Episode #107 - Are You Really My Competition, Doing The Same Thing?

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode number

107 of Speaking from the Heart, and I

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am not going to compare you to anybody

else today because I really want to

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talk about you, and why you should stop

comparing yourself to everybody else.

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That's right.

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It's about understanding why it's so

important to focus on you, even when

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you have all these other influences

and distractions surrounding you.

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In order for you to become the best

version of yourself, you have to start

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putting away what everybody else is doing,

and if there's anything that I've learned

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about doing this, especially as I was

preparing for this episode, it's that

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I need to be more self aware of this so

that I can see not just my true potential,

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but to worry not about what everybody

else is doing around me, so today, I

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really want to focus on some strategies

and some ways that maybe that will

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help you to not go down this dangerous,

slippery slope that we often deal

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with when it does involve competition.

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Now it's funny that I talk about this

because as you have been following along

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with me for over 100 episodes, you know

that I am no stranger when it comes to

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understanding and even connecting with

a variety of different people when it

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involves not only their coaching business,

but even other businesses as well.

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Some of the people that I've even

interviewed have either stepped aside and

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have done other things to pursue their

happiness, or they have decided to go

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a whole other direction and stay in the

business of what they're doing, but do

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it in a vastly different way, whether

they're authors, whether they are dealing

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with their own businesses, whether they

are even coaches in my own industry,

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I know for a fact that it's about

understanding the differences that we all

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have, but at the same time, respecting

that it's their journey, not ours.

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I would often be distracted,

for the longest time, about

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not only what those people are

doing, but how they're doing it.

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I always thought that I had to be

something better than them, but then I

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realized that it's not about being better,

it's about augmenting what they provide

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and what I can provide differently.

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In other words, my story and the

offerings that I even provide,

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are vastly different from what I

might even see from somebody else.

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I could learn a lot from even engaging

with their services, and I would even not

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be ashamed to tell you the numerous amount

of people that I wish, if I had millions

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of dollars, I would invest in each and

every one of those businesses that I

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would choose, but it's about not just

understanding what we have as differences.

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It's not just about understanding

what we can create as value.

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It's about learning and exploring that

we have our own steps to walk when it

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comes to that success, and the sheer

amount of success that we have in

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order to navigate through that means

understanding what our differences are.

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Now, in other episodes I've explored

with you the possibility of even writing

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these down; knowing what you are as your

strengths and weaknesses, and even dealing

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with the opportunities and threats.

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In other words, doing a SWOT analysis

for your own benefit, but it's not just

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about understanding the competition.

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It's not just understanding what makes

you different from everybody else.

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It's about distinguishing

yourself from others.

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It's distinguishing not just the things

that they do, but really, what you

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are and what you bring to the table.

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I've had many clients in which I explored

this personally and professionally

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on an individual level, but also on a

business level as well, and it's always

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interesting to see the vast differences

of some people willing to walk through

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it, while other people are not yet ready

to walk through it, and I've had plenty

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of no's, but I've also had plenty of

yes's, but it doesn't always mean that

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the yes's and no's translate because of

the things that we are willing to do,

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but it's often the money that talks the

most, so if you're sitting here today

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and you're thinking that money is no

object, and I'm willing to throw my

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dollars into anything that will make me

better, that's not the right way to do it.

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Have that connection with someone

that you really truly value, along

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with understanding that maybe they can

provide something of unique value, from

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their perspective, that will help your

perspective be even brighter, so don't

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throw your money away; that's one thing.

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The other thing and what I see more

often is the money that is never

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spent, because they're afraid of

what that change would look like.

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They're afraid of what the unlimited

potential and benefits are if

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we're able to walk through and work

on ourselves with somebody else.

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That can often be the most scariest

thing in the whole entire world, but

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yet, having that level of commitment,

that service to ourselves, in which

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we put an investment of ourselves, is

something that I even talked about in

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a past episode in which I entitled, "Is

Coaching Just a Luxury?", and I feel that

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even time and time again, when people

don't listen to that, I think about the

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fact that maybe there is something that

I missed in that episode as the formula

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to that true success, because if you

really are thinking about it, coaching

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might not just be about the luxury aspect,

but also about what is in it for me.

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What is in it for me?

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And it's not just about the selfish

aspects of what we are dealing with,

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it's about the universal application of

what we're ultimately able to accomplish.

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That should be one of our benefits of

exploring what coaching is all about.

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When I think about this, and I think about

the fact that many people haven't had

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the chance to walk through these sort of

episodes of their lives in which they want

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to work on themselves, something strikes

me as interesting about this formula.

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The amount of people

that never respond back.

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The number of people that just give up,

and they're not willing to walk forward.

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Have we lost our energy and our drive

because of all the other pressures that

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are pressing down around us, and easily

enough, I can understand the human

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condition, allowing all those other

fears, those anxieties, even depression

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for that matter, get the very best of us.

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I talked about in a previous episode about

the importance of not only identifying

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what that means for you and how that works

in your overall life, but how you can

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balance that with the achievements that

you can achieve, but yet at the same time,

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grinding when you need to be grinded.

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You have to keep the process moving

forward, and even if you don't do it

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with somebody else, how do you do it

with someone, or even yourself, for that

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matter, that will hold you to the fire.

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One of my past guests and I have continued

to talk about this, even outside of our

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episode, which I won't mention who that

person is out of the respect of our

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privacy of the conversation, but what I

really find interesting about what our

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strategies, and let alone our journeys

are, have been about understanding the

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differences about how we each go about it.

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While one person might find that

one thing is really a struggle, the

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other person is saying, "Nuh uh uh.

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That's not a struggle.

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That's to your benefit.", so it's

all about seeing it from another

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perspective in order for us to

say that we're much better off,

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because they envy what we're doing.

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They are creating that value that

often times we forget that we offer,

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while at the same token, I'm able to

do vice versa: point out something in

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their life in which they think it's

a struggle, but yet it's really not,

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and they're rocking it, and that they

are going to be okay down the road.

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Those things is really

why we value competition.

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It's what makes us

competitively push forward.

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It's almost as if the human race

really depends on each other, always

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striving for that best idea, that

best feature, but yet, when you think

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about it, in the United States alone,

we always have competed across other

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countries in order to become excellent,

in whether it's scientific ventures,

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political gains, or even in wartime.

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No matter which way you want to

look at it from a political, social,

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economical, cultural, whatever way you

want to theorize, when we are looking

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at our competition, we should be not

looking at really what they're doing

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as the same thing, but how they're

doing it differently, and that is why

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I feel it's so important, especially

in the coaching world, to always

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distinguish that we are looking at ways

in which we can do things differently.

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It's not about doing the same thing

over and over again, thinking you're

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going to get different results.

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That's the definition of insanity, and

trust me on this, your podcast host

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definitely has had a lot of insanity, but

we also need to understand that trying

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an idea today, and trying it five years

from now, especially if we know that the

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conditions are different, is a vastly

different conversation than just trying

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to do the same thing over and over and

over again, thinking that we're going to

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have a different result in the present

time, but we have to be able to understand

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that if we're going to walk into those

footsteps of what other people are doing,

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be prepared for the consequences: having

lawsuits, even being infringed upon with

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your own rights of autonomy, being able to

understand that even those successes that

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other people have, don't easily translate

into the successes that you will have.

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I always thought that maybe I can

do public speaking differently.

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That was mainly the premise of why I

wanted to start my own business, because

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I felt that there was something missing.:

Connection, and whether you want to steal

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that idea or not, that's totally up to

you, but I always value the relationship

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that I have with every client, and I

even value the fact that I want them

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to succeed; I'm in it with them, but

even just beyond that, I always want

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to make sure that they're doing okay.

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I want to feel like I am empowered to help

others achieve their best interests, and

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for you, if you're not sharing that same

sentiment in which you're able to create

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that value, in which you're able to do

the hard work, in which you're able to pay

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attention to those that are around you.

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If you think that you're always going to

have to compare yourself to somebody else

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or something that they're doing, you're

doing it all wrong, and it's funny because

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those words repeat in my brain after

almost 20 years of friends and family

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saying the same thing to me that I'm

on my own time clock and that it's okay

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that I'm not equaling to everybody else.

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I'm autistic.

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I don't have a relationship

with someone that I can love.

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I don't have the biggest glamorous house,

let alone even the biggest apartment.

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I don't have all these things that are

really important, but yet, it's all

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about what we judge as that importance.

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It's the value that we decide

that we want to give to them.

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When I think about all my competition,

all the coaches that I've had on the

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show, and what I will have on the show,

it's not about what they're doing.

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It's about what I can learn from

them to grow as a human being, but

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yet not compare myself to them.

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That is what makes this such a special

relationship with each and every person

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that I've even had on this show, and

that I continue to grow all across

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the country, let alone the world.

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It's really funny when I think

about Speaking From The Heart and

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how many people I have reached.

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In a way, the competition of a

podcast has even exponentially

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grown to mass proportions.

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Who wants to really spend their time on

personal and professional development and

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get some wise tips from people that I've

had on the show, let alone even some of

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my own experiences, but yet, when I see

the consistency of people always wanting

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to follow, to see what's coming up, I

always think about the fact that those

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people are investing in themselves, and

it's just only one person's perspective

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out of the many multitudes of people

that they get to listen to, but

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distinguishing yourself from somebody

else is really the long term success that

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we can all reach, and that oftentimes

means listening to your competition.

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Now, if you've followed along so far of

all the things that I've said, you might

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notice a little bit of a contradiction.

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If I'm telling you to not follow

them, but yet to listen to them,

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which one should I be doing?

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Should I really be following them,

or should I not be listening?

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Truth be told, you should be doing both.

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Have a little bit of one ear to

the ground, while the other ear is

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listening to all the other things

that you're saying about yourself.

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There has to be balance, and with balance,

everything that you ever thought that was

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out of sight, out of mind, can potentially

become better, so when the next time

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that you want to approach somebody that

you really think is your competition,

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think of them as your friend, and

when you think of them as your friend,

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think of them as your competition.

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We're all striving to be better,

one way or another, that's

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why we even do businesses.

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That's why we even help out

volunteering with other people.

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We even help with organizations that

are achieving a greater aim, because if

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anything has really taught us about human

history, and the thousands of years that

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have existed in our evolution, it's that

we're always there for somebody else.

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Whether we were on the right side,

or even the wrong side, and the

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difference of understanding if you

want to be on the right side or

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the wrong side, means understanding

who your competition really is.

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You're not competing against the clock.

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You're not competing

against finite resources.

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You're not just competing against all

the things that might be happening,

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from an outsider or insider perspective.

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What you're really competing with

is how much you're really wanting to

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carry yourself to a level of service

and commitment to help yourself be the

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improvement that everybody wants us to

see, because when you're able to stand

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on the steps of where Rocky Balboa

was able to cheer after completing

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his workout in many of the Rocky movie

franchises, in many of the Rocky movies

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in which I have talked about, one

thing has become critically important.

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It's about celebrating those

successes, and I want to see you be

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able to celebrate those successes

where other people might've failed.

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They might've been able to learn something

a little bit different because of their

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unique experiences, so the next time

that you feel disheartened and you feel

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that the sheer amount of success that

you can achieve is out of reach, and

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when you often think that maybe you

can't do some of the things that other

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people are doing, including some of

the people that have been on my show.

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Think about the fact that you are

just saying things that are you

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competing against yourself, and do

you really need one more person to

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compete against, even if it's you?

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I would think not.

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What's really more important than anything

else is to you understanding what is

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so important to create that value.

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To create that opportunity of a lifetime,

and oh yeah, maybe even listen to some

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of what your competition is saying, so

that you can get a competitive advantage,

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because we're all in this together.

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Whether you are thinking that you're

my enemy or not, is irrelevant.

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What really matters more than anything

else, is for you to create that best

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opportunity that has yet to succeed,

and whether you have failed before or

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not doesn't mean that you can't get

back on the train again, because the

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train is soon departing, and I'd rather

have you as one of the passengers,

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even if we're running against each

other in a competitive train race, one

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competitor train company against another.

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At least we're all striving

for success, and that is what

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we are all able to achieve.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 107 of Speaking from the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.