Episode 97
Episode #94 - Living In Functionality Within Our Own Control: An Interview With Alyssa
Learning how to organize your personal and professional tasks in order to achieve them on a daily basis is only a small set of components to living a fulfilled life. Does your home, however, have the functionality to help you sustain your daily activities, including how you feel about yourself and having others over? Today's guest, Alyssa, describes the importance of having a strategic plan in your home organization by empowering her clients to do the same through her techniques, support mechanisms, and other types of resources to create ownership in this realm. The interplay between organizing our physical space, along with our mental space, have direct correlations to the abilities we have deep inside of ourselves to achieve success, and today's subject proves that having both of them working collaboratively can make a significant impact not only to your well-being, but to your overall success in forming relationships, confidence, and determination as well!
Guest Bio
Alyssa is a neurodivergent home organization strategist who helps people with autism/ADHD take the shame and anxiety out of home organization and build successful systems that work for them so they can stop stressing and truly relax in their space. Using her background in education and psychology, she focuses on recognizing the barriers to success caused by unhelpful emotional patterns and beliefs and helps clients to overcome these by learning methods and systems that allow them to finally have the functional space they really want.
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Website: https://ayh.alyssasyellowhouse.com
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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
2
:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
3
:This is Speaking From The Heart.
4
:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 94 of Speaking from the Heart.
5
:Today we have a guest by the name of
Alyssa, which she has withheld her
6
:last name for privacy purposes, which
is perfectly all right on this show,
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:because Alyssa is a neurodivergent home
organization strategist who helps people
8
:with autism and ADHD to take the shame
and anxiety out of home organization
9
:and build successful systems that work
for them so they can stop stressing
10
:and truly relax in their space.
11
:Using her background in education and
psychology, she focuses on recognizing
12
:the barriers to succeed caused by
unhelpful emotional patterns and
13
:beliefs and helps clients to overcome
these by learning methods and systems
14
:that allow them to finally have the
functional space they really want.
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:I love this episode as you all can
imagine, because it's right up my alley of
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:being autistic myself, but I think there's
some bigger underpinnings to this overall
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:conversation that we have about organizing
our lives, not just in the things in
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:which we have to do in the day to day,
but the actual space that we go home to.
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:Is it organized?
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:Is it properly arranged so
that it's functional in nature?
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:Now, I grew up in a household sometimes
that was full of a lot of stuff, and my
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:mom has done a great job of purging a
lot of those things out as she's gotten
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:older, but I still have those tendencies
as a kid that have led into my adulthood
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:of sometimes being a little bit more
messier than I really wanted to be.
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:What we actually use as our home
organization system can make such a
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:big difference, and that's why I really
enjoyed my conversation with Alyssa and
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:what she has to share with us today.
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:But with that, let's go to the episode.
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:All right.
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:We're here with Alyssa.
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:Alyssa, thanks for sharing
your heart with us today.
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:Alyssa: Thanks for having me.
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:That's such a fundamental part
of organizing that people don't
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:really think about, so I'm
thrilled to be able to do it.
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:Joshua: I feel like I am going to get
more organized after talking to you today,
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:and I know for some of my listeners, I
think that they're going to get a lot
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:out of this conversation too, because
part of even what I do in coaching is
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:really re-organizing thoughts and patterns
of ways in which we do things, and I
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:feel like you and I have some common
traits with that today, so I'm really
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:been excited for this conversation, and
really, I want to start off with this.
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:I've already let the audience know
a little bit about your background,
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:but I'm kind of curious, although you
have gone through doing this sort of
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:business now that you have, what actually
led you into wanting to do more of
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:organization, helping people declutter?
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:I mean, I feel like you're in this sort of
advancing realm of different people I've
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:encountered in my life that want to help
others with getting themselves organized,
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:so what made you and led you into that?
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:Alyssa: Yeah, so my background is
actually in elementary education and
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:psychology and the whole organizing
thing really started during the pandemic.
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:Suddenly, I was at home all the time,
and when you're leaving your home for
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:eight hours a day, you have a lot more
license to ignore how cluttered and how
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:chaotic it is, but when you're there all
the time, it's in your face and you have
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:to deal with it, and I was feeling so
down on myself all the time, because I
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:was thinking, "Everyone else can do this.
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:Why am I having such a hard time figuring
out just where to put my stuff?", and
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:then around in that same time, I got
a diagnosis and found out that I have
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:autism and ADHD, and then it clicked
for me and I was thinking, "If I had
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:a student who had something they were
really serious about, they really wanted
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:to do, they were working really hard,
and they were not succeeding, I wouldn't
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:talk to them the way I'm talking to me.
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:I wouldn't tell them they're lazy,
that they're a bad kid, that they
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:should just try harder, that there's
something fundamentally wrong with them.
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:Absolutely not."
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:I would start looking around their
environment and asking myself, "What
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:is here, or what is not here, that's
not setting them up for success?",
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:because they're obviously trying;
they obviously want to do this.
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:Something is not setting them up
to be successful in this thing
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:they're trying to do, so what can
I change about the physical space?
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:What can I change about the way
I'm approaching the situation that
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:could make a difference for them?
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:Once I started doing that for
myself, things started falling
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:into place all over, and it made so
much difference almost immediately.
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:Joshua: I find that really fascinating,
because we were just literally talking
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:about this before we started, about how
we have these late term diagnoses later
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:on in life of, "Oh, we're autistic.
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:Oh, we have ADHD.", and it changes so much
about how we process and differentiate
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:between different types of people,
different types of things, and I think I
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:understand completely what you're talking
about when it comes to this, because even
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:for some people that have gone through the
pandemic and have realized, "My goodness.
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:I might need to shape up or change my
career or change things in my life", I
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:think even one of those things that needed
to be done was having a check even around
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:ourselves, what we physically surround
ourselves with, because it can create a
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:lot of different emotions and different
feelings inside of ourselves, but,
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:Alyssa, I find it interesting too that
you have two degrees like you mentioned.
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:Why did you go to school initially?
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:Were you looking to do something
in a different type of career
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:before you started this?
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:Alyssa: My original plan was to teach
elementary school, specifically in either
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:sort of the special education gifted and
talented kind of area, because those are
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:the students that, through the school
experience, that I worked with really
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:well, when others maybe struggled, and
then, of course, once I got my diagnosis,
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:it became very clear that I work well
with those students because I'm like them.
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:I understand them.
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:I understand where they're coming from,
and sort of the way that education was
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:kind of during the pandemic, and then
I had some health struggles of my own,
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:and it just became very clear that I
was not going to be able to thrive in
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:that environment, and I was also not
going to be able to set my students
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:up to thrive, and I knew I needed
to step back and do something else.
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:Joshua: I think that we
often go in one path.
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:I even said to my listeners in the
past that I wanted to be a lawyer,
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:and I was so dead set in doing that,
but I decided to change my career
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:path after I went through- we all
went through, I should say, the Great
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:Recession of 2008, and I thought, "Okay.
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:Well, maybe doing this, what I want
to do now can make a big difference
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:in what we're trying to achieve",
but you started this business,
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:Alyssa's Yellow House, and I love the
name, and there's an awesome story.
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:I'm not going to share it.
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:I want you to share it because it's
definitely your perspective of what you
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:called this business because I'll give
you my thoughts after you introduce it,
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:because there's a little bit of a tie
in, I feel, to this with me personally,
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:but I'll let you share why you called
your business, Alyssa's Yellow House.
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:Alyssa: When I was very young, my family
lived out in this sort of ruralish area.
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:It was kind of like the outer edge of
a suburb, and we lived on this really
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:long street, and on the way to school,
and on the way home from school,
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:twice a day, we would pass this lovely
yellow Victorian house; had this giant
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:wraparound front porch, huge front
window, they always decorated all
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:the way to the hilt for the holidays.
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:It was beautiful, and in my little
kid brain, now it seems ridiculous,
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:but when you're seven, it seems
absolutely logical that whoever lives
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:here just must not have any problems.
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:Their life must be great, because
obviously, this place is so
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:gorgeous that whoever lives here
must just have it all together.
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:As I grew up, I realized
that's kind of ridiculous.
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:Everyone's going to have problems no
matter where you live, no matter what
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:your home looks like, and the real
thing that matters is the energy that
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:your home has, and how you feel inside
your home, whether it's a house, or an
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:apartment, or whether you share it with
other people, doesn't really matter.
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:What matters is how you feel when
you arrive and when you spend time
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:there, and so, What I want to do with
the business, especially, and also
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:just personally in my own home, is to
cultivate that kind of energy where
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:when you enter your home, everything
seems just a little bit more okay.
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:No matter what happened that day, while
you were gone, everything seems a little
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:bit better because your home is such
a calm, timeless place for you to just
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:be and just relax and I don't think
that home should be stressful, and so
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:that kind of "yellow house energy",
wherever you happen to be located,
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:is something that you can build and
cultivate regardless of whether you
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:actually live in a yellow house or not.
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:Joshua: Wow.
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:You said three things that are on my
mind right now as you were talking
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:about this experience of walking by
and seeing this yellow house, because,
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:first off, the connection I was alluding
to earlier was the fact that the image
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:in my mind growing up was growing up
on a farm which my mom and dad had
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:Alpine Nubian goats, and I always have
this big red barn in my mind and I
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:could I still picture it to this day.
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:They tore it down from where I
originally grew up, which was in
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:the Lancaster County area, and it
was really beautiful in Pennsylvania
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:around that time because there wasn't
as many developed houses as there are
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:today, so I have that image in my mind.
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:I always thought, "Man.
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:I wish I could have that one day again.",
but there's something else that you
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:said that is really pivotal that I think
is really important is that what might
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:be looking good on the outside might
not be as good in the inside, which is
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:what you deal with, which is looking
in the inside, so I'm really curious,
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:because now I want to tie in a little
bit of what you had mentioned earlier
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:about diagnosis and autism and ADHD.
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:Do you feel that you have an insider
advantage of helping people that might
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:not have those sort of issues, or I
shouldn't even call it issues, I should
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:call them neurodivergent opportunities,
or abilities, unlike other people?
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:In other words, Do you see yourself
having a competitive advantage over other
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:people because of having those diagnoses,
especially later in life, because we
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:were talking about that too, that we both
had that happen later on in our lives.
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:Alyssa: I certainly think it
gives me a different perspective.
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:I don't know if I would call it an
advantage, because when you're working
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:with home organization, it's so personal
that, I've had people tell me that they
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:had a home organizer come out to their
home and organize everything and it was
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:so beautiful and then two weeks later
it was a disaster again and they felt
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:terrible and that's just a mismatch
between the person and the organizer, and
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:I don't actually do in home organization.
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:What I try to do is give people the
tools so that they can do it themselves
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:and really understand the organization
process, and I think that that is
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:something that's kind of missing right now
from the home organization conversation
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:is what actually is organizing.
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:How does it work?
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:We use organizing as almost a buzzword,
and we assume that everyone knows what
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:it means, but that's actually not really
as simple and cut and dried as we would
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:like it to be, because what's organized
for you, and what's organized for
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:me, might be very different from each
other, and so the organization process,
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:I feel like I do have some additional
insight because of the way that my brain
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:works, and the way that I see things.
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:Things that seem very obvious to me
often don't to others, and I think that
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:does give me an interesting perspective
that has maybe been missing from the
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:home organization cultural conversation.
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:Joshua: As I approach over a year now
with my own diagnosis of autism at a
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:later stage in life, I often have been
thinking about it as a superpower of
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:sorts, and I think that you have a
perspective of a superpower when you
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:do that, and you touched on something
that I'm kind of curious just to draw
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:some comparisons or contrasts from this.
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:How do you work with people that might
have already had somebody in the house
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:to help them, and it didn't work out?
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:What is one of your first steps
to help somebody if they're
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:trying to get organized again
to empower them to do that?
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:What is usually your technique to
help them get to that next level?
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:Alyssa: I think the first step is to
really identify not just what are the
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:problem areas, but why are those areas
a problem for you, because we like to
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:make these very broad statements that
are not actually that helpful to us, so
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:people will say, "Well, I hate my closet."
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:Okay, but why?
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:Can you tell me more about
why it doesn't work for you?
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:What is in your closet
that you don't like?
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:If the problem is really just that you
have too many clothes that you don't
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:wear or that no longer fit you, that's a
separate problem from I only have one bar
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:in my closet to hang things on and I need
more than that, and I need a different
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:system in my closet to actually be able
to store all of my clothing, or maybe
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:it's, "I don't have a good place for
my shoes, and so I kick them off on the
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:floor of the closet and now they're just
in a big pile", but all of those problems
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:are so much easier to solve than a very
generic, "I hate my closet.", because
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:that doesn't give you anywhere to go.
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:You can't solve, "I hate my
closet", but you can solve, "I
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:don't have good shoe storage".
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:Joshua: I think it's untying that
emotional connection every time we
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:have that thought and being able to
say to ourselves, "We can do this.
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:We can change the thought pattern.
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:We can change the ways in which we're
taking action on it", which I've shared
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:many episodes with my listeners about the
importance of that too, because I think
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:it's really an understanding of creating
that dynamic of what is causing that in
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:the first place, removing that from the
equation, but now being able to take
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:meaningful action to help showcase or even
display what some of that progress can be.
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:Speaking of progress, I noticed that
on your website you have the "All
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:Peach, No Pit" workbook, and I think
there is a couple people that come to
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:mind that I know in my life that could
absolutely use this, and it's really
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:relating to the kitchen, so can you
talk a little bit about the workbook
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:and the premise of it and what it helps
other people do, beause I know that it's
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:available for purchase on your website.
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:Alyssa: Sure, so I decided that I needed
a really good way to package my whole
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:organizing system, and when I say an
organizing system, my goal is not to
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:teach you to organize like I organize.
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:That's not going to help you.
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:That's how I organize.
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:You are going to organize differently,
so my goal is to teach you the
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:skills and the systems that you need
to set up your own organizational
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:system that's going to work for you.
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:When I decided I needed to package
this all up so that I could share it
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:with other people, I then decided I
need to start in the kitchen, because
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:that seems to be one of everyone's
problem areas, and it makes sense.
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:We're only basically in the kitchen
when we're working, and we're in
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:there multiple times a day, working,
basically everywhere else in the house.
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:We're either going there occasionally to
relax, or it's like the office, and we can
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:shut the door on it and walk away when our
work day is over, so it's really important
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:that the kitchen is a place that you feel
good about, because often when we think
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:about homes that we feel functioned well,
which for a lot of people that I talk to
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:they picture their grandparents, and they
always tell me stories about their grandma
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:in the kitchen, and I'm no different.
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:I remember my grandmother in the
kitchen as well, making things and
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:just the family center in her home has
always been her kitchen, and so the
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:story of building this workbook out
was based in that and then was also
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:based heavily in my autism and my ADHD.
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:I need things in small chunks.
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:If you give me a huge project I am
already overwhelmed and often it's not
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:even necessary to have a huge project.
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:We think that if we want big results, we
have to make big change and most of the
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:time, it's really the small changes that
make the day to day difference, so, the
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:workbook is broken up into very short
little sections that you can do in just
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:a few minutes, and it moves you through
sort of what I think of as the three
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:different components of organization.
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:There's the mindset component, which
is: How are you thinking about it?
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:How are you mentally and emotionally
setting yourself up for success?
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:How are you dealing with
the trauma of organizing?
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:When we think of organizing, we think
of nice little colored bins sitting side
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:by side with cute labels, but there is
so much more to organizing than that,
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:because there are all of these cultural
messages that we've been getting from
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:media, from parents, from friends, from
ourselves, about judgments that we should
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:make about us if we aren't effortlessly
good at organizing, and we have to work
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:through all that before we're going to
make any more progress, so the first
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:section of the workbook is, "Let's talk
about the emotional weight of organizing
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:and how we can make it work for us and
how we can get around the difficult
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:parts so that we can be more successful."
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:Part two is the physical
organization of your space.
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:Where does your stuff go and kind of
tying in with what works best for you,
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:which is not necessarily what works
best for someone else, and then the
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:third part is your methods, which is how
you and your physical space interact.
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:How do you actually use the space that
you've created, and what does that
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:conversation between you and your space
look like, and how can you use that to
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:find areas that are really functional
where you can see What have I done super
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:well,, or areas where you can see, This
is a thing that's not really serving me.
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:I can improve this, and also, I now know
how to do that, and I know what that
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:looks like when it works really well.
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:Joshua: Wow, because I have to say this.
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:I had a lady on just the last interview
episode that I had on the podcast,
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:and we were talking about paranormal
activity, or things of that nature in
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:which she's a psychic and has these
medium conversations or energy levels
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:from different spirits that live in
the house, and I feel that this is such
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:a good tie in because it isn't just
about the spirits that surround us.
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:It's really about the things that we
do to prepare ourselves to have that
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:organization conversation for people,
because I often think of the TV show
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:Hoarders, where there's a lot of emotional
attachment with why hoarding happened
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:in the first place, and trying to go
in and immediately say, "This is junk.
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:These are things that are good.
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:You need to keep the things that
are good and get rid of the junk."
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:That could be a very traumatic
episode for somebody that is really
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:attached to those sort of items,
because there is a significance to it,
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:which you've touched on, the mental,
emotional aspects of it and we need
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:to process that in a healthy way.
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:I guess in a way I have this
curiosity question for you.
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:How does your family handle this when you
are getting ready to do some of the same
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:things that you do with your clients?
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:Do you help them, them being your family,
actually go through that process and
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:maybe process some of those things?
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:I mean, I imagine that you have
some of those sort of situations
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:come up where they're like, "No mom.
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:I don't want to do that.
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:No wife.
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:I don't want to do that."
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:Alyssa: It actually works really well,
because the reason that there are so many
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:conflicts, it seems like, in organizing
is because it's so emotionally charged,
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:and when you're using a system that allows
you to process those emotions as you
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:go, it's much less emotionally charged
to then make it work with a partner, or
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:whoever else you happen to live with, and
for me, at least, we have sort of had to
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:work through in my family, "These are the
things that I need that work well for me.
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:What are the things that you need that
work well for you?", and even though
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:they're not often the same things,
they are usually at least complimentary
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:things, so the things that someone
else really struggles with, will
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:be an area that works well for me.
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:Other things are just stuff like I do most
of the cooking in my family, so nobody
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:else is going to try to organize my spice
rack or my pantry because they don't
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:really use them, so since I'm the primary
person who uses those spaces, I have the
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:primary say in how they're organized.
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:My husband puts away the dishes most
of the time, and so the dishes that are
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:not for cooking, he puts them where he
wants them to go, where it makes sense
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:for him to put them away, because I'm
not doing that, so I don't really have
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:the primary say in what we're going to
do in that space, and so finding those
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:sort of areas of common ground, and
then those areas where you can take more
322
:ownership, and also everyone else still
feels good about that, is really critical
323
:in figuring out how to work together
with the people you live with, and it's
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:so much easier when you have a system of
looking at it that doesn't just set it up
325
:as a me versus you, me versus my space,
kind of thing where it's constructive
326
:and we all work together to make it
functional and to make it really serve
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:the needs of everybody who lives here.
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:Joshua: I kind of think of the
analogy of I'm driving the car
329
:when we're driving down the road.
330
:I should have control of the radio
because I want to listen to certain
331
:things that keep me awake, will
keep me going, and I don't want
332
:anybody else touching the radio.
333
:It isn't your turn to drive, so hold on,
so in a way you're kind of saying the same
334
:premise in which organize it in a way
that is primary to you, but at the same
335
:time, knowing that there's going to be
other people sometimes in the kitchen or
336
:even organizing for that matter in life.
337
:is being able to have that conversation,
which a great book that I have always
338
:referenced on the show is from a
collection of different authors, one of
339
:them being Joseph Grenny, called Crucial
Conversations for Mastering Dialogue,
340
:and I love it because it talks about
the system of having that difficult
341
:conversation, but it isn't about giving
up or conceding on a certain point, but
342
:being able to work out the differences,
so I feel that we all have that ability,
343
:that energy pattern to be able to
work out those differences as well.
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:Alyssa, I'm really curious as we get
closer to the end of our time here
345
:about a successful client that you
had, and maybe they had a completely
346
:different situation and maybe other
people that you routinely work with,
347
:but they were really difficult; maybe
they were very challenging to work with.
348
:Maybe it was some other sort of
circumstance, but I was wondering, without
349
:saying their name whatsoever, because
we always protect the confidentiality of
350
:other people, especially me being a coach.
351
:I'm wondering if you could share
a success story that you had that
352
:really sticks with you, even to this
day that you've worked with somebody
353
:to help them, whether it's through
organization or through some other means.
354
:Alyssa: Yeah, that's a great question.
355
:I think one of the most impactful
clients that I ever had for me, and
356
:I think also for the client, was
someone who was very insistent that
357
:the problem was not organization.
358
:The problem was that she
just hated her kitchen.
359
:She just didn't want to be in there.
360
:It wasn't that it was disorganized,
it wasn't that it was dirty, she
361
:just didn't want to be in there.
362
:It wasn't until we started
breaking down, "Why is that?",
363
:and figuring out various things.
364
:One of the biggest things that I found
for this client was; this was also a
365
:neurodivergent client, and one of the
things that she had really struggled
366
:with, with more conventional organizing,
was what's the first thing they all
367
:say, is just "Make it a habit", right,
which works great if you form habits.
368
:Joshua: Yes.
369
:Alyssa: If you are neurodivergent and you
don't easily form habits in the same way
370
:that non-neurodivergent people do, you're
just destined to believe that you are bad
371
:at organizing, and so one of the things
that we found was that she felt like she
372
:was constantly dropping the ball in a lot
of places, because she wasn't maintaining
373
:these unmaintainable habits, and she
was having this narrative running that
374
:since she couldn't just effortlessly do
it, that meant that she was bad somehow.
375
:Then, she developed an aversion to just
her whole kitchen, and she just didn't
376
:even want to go in there, and it was a
long process of re-evaluating: What is
377
:the problem, really, and what can we do
about it, and okay, instead of building
378
:habits, we're going to change things
to rely on routines, because one of the
379
:things that the neurodivergent brain is
super good at is following a routine.
380
:If we have a routine, we are golden.
381
:We can do that routine all day, every day.
382
:We just have to have something that
starts that routine, so, we built out
383
:some routines for her so that she felt
like she had more control over the
384
:things that she was struggling with.
385
:We reorganized some of the physical
components of her kitchen to prompt
386
:her to follow those routines, and we
put away some things that were sitting
387
:out, and we brought out some things
that are put away so that she would see
388
:them and it would remind her, "Oh yeah.
389
:I need to start that routine."
390
:She went from being someone who
told me that she hated her kitchen.
391
:She hated cooking.
392
:She got in touch with me and she was
just giggling, and she said, "Oh my gosh.
393
:My extended family is
coming in from out of town.
394
:I am so excited to cook for them.
395
:I'm so excited to have them in for a meal.
396
:I know how it works.
397
:I already know what I'm going to do.
398
:I already know how I'm going to serve
it I know how I'm set up for this.
399
:This feels so good, and I am so excited to
have them come in, instead of finding out
400
:that they're coming and then immediately
worrying about what am I going to do?
401
:I just get to be excited about having them
be here.", and that was so rewarding for
402
:me to see that I'm not the only person
who has been impacted by this system
403
:of organization in such a strong way.
404
:It has that kind of impact for
other people as well, and it
405
:was just really a wonderful
experience for her and also for me.
406
:Joshua: It puts a smile on my face
to hear that too, because it's almost
407
:as if we put that work together with
different people and we see that pay
408
:off, so it's not just the things that
we do in our lives that we work with
409
:others and we have that fulfillment,
but seeing that happen with somebody
410
:else is always a awesome feeling too.
411
:Thanks for sharing that, Alyssa.
412
:I have one final question for you,
and being that you are neurodivergent
413
:just like I am, I really feel that
our audience might have a real deep
414
:appreciation for what you have to say
about this question, which is: What
415
:would you say to someone that might be
going through this sort of struggle with
416
:being autistic, or having ADHD, and they
haven't come to grips yet of what they
417
:are in this world, or trying to figure
out what to do to kind of break that
418
:routine pattern that they have going on.
419
:What would you say to somebody that
had just found out recently that
420
:they were diagnosed, maybe even
later in life for that matter, of
421
:how they can find their purpose?
422
:How can they use that
diagnosis to their advantage?
423
:I'm wondering if you have any insights you
could share with my listeners about that.
424
:Alyssa: The first thing I would tell them
is that you've probably been trying to use
425
:a lot of systems that were not necessarily
built for you, and the only bad system
426
:is the system that doesn't work for you.
427
:It doesn't have to be the same way
that everybody else is doing it.
428
:If you have recently been
diagnosed, nothing has fundamentally
429
:changed about who you are.
430
:What you have now is a deeper
understanding of how you can structure
431
:things to make your life easier,
and better, and more fulfilling, and
432
:that's a wonderful opportunity that
I hope everyone gets at some point
433
:in their life, whether it's through
diagnosis or through discovering their
434
:passion, or whatever it may be, I want
everyone to have the opportunity to
435
:live as authentically as possible.
436
:Whether that's through organization,
or through a career path, or through
437
:a hobby, or whatever it may be, lean
in to the things that make you feel
438
:fulfilled, and if it doesn't make you
fulfilled, start looking at how you
439
:might be able to, if not completely
get rid of it, then at least reduce
440
:the amount of energy that you have to
spend on that, because that's going to
441
:free up so much more energy for you to
spend in ways that are more fulfilling.
442
:Joshua: Well said, and I just like
applauding you over here because
443
:it is such a good answer to what we
can do to help achieve that success
444
:because everyone's entitled to it.
445
:Everybody has that opportunity.
446
:It's just about building those systems
around us and they're not all alike.
447
:Alyssa, thanks for sharing what
you've shared with us today.
448
:I'm wondering if you could take the last
few moments here and just share with my
449
:listeners, how can they reach out to you?
450
:How can they engage with you if
they're interested in organization?
451
:How can they help with maybe
finding that first step?
452
:I'm going to give you the last few moments
to give our listeners that information.
453
:Alyssa: My Instagram
is @alyssasyellowhouse.
454
:My website is alyssasyellowhouse.com,
and my current, absolute favorite place
455
:to be is in my Facebook group, which
is also Alyssa's Yellow House, and
456
:it's a very interactive place where
there are people that are sharing kind
457
:of their own organizational struggles
and their successes, and it's very
458
:collaborative and it just feels like
a really wonderful place where we can
459
:all share and learn from each other.
460
:My Instagram is very responsive.
461
:I love receiving messages on Instagram.
462
:Please get in touch with me
if you have any questions.
463
:I also answer emails.
464
:It's very easy to get a hold of
me and I am more than happy to
465
:talk to people about this because
I am very passionate about it.
466
:I know how much it's changed my life and
what a positive impact it's had for me,
467
:and I want that for everyone else too.
468
:Joshua: I can tell even throughout
this last half hour of the excitement
469
:and the enthusiasm that you have for
helping others, and even with just a
470
:small thing that maybe other people don't
really think about on their day to day
471
:about just keeping an organized house
or keeping organized in general, it's
472
:really about creating those opportunities
to engage, to help each other, which I
473
:love the Facebook group that you have.
474
:I think that all those
things are very important.
475
:I'll put everything about your business,
and even the Instagram, even the
476
:Facebook into the episode notes, so
listeners, you want to go check that
477
:out, check out Alyssa, help her out and
definitely engage with her, but Alyssa,
478
:for all these things that you do and
being a fellow neurodivergent person
479
:in this world, making a difference,
no matter what it is, thanks for
480
:sharing your heart with us today.
481
:Thanks for being on Speaking From
The Heart, and I really enjoyed our
482
:conversation and getting to learn a lot
more about yourself and your business.
483
:I really want to thank Alyssa again
for being part of the show, because
484
:now I know where to put my stuff.
485
:That's right; now I know how to
functionally organize myself so that
486
:every time that I have guests over at
my house, or my apartment where I live
487
:currently, I don't have to worry so much
anymore about having to find a place
488
:for everything, and worry about what
other people might think about my living
489
:situation, but you have to understand
that this is not as simple of a subject
490
:as it might have led by itself having
this conversation today, and I think even
491
:Alyssa had alluded to the fact too, that
this is not an easy change for many people
492
:that might be going through these sort
of situations where they don't know where
493
:to functionally organize in their life.
494
:I have worked with clients that have even
had some difficulty struggling with their
495
:organizational systems, and we actually
have to take a step back to talk about
496
:what are some strategies, and some coping
mechanisms, in order to overcome some of
497
:those pitfalls that we might fall into
when it comes to the space that they
498
:live in, let alone the opportunity to
work on some of the tasks that we do in
499
:coaching, whether it's in a personal,
professional development setting.
500
:I think it's about understanding
how we pivot and how we create
501
:those aspirations of greatness in
our own lives that make such a big
502
:difference in our organizational style.
503
:Okay, I'm already hearing it.
504
:"Josh.
505
:This is crazy.
506
:Yet again in another episode at the
end, you're talking about how something
507
:that's completely unrelated functions
into something that is completely
508
:related into what you're doing.
509
:Why do you keep doing that?"
510
:Here's the deal.
511
:If you ever want to aspire for
greatness, you have to be organized.
512
:It's one of the basic principles, and
sometimes even the basic tenets of
513
:many leadership models that you read.
514
:Even my own boss at my full time job
would tell you that it's about being
515
:organized, being able to understand
where things are at within a certain
516
:process or procedure, that will allow
you to keep on working towards that
517
:greatness, but if you're not even
organized at work, what makes you think
518
:that you're even going to be organized
at home, and home is how you feel.
519
:It creates that connotation.
520
:It creates that opportunity to create
not only those ways in which we feel
521
:really good about ourselves, not only
how we cultivate our energy overall,
522
:but how we will live on the day to
day basis, so let's take a step back.
523
:What does your house look like right now?
524
:In the inside?
525
:On the outside?
526
:Then let's take a look at you.
527
:What's happening in the inside,
and also on the outside?
528
:I think that we have to understand that
each part of the kitchen, living room,
529
:bedroom, bathroom, and any other ancillary
rooms that you might have in your house
530
:or apartment that you live in, each
have its own functional requirements.
531
:I think we have to be intentional about
how we utilize those especially when
532
:it comes to balance and moderation.
533
:For example, if you're spending a lot
of time in the bathroom, I don't think
534
:it might be necessarily about how
you're getting ready, or how you're
535
:even feeling about one of these things
that you do on a day to day basis.
536
:It might be something happening even more.
537
:Maybe you've been sick quite a
lot, and that's why you're spending
538
:a lot of time in the bathroom.
539
:Maybe you're taking more
than enough showers.
540
:Maybe you're over obsessing about
your cleanliness, and worrying about
541
:what other people might think, but
then let's talk about your bedroom.
542
:Are there clothes strewn
all over the floor?
543
:Have you made your bed recently?
544
:Have you even washed the pillowcases,
the sheets that you sleep on?
545
:Anything that has to do with
feeling a little bit better about
546
:who you are and your hygiene as
a whole, but oh, the kitchen.
547
:What are you putting in the cupboards?
548
:Is it expired food?
549
:Is it food that's not so good for you?
550
:It's always been said that the colors
that you have in your refrigerator
551
:make a big difference about the
nutritional requirements that
552
:you're putting inside your body,
and then there's the living room.
553
:How much time are you spending there?
554
:Are you playing video games?
555
:Are you watching too much television,
or are you using it to learn new things?
556
:We have to create an environment in each
of these different rooms in order for us
557
:to feel a little bit better about who we
are and what we want to do, and I think
558
:Alyssa would be a prime example of those
sort of people that would be willing to
559
:help you no matter what kind of struggles
you might have to create that success.
560
:To process some of that initial anger,
that trauma, that organizational
561
:structure that you have that might not
even exist in the first place, but more
562
:importantly taking the first step in
being able to interact with somebody else.
563
:We have to be able to learn to not only
cope with the ways in which we interact
564
:with each of these rooms, but we have to
put in practice what we are being taught.
565
:Alyssa will only show you if you're
willing to work on it, and that's
566
:still one of the biggest premises
of many of the episodes that we've
567
:discussed this sort of topic.
568
:You can listen to it as much as
you possibly can, but if you're
569
:not willing to take the actionable
steps that will help you to create
570
:that best value of who you are.
571
:If you're not willing to be able to
work on what needs to be addressed.
572
:Even if you don't want to take the small
baby steps that need to be taken in
573
:order to learn a new habit or new skill,
change will not become a routine for you.
574
:You have to live an authentic life
by building the systems in your
575
:life that allow you to be able
to function appropriately, and
576
:it all starts in where you live.
577
:I have lived for many years in my life
not working on those basic baby steps,
578
:and that set me back a very long time.
579
:I've talked about this on other episodes
in which not only have I struggled
580
:with the emotional impacts of it, but
it's affected even my relationships for
581
:that matter, being able to have good
friendships with people that I truly
582
:care about, which I can only count
on one hand, is very hard in itself.
583
:Now that is not to say that quantity
should be over quality, but at the
584
:same time, I know that there's been a
lot of people in my life that I could
585
:have had over at my apartment or my
house, if I would have started to work
586
:on the basic elements of what we have
talked about in today's episode, so what
587
:are the problems that you're facing?
588
:It's not as simple as just writing them
down, but it's about taking actionable
589
:steps that allow you to address those
different opportunities that exist.
590
:If you are really worried about
what's happening on the outside
591
:of your house more so than what's
happening in the inside of your house,
592
:it might be time to start focusing
on those things that are inside.
593
:If the plumbing needs to be fixed in
your house so that you have running
594
:water, let alone electricity for
that matter, it might be time to
595
:hire a qualified specialist to come
over and start fixing those things.
596
:It's no different than hiring a coach
to help you with the basic fundamentals
597
:of the things that you need to
organize and structure so you can have
598
:appropriate opportunities to succeed.
599
:This is about building a foundation.
600
:If you don't have a healthy foundation,
it will be very tough for you to be able
601
:to stand on your own two feet, let alone,
have a place to even sleep, bathe, cook,
602
:and coexist in this awesome world, because
you are awesome in itself, and you should
603
:not have to live in your own filth, let
alone your own opportunity to be able
604
:to excel over those different things
that might have been holding you back.
605
:Now, I know that I've been preaching
a lot in these last few minutes, but I
606
:know that it's easier said than done,
so I want to speak to those for just a
607
:moment that might be still struggling
on figuring out what's the best way to
608
:move forward, especially with all this
information that we've presented today.
609
:Let's validate the fact that there
are difficult times for many people
610
:being able to address some of
these basic issues, and I get it.
611
:Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, which we've
mentioned in many earlier episodes,
612
:talks about just having a place to
live, food in our belly and feeling like
613
:we're secure in our own belongings, and
I know that it's much easier said than
614
:done to be able to do all those things,
especially in this ever changing world,
615
:especially with things that we have
as difficult moments in our lives, but
616
:it's not to say that that should be your
excuse, because there are many different
617
:programs out there, whether you're in
the United States or abroad, that can
618
:help you get back on your own two feet.
619
:What are the problems that you have?
620
:Start listing them out today.
621
:Do you not have the things that
you need as the basic necessities,
622
:such as canned food, a can opener,
a bowl to put the contents in, let
623
:alone a microwave to heat it up, let
alone a stove to possibly cook on?
624
:I know that all these things can be
very hard to do, especially if you have
625
:limited resources, but you're never alone.
626
:If you are looking for resources,
feel free to do a search on the web
627
:and find any of those local food
pantries, church organizations, or
628
:any other special events being put
on by your local police department
629
:or other organizations that might be
helping others that are less fortunate,
630
:because it all does start with just
feeling a little bit of extra security.
631
:I think that's what Alyssa
is selling to us today.
632
:I think that's what we all need to have
a little bit of in our lives, because
633
:if we're able to build that system of
feeling like we can exist, especially
634
:at our own home, we're not only going to
have the opportunity to grow and learn new
635
:basic skills, but we're going to be able
to create new values, new aspirations,
636
:new opportunities, whether they are from
the outside or inside, and we're going
637
:to be able to help so many different
people change radically what they have
638
:inside their hearts, minds, and souls,
because that's what this is all about.
639
:It isn't just about what
we have inside and outside.
640
:It's about what we have as extra
security, and we want to be able to
641
:address those untapped, emotional issues
that might exist because you don't have
642
:the heart or confidence to actually
take that first step, and it's okay
643
:to ask for help, because, look at me.
644
:If somebody like me can address those
sort of problems, and be able to get to
645
:the other side, I think that you can too,
and there's no shame in ever asking for
646
:help, because we can be able to learn new
tips, tricks, and tools, if we're just
647
:willing to open ourselves up to those
unimaginable possibilities, because they
648
:are something that can become reality, and
you're worth being part of this reality.
649
:Stop living in the way in which you feel
that you can't do anything about it.
650
:There are people that are willing
to help you, and they're going to
651
:help you no matter what, to help
you get to that next step in that
652
:overall journey that you're living in.
653
:Thanks for listening to episode
number 94 of Speaking From the
654
:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart very soon.
655
:Outro: Thanks for listening.
656
:For more information about our podcast
and future shows, search for Speaking From
657
:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
wherever you listen to your podcasts.
658
:Visit us at www.
659
:yourspeakingvoice.
660
:biz for more information about
potential services that can help you
661
:create the best version of yourself.
662
:See you next time.
