Episode 120
Episode #115 - The (Untold) Fear of Public Speaking DEBUNKED!
The messages that we have inside ourselves have unbelievable opportunities to engage, create, and reflect on the variety of information we have to share. Instead of viewing this opportunity to share as fearful, what if we changed the way that your fear can empower others with your amazing, untold information? Tackling various strategies is NOT the way to look at this problem, and today’s episode explores how to unlock this unbridled power into a new way of expression that is more comfortable in expressing.
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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
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:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
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:This is Speaking From The Heart.
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:Joshua: Welcome back to episode number
115 of Speaking from the Heart, and
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:today I'm going to give you some of my
deepest, darkest secrets as it relates
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:to the fear of public speaking...
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:at least the untold fears of public
speaking, for that matter, because I think
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:oftentimes we are put into a situation
where we think that we need to have
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:all these incredible skills in order
to share our messaging, but yet, at the
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:same time, that's only one piece of the
overall puzzle to be able to unlock your
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:true potential when it comes to speaking.
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:Now, it's obvious.
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:This is something that I really wanted
to work on for so many years of my
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:life, especially after I got involved
with Toastmasters, in which we had
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:a variety of different guests, even
early on in this podcast, relating to
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:Toastmasters and how they have created
some of the best versions of themselves.
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:We even spent some time in the month
of November of last year talking
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:about how those people on the show
really have taken themselves up to
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:the next level when it comes to their
Toastmasters journey and even applying
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:some of the skills that they've learned.
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:If you haven't heard about Toastmasters,
it's a wonderful organization that's
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:geared towards public speaking
and leadership development, and I
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:encourage everyone to go check out
a club near you, whether you are
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:online or in person for that matter.
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:It will help you with not only achieving
what's ultimately possible, but also
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:making the world a better place, but
you will also be able to network with
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:a whole bunch of people that are like
minded and maybe even going through
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:that fear of public speaking, but
let me just back up a bit before I go
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:into more of my sales pitch as always
about Toastmasters, and talk to you
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:about the fear, which is what we're
going to overcome in today's episode.
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:I think that we often have to think of a
strategy in which we're going to tackle
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:the audience, and I always say to my
clients you need to know your audience
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:before you do anything else so that you're
able to have the effective messaging
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:that is necessary to reach them, but it
isn't about how you reach that audience,
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:it's about what you do to reach that
audience: surveys, asking questions of
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:the people that you will be working with
on developing that keynote message, even
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:some of the things that are available
to you online, for that matter, can help
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:you with drafting that all important
message that you get to practice.
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:It's no secret.
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:I am just starting out in my public
speaking journey and continue to work
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:on my professionalism as it relates to
that, and I've had plenty of successes
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:already starting out, but those
successes started from a homegrown
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:effort of people that have already
seen what I've been able to do and
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:continue to build on that word of mouth.
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:Now, there are plenty of podcasts out
there, including my friends at Speaker
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:Lab that I am really excited to start
working with at some point down the road
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:as it relates to drafting that message
and being able to be more effective in
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:the delivery of leads and working with
others, but it isn't just about doing that
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:from a professional speaking standpoint.
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:I'm looking at you, somebody that's being
asked to come up with a presentation
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:in about a couple weeks and you have
to figure out what is necessary for
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:you to be effective, but sometimes even
those couple weeks turn into 24 hours.
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:You might be knowing what that audience
is and the specific things that you've
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:been working on, but yet, how do you get
to the heart of really what's important to
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:reach that all important point that you're
trying to make, and I think that we have
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:to look at the fact that it's not about
the strategies that we do, it's about how
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:we can unlock that unbridled power, that
way in which we can express ourselves more
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:comfortably, while at the same time, being
able to express what's also on our hearts.
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:The information that we have to share,
whether it's persuasive, informative,
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:engaging, entertaining, regardless of the
rationale, the general or specific purpose
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:as I usually tell my clients you need to
know, comes from the fact that we have to
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:be able to understand what's inside of us.
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:Oops!
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:Did I just give you my secret
to understand what's in us?
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:What might seem to be a simple overlooked
factor in our overall speaking development
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:is sometimes what we miss out on the most,
which is connecting with our very selves.
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:Now, you might be scratching your head
and asking yourself, "Yeah, that makes
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:some sense, but the only problem, Josh,
is that I have to reach my audience.
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:Those are not me.
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:I am not the same as my audience, so
what does me have to do with them?"
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:Well, It means everything, because
if you don't have that connection
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:with your audience of the person who
is talking to them, you will never
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:be able to reach the other side, and
I see speakers do it all the time.
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:They try to start out with a question,
maybe even some sort of quote, that
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:will connect with the audience in
an everyday fashion, but those are
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:some of the tired and true methods.
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:I've seen other speakers that are
really good at this, doing some of the
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:most unbelievable things; making their
introductions tie into the overall fact
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:of why they're all gathered here today.
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:That is a master class speaker that
is able to paint a bigger, broader
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:stroke of a picture, and which
will help you to connect all the
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:dots by the very end of the story.
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:There was a keynote speaker when
I was still going through high
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:school by the name of Sam Glenn.
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:He had a wonderful use of chalk to tell a
story, and it was also right after 9/11.
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:You see, Sam really wanted to move the
crowd in a variety of different ways.
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:He thought that maybe helping kids
understand the importance and the
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:significance of living in America would
be the most important thing that you
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:could ever convey, and Sam was able to
show it in this wonderful esque picture
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:of an American Eagle as he was telling
what he needed to tell the audience in
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:a variety of different broad strokes.
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:Using chalk was one of the most amazing
things, even after over 20 years of not
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:listening to Sam, it still resonates
with me, and I think that we often
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:think about the fact that those people
that leave that lasting impression left
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:a little bit of themselves as part of
that, and I think that's why we have to
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:always think about the fact that it's
not just about the people that we reach.
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:It's not just about the things
that we're trying to tell them.
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:It's giving them a little bit of us.
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:I was always afraid for the longest time
to be able to share my story, let alone
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:even start this podcast, which I can't
believe, even as I continue to talk about
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:it with you, that we're 115 episodes in.
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:I would have never imagined that I would
be sharing a little bit of myself in every
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:single episode, but here I am, continuing
to tell the story, breaking the myths
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:that I often told of myself about public
speaking, let alone even on a medium
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:such as a podcast, for that matter, to
continue to share what is really on my
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:heart, to have that authentic conversation
with you, to be able to change what's
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:happening in your heart and the ever
changing world that we live in, but the
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:truth of the matter is, I was always
afraid of what that would look like.
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:Trying to manifest something
like this is not easy to do.
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:It means actually giving a little bit
of yourself; having a little bit of
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:vulnerability, and realizing that if
you're going to ever engage and create
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:and reflect on all the things that
require us to share with our audience,
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:it means that we have to get over our
fear, not just of public speaking,
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:but the fear of ourself and being
open when it really counts the most.
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:As I've recorded these batch of episodes
that I continue to record, one of the
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:most pressing things that I always find
important is that we need to be able to
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:share our message with somebody that needs
to hear it, but if we don't share it soon
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:enough, it's too late to be able to share
it with them, and what I mean by that is a
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:friend of mine recently had a death, close
to her, of a friend, not family related,
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:but of a friend, that if she would have
just been able to say some of the things
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:that were really on her heart, whether
that was through a public speaking medium
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:or some other way, she would have been
able to have that relationship be even
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:more meaningful than it already was.
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:Being able to tell people what you really
have inside your heart, oftentimes means
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:getting on a big stage with over three
to five thousand people watching, and
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:telling them that you care, that you
really matter, that it's okay to be afraid
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:of what's ahead, and that changing the
fear that we have inside of ourselves
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:means that we have to be able to use
the information that we're given in a
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:way that maybe hasn't been presented
before, which we've talked about changing
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:perspectives; changing that mindset,
and public speaking is no different.
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:If you're really looking at how
somebody can be inspiring or
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:entertaining or humorous, you have
to look no further than yourself.
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:I've had a few clients in which I started
out last year with working on this
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:concept, and I explored with them not
just what they have as hidden stories
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:that oftentimes are overlooked, but even
that the smallest story, even the smallest
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:things that have universal applicability,
means that you can make a meaningful
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:connection based on the background that
you have, so if you want to be the most
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:successful public speaker, let alone
have the most important message that
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:you want to share, especially around
some group of people that you're trying
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:to impress, open up a little bit, and
don't be afraid of the consequences
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:that might come alongside of it.
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:It doesn't mean that you have to bury
your entire soul, and I'm not asking
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:you today to share your credit card
numbers or your social security numbers
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:with me, so that I know that you have
an authentic, meaningful connection.
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:It just means you have to realize
that we are all in this together.
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:We all have unique problems and situations
that overlap each other, so when you
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:were able to debunk this fear of public
speaking by thinking that you have to
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:have this grandiose message, it just
means that you have to get over yourself.
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:That is the untold fear that most
people don't even understand.
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:If you're able to break that barrier,
that wall if you will, of not only
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:existing with your audience as if you're
having a conversation with them, you will
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:never be able to reach the true heights
of what public speaking really means.
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:Whether you're leading a training
workshop, or you're doing something
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:different with your audience as a
whole, it means you have to expose
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:a little bit more of yourself than
you normally would, and for most
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:people, that is very uncomfortable.
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:It means that you are not feeling
good about who you are, and I've had
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:explored on many episodes before about
the importance of value creation.
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:Learning about who you are as your own
identity in order to move towards that
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:purpose, so I encourage you, if you
haven't listened to those episodes,
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:go back and listen to that dialogue.
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:Listen to what I have to say when
it comes to generating not just that
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:messaging, but that ability to create
the best version of yourself, but if
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:you're ever going to get over your fear
of yourself in order to become the best
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:public speaker, know that it isn't about
just the fear that you have to overcome.
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:It means getting a little bit
more comfortable and practicing
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:when it really counts the most.
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:For the longest time of my life,
I've always thought that I needed
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:to have all these immense skills.
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:I needed to have this knowledge,
these abilities, this background.
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:Of course, everybody needs to have a
niche, and I always struggled to find
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:my niche, especially since I always
looked at the world, according to my
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:therapist, as being black and white.
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:I don't think she's too far off from the
truth, because I sometimes have a hard
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:time being creative, and being creative
means that you have to explore realms
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:that, oftentimes, are not what are really
the things that you should be working on.
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:There are oftentimes the things
that you should be working on in
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:order for you to be able to feel
like you're connected with everyone.
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:That means going out, exploring
what the world has to offer.
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:Stop living in your own bubble.
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:Learning that sometimes the troubles
that we have in this world are all shared
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:across a common dimension, but it also
means opening up before it's too late,
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:because otherwise, that message that you
have, will never be shared with the world.
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:There was a point in my life, over
4 years ago, that I thought that
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:I needed to change that message.
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:I needed to keep moving forward.
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:I needed to stop living in the past.
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:I needed to stop thinking
that nobody cared.
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:The messages that I told myself, were
not just on the fact that I had a
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:lot of things going on in my life.
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:It was the fact that I had listened
to other people's stories, and them
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:telling me that my story was no good;
that my story didn't matter, and that
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:even sometimes for that matter, the
perspective that I would bring, was
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:absolutely negative and latrocious.
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:The thing is, when you know that you
are trying to work on yourself and
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:you're really trying to work on the
things that you want to do in your
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:life, you pour everything that you ever
have, every morsel, crumb, figment of
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:imagination, into the power that you know
that you can convey to your audience.
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:In other words, stop believing what
other people or other things have
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:told you, even your own version of
yourself, so that you're able to
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:say, "This is my message, and here
is why I'm telling it to you today."
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:There are a lot of different ways
in which you could go about this.
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:It's not just about writing a bunch
of ideas down, or even struggling to
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:figure out what is truly necessary
for you to feel comfortable about
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:the way that you express it.
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:Whether it's about your vocal variety,
your body language, even your eye
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:contact for that matter, those are
just some of the small points that
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:matter in terms of the bigger picture.
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:How do you rope in your audience?
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:How do you create that value proposition
that they should be listening to you?
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:What is it that you should conclude
with that makes it memorable so that
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:others can remember who you are?
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:I don't know about you, but if you ever
want to visit Sam Glenn, maybe he might
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:be one of your first inspirations.
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:I know I'm going to keep looking at him.
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:I know I'm going to keep looking at
what he's been able to accomplish,
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:especially since then, which has been
a remarkable motivational speaker,
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:author, and artist career that he's had.
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:There's plenty of YouTube videos to
prove it, but the things that we're
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:really trying to unlock, the power
that we have in ourselves to view that
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:opportunity, has to start with us.
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:Open that window.
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:Look inside your soul.
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:What is it that you're
really afraid of not sharing?
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:If you do share it, other people might
make fun of you, maybe even ridicule you,
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:maybe even make you feel less of a human.
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:Maybe those are the people that haven't
been in your corner all along, and maybe
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:you need to stop listening to them today,
because the message and the power that
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:you can share through your own words, your
own body language, the way in which you
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:speak it, could be something of a gift
that somebody needs to hear today and
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:you need to give it before it's too late.
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:I know that after all this time, I am
finally doing something that is going
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:to help impact so many different people,
and I can't wait to continue to work
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:on that journey, and we'll share it
with you, and be able to work with you,
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:one on one, because I know that every
time that I make a step towards that
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:contribution, it's going to be a bigger,
better version of who I am, but more
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:importantly, it's going to be a bigger,
better version of who you are, and as
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:long as you can look at yourself in the
mirror at the end of the day, and know
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:that you're giving it all you got, you
can overcome that fear of public speaking.
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:You can not just be successful in the
personal and professional development, but
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:you can also achieve greatness in so many
more ways than just the financial sense.
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:It's only about what you have
that really matters the most,
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:so share that gift today.
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:Start testing it out, and trust me on
this, all the success that you ever
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:wanted will be coming your way very soon.
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:Thanks for listening to episode
number 115 of Speaking From the
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:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart, very soon.
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:Outro: Thanks for listening.
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:For more information about our podcast
and future shows, search for Speaking From
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:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
wherever you listen to your podcasts.
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:Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz
for more information about potential
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:services that can help you create
the best version of yourself.
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:See you next time.
