Episode #138 - Finding Love In All The Right Places (For All Parts Of Your Life): An Interview With Navi Bliss

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 138 of Speaking from the Heart.

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Today, we have Navi Bliss as our guest,

and Navi is the demystifier of personal

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relationships, cultivator of confidence,

certified love and relationship coach,

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certified inspirational speaker, and

host of the Blissful Love podcast.

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She is a contributing author in

two number one best selling books.

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One is called, Our Yellow Brick Road, and

the other is called Healing and Growth.

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Growing up with a mother who was

physically and emotionally abusive

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left Navi with a tattered sense

of self and low self esteem.

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This sent her on a path of a horrible,

toxic, and abusive set of relationships,

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until she reached her breaking

point in: 2016

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from another abusive relationship.

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After going on a healing journey,

Navi was able to flip the script on

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her own life and is now determined

to help others to do the same.

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Navi's mission is to help people fall

head over heels in love with themselves

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so they can effortlessly attract

the life and love of their dreams.

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Navi uses her stories of overcoming

childhood abuse and neglect to inspire

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others that anything is possible.

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The wholesome aspect of this episode

comes from the fact that we have all

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kinds of ways in which we can go through

life loving one another, but if we

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keep on repeating the same havoc, the

same terrible types of relationships,

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even as my guest's bio even points

out, we're never going to be able to

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overcome those stigmas; those repeating

patterns that always happen in our lives.

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She talks about four pillars, which we'll

talk about at the end of the episode,

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but it's something that I find that

we open ourselves up to the unlimited

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potential because we're able to figure

out inside of ourselves that we need

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to work through difficult situations,

overcome obstacles, and hold ourselves

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accountable that we have that ability,

that vision, to go to the next level.

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Never say it's impossible, because even

if you repeat it over and over again,

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even if you think that you find yourself

insane, especially going through all

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these different types of situations,

just know that you will get to the other

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side, especially like my guest has today.

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But with that, let's go to the episode.

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Alright, we're here with Navi Bliss.

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Navi!

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Thanks for sharing your

heart with us today.

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Navi: I'm really excited to

be here and share my story.

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Joshua: I am too.

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I'm super excited about not only the

things that we're going to talk about

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today, but you have a interesting business

in itself that I am looking forward to

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hearing about, but I let the audience

know a little bit about your background,

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Navi, but I'm really am curious to

start out with this first question.

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Why, oh why, would nobody love you,

because that's just seems so sad, and I

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think that you are a very lovely lady, and

I'm really saying that because I'm looking

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at you, and I feel that for many people,

sometimes finding someone else is very

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tough but you do your work around that

sort of playing field, so I'm wondering if

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you could tell a little bit more of your

expanded story, and also share a little

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bit about why you decided to help others.

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Navi: Absolutely, so my own journey

started, actually, I would say in

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childhood, because I grew up in a home

with a mother who is physically and

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emotionally abusive towards me, and so

my entire life, all I remember is wanting

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to be loved, and wanting validation,

because I did not receive that at all.

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All I received was everything negative

you can imagine, and so I just never

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developed that self worth and that self

esteem, and that, of course, pushed me

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to seek it anywhere I could outside of

myself, and then I got married when I

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was very young, and when I met my ex

husband, I thought, "Okay, this is it.

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Someone chose me.

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Someone loves me.

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Not everything that my mom said about

me is wrong, and now I'm validated.",

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and then he had a child with somebody

else while we were married, and

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of course that came crashing down,

and that's what happens when you

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outsource your worth to other people.

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It can just come crashing down around

you, and So if you say I had a negative

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self esteem of negative 100 before I

started, it doubled, so it was at least

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negative 200 after that happened, and

of course, that sent me on an even worse

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path of just seeking love anywhere that

I could, and I ended up into domestic

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violence relationships, back to back,

and after I got out of the second one,

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because that is actually very dangerous

when you're actually trying to leave

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a domestic violence relationship,

and when I got out of that, that

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was a grace, and I realized, "Okay.

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This can never, ever happen to me

again, because if it does, I don't

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even know if I'm going to survive

it, so I have to figure this out.

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I have to figure out what is going on, why

I keep ending up in these situations.",

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and I realized that what had happened

to me in the past wasn't my fault, but

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I was an adult now and I was deciding

what I was allowing into my life, and

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I was allowing people into my life that

were treating me very, very poorly, and

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that sent me on a healing journey myself.

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It included therapy; included coaching,

and through that, I actually learned that

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all of this love that I'd been seeking

outside of me, I actually had the capacity

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to give it to myself, that it was possible

for me to self validate and for me to feel

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good and just wake up every day and feel

good, and then through that, I actually

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started to attract differently because

I was radiating something different.

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I was putting something out there,

and I found my passion and purpose,

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because I know that there are so many

other people that are also struggling

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with their self worth and confidence,

and as a result are in really, really

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terrible relationships in their life,

and I'm passionate about helping people

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to step into their worth, to step into

their magnetism so that they can attract

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everything that they want in their life

effortlessly, because attraction is the

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same, whether you want to attract your

soulmate, or whether you want to attract

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your soulmate client and your business,

and it all starts with you, so that

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is the beauty of the work that I do.

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It's not dependent on anyone else.

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It's dependent on you, and you change

and your whole world is going to change.

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Joshua: You literally just told my story

of how I got to this point, because I

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realized that I wasn't loving myself

for the longest time, and I also have

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heard from many people that have seen me

grown, even since I opened this business,

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even started this podcast, "Josh.

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You're really doing your calling.

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You're doing amazing things.

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Seems like you're loving yourself.",

and I'm like, ": 1000

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That is exactly the truth."

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What was the switch for you, because

you said something about going through

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two domestic violence relationships.

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so first off, I'm glad that you made it

through those relationships, because those

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can be very seriously dangerous like you

said, I have had guests on the show that

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have shared that sort of past experience

and how they've grown from it, so I'm glad

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that you're here to be able to share your

story, and I know that for many people,

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it could be very tough to do so, so for

you to be this courageous to be able to

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do that, I just want to give you kudos

for sure, but how do you help people if

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they are going through this process of

just not loving themselves, or they're

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not loving what they're doing in life?

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Is there something that you

have found to be really helpful?

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You said something about

magnetism, and I'm curious if

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there's a connection with that.

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Navi: Yeah, so I have a system that

I created, and the foundation of that

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system is four pillars of confidence, and

I love to start with these four pillars

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because these are things that are really

great for someone that is actually coming

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out of trauma, and they're not ready to

do affirmations, or to do those types

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of things, right, so my four pillars.

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The first one is to live your passions,

because you cannot be confident, you

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cannot feel good about yourself, if

you're not living your passions, because

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if you're bored with your life, that's

going to radiate out as boredom, so

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maybe you're stuck in a job that you

have to do, because you have bills to

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pay, right, and you're not passionate

about it, which is absolutely okay, but

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you have to be able to integrate your

passions into your life, because imagine

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you're out on a date with somebody,

or you're meeting up with friends,

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and they ask you, "How's your week?"

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"Well, I went to work, and

then I came home, and I

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watched TV, and I went to bed."

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That's not going to radiate confidence.

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You're not going to feel good about

sharing that with other people.

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Other people aren't going

to be interested in you.

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That is not magnetizing, but if

you're living your passions, and

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several times a week you're doing

activities that you're passionate

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about, and it could be anything.

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Maybe you're playing a sport.

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Maybe you're taking a dance

class, it could be knitting.

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It could be joining a video game group.

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It actually doesn't matter

what your passions are.

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One, you're starting to live a life that

you feel excited about, and when you talk

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about that, whatever it is, even if the

other person isn't interested in that,

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but you're talking about it from a place

of enthusiasm, you become more magnetic.

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You become more interesting to the other

person that's now listening to you.

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Also, you're going to find your community

that you gel with when you're doing

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these activities that you love, and in

dating, also, you can't play hard to get.

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You have to be hard to get.

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Now, if you have a very full life, full

of activities that you're loving, you

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are going to be hard to get because

someone can't book you at the last

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minute, because you have an athletic

practice that you have to go to, or you

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have something else that you're doing

and you're already booked in, and someone

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has to find time and plan ahead and do

all of these things with you, right?

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Then my second pillar of

confidence is to live your values.

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One of the ways that I define confidence

and worth is to be at peace within

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yourself, so there's parts of you

that aren't fighting, because you

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can't be confident when you're not in

full alignment, and this happens when

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you're not living your values, so when

I say this, most of the time people

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are like, "Of course I'm living my

values.", but a lot of times, people

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have values that are in conflict

with other values that they hold.

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One example could be you value financial

success, and then you also value ease,

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and fun, and freedom, and in your pursuit

of financial success, you have come

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up with the idea that you're going to

achieve that through extreme hustle.

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There's no fun, freedom,

and ease in your life.

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These values are in conflict, so either

you have to redefine what success means to

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you, and perhaps it's going to be balance,

perhaps it's going to be adding different

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things to your life, or if you really

love the hustle, some people do, right?

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I'm not here to tell you

what your value should be.

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Maybe you let go of the other values,

because they're not as important to you.

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So you're not in conflict.

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Another example of this could be you

value thinness, but you are not thin.

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With this, you are not going to

value yourself, or feel good about

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yourself, if you're valuing thinness.

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Now you can question this

and you can think about it.

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Is it really thinness?

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Is this something that is super

important to you, or is this

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something that you've taken in,

because society has told you this?

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Could you change it to health, because

valuing health is very different than

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valuing thinness, right, and you can

be doing things to take care of your

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health, without being at your optimum

health, and you can be living within

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your values, and you can start to

feel better about yourself, so find

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the areas of your life where your

values are in conflict so you can

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alleviate that and come into alignment.

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My next one is to cultivate self trust,

and cultivating self trust is really

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important because you cannot love someone

you don't trust, and that includes

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yourself, and when you don't trust

yourself, it's also going to make you a

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very prickly person, because you won't

be able to set boundaries with other

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people, and where people have issues

with self trust is they start making

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these big promises to themselves, and

then they break them every single day.

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An example could be I'm going

to wake up tomorrow, 5 a.

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m., and I'm going to work out for two

hours before I go to work, and then

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tomorrow comes, snooze, snooze, snooze.

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Doesn't happen.

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You feel like garbage.

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You do the same thing the next day.

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You trust yourself even less.

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You start to believe in yourself even

less, and oftentimes you're setting

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these big lofty goals for yourself,

because you're very unhappy where

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you are right now, and you want

180 change in your life overnight.

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Your life doesn't change.

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It doesn't do a 180.

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Change is not like that.

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It's incremental.

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It's always incremental, right?

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Joshua: Mmhmm.

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Navi: But these promises that you're

making and breaking, they're breaking

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this trust you have in yourself.

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They're making you feel worse and

worse, so a lot of times it's just

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distilling it down to something smaller.

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Could you just say, "I'm going to wake

up five minutes earlier and I'm going

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to do 10 pushups?", and then when

you actually do that, you have this

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sense of pride and accomplishment.

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If you do 10 pushups every day for a

week, are you going to look different?

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Is your life going to change?

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No, but you're going to start to build

this sense of pride and accomplishment and

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trust within yourself, and that trust is

going to take you farther, and allow you

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to be able to accomplish more and more.

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Now, the exercise is just one example,

maybe you excel at that, but everybody

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has areas in their life, typically

where they are breaking promises to

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themselves, and they're not cultivating

self trust, so that's something that you

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want to work on, and my last one is to

practice loving kindness to yourself.

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There's four areas where

you have to do this.

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You have to do something for your

spiritual well being every single day.

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You have to do something for your

mental well being every single day.

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You have to do something for your

physical well being every single day,

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and you have to do something for your

aesthetic well being every single

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day, and all of these areas matter.

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You have to put practices in place,

because self worth isn't one of those

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things that you just do it once.

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"I've built my self worth, now I'm good."

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You have to have practices in place

to keep feeling good, and all of these

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areas of your life matter, and they

don't have to be big things, right,

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so for your spiritual well being, if

you practice a religion, you could do

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some sort of activity related to that.

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If you don't, you could go to

a park and hug a tree, right?

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Just connect to something

bigger than yourself, right?

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Take a few moments every single day.

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For your physical health, you could

just wake up every day, and say,

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"I'm going to drink a glass of water.

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Just one glass of water."

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Right now, you're showing yourself that

your physical well being matters, right?

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Then for your mental health, you

could do a two minute meditation.

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You could say an affirmation.

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It could be any variety of things, but

that you incorporate into your day, and

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then the last one is the aesthetic, which

also matters, and I think people had this

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experience during the COVID lockdown.

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I think most people had a number

of days where they didn't shower.

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They wore the same stinky clothes-

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Joshua: Guilty as charged.

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Navi: And they felt like garbage,

because if you're showing up in

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the world like that, you are not

going to feel good about yourself.

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Now, this doesn't mean you have to be

full glam every single day, but you

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have to get up every single day, and

take a certain amount of pride in your

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appearance, like shower, clean clothes,

like the basic stuff where you went

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to the grocery store and you ran into

your neighbor, you're not going to

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be embarrassed, or want to run away.

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You feel comfortable, right, because

all of these things are important if

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you want to start to feel comfortable

in your own skin every single day, and

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then there's a big bonus that happens

when you do all of these things.

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When we put our time and attention towards

something, we naturally start to care

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about it, and I think most people have

had an experience where perhaps, it was

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like a celebrity, or an athlete, like

somebody that they had an obsession over.

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Maybe you still do, right?

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You have this person who you idolize

and love, and part of what makes them so

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special is the time that you're putting

towards them compared to everybody else,

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right, and if people don't believe me, an

exercise I have them do is go to the park

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and find a random insect, and stare at

that insect for an hour, like an ant or

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spider or something, and then see how you

feel after an hour if someone's about to

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step on your ant or to squash your spider.

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You're going to feel some sort of way

and you wouldn't even have noticed this

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insect before, and it's because you just

poured your energy into it for an hour.

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Now just imagine you're practicing

these four pillars and you start

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to pour this energy into yourself.

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That natural confidence, and that

magnetism, is going to start to build up.

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Joshua: Wow.

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That was a lot to share with those four

pillars, but I think those four pillars

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have so much that you have explained

that I think for my listeners, they will

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certainly be able to gain a lot out of,

and I think that for me, especially when

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it comes to love and dating, which some

of my friends listening to this, they know

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that I have sucked so bad with doing that,

and I think part of it too is because not

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only were you saying some of the things

that I was having trouble with, one of the

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biggest things is self trust and actually

practice love and kindness, because when

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I think about all the experiences I've

had, those things have been really the

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: 00:17:52

worst, and that's because not only was

I not given a great role model, which I

285

: 00:17:57

hate to say it, but my parents weren't

great role models when it comes to that.

286

: 00:18:01

Sorry, mom and dad, but it's the truth,

but the other thing is that I felt like

287

: 00:18:06

I had so much stigma to live up to,

and you mentioned something on your

288

: 00:18:11

website that kind of struck me too, is

that I see all these other people, and

289

: 00:18:15

as I've gotten older, they got married.

290

: 00:18:18

They've had kids.

291

: 00:18:19

I'm like, "What am I doing wrong?",

so I know I have some listeners around

292

: 00:18:24

the world that have that sort of issue.

293

: 00:18:27

What do you say to somebody that is

looking around and seeing all this,

294

: 00:18:31

quote unquote, success with dating as

opposed to, worrying about yourself.

295

: 00:18:37

Is there any advice you would give?

296

: 00:18:40

Navi: Yeah, so There's a couple of

elements to this, so just because

297

: 00:18:44

people are entering into relationships,

and you're seeing everybody around

298

: 00:18:47

you do this, not all of those

people are entering into a happy,

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: 00:18:51

healthy, harmonious relationships.

300

: 00:18:54

Even in my own social media feed, you

don't know the amount of times that I've

301

: 00:18:58

seen someone post the happiest couple

pic with these long things, notes to each

302

: 00:19:03

other, and then a week later, they're

announcing their divorce, right, so you

303

: 00:19:06

don't actually know what's happening in

someone else's life, so judging yourself

304

: 00:19:09

based on that isn't going to be helpful,

but the other thing is, is to understand

305

: 00:19:15

how attraction works, and how our brains

work, so our brains are survivalistic,

306

: 00:19:22

so they're working for our survival.

307

: 00:19:25

They are not working for our success,

because they have not changed much since

308

: 00:19:29

caveman times, so you are attracted to

what is familiar to you, not as what is

309

: 00:19:34

best for you, and how this happens is

when we think in terms of survival, so

310

: 00:19:39

imagine back in caveman times, there's

this path you're going down to go and

311

: 00:19:43

hunt for food, and there's a bear.

312

: 00:19:45

There's a bear on that path, but it's

a small one and you outran it, and then

313

: 00:19:49

there's like 15 other paths, but you

have no idea what's on those paths.

314

: 00:19:52

Are there bigger bears that can kill you?

315

: 00:19:54

Are there other obstacles that you're

not going to make it through, and

316

: 00:19:56

there could also be no obstacles.

317

: 00:19:58

It could be nothing else, but what your

brain knows is that you can go down

318

: 00:20:03

that same path and you can survive, so

your brain wants you to survive, so it's

319

: 00:20:06

going to keep directing you back towards

that same path so that you survive, and

320

: 00:20:11

this is what happens in relationships,

because a lot of people that struggle

321

: 00:20:15

with relationships, they keep dating

the same person over and over again in

322

: 00:20:18

a different body, and it is because it

is the pattern that they were wired to

323

: 00:20:23

because of trauma that they experienced in

their life, like chaos that they grew up

324

: 00:20:27

with, and you grew up in a chaotic home.

325

: 00:20:29

It doesn't even have to be abusive,

but let's just say your parents had

326

: 00:20:32

a lot of conflict with each other.

327

: 00:20:34

What feels comfortable to you is actually

chaos, because you know that you can

328

: 00:20:39

survive that, so when someone shows up in

your life that is presenting differently

329

: 00:20:44

than chaos, that is going to feel

unnatural to your nervous system, even

330

: 00:20:49

though it's what you want, right, so you

have to become aware of that, and then

331

: 00:20:52

learn to train your nervous system to

become comfortable with what you actually

332

: 00:20:56

want, rather than what you've experienced.

333

: 00:20:59

Joshua: Yeah, and it's almost like getting

on a bicycle and learning how to ride for

334

: 00:21:04

the first time, and then once you know

how to ride, then you know that's muscle

335

: 00:21:09

memory, so like 30 years down the road,

you'll be able to get back on a bike.

336

: 00:21:13

No problem.

337

: 00:21:14

It's the same sort of habit.

338

: 00:21:15

You've already learned how to deal

with it, but it's funny, because

339

: 00:21:19

I have not really done a good

job breaking those things down.

340

: 00:21:22

That is one thing that I still have

yet to work on, and I'm very vulnerable

341

: 00:21:26

on my show, Navi, as you can imagine

already hearing some of the things

342

: 00:21:29

I said, because it's the truth.

343

: 00:21:31

I know I need to work on a lot of things.

344

: 00:21:33

I'm not a perfect coach.

345

: 00:21:34

I know that you're not a perfect coach.

346

: 00:21:36

If there was such a thing as a

perfect coach, I want to meet them.

347

: 00:21:40

I really do.

348

: 00:21:41

Navi: Well, I actually had a mentor tell

me this once, that when you actually

349

: 00:21:44

decide to become a coach, that you

actually open your life up to more

350

: 00:21:48

obstacles, because you cannot help people

through things that you haven't worked

351

: 00:21:53

through yourself, and the more things that

you work through, the greater capacity

352

: 00:21:58

that you have to help other people.

353

: 00:22:00

Joshua: I had a coach when I started out.

354

: 00:22:02

His name is Gary, and Gary, if you're

listening to this, I love you, man.

355

: 00:22:06

Thanks so much for helping me

get my start, but Gary would

356

: 00:22:09

also say the same things.

357

: 00:22:10

He's like, "Dude.

358

: 00:22:11

You're going to find out and figure

out that you got to work through

359

: 00:22:14

all these things, and you're going

to grow so much stronger, and so

360

: 00:22:18

much better, than you are right now,

even opening this.", and I'm like,

361

: 00:22:22

thinking in the back of my head, "Eh.

362

: 00:22:24

Well, we'll cross that

bridge when we get there."

363

: 00:22:27

Well, no, the bridge is already there,

and you're walking over it, and that's

364

: 00:22:30

just what it is, is that you kind of

learn about how to do these things, and

365

: 00:22:34

I think that's so true about the dating

world is that sometimes you just have to

366

: 00:22:38

take a big step forward, but, I want to

just step back from dating for a second,

367

: 00:22:42

because you also deal with entrepreneurs

in that sense, in that realm, too.

368

: 00:22:47

If we were to take this same

conversation, and we would say

369

: 00:22:50

to somebody, "Find your passion.

370

: 00:22:52

This is what you should be doing."

371

: 00:22:54

How do you help them with that?

372

: 00:22:57

Navi: When it comes to your

passion, your passion is a

373

: 00:23:00

thing that you are called to do.

374

: 00:23:03

You are moved to do it.

375

: 00:23:04

You're not doing it because of money.

376

: 00:23:05

It's because you have to do it, right,

and a lot of times where entrepreneurs

377

: 00:23:10

get stuck is they start to believe

that they need another course.

378

: 00:23:16

They need another this, they need

another that, before they can be

379

: 00:23:19

successful, but here's the thing.

380

: 00:23:23

Whatever you're being called to, it's

because you already have the capacity

381

: 00:23:27

to help someone, and it's the thought

that you have to have all the answers

382

: 00:23:30

and your life has to be perfect.

383

: 00:23:32

Your life is never going to be

perfect, right, and you don't have

384

: 00:23:36

to have all of the answers, and most

people don't have the same coach

385

: 00:23:40

that takes them from a to Zed, right?

386

: 00:23:42

What they're looking for is a

coach to take them from A to B.

387

: 00:23:45

You already have that.

388

: 00:23:46

You already have that knowledge, and

it's just about trusting yourself, and

389

: 00:23:51

that you can lead someone from A to B,

and probably by the time they get to

390

: 00:23:56

B, you have made it to C now, and you

can also lead them from B to C, and

391

: 00:24:01

if not, then they're still going to be

appreciative of that journey that they

392

: 00:24:05

went on with you, and they're going to

go and find another mentor that can take

393

: 00:24:09

them to the next step, right, but it's

the same sort of doubt that creeps in

394

: 00:24:12

of, "I have to have all the answers.

395

: 00:24:14

I have to know everything.",

and you never will.

396

: 00:24:18

Joshua: I feel like I am going to have

to go on a date now with a coach to be

397

: 00:24:22

able to figure out where my next step is.

398

: 00:24:25

I'm sorry.

399

: 00:24:26

I just like had that thought

flash across my mind.

400

: 00:24:29

I was like, "Yeah.

401

: 00:24:30

I guess I'm also dating for coaches.",

so for any coach out there that would

402

: 00:24:34

like to help Your Speaking Voice LLC to

get to the next level, I'm interested.

403

: 00:24:38

I have applications to hand out if

you're interested in dating somebody

404

: 00:24:41

like me, and I'm just smiling.

405

: 00:24:43

I know that no one can see this, but

it's almost the same sort of tack, but

406

: 00:24:48

we do have that freedom of choice, and

I think that's really what this boils

407

: 00:24:51

down to is, what kind of choice we make

and not let our cavemen brain actually

408

: 00:24:56

step in the way, which is so true.

409

: 00:24:58

We get stuck in that- and cave women too.

410

: 00:25:01

Sorry.

411

: 00:25:01

I don't want to offend anybody.

412

: 00:25:02

There's cave men and cave women as well.

413

: 00:25:06

But Navi, I'm curious because you have

had all these stories of things that you

414

: 00:25:11

have been through to get to where you are.

415

: 00:25:14

When you're talking to someone that you're

trying to help, how are you leveraging

416

: 00:25:19

your experience to help that person get

to that next level, meaning, clients

417

: 00:25:25

come from all shapes, sizes, backgrounds,

all kinds of different things.

418

: 00:25:30

How you help them fit into that mold,

that situation that they're going through?

419

: 00:25:36

Navi: So one, it's not about fitting

into a mold, but it's just like the

420

: 00:25:40

biggest thing that I do as a coach

is meet people where they are, and to

421

: 00:25:45

understand that someone's best- this

is the biggest thing that I've learned

422

: 00:25:49

through my coaching journey is that

someone's best isn't my best, right?

423

: 00:25:53

They could be going at a different pace.

424

: 00:25:55

It could be better than my best.

425

: 00:25:56

It could be slower than mine, right,

and it's not about judging them.

426

: 00:26:00

It's about meeting them where they are,

and supporting them, and holding the

427

: 00:26:05

vision for the next place for them for as

long as I need to unwaveringly, because I

428

: 00:26:11

didn't get to where I am without support,

without help, and even where I am now,

429

: 00:26:16

I still have coaches, because there are

things that I want to do in places that

430

: 00:26:20

I want to grow in, the places I want

to take my business, that are holding

431

: 00:26:24

that bigger vision for me, and it's so

much easier to do that when you have

432

: 00:26:28

somebody who is supporting you, believing

in you, and can see the things in you

433

: 00:26:33

that you can't see for yourself yet.

434

: 00:26:36

Joshua: I think that's a good point about

trying to make sure you get somebody

435

: 00:26:40

that understands who you are, but also

sees where you want to go, and I think

436

: 00:26:46

for some of my clients, I've always

advocated that, yeah, I'm having you work

437

: 00:26:50

on this and I want you to do this sort of

work because it is your responsibility.

438

: 00:26:54

It's not my work, but I

see this bigger vision.

439

: 00:26:58

I always tell them about it because

of what they shared with me.

440

: 00:27:00

I said, "Look at the infinite

possibilities.", and I really work

441

: 00:27:05

more on the personal and professional

development side, and even for public

442

: 00:27:08

speaking for that matter, but for

your realm in which you're helping

443

: 00:27:12

entrepreneurs, you're helping those

that are going through love and dating

444

: 00:27:17

relationship issues, you're definitely

are helping them to find that inner peace,

445

: 00:27:22

if you will, to get to that next level,

and I just love the fact that you've

446

: 00:27:26

been through those, and you're right.

447

: 00:27:28

I said mold.

448

: 00:27:29

Shame on me, because we're not all created

equally, and I know that we have to find

449

: 00:27:35

our own little unique path in that, so

thanks for correcting me on that, and

450

: 00:27:39

that was a Freudian slip, if you will.

451

: 00:27:42

Navi.

452

: 00:27:42

I'm curious because as we get close to

the end, and just knowing a lot about

453

: 00:27:48

your story, reading it to the audience and

also hearing a lot from you, you've shared

454

: 00:27:54

this as being an author in a variety of

different books we didn't even get to yet,

455

: 00:27:58

but I'm wondering, what keeps you going?

456

: 00:28:02

I mean, what keeps you really

wanting to help others?

457

: 00:28:05

I mean, you could just been self

fulfilled by being able to answer these

458

: 00:28:10

questions, have these pillars that

you talked about earlier and be like,

459

: 00:28:15

"I got what I needed.", so why do it?

460

: 00:28:18

Why help others?

461

: 00:28:21

Navi: Because I really believe that this

is the reason why I went through the

462

: 00:28:25

things that I've gone through in my life,

because this is what I'm supposed to be

463

: 00:28:29

doing, and I have this ability to see

things for people, like really see their

464

: 00:28:34

success, and hold that space that comes

innately to me, and I love doing it, and

465

: 00:28:41

I know that what it feels like to be that

person that just wanted someone there,

466

: 00:28:46

and needed someone there, and to be able

to do that for another person, and to

467

: 00:28:51

see their success, it is so rewarding.

468

: 00:28:53

It is so rewarding to me to see the

success of my clients, to see them

469

: 00:28:57

thrive, to find the love that they

never thought was possible for them

470

: 00:29:02

to step out in their business and find

their confidence, and find their voice,

471

: 00:29:06

and to also become change makers that

are creating tremendous change, and to

472

: 00:29:11

know that I helped propel that forward.

473

: 00:29:13

That's the most incredible feeling.

474

: 00:29:16

Joshua: Tell me a little bit about

the book that came out about Broken

475

: 00:29:20

To Blissful that you just released.

476

: 00:29:22

It's your first solo book.

477

: 00:29:24

I know that you have written other

books that you've contributed to.

478

: 00:29:27

Does it help to talk about those sort

of subject matters in that book to

479

: 00:29:31

really expand upon what you just said?

480

: 00:29:33

Is that something that would

be a helpful resource for

481

: 00:29:36

those that we're picking it up?

482

: 00:29:37

Maybe you can share a little bit about

the book before we wrap up here for today.

483

: 00:29:42

Navi: Yeah, absolutely, so in my book,

Broken to Blissful, I really go into

484

: 00:29:45

depth of my journey, all of the places

that I struggled, and the things that

485

: 00:29:50

I did specifically in those moments to

pull myself out of it, so it is very

486

: 00:29:54

much a memoir, but it's a teaching

memoir, so I talk about the places

487

: 00:29:59

that I was in, and how I got out of

them, and I really wanted to have this

488

: 00:30:03

book as a resource, because I want to

be able to touch so many more people.

489

: 00:30:08

Not every single person has the resources

to work one on one with me, but I wanted

490

: 00:30:12

to create an affordable resource that

if you're feeling stuck, and one of the

491

: 00:30:17

ways that you're stuck is you're also

broke at the moment, I wanted to have

492

: 00:30:21

something that you could go and get very

inexpensively and use the tools in it

493

: 00:30:26

to be able to turn your life around.

494

: 00:30:29

Joshua: I will put a link to where you

can purchase that in the episode notes if

495

: 00:30:33

you're interested in having that resource,

and even afterwards, I wholeheartedly

496

: 00:30:38

encourage that if you are struggling

with that, reach out to Navi because I

497

: 00:30:41

feel like just hearing this today makes

me feel a little bit better about maybe

498

: 00:30:46

where I could lead my life if I'm just

willing to work on those four pillars

499

: 00:30:50

that you explained, so Navi, we're

pretty much at the end of our time here.

500

: 00:30:55

I was wondering if you could share for our

audience how they can reach out to you.

501

: 00:30:58

I know you have your coaching

business that will help others.

502

: 00:31:01

If you have any information as to how

they can reach out to you, how they can

503

: 00:31:06

get in touch as it relates to scheduling

maybe a consultation, if they want to

504

: 00:31:10

have more information before they walk

into a coaching session, maybe even have

505

: 00:31:15

some other books that maybe you want

a reference to and how they can access

506

: 00:31:19

that, maybe you could just provide how

they can just get through life and be

507

: 00:31:25

happy with who they are, be inspiring,

so with all of those things, I'll let you

508

: 00:31:30

have the last few minutes to share that.

509

: 00:31:33

Navi: Yeah, absolutely.

510

: 00:31:34

Thank you, so you can connect

with me on my website, which

511

: 00:31:37

is naviblisscoaching.com.

512

: 00:31:39

I'm also on all social media platforms,

just @navibliss, so feel free to send me

513

: 00:31:45

a DM if you have any questions, wherever

you're at, I love to have conversations

514

: 00:31:50

with people and connect, so don't feel

like you're going to be pushed into

515

: 00:31:54

high pressure or anything like that.

516

: 00:31:56

I want to make sure all my clients

are a good fit, so anyone that is

517

: 00:31:59

interested, I always do a free,

complimentary 20 minute call with

518

: 00:32:04

anyone before we even talk about getting

into a program, and doing a program.

519

: 00:32:08

My book, Broken to Blissful, is available

on Amazon, and then there's two books

520

: 00:32:12

that I'm also contributing author for,

and one is called Healing and Growth.

521

: 00:32:16

I have a chapter in there about overcoming

infidelity, and the other book is called

522

: 00:32:21

Our Yellow Brick Road, and if you're

a fan of the Chicken Soup for the Soul

523

: 00:32:25

series, you're going to love Our Yellow

Brick Road, because it's actually stories

524

: 00:32:29

of 10 inspirational speakers, and all of

the challenges that we overcame, and if

525

: 00:32:34

you're in a place where you're feeling

stuck, it can be really helpful to hear

526

: 00:32:38

multiple stories from multiple different

people that have overcome, because maybe

527

: 00:32:42

you can't exactly relate to one person,

but if you know that, hey, all of these

528

: 00:32:46

people did it and they're not any more

different or any more special than I

529

: 00:32:50

am, and they were able to do it, you

know that it's possible for you as well.

530

: 00:32:55

Joshua: Absolutely.

531

: 00:32:56

Anything is possible.

532

: 00:32:57

If other people are able to

do it, you can do it as well.

533

: 00:33:01

Navi, I'll put all those books in the

episode notes as well, along with all

534

: 00:33:05

that contact information, so for my

listeners, if you are interested, check

535

: 00:33:09

out the episode notes for more content

as it relates to that, but Navi, I

536

: 00:33:14

just want to say, for people that I've

had on the show, which I'm in over a

537

: 00:33:18

hundred some episodes at this point.

538

: 00:33:20

It's just been an amazing journey

for myself to hear a lot of different

539

: 00:33:24

fascinating stories of survival, grit.

540

: 00:33:28

I've had people that were on a boat

coming to America, escaping communism.

541

: 00:33:35

I've had people that have gotten through

all kinds of different types of ailments,

542

: 00:33:40

whether it's through a traumatic accident,

whether it's through medical illnesses,

543

: 00:33:45

whether it's through something that

happened in high school, but the one thing

544

: 00:33:49

that always sticks to my heart is those

that have been through domestic violence,

545

: 00:33:53

and that is something that in this

country, I still think it's underplayed

546

: 00:33:58

in terms of the things that you do.

547

: 00:34:00

Now you're in Canada, that's one

thing I didn't mention, so I've

548

: 00:34:04

noticed that in the United States,

there's still so much more work to do.

549

: 00:34:08

We've had so many high profile things

going on that I feel like the warning

550

: 00:34:13

signs are there, so I'm really am happy

to know that you're on the other side,

551

: 00:34:18

you're in a much better place, and to

top it all off, you're helping others,

552

: 00:34:22

and that's really important, so from one

coach to another, thank you very much

553

: 00:34:26

for being on Speaking from the Heart.

554

: 00:34:28

Thanks for sharing your story,

your testimony, and being part of

555

: 00:34:31

this awesome experience with me.

556

: 00:34:33

Thanks for sharing what

you have shared today.

557

: 00:34:36

Navi: Thank you so much for having me

on your show, and if I could just say

558

: 00:34:40

one last thing, if you have a loved one

that's experiencing domestic violence,

559

: 00:34:44

this is the one thing I want to share.

560

: 00:34:46

It can be really tempting to push them or

yell at them or be like, "Just leave.",

561

: 00:34:50

but that person is already in a place

where they're being so controlled, and

562

: 00:34:54

if you come at them from a controlling

place, you're just going to push them into

563

: 00:34:58

a place where they're further isolated,

and they feel like they can't come to

564

: 00:35:01

you, so if you have a loved one that's

experiencing this, just try to hold

565

: 00:35:06

space and be as kind to them as you can

so that when they feel ready that you're

566

: 00:35:11

the person that they can come to and they

don't feel shame around coming to you.

567

: 00:35:16

Joshua: That is so true.

568

: 00:35:18

I know I've said that about my

own attempt of ending my life that

569

: 00:35:22

people weren't giving me that space.

570

: 00:35:24

It just only created more ramifications,

so definitely don't pressure somebody

571

: 00:35:29

that is going through that, because

it is a decision that they have to

572

: 00:35:32

make, and as long as you know that

you're surrounding them in goodness,

573

: 00:35:37

as opposed to pressuring, that can

make such a big difference, so Navi,

574

: 00:35:41

thanks for sharing that, and again,

thank you for being part of the show.

575

: 00:35:44

Navi: Thank you.

576

: 00:35:46

Joshua: Again, I want to thank Navi for

sharing her story today and also sharing

577

: 00:35:50

all kinds of different possibilities that

we can have in our lives just by building

578

: 00:35:54

upon the four pillars that she even talked

about, and that's really where I want to

579

: 00:35:58

start this conversation, because even if

you think about love in the variety of

580

: 00:36:02

different forms that it takes place, which

even many different authors, Gary Chapman

581

: 00:36:07

for that matter, even talk about in many

of their books about how we approach

582

: 00:36:12

that, even in a relationship basis.

583

: 00:36:14

We have to figure out that we get to

the bottom of it all by understanding

584

: 00:36:18

how we can feel helped, to feel love

through validation, by finding the ways

585

: 00:36:23

in which you experience opportunities

to explore this concept, because it's

586

: 00:36:28

something that isn't just given to us.

587

: 00:36:30

We sometimes have to work for it too,

so there's two different modalities

588

: 00:36:35

essentially that we're working towards

to find that passion, to find that

589

: 00:36:39

love, especially in our lives, but

I love that her pillars talk about

590

: 00:36:44

living your passions, living your

values, cultivating that self trust,

591

: 00:36:50

but also practicing love and kindness

with yourselves, which I really want

592

: 00:36:53

to explore one by one as we go through

the wrap up of this episode, because if

593

: 00:37:00

we think about even passions for that

matter, we have to find ways in which

594

: 00:37:04

we can make ourselves feel enthusiastic.

595

: 00:37:07

I think a lot of what even Navi's story is

about is figuring out how we can find the

596

: 00:37:11

excitement in a relationship with someone.

597

: 00:37:14

Sometimes it's not very easy, and

when it's not very easy, we might

598

: 00:37:17

not be with the right person to

be able to create that value, to

599

: 00:37:21

create that sense of companionship.

600

: 00:37:23

We have to live the passions that

we have to explore for ourselves,

601

: 00:37:27

and that's going to be very hard.

602

: 00:37:29

You have to be hard to get,

especially when you have exacting

603

: 00:37:33

standards for why you want to

fall in love in the first place.

604

: 00:37:37

I think we even settle for less,

and I know that in many past

605

: 00:37:41

relationships that I've been

through, which have been traumatic

606

: 00:37:44

in nature, I have let my guard down.

607

: 00:37:47

I didn't know what I want, and now I do.

608

: 00:37:50

I know that I need to figure out a

better system, especially if I'm ever

609

: 00:37:54

going to be a better person for a

relationship, and that's something

610

: 00:37:58

that I'm even working on to this day.

611

: 00:38:00

It doesn't mean that I'm hard to get.

612

: 00:38:03

It just means that I need to figure out

first what I really want, so that I can

613

: 00:38:07

share with that person what I'm expecting,

so living your passions should be the

614

: 00:38:12

number one thing that you are absolutely

trying to do to explore that self love, or

615

: 00:38:18

even the love that you want for somebody

else, to create that value in your life.

616

: 00:38:23

Even if you have that, you

have to live your values.

617

: 00:38:26

Number two, essentially,

is to be at peace.

618

: 00:38:30

Find that way in which you can

live with yourself with the values

619

: 00:38:34

that you truly want to live.

620

: 00:38:37

Whether it's with integrity, whether it's

with respect, maybe you have honor, maybe

621

: 00:38:42

if you want to have the understanding

that communication is so important to you,

622

: 00:38:48

but don't define it at just a high level.

623

: 00:38:50

You have to break it down sometimes so

that people know what exactly you're

624

: 00:38:55

trying to do, and I know even for

myself, it's so easy to say that, but I

625

: 00:38:59

also know that I'm a work in progress.

626

: 00:39:02

If I really want to build those values,

that means that I have to work on

627

: 00:39:07

myself, along with all the other things

that come along with it, so living your

628

: 00:39:11

values means that you have to understand

what you represent, but be at peace

629

: 00:39:16

with them at the same time, but even

then, you have to earn that self trust.

630

: 00:39:22

You have to cultivate that within

yourself; number three, because if you

631

: 00:39:25

don't trust yourself, if you don't believe

in the trust that you have, no matter

632

: 00:39:30

what it comes from, you will never,

ever find that love, both internally

633

: 00:39:36

and externally, and I really think that

for me personally, I felt that from

634

: 00:39:40

Navi's story, and I felt that confidence

even in the interview, of how trusting

635

: 00:39:45

and caring that she wants to be with a

potential partner, let alone herself for

636

: 00:39:49

that matter, but even with those three

things said, practice, practice, practice,

637

: 00:39:55

especially with love and kindness.

638

: 00:39:57

It's a skill that we have

to continuously mold.

639

: 00:40:00

We have to refine.

640

: 00:40:01

We have to find the right language

in which we can communicate

641

: 00:40:04

that love for someone else.

642

: 00:40:07

Now, even with all those things said,

I know that building on those four

643

: 00:40:11

pillars of confidence means that

we have to build upon ourselves.

644

: 00:40:15

We have to learn that our brains are

not working against each other, because

645

: 00:40:19

our brains, as much as they want to

manifest protection and making sure

646

: 00:40:23

that we're okay at the end of the day,

means that we have to learn survival.

647

: 00:40:28

What does it mean to grow value?

648

: 00:40:29

What does it mean to create

that authenticity in ourself?

649

: 00:40:34

Sometimes we have to figure

out that we are dating someone

650

: 00:40:37

that is in a different body.

651

: 00:40:39

Having that conflict, having that chaos

that takes place while we're manifesting

652

: 00:40:44

that confidence, means that we have to

learn where those responding points of

653

: 00:40:48

our body are at, which means that it's

not just a physical manifestation, it's

654

: 00:40:54

an emotional manifestation, but I know

that even if you're hearing all this, you

655

: 00:40:59

might be asking yourself, "That's great.

656

: 00:41:01

I have no idea what you've been

saying the last five minutes,

657

: 00:41:04

Josh, but it sounds all awesome.

658

: 00:41:07

Can you just break it down for me

in just one, concrete sentence?"

659

: 00:41:12

Absolutely.

660

: 00:41:13

Are you ready?

661

: 00:41:15

Open yourself up to the obstacles

and the opportunities that come along

662

: 00:41:21

with it while you're enjoying success.

663

: 00:41:25

Obstacles, opportunities, and success.

664

: 00:41:29

We're never going to get it

right the first time, maybe

665

: 00:41:32

not even the second time.

666

: 00:41:34

For me, it's about a dozen times now that

I've tried in my life to fall in love,

667

: 00:41:39

but every time I've screwed it up, whether

it's with someone else, or I know for a

668

: 00:41:45

fact, it is me, but you have to learn that

you're not doing it because of all the

669

: 00:41:50

things that are going on in your life.

670

: 00:41:53

It means that you have to understand

that success comes from the things

671

: 00:41:58

that you're called to do, what

you're willing to fall in love with.

672

: 00:42:02

Whether that is really with a

person, or where I'm heading this

673

: 00:42:05

conversation towards, which is the

things that you really enjoy doing,

674

: 00:42:11

because if you don't love what you're

doing, you'll never find success.

675

: 00:42:15

You will always hate and dread

what you're really trying to do.

676

: 00:42:20

There have been many jobs in my life,

even the jobs that I sometimes have

677

: 00:42:24

held and talked about on this show,

that made me feel like maybe I had to

678

: 00:42:28

go through that period of time to learn

something about myself, but I should

679

: 00:42:33

have never held myself back from that

unlimited potential that I have inside

680

: 00:42:37

of myself, because I should have found

the love that I was seeking a long time

681

: 00:42:43

ago, but you have to hold that vision

of what you're really looking for.

682

: 00:42:49

The vision that we have for ourselves,

whether that is with someone else,

683

: 00:42:53

or who we want to be, means that we

might have to challenge the status quo.

684

: 00:42:58

We have to hold ourselves to a higher

standard, and even if you say that

685

: 00:43:02

maybe I should do it, you should

do it, because part of this whole

686

: 00:43:07

process, this whole vision that

we're working towards, means that we

687

: 00:43:11

have to leave room for improvement.

688

: 00:43:14

You have to have an opportunity to

grow, and when you have opportunities

689

: 00:43:18

that you're trying to excel in,

the goals in which you're trying to

690

: 00:43:21

accomplish, it means that you have to

have a bigger vision for the overall

691

: 00:43:26

picture that you're trying to paint.

692

: 00:43:28

You have to learn that

success comes from trials.

693

: 00:43:32

It doesn't just come handed to you,

because if you think that everything

694

: 00:43:36

that everybody has ever received in their

life was handed to them, think again.

695

: 00:43:42

I'm sure you can think of a number

of different people that would

696

: 00:43:45

challenge even that assumption.

697

: 00:43:47

Even for myself, some of the family

members that I've had in my life

698

: 00:43:51

think that I was handed everything,

and they had some sort of jealousy.

699

: 00:43:56

They had false love for what I had,

because what was really false about

700

: 00:44:01

what I had was not just the things that

I've already tried to accomplish, some

701

: 00:44:06

of the things that I've already had

in my possession what they failed to

702

: 00:44:10

realize was that I had to work for it.

703

: 00:44:14

It was not easy for me to find it,

because I had to find the vision, the

704

: 00:44:20

courage in which I needed to attain

that level of opportunity to get to

705

: 00:44:25

that next level by challenging myself,

and friends, I think if we ever are

706

: 00:44:32

going to learn from stories like Navi's,

especially if we're going to date

707

: 00:44:36

someone, if we're going to fall in love,

if we're ever going to cultivate this

708

: 00:44:40

confidence that we have that we deserve

to be loved, we have to realize that

709

: 00:44:45

we have to strive for something bigger.

710

: 00:44:48

I know that that is easier said than

done, in this world in which is always

711

: 00:44:52

changing; that it's always trying to get

one on you, because it's always looking

712

: 00:44:58

to find ways to push back, and sure, maybe

there are situations that are causing

713

: 00:45:05

havoc, terrible confusion, maybe making

you feel like you're not so magnetic of a

714

: 00:45:10

personality, but we have to keep trying.

715

: 00:45:15

We have to keep learning and doing.

716

: 00:45:17

Not taking any shortcuts.

717

: 00:45:19

Not finding some sort of cheat book

in which we can hack into the system

718

: 00:45:24

and manipulate the code in our favor.

719

: 00:45:27

We have to learn that we have to grow

these opportunities by earnest hard

720

: 00:45:32

work, dedication, and commitment towards

what we're ultimately trying to achieve.

721

: 00:45:38

Hold yourself to a higher vision.

722

: 00:45:40

Find someone, like a love and

relationship coach, a professional,

723

: 00:45:45

personal development coach like myself

even, that will help you to realize

724

: 00:45:50

that you have bigger gifts to give.

725

: 00:45:53

Challenging yourself, even if you

feel that there is no problem, is

726

: 00:45:58

something that you still need to

push yourself to do, no matter which

727

: 00:46:03

way you might feel about yourself,

or even others for that matter.

728

: 00:46:09

That other person, that antithesis of

yourself, might be the one that's even

729

: 00:46:14

screaming the loudest, saying that

you're never going to be able to succeed.

730

: 00:46:19

You're never going to

be able to fall in love.

731

: 00:46:22

You're never going to be able to open

yourself up to new obstacles that can

732

: 00:46:26

challenge you to become the best version

of who you are, but let's face it.

733

: 00:46:31

Whether it's for love, or money,

or recognition, fame, sex, drugs,

734

: 00:46:36

alcohol, regardless of what it

is, even if it's good or bad, just

735

: 00:46:42

know that it does take hard work.

736

: 00:46:46

I believe in you though, just as much

as my guest believes in you, to try

737

: 00:46:52

to challenge yourself and how your

brain works, because our brain has

738

: 00:46:57

been wired from millions of years

ago to still think that we're in

739

: 00:47:01

this survival mode, and sure, maybe

conditions in today's world make you

740

: 00:47:07

feel that way, but is that a perception,

or is that really truly your reality?

741

: 00:47:15

I know that it is so easy to just fall

back, relax, and Netflix and chill,

742

: 00:47:21

especially with all the things that are

happening around you, but let's face it.

743

: 00:47:26

You have a lot more to offer,

especially to a certain someone

744

: 00:47:30

that you might have not yet met in

your life, or even had encountered

745

: 00:47:35

in your own version of yourself.

746

: 00:47:39

Can't you find a place where

you can be loved even more?

747

: 00:47:42

To be encouraged even more deeply

than you ever thought possible, but

748

: 00:47:47

to also create repeating situations

that make you happy as a whole?

749

: 00:47:52

I think it's possible.

750

: 00:47:55

I think it's truly a beautiful thing if

you're able to do that, because friends,

751

: 00:48:01

I believe you can live your passions.

752

: 00:48:04

I believe you can live the values

that you're trying to find peace with.

753

: 00:48:08

You're able to cultivate that self trust,

but more importantly, I know you have

754

: 00:48:14

it in you to spend a little bit more

time to practice intentionality with the

755

: 00:48:19

love and kindness that's inside of you,

because that's what I really want to see.

756

: 00:48:25

It's your authentic self, even in all

the love and all the relationships

757

: 00:48:31

that you have going forward.

758

: 00:48:33

Thanks for listening to episode

number 138 of Speaking From the

759

: 00:48:37

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

760

: 00:48:43

Outro: Thanks for listening.

761

: 00:48:44

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

762

: 00:48:48

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

763

: 00:48:53

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

764

: 00:48:59

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

765

: 00:49:04

See you next time.