friend or somebody to talk to, whatever; I mean, I call them personal training
Paula:sessions, but you can sit there and talk to me for the whole hour if you want to.
Joshua:Can I ask you a question about that?
Paula:Sure.
Joshua:Because that's really interesting to me that there's only
Joshua:28 muscles really around that area that make a big difference into
Joshua:all the things that you listed and-
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:I was sharing with you some of my family members, more specifically my mom-
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:That has gone through a lot of different things
Joshua:in her life more recently.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:And I know that it can be very uncomfortable.
Paula:Yes.
Joshua:And I shared with you about even being uncomfortable even talking
Joshua:about this because I'm a male.
Paula:Right.
Paula:Right.
Joshua:But, but at the same time, even with the gender differences, I
Joshua:know that this is something really important and it's often overlooked, so-
Paula:For sure.
Joshua:Is there something that even as somebody like me that's maybe
Joshua:healthy in that area, and even thinking about what some of the things are
Joshua:that we could do, are there exercises essentially that we could practice?
Paula:Yes, so first, just to kind of touch on what you're talking
Paula:about, if you're a dude or if you're a lady, whichever one, if
Paula:you're experiencing constipation, or if you're peeing your pants,
Paula:because men can pee their pants too.
Paula:If you're experiencing erectile dysfunction, any of those things, they're
Paula:all considered pelvic floor dysfunction, and there are exercises you can do.
Paula:The one that has gotten the most press over the last 10
Paula:to 20 years has been Kegels.
Paula:I'm not a fan of Kegels.
Paula:I do not suggest anybody I know do Kegels, so if there's only one
Paula:thing that you retain from this conversation or this podcast about
Paula:vaginas is stop doing Kegels, please.
Joshua:Mm.
Paula:They are appropriate for some people, but for most
Paula:people, they are not appropriate.
Paula:The woman who is peeing her pants specifically, a kegel is something that
Paula:can potentially worsen the situation.
Paula:We have muscles that are hypertonic and hypotonic.
Paula:The hypotonic muscle is the muscle that's too relaxed, and sometimes
Paula:people are peeing their pants because it's hypotonic, it's too relaxed, but
Paula:usually the case is that they're peeing their pants because it's hypertonic.
Paula:Imagine this, your pelvic floor, you're holding a brick.
Paula:As the day goes on, you're holding this brick because
Paula:your pelvic floor is hypotonic.
Paula:It's too tight, so it's already gripping and try to hold this
Paula:brick, and along comes a sneeze.
Paula:That's like throwing a second brick on really quickly.
Paula:What's going to happen?
Paula:Your muscles are already fatigued, they're already gripping, and so when that
Paula:stressor comes on, the second brick or the sneeze or whatever it is, the jump,
Paula:the cough, that's when the pee comes out because the muscles can't get any tighter.
Paula:A lot of times if people are doing Kegels, it really feeds into that because they
Paula:think a Kegel is just a contraction.
Paula:If you're doing a real Kegel, you need to contract and then you need to relax for
Paula:at least twice as long as you contracted.
Joshua:Mm.
Paula:So the elasticity of the pelvic floor is really what we're after.
Paula:Some really great exercises that you can practice at home are a cat cow,
Paula:so that's when you get on hands and knees, all fours, and you arch the
Paula:back and then lower the belly towards the ground, so if you need a visual,
Paula:just Google "cat cow yoga position", and you arch the back and then you
Paula:let the belly drop towards the floor.
Paula:When you're doing this, make sure your pelvis, which is sitting on top of your
Paula:femur in your leg, which is that big thigh muscle, your pelvis during the
Paula:cow, which is when the belly is pointing towards the ground, your pelvis is also
Paula:tip towards the ground, and then when you do the cat, which is the arched back,
Paula:your pelvis is kind of tucked under.
Paula:We want to make sure that the pelvis has good rotation on that femur and
Paula:that is helping with the cat cow.
Paula:Another position you can do as a deep squat, so that would be like if
Paula:you grabbed onto a doorway when you were in the doorway and bent your
Paula:knees and took your butt down to the ground as far as you could go.
Paula:Some people are more flexible than others.
Paula:Some people can drop all the way down, and some people can only drop partially the
Paula:way down, but that's a really good one.
Paula:That actually releases the pelvic floor muscles and specifically the
Paula:back pelvic muscles because the sit bones in the pelvis, which are the
Paula:little bony protrusions, like if you stuck your hand under your butt right
Paula:now and you felt there's like a bony part in there; that's your sit bone.
Joshua:Oh, I just felt it.
Paula:Yeah.
Joshua:Yeah.
Paula:Did you feel it?
Joshua:Yep, I do.
Paula:So when you do that dropping motion in the doorway, drop your butt down.
Paula:Those sit bones come apart, and so the pelvic bowl relaxes, so
Paula:that's a really good one to do right before you do number two.
Joshua:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:Paula, I love that you're giving my listeners some tips because some people
Joshua:are probably like, "I'm never going to do this in front of my significant other",
Joshua:but I think it's really important that you do something for yourself, because
Joshua:like I just mentioned earlier, it's 28 muscles, everything has a muscle if we
Joshua:don't use it, we lose it, and I even tell my own clients about that too.
Joshua:You've got to practice when it comes to some of these
Joshua:techniques and be consistent.
Paula:Yeah.
Joshua:That's really the role of a coach, so I love the fact that you
Joshua:are open to, "Well, maybe not today, because I see that you're upset.
Joshua:Let's talk about why you're upset", because it is an
Joshua:emotional process in itself.
Paula:Yes.
Joshua:So I want to actually get into that with you.
Paula:Sure.
Joshua:Because I know what you shared earlier, your testimony, my heart goes
Joshua:out to you that you went through that.
Paula:Yeah.
Joshua:Was that painful in the sense of not just the physical, which I know there
Joshua:had to be definitely physical discomfort.
Paula:Oh yeah.
Joshua:But was there some emotional concerns, maybe some long-term
Joshua:things that even thinking about it today, is there some things that
Joshua:you still are processing with that?
Joshua:Is that something that you use as experience with your clients too, to kind
Joshua:of associate or relate to them, because I know that sometimes even for me, I have
Joshua:to be open and transparent about some of the things that I go through, because,
Joshua:to be a good coach, you should be your best authentic self, so I'm just curious.
Joshua:Tell me a little bit about that and how you kind of process that even to today.
Paula:Yeah, like I said, I felt really alone and it's hard to not have your
Paula:body work properly and I'm only 42 years old, but I can't imagine, as I age, more
Paula:and more things are going to go wrong, but this is a pretty fundamental thing.
Paula:If you're human, you need to eat, you need to poop, so not being able to
Paula:do that stuff, maybe someday when I'm 80, I won't be able to do a squat?
Paula:Okay, great.
Paula:I don't need to do a fabulous squat in order to live my life,
Paula:but I'm still going to need to be able to have a bowel movement.
Paula:It was tough, and there's not really a support network out there that
Paula:I know of, but I'm sure that I can create, so that's what I want to do.
Paula:I want to support people and let them know they're not alone because I felt
Paula:alone, and I also want to let them know that you don't have to be an exercise
Paula:queen to take care of your body.
Paula:You can do a little bit every day or every other day, and you can give
Paula:your body what it needs in order to move properly and do the things that
Paula:you need to do as a human being.
Paula:Bodies are complicated.
Paula:I tell that to everybody.
Paula:They are so complicated.
Paula:They're so hard to figure out, and especially people, just the lay person.
Paula:I mean, not everybody goes to the gym to exercise.
Paula:I'm not-
Joshua:I'm guilty as charged with that.
Paula:Right?
Paula:I'm not the personal trainer that's going to tell you, "You have to do this.
Paula:You have to do that.", but just like you were talking about before, consistency
Paula:is key so that it is that infinite, whatever, 1000%, 100%, where if you do
Paula:a little bit every day, it adds up, so I like to think about it like if you're
Paula:brushing your teeth for four minutes a day, you can also take care of your pelvic
Paula:floor for four minutes a day and have similar results to brushing your teeth.
Paula:You can keep the bad stuff away.
Joshua:I know that you have just started this.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:And first off, I want to commend you for the fact that you're bringing
Joshua:some awareness to something that even I don't think about on my daily basis.
Joshua:I'm thinking about, "Yeah.
Joshua:I have to balance my checkbook.
Joshua:I have to do the clothes and-
Paula:Right.
Joshua:Make sure I change the laundry, make sure I change my bed sheets.
Joshua:Oh yeah.
Joshua:I need to work on my pelvic area."
Joshua:This is just something that you don't normally think about, so-
Paula:Right.
Joshua:My question is this.
Joshua:I know there has to be people that are probably snickering right now,
Joshua:and I know that all of us can be-
Paula:Let them snicker.
Joshua:Let them snicker.
Joshua:That's absolutely true, but some of us are just saying, "Well, you know, I'm
Joshua:not going to be old where I need to really worry about this", so when you
Joshua:tell people, "Well, you should start now", is there a reaction that you
Joshua:generally get, and if so, like how do you address that, because not only do I
Joshua:find this fascinating, but I just feel like some people are very skeptical at
Joshua:the same time and my podcast has always been about diffusing the skeptical and
Joshua:just taking charge of being able to do the things that you need to do in order
Joshua:to take care of business, and that's including this kind of business, so-
Paula:For sure.
Joshua:Yeah.
Paula:So I'll give you two answers to that because there's
Paula:two things that are coming to mind.
Paula:One, if nothing else other than don't do kegels comes out of you
Paula:listening to this, the other thing is get yourself a squatty potty.
Paula:If there's nothing else you do to take care of your pelvic
Paula:health, then get a Squatty Potty.
Paula:If you bring your knees above your pelvis when you're having a bowel movement,
Paula:then it puts your rectum, which is the exit door, the rectum comes through
Paula:the tissue and the butt, it aligns everything properly so that the feces
Paula:can pass through, so if nothing else, don't laugh because you have to poop.
Paula:Everybody has to poop.
Joshua:Yep.
Paula:Right?
Joshua:Yep.
Paula:So there's that.
Paula:The second answer to this is, nobody comes to me and says, "I need to be made aware
Paula:of this", or "I didn't know about this."
Paula:Everybody who has been drawn to me are people who feel like I do.
Paula:They feel like they've either been through physical therapy or they
Paula:need physical therapy, or physical therapy didn't work, or they don't
Paula:know what to do with themselves.
Paula:They're still peeing, they're still having pain.
Paula:They're still having pain with sex.
Paula:They can't have sex.
Paula:There are so many things that I think, especially women don't talk about and
Paula:don't have a recourse, like, let's just think about it for a second.
Paula:A man can't have an erection.
Paula:We have a pill for that.
Paula:A woman is peeing her pants.
Paula:Most every single mother who has had a child inside of her pees their pants.
Paula:Almost all of them, like literally, how many times have you heard a mother tell
Paula:their child, you're the reason I pee.
Paula:I have-
Joshua:I've heard that a lot growing up.
Paula:I can't jump on the trampoline, right?
Joshua:I'm sorry, mom, if you're listening to this,
Joshua:I have heard you say that.
Joshua:I'm just going to acknowledge that and I understand now from listening to Paula.
Joshua:Go on, paula.
Paula:So a lot of people, I think, are just drawn to my message
Paula:because I'm talking about it.
Paula:A lot of women are okay with saying, "Okay, yeah, I pee my pants, or I have
Paula:to cross my legs when I sneeze, or this or that", but not many women are going
Paula:to come out and say, "I can't have sex with my partner because it hurts to
Paula:insert", or, "I can't poop because I have a fissure because when during childbirth,
Paula:I ripped", or whatever the case may be.
Paula:It's almost like the peeing thing is okay, but the other stuff not
Paula:okay to talk about, and I'm here to tell you it's okay to talk about it.
Paula:It's okay to be emotional about it, and it's okay to get help about it.
Joshua:With that said, you provide coaching opportunities
Joshua:for people like that, so-
Paula:Yes.
Joshua:Can you walk me through like what a typical conversation would be
Joshua:for somebody that would be interested, just so that our audience sort of has
Joshua:an understanding of, when we meet Paula-
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:It isn't just about a vagina coach, it's about so much more, which
Joshua:you have really gotten into the weeds.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:Literally the shit about-
Paula:Yeah.
Joshua:So I'm kind of curious how you do that.
Paula:My ideal client is somebody who wants to come
Paula:see me for personal training.
Paula:I also offer yoga classes online and in person, and I am hoping to add,
Paula:like you said, a coaching component.
Paula:I have a beta program right now, which could very well be more than
Paula:a beta program when this comes out.
Paula:If you come to me and you say, I'm having X, Y, Z, typically, if it's
Paula:something that has been pervasive and is affecting your quality of life, I'm
Paula:going to want to see you one-on-one for at least 12 sessions, at least.
Paula:It's probably going to take more like three to six months.
Paula:We can address it as quickly or as slowly as you want, and it's also
Paula:going to depend on are you going to do the homework that I give you.
Paula:How invested are you in it?
Paula:I do take on postpartum clients.
Paula:I love working with them.
Paula:I also take clients who are older.
Paula:I just had a lady come in today who's 63.
Paula:If you do come to me in person, I have a litany of questions I ask you.
Paula:Nothing's off limits, because I'm not going to come home and talk to
Paula:my husband about that information.
Paula:I'm going to make a treatment plan based on what your answers to your questions
Paula:are and how your body is moving.
Paula:A lot of these things can actually be healed or minimized with exercise and I am
Paula:trained to watch and see what's happening and figure out how to correct that.
Paula:That's the nature of the certification that I have.
Paula:The other thing is if you're just saying, "Oh, I need like a maintenance plan",
Paula:or, "I kind of want to do this, but I'm not sure it's for me", or this or that,
Paula:I have in-person yoga classes, I work at a yoga studio called Just Plain Yoga.
Paula:On Thursday night at 5:30, we have a pelvic floor yoga class.
Paula:It's pretty well attended.
Paula:It's in the Camp Hill area and people come from all around to participate;
Paula:Harrisburg area and surrounding.
Paula:You can also take that online, so if you are further away, we do a hybrid model so
Paula:you can take the class live and then you can have access to the video for 24 hours.
Paula:With My Vagina Coach, I have another program that's
Paula:called Morning Yoga Program.
Paula:That's 10 to 15 minutes twice a day.
Paula:That's like the brushing your teeth version, right?
Joshua:Yep.
Paula:And those are recorded and if you want to watch them, they're available
Paula:to you with my membership for a month, so you'll get two lives a week with me
Paula:on Zoom, and then the rest of the days of the week, like if you want to do it
Paula:five days a week, you can have access to the video recordings and watch them and
Paula:quote, unquote, brush your teeth with me.
Joshua:Paula, I appreciate you sharing all that, because I think for
Joshua:some people just having that access to it is really important so that-
Paula:Yeah.
Joshua:They can work on those sort of things as well, and it's all
Joshua:about access and just being able to-
Paula:Yes.
Joshua:Provide not only the knowledge that you personally have
Joshua:experienced; the firsthand accounts-
Paula:mm-hmm.
Joshua:But even the people that you interact with and, which is my next
Joshua:question, because I've worked with a lot of people since I've been open, and I
Joshua:know that you've just started yourself.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:Is there somebody that comes to mind, and again, I always say to
Joshua:people, please don't mention names.
Joshua:You don't have to mention their names.
Paula:Of course I won't.
Joshua:Yeah.
Joshua:Yeah, and I respect the confidentiality because I think that's really important
Joshua:so that we can build that trust and relationship with people, but is there
Joshua:somebody that stands out in your mind that you've already, in your short
Joshua:time, started with this and said, "wow, I'm making a great impact and
Joshua:that person was the reason why."
Joshua:Can you elaborate a little bit on that feeling of euphoria or
Joshua:what that person did to really achieve what they're going through?
Paula:Yeah, so I have been working with a young lady, she's postpartum a year.
Paula:She had twins.
Paula:She was on bedrest, so a lot of strikes on her pelvic floor, her poor pelvic floor.
Paula:She started with me.
Paula:She was very down on herself.
Paula:She had gained some weight.
Paula:She was having a lot of problems, and the twins are getting bigger, they're
Paula:active, they keep gaining weight, and she's not able to keep up with them.
Paula:We've been working together about six months now, and she has made
Paula:a lot of progress and I will tell you, she is very determined.
Paula:She does all the homework, because she wants to get her body, quote unquote,
Paula:back in shape, but really what she's doing is keeping up with her children.
Paula:She's able to lift them at 20 pounds.
Paula:She's going to be able to lift them when they turn 30 pounds.
Paula:She's still going to be able to lift them when they turn 40 pounds
Paula:because she's sticking with it.
Paula:She's getting stronger and we've rehabbed her core, so basically, especially once
Paula:you've been pregnant, if you think about a person from the side looking at them
Paula:from the side, the rib cage goes up because there's a big baby bump, so like
Paula:chest goes up, rib cage goes up, that's called rib flare, and then the pelvis
Paula:tilts down because big baby bump, so just imagine a pregnant lady with a big
Paula:belly, pelvis, turns down, ribcage, turns up, you have the babies, and guess what?
Paula:Just because the babies aren't there anymore doesn't mean that stuff gets
Paula:unstuck, so you have to do a lot of work rehabbing that and she has done
Paula:a fantastic job and I'm super proud of her and all the gains that she has
Paula:made, and it has been super rewarding to watch her use the tools that I've given
Paula:her and get herself to a point where she's like, "I'm not fatigued when I
Paula:take my babies to swim lessons anymore."
Joshua:Is this different from being a doula?
Joshua:I've heard that-
Paula:Oh, yeah.
Joshua:Term too.
Joshua:Can you talk about that for our audience, because I know people
Joshua:know what a doula is, but-
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:Can you distinguish the difference between that, because
Joshua:I think that's really important.
Paula:I only know a little bit about what a doula is.
Paula:A doula is a person who can help you through the birth.
Joshua:Yes.
Paula:Don't know if doulas help after the birth.
Joshua:I'll help you.
Joshua:I'll help you out.
Joshua:WebMD.com mentions-
Paula:Okay.
Paula:Thank you.
Joshua:That a doula is a person who provides emotional and physical support to
Joshua:you during your pregnancy and childbirth.
Joshua:They're not medical professionals.
Joshua:They don't deliver the babies or provide medical care.
Paula:Right.
Joshua:But they have been trained, they usually pass an exam to help
Joshua:women, pregnant women especially, and their families during that experience.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Paula:Yeah.
Joshua:So hopefully that helps a little bit.
Paula:Yeah, so they're more, let's just say of a person who can help
Paula:you through more emotionally or say, "Oh, I had this during my pregnancy.
Paula:You're doing okay.
Paula:This physical thing is okay", or whatever.
Paula:They're not a doctor, they're not a trainer.
Paula:They're not really a coach.
Paula:They're doula.
Paula:Did you know there's also death doulas, so you can have somebody go through
Paula:death with you as well as birth?
Joshua:I had no idea.
Paula:Yeah.
Joshua:And I've been learning a lot.
Joshua:Apparently it wasn't just about vaginas, it was about death doulas.
Joshua:Now I'm going to have to go Google that for my listeners.
Joshua:I might have to put a link in about what a death doula is in case you're
Joshua:interested, but I'm sorry, go on, Paula.
Joshua:Yes.
Joshua:I never heard of that before.
Joshua:I'm going to go learn some more though.
Paula:Well, I highly suggest interviewing a death doula.
Paula:It's really interesting.
Paula:A friend of mine became one, so I know more about death
Paula:doula than I do birth doula.
Joshua:Public service announcement real quick, if there is a death
Joshua:doula listening to this episode, please get in contact with me.
Joshua:podcast@yourspeakingvoice.biz.
Paula:That's right.
Paula:That's right.
Joshua:Go ahead.
Paula:So they actually, I guess, almost like hospice.
Paula:If you know you're dying or even if you just think you're at the end of life,
Paula:let's say you're 65, and you're like, "Okay, I want to have death doula just
Paula:in case", they go through all your whole life with you, and they talk about
Paula:your regrets and your accomplishments, like so many things that they can go
Paula:through with you and sometimes they can help people really get a lot of
Paula:resolution and I think sometimes when people get that resolution, especially
Paula:when they're kind of on death's door, it gives them enough to kind of tap out.
Joshua:Yeah.
Paula:And say, "Okay, this is it."
Joshua:Wow.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:Paula, we're near the end of our time, but-
Paula:Let's talk more about vagina, come on!
Joshua:Conveniently enough, we're near the end of our time here, but I do
Joshua:want to give you the last few minutes.
Joshua:Give us a nice recap because you've been awesome to just be so open
Joshua:and share all this information.
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:If people want to reach out to you and-
Paula:Mm-hmm.
Joshua:Just learn more, maybe have more of a specific conversation with you
Joshua:about somebody in their family, maybe something that they're going through-
Paula:mm-hmm.
Joshua:Can you just tell us a little summary of your business and how
Joshua:they can get in contact with you?
Joshua:I'll give you the last few minutes.
Paula:Thank you.
Paula:If you go to my website right on the very front of my website, there's a
Paula:little button where you can say, book a call, and that book's a 15 minute
Paula:call with me and you can figure out if we're a good fit to work together,
Paula:whether that's at a yoga class at Just Plain Yoga, in my morning yoga program
Paula:like we talked about, where it's kind of like that maintenance, brushing your
Paula:teeth type thing, or if you want to work with me one-on-one personal training.
Paula:I currently don't have any clients via Zoom, but I'm not opposed to
Paula:that, so if you're far away and you're listening to this, I can
Paula:take clients on in that nature.
Paula:I will also have my coaching program a little bit further through beta and it
Paula:will be more of a personal training style coaching program with exercises that
Paula:you can do to help your yourself out.
Paula:Like I said, I am not a huge proponent of like exercise, exercise, exercise.
Paula:My platform is actually I help Gen X women feel confident to exercise without
Paula:judging themselves so that they can fix pelvic floor dysfunction through movement,
Paula:so that's kind of my big platform.
Paula:Stop judging yourself.
Paula:You don't need to judge yourself.
Paula:You don't have to be this size or have this amount of fat or
Paula:look like this or have lashes.
Paula:We just want you to not pee your pants.
Joshua:Paula, first off, there has been many times in my life that I
Joshua:thought, "Man, it'd be really cool to talk to somebody related to this
Joshua:sort of thing", and there's been other times in my life I'm thinking, "Why
Joshua:did I ever get myself into this?"
Joshua:I've had a lot of mixture of emotions before I even hit the record
Joshua:button, folks, about this whole interview, but Paula, I want to be
Joshua:honest with you because I like to speak from the heart for a moment.
Paula:Thank you.
Joshua:There's a lot of people that go through this sort of stuff, and
Joshua:they don't take it seriously, and for you to take it seriously, given what
Joshua:your experience has been, and to do it in a way that helps others: bravo.
Joshua:I really mean that because a lot of people can easily say, "Yeah, whatever.
Joshua:I think I'm just going to pass on this and not really think about it", but when
Joshua:we start to make decisions like that and we start to build that upon everything
Joshua:that we ever do in our lives that, "Oh, we'll get to that later", or, "Eh, I'm
Joshua:not interested", it starts to become our mindset, and I find that your mindset
Joshua:is something that is impeccable because not many people would say, "I want to
Joshua:play around with pee and poop", or, "I want to deal with all kinds of different
Joshua:things that come from the body and all kinds of excrements", but here's the deal.
Joshua:We all go through it.
Paula:Yes.
Joshua:And that's part of us being human, that-
Paula:Yes.
Joshua:Those are going to be uncomfortable subjects, but if we're
Joshua:able to ask for help, that's what's truly important, and I think that
Joshua:you are providing a service that is allowing people to have that hope,
Joshua:and I want to give you some words of encouragement somebody that is
Joshua:starting out myself as a business.
Joshua:You talked earlier about the community and trying to form something like that
se there's not many out there:do it.
se there's not many out there:I'm not kidding.
se there's not many out there:Do it, because it's so helpful to just surround yourself with people that have
se there's not many out there:gone through it, or currently going through it, might be in the starting
se there's not many out there:process of going through it, because they're still waiting for a diagnosis
se there's not many out there:and you've dispelled a lot of myths on this episode about the importance of
se there's not many out there:doing that, so for that, Paula, thank you for sharing your heart with us today.
se there's not many out there:Thank you for Speaking From The Heart, and I really hope much success for
se there's not many out there:you, not only in the continuing of your business, but to also captivate
se there's not many out there:and dispel the myth that it's okay to talk about vaginas and talk about the
se there's not many out there:pelvic area because if Josh Smith, this podcast host can do it, being a male-
Paula:You can do it.
Joshua:Anybody can do it, so thank you Paula.
Paula:Thank you, I do, just real quick, now that you said that,
Paula:I do have one community outreach program that I do that is free.
Joshua:Great.
Paula:It's a monthly book club.
Paula:It's at Just Plain Yoga.
Paula:It's on Thursday night, so if you want to come and go to my class and
Paula:go to the book club, it's the fourth Thursday of the month and we read
Paula:different either self-help books or books about sex or vaginas or menopause.
Paula:We have on tap the Good Sex RX, the Vagina Bible, a couple Brene Brown books
Paula:so far this year, if you check that out-
Joshua:Brene Brown is my most favorite author ever, so I have a couple of
Joshua:her books on my bookshelf behind me.
Paula:Yes, maybe you'll come since it's only in Camp Hill.
Joshua:It's true.
Paula:On a Brene Brown month.
Joshua:I'll tell you what, you send me the invitation.
Joshua:I just might.
Paula:Okay.
Joshua:Paula, thank you again.
Joshua:I appreciate it.
Paula:You're welcome.
Paula:Thank you.
Joshua:I want to thank Paula again for being on the show and being the
Joshua:most completely open person that I have ever interviewed or potentially ever
Joshua:interview on Speaking From The Heart, because let's face it: did you know that
Joshua:you had 28 muscles in your pelvic area?
Joshua:I didn't.
Joshua:Did you think that we would talk about Kegels and not doing them?
Joshua:I didn't think so.
Joshua:Did you think that we talk about rectums and vaginas?
Joshua:I certainly thought in a million years that I would never have to
Joshua:approach that subject, but here we are, but that's the deal.
Joshua:Sometimes life throws amazingly difficult curve balls in which you have to
Joshua:literally catch, and that's the whole thing is that Paula saw me laughing
Joshua:so much during this before we even hit the record button, and she understood.
Joshua:As a matter of fact, she was so understanding that she was even the one
Joshua:calming me down before we even hit the record button, because it was one of those
Joshua:subjects that you often don't hear about, but we all go through it and I know that
Joshua:you listening to this, you might have somebody that you know, even if you're
Joshua:not going through it, someone else is, and we have these generations that are
Joshua:going through all kinds of different medical issues that, even in the last
Joshua:century, we never saw would ever emerge.
Joshua:Let's talk about the things that we do want to talk about then if we're really so
concerned about it:cancer, heart disease, emphysema, heart palpitations, chronic
concerned about it:heart failure, indigestion, Crohn's.
concerned about it:Those are some of the many things that I've heard in my life with some
concerned about it:of the family members that I have going through some of those things,
concerned about it:but yet, do we laugh about that?
concerned about it:Absolutely not.
concerned about it:Why should we laugh about these sort of things, even if they
concerned about it:are the most embarrassing?
concerned about it:Now I get it.
concerned about it:Maybe some of you listening to the episode are thinking, "Well, I
concerned about it:wasn't laughing at all, so I don't know why you were laughing, Josh."
concerned about it:Touche, touche, and I totally understand that, but yet, even with the things that
concerned about it:we had to go through with this episode and talk about, and even though it made
concerned about it:me uncomfortable, it made me feel sick to my stomach that we had to talk about it,
concerned about it:it made me glad that we did talk about it.
ften ask the question then of:What are some of the things that make us
ften ask the question then of:absolutely sick of talking about, because we're so afraid of being unwilling to
ften ask the question then of:share in those uncomfortable moments?
ften ask the question then of:Paula is one of those guests that has now defined my whole entire podcasts because
ften ask the question then of:she has been able to share some things that often we don't want to talk about.
ften ask the question then of:We often feel discouraged because if we did share it with somebody, it would be
ften ask the question then of:so embarrassing that that other person would never feel the same way again.
ften ask the question then of:It isn't about maturity because sure, maybe I needed to grow up a bit, but
ften ask the question then of:yet at the same time, it's about the maturity of knowing that we all go
ften ask the question then of:through these different experiences and having the respect, no matter
ften ask the question then of:where we're at with those situations, is what's so vitally important.
ften ask the question then of:Now it's true.
ften ask the question then of:I have clients that come through the door and do talk about some of the
ften ask the question then of:most embarrassing things in their lives, but it's not about pee or poop.
ften ask the question then of:It's not about vaginas or dicks.
ften ask the question then of:It's not about all those different types of body organs that we often giggle about
ften ask the question then of:we often don't say, because we know that it can be viewed as being very, very
ften ask the question then of:embarrassing and not appropriate, but did you know that there was a death doula?
ften ask the question then of:I didn't know that either, and here we are at the very end of the
ften ask the question then of:episode talking about death doulas.
ften ask the question then of:I had no idea that people would do that to make their end of life more
ften ask the question then of:comfortable, but that's the thing.
ften ask the question then of:Don't judge, because you don't know where those people have come from.
ften ask the question then of:It's so easy to fall into the trap of judging, and it's in the same category
ften ask the question then of:as being able to make a stereotype about someone or some class of people, and you
ften ask the question then of:know that not all people are the same way.
ften ask the question then of:We're all unique as I even said in a more recent episode with one of my
ften ask the question then of:guests, talking about the fact that we all have a unique identity in which
ften ask the question then of:we can share, that we can create, and that we're able to do what is necessary
ften ask the question then of:or what is really the priority.
ften ask the question then of:We have to find ways in which we have to adapt, even if that means we have
ften ask the question then of:to get our old squatty potty out and do it the way that we learned going back
ften ask the question then of:to basics, and that's what I truly most utterly respect about Paula and anything
ften ask the question then of:else that she said in this episode, whether you agree with it or not,
ften ask the question then of:because these are the things that allow us to understand the human condition.
ften ask the question then of:This allows us to understand that there can be relief from the different
ften ask the question then of:types of things that we go through.
ften ask the question then of:These are the things that allow us to perform the exercises that can
ften ask the question then of:be life altering and change the outcome of the rest of our lives.
ften ask the question then of:That's exactly what I do for my clients, whether that is through life coaching,
ften ask the question then of:whether that is through business development, whether that is through
ften ask the question then of:professional development, whether that is being a better public speaker.
ften ask the question then of:Those are the things that we're able to create quality for, and even if we
ften ask the question then of:have those setbacks, just like Paula did for many, many, many years, we
ften ask the question then of:can still stand up and know that we are able to walk confidently forward
ften ask the question then of:working through some of the most embarrassing things that often we don't
ften ask the question then of:realize are happening to each other.
ften ask the question then of:We need to have more awareness.
ften ask the question then of:We need to pay attention.
ften ask the question then of:It is just one of those things that we've even talked about in some of the more
ften ask the question then of:earlier episodes of this podcast, and it's all about being an active listener,
ften ask the question then of:but now Paula has taken it to a new stage in which I have to elaborate more on
ften ask the question then of:because it's not just the active listening in which you are able to discuss and
ften ask the question then of:articulate what that other person said because you've been paying attention.
ften ask the question then of:It means about fully understanding; living in that person's shoes for one minute,
ften ask the question then of:and knowing that you can go through that experience of feeling uncomfortable.
ften ask the question then of:In Toastmasters, we have something quite like that called a Table Topic.
ften ask the question then of:If you ever visit a Toastmasters Club as a guest, you'll always have that opportunity
ften ask the question then of:to do that, in which you speak one minute extemporaneously about a subject that
ften ask the question then of:is given to you, and for those that have never tested that theory before of trying
ften ask the question then of:to speak for one minute, especially if you have never done it before, it is
ften ask the question then of:the most uncomfortable, embarrassing thing that you ever thought possible.
ften ask the question then of:You almost want to sit down and be forgotten.
ften ask the question then of:You'd wish that you never got called on or even volunteered because
ften ask the question then of:guests are optional in participating.
ften ask the question then of:If you think that's embarrassing, if you think that that's really
ften ask the question then of:discouraging, then I think then you really understand why I did this
ften ask the question then of:episode then in the first place.
ften ask the question then of:I could have said to Paula, "No way.
ften ask the question then of:Why would I ever have a business called My Vagina Coach on Speaking From The Heart?
ften ask the question then of:Do I speak from my vagina?
ften ask the question then of:No, I speak from my mouth.
ften ask the question then of:It's not in the pelvic area", but that's the whole point of this.
ften ask the question then of:We all know that we can be very uncomfortable with some of the things
ften ask the question then of:that we normally don't want to do, and Paula is testing that theory and
ften ask the question then of:pushing it to become more comfortable.
ften ask the question then of:She is the epitome of what this is all about: being able to become
ften ask the question then of:comfortable with the uncomfortable.
ften ask the question then of:Being able to learn from the different varieties of different
ften ask the question then of:opportunities that we have in our lives.
ften ask the question then of:This is what it's all about because we can do this.
ften ask the question then of:If we're willing to do this, we can learn from each other.
ften ask the question then of:We can push through.
ften ask the question then of:We don't have to judge.
ften ask the question then of:We can work those 28 muscles in a pelvic area and be even more healthy
ften ask the question then of:than we ever thought possible.
ften ask the question then of:That is why this was the most important episode yet to do, because
ften ask the question then of:we are learning to not do this alone.
ften ask the question then of:We are learning that we have to give ourselves the priority.
ften ask the question then of:We know that the longer that we feel embarrassed and afraid, we're never going
ften ask the question then of:to make progress, but what if we just took us short amount of time and we worked
ften ask the question then of:on ourselves just a little bit each day?
ften ask the question then of:Those days turn into weeks.
ften ask the question then of:Those weeks turn into months.
ften ask the question then of:Those months turn into a year of improving ourselves, and that is the most
ften ask the question then of:important thing that we could ever do to treat ourselves, not only with respect,
ften ask the question then of:but with confidence, relationships, and determination combined into the
ften ask the question then of:ultimate best version of ourselves.
ften ask the question then of:That is what makes this truly important.
ften ask the question then of:Thanks for listening to episode number 39 of Speaking from the Heart, and
ften ask the question then of:again, thank you so much to all the businesses featured on these Wednesday
ften ask the question then of:episodes, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.
Outro:Thanks for listening.
Outro:For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From
Outro:The Heart to subscribe and be notified wherever you listen to your podcasts.
Outro:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential
Outro:services that can help you create the best version of yourself.