Episode #69 - The Spirit Of Our True Values

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 69 of Speaking From The Heart.

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Today, we're going to talk about the

spirit of our true values, especially

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as we get closer to some of the biggest

holidays of the entire year, probably even

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some of the holidays that you've already

celebrated, and I think that we always

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have this impression that we have to work

so hard during this whole entire year that

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now it's the time to kick up our feet on

the table, especially after we ate a big

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meal, and just let go of all the things

that we have worked on this past year,

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but I think having values, especially the

spirit of those true values that we want

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to work on the most, often requires us to

understand truly the importance of what we

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have really worked on more than anything

else in our entire lives, and we have to

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realize also that the essence of who we

are has now changed because of all that

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hard work that we've done this past year.

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Do we really want to go back and fold on

all the things that we have made progress

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on, because we definitely have those times

of the year in which we get to relax, we

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get to enjoy, we get to even indulge in

some other aspects of our lives that we

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often put off, but even as we take that

time off that is desperately needed and

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well deserved, or even just put that time

aside where we work with other people to

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maybe help ourselves realize that progress

that we've made, we have to understand

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that there are ways in which we can

easily get off track with our personal and

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professional goals that we're working on.

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Today, I really want to talk about

what some of these busiest moments

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of the year can do to us, and how

we can prevent the ways in which

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those toxic moments can happen.

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I think that we have to start

first with what actually creates

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these moments in the first place?

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Now, I have been an advocate for months

now, with all of you, about the importance

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of not only working on yourself, but also

helping others, and there's been a number

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of episodes in which I've discussed this,

but now we put the true test into action,

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where we actually say to ourselves,

"What are we going to do to continue

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the momentum of what we're working on?"

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I mean, let's face it, with less than

a week away from Christmas, let alone

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less than two weeks away from the New

Year, we have to be ready for what

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is going to be on the other side of

that journey that we are embarking

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on, and it means that we have to also

work on the foolproof ways in which

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we can continue to stay on that track.

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I get it.

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You want to take that long, desperate

break that you always wanted, but what

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are you going to do during that break?

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Are you going to read something in which

will empower you, maybe enrich you with

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new knowledge, skills, and abilities

that will test you and even help you in

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the new year, especially as you embark

on those new goals that I hope you've

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been working on' but what about exercise?

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Are you actually working on yourself in

order to create not only that healthy

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mindset in the inside, but also on the

outside, so that you feel good, look good,

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and maybe even put on a new outfit that

maybe even makes you feel special inside?

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I think that you also need to consider the

fact that we have to also work on some of

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the things that we've been putting off.

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What about that chore list?

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Have you gotten all those things done that

you always wanted to do this past year?

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Have you even worked on some of the

things that you want to journal about?

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Maybe you haven't written down some of the

things that have happened to you recently,

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even the last three or six months.

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Is this the time now, especially in

the quietness, before the loudness

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happens, in which you can write

down and reflect on some of the

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things that you've been able to do?

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Now, in some parts of where you live,

maybe it is getting colder, maybe it's

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even getting warmer where you live,

and I know for some of my international

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audience, I'm very envious of you because

I wish that it was getting warmer as

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opposed to getting colder, especially

as we enter the winter equinox here in

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the United States, but I think that we

have to understand, too, that even with

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the weather changing and even the season

changing, what is it that you're doing

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to create that change for yourself?

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I often feel that this opportunity that we

have to reflect and encourage others often

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means that we have to work with others

to do this, but it doesn't necessarily

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mean that we have to do it all alone.

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I think that if you are not doing the

right things in your life, this is

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the time to think about what are those

things that are in the wrong so you

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can do them right once and for all.

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It might mean even pulling out a sheet of

paper, just reflecting on what you have

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seen and observed in just a few days,

especially if you just started taking

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off some of that desperate time that

you needed, but it might be also asking

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family and friends and acquaintances

what can I do better for the new year?

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Some of you might be receiving

performance evaluations at work in

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which your boss is telling you, "You

did good in this area, but I need you

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to pick it up in this other area."

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What can you do to ensure that you are

working all around in the terms of the

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ideas in which you want to create, not

just for who you are in the new year,

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but what you have on your plate now,

in order to accomplish what's ahead?

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Now, for the last six minutes, I've

probably talked in a lot of theoreticals,

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and probably there are some things

that have already developed into

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your mind, as to what you can do, and

what you can achieve, but I want to

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challenge you on something even more

than just what you are looking at doing.

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I actually want to look at what you

might be having frustrations about,

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and maybe you're not being heard about,

so that you can get the help that you

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desperately need to be able to create that

progress, unlike other times of the year.

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This is not the time to be lazy.

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This is not the time in which

you sit back and think that you

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can do nothing to help yourself.

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If anything, that creates atrophy, not

only physically in your muscles, in

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which you're feeling weak, and you're

feeling that everything is wasting away,

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but you also want to work on the things

in which you might be doing on the day

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to day in order to create new routines.

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There have been many studies that have

been done by scientists, let alone

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other college students for that matter,

that habits can form very easily,

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especially if there are vices in our

life that we often shouldn't be doing,

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or trying to do, in the first place.

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Whether it's drugs, alcohol, sex,

whatever those vices are that you might

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be indulging in; cigarette smoking, maybe

even playing cards or gambling, maybe

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even doing derogatory post on Facebook,

Instagram, X, whatever your case might be.

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Is it really helping you and your

cause, to just swoon around, thinking

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that you are going to be doing

nothing for the next several weeks?

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Maybe you do have that job and you

don't have that luxury to take time

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off, and I understand that too, but

you can still participate in this

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exercise in which you're helping

yourself become not only the best

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version of who you are, but what you

can be for the new year that lies ahead.

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What you can do right now to help

yourself create even those opportunities

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is thinking about what your values are.

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That's right: the actual values

that you hold dear to yourself.

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Maybe you're not an honest person.

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Maybe you aren't reflecting on

the things that you're saying

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before you actually say them.

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Maybe you are challenging some of the

beliefs that you've had held this past

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year about a significant other, about

what you could do professionally, maybe

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even the public speaking skills that

you have might not be top notch yet and

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you want to take them to the next level.

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Well, I know a coach, hint, hint,

that might be able to help you out

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with many of those things, especially

as we start the new year, and I'd be

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more than willing to work with you

to set up a plan as we enter that new

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year, but it goes beyond just that.

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In my practice, I often talk about the

importance of setting goals; SMART goals,

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for that matter, because goals that are

SMART in nature, whether they're specific

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and measurable, whether they have some

sort of time requirement behind them,

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or they just are relevant to the overall

things that you want to accomplish in

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your life, there's something in the

middle of that acronym that we often

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forget to do, and that is to take action.

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When you write down what your

values are, are they action based?

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Are they just complacent

in what you're saying?

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"I will be honest."

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"I will be loving."

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"I will be caring.", or do they

have more meat to it than maybe

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just those baseline surfaces?

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I often feel that when we are generic

in the ways in which we want to

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communicate and even share our concerns

both personally and professionally, I

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think that we often lose sight of the

true importance of what we're trying to

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create, which is actually the ability

to create not just actionable goals,

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but things in which we hold ourselves

accountable for what lies ahead.

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That means we actually are taking

responsibility for something

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that might actually change.

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Oh my gosh.

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We wouldn't want that to happen, would we?

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I think that's what really this is all

about, is we have to explore not just

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the things in which we can take action

on, but understand that the growth that

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we can receive from those goals can

honestly change us forever, especially

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if we're willing to dare greatly.

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Does that title of a book

sound familiar to you?

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Brene Brown, in which one of the

first books I've ever read about

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vulnerability, called Daring Greatly,

talks about the importance of just

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stepping outside of that comfort

zone in order for us to see that true

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value that lies within ourselves.

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It's an excellent book and I encourage

anyone to read it, even if it's

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been written several years ago, but

even other authors that have gone

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since then have talked about the

importance of Brene Brown's work

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in a variety of different ways.

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People that have been wanting to work

on not just addressing the shame that

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they have in their lives oftentimes

see dramatic results improve in

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their own ability to create value.

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Value in the sense of not just the

monetary or even the physical possessions

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that we have that we often think about

as selfish human beings, but being able

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to understand that that creates some of

the opportunity that lies deep inside of

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ourselves to pursue new goals and create

the best opportunities that lie ahead

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for others to join amongst the ranks.

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That might even mean finding a new

friendship zone; people that will help

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you within that circle of trust that

you're able to create because we all

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work as a team, especially even in the

professional realm, to achieve goals, and

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even success strategies, so that we were

able to accomplish projects and other

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sort of initiatives, especially as we are

planning and implementing them for the new

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year, but being the individual that you

are, you definitely have some say in that.

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If you haven't thought about the fact

that you have so much on your plate, and

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that you have the opportunity to change

what's on that plate, maybe that might

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be your first step in this whole process.

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Analyze everything that you've been

doing: does it really add any value

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to what you're actually creating

as the best version of who you are,

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and I will tell you this past year,

I've been doing quite a lot of that.

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Whether that has been eliminating

Toastmaster Clubs that I've been involved

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in for many years, although I'm still a

great supporter of Toastmasters overall;

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maybe that's changing some of the non

profit boards you sit on, which I have

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definitely done so, and continue to work

on even implementing new opportunities

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for myself to engage with partnerships

with Your Speaking Voice LLC in the

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new year, but even more importantly

and beyond all that, it's realizing

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that when you love yourself first,

and you create that love for yourself,

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the vulnerable aspects of it radically

change who you are, and really what

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the spirit of your true values become.

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Did you hear that?

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It's vulnerability that creates love.

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I did a bonus episode a few months

ago in which I talked about that

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concept when I had, yet again, another

suicidal thought come through my mind.

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I knew that was a moment of

weakness, and the love that

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came from that was incredible.

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Many of you had supported the show,

and throughout that time, and that

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was one of the best months, not only

for the podcast, but also for myself

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to know that there are support from

all over the world going through what

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I had been going through, because I

realized that if we're even going to

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have a chance to change the story, if

we're ever going to ask yourselves what

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we can do to realize deep within our

hearts, we have to test ourselves to

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change the story, to change the values

that we've often been operating from.

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I don't know if you really are going

to change your values, and maybe

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even after listening to this, you're

still not convinced that maybe

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those values need to be changed.

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This is where an outside

perspective really does help.

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It helps you to understand maybe there

are some ways in which you can improve.

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I will tell you that even if you're

listening to this and you are saying,

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"Josh, there's nothing that I'm

going to do to change this, because

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I'm okay the way I'm at", examine

anyway what you can do to change,

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because complacency is not change.

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Complacency in itself means that you're

not being try and true to the things in

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which you could test yourself to become

even better than who you are today.

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If you don't try to make progress,

and if you don't try to shift that

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script of what's been happening,

what's going to make you feel a

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little bit better about the new year?

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Instead of watching a whole binge series

of Netflix, or Apple TV, or Disney

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Plus, maybe you should binge on not

only the truth of what your values are

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right now, but maybe you can consume

better, healthier things, such as fruits,

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vegetables, and even other foods for

that matter, that help you with your

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vitamin intake, but more importantly,

maybe you can digest new books, new

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ideas, maybe even new podcasts for that

matter, that will change your mindset.

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I have somebody that will be coming up

on the show in the new year, that I've

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been listening to a lot of her different

episodes, and Kaneshi Hart, who will

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be a future guest on this show, really

inspires me because of her mindset.

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She wants to be a six figure coach,

and she wants to challenge not only the

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status quo of what those people are going

through, to become great, but she's also

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learning that mark along the way, so

I ask you: do you want to be that six

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figure coach, maybe investor, maybe that

entrepreneur because you've been putting

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it off for the longest time, or maybe

you're just so desperate for change, maybe

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you want to create those opportunities

to make progress in those personal and

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professional goals that you're now waking

up to smell not just the coffee, but

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the hot chocolate that's in your cup.

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We have to fill our cups with something

more than just the things that we've been

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doing for the longest time, and I don't

know about you, but when I get tired

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of hitting my maximum, and I'm getting

frustrated consistently over and over

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again, and I feel like I'm not making

progress to that overall goal that I want

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to achieve, it might be time to change

what my values are, because the spirit

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that lies in me is never going to rest.

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It's going to allow me to create not

just those best versions, those best

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relationships, that best confidence,

that best determination, but it's going

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to help me understand that my voice,

in this ever changing world, can be

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impacted by just the things that we

fill, not just in our cups, but also

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in our minds, so if you are ready for

that change, now is the time to do it.

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What's holding you back?

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Are you afraid of what it might look

like to be on the other side, or maybe

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you're just itching to get started, and

if you are, I can't wait to hear from

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you, not only just very soon, but I'll

be excited for some of the new ideas

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that you'll bring to the table, and

please, leave the cookies off the table

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because those are the things that fatten

us up, unless you got enough to share

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for all of us here on this podcast.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 69 of Speaking From The

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.