Episode #32 - Is Coaching Just A Luxury?

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Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Welcome back to episode number 32 of Speaking From the Heart.

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Today we're going to talk about what coaching might mean for you,

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especially if you think it's a luxury?

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I hear this quite a lot from a number of different people that, "Oh, I don't

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have the money because it costs so much.

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I think I'm just going to put it off.", or I hear oftentimes, "I don't know if

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I really want to invest this much money into something that I don't know if

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I'm going to get something out of it.

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I think I will pass.", and afterwards when the client leaves, put my head on my desk

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and just think for a moment what could have possibly gone wrong, but then I think

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about the fact that, maybe, it's about the value that they don't see; the value

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that we often think about after the fact.

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Sometimes we want to see the value come immediately from having that

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interaction with a coach, with maybe the different types of people that

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are part of the process of helping to become something better; we often want

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that instant gratification, which I often think that has happened in that

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cultural mindset has changed a lot over the last three decades when it

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has come to the advent of the Internet, but we have to think about what this

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whole concept of coaching is all about.

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It isn't just about viewing it as a luxury; something that we can put off

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at any time if we really don't need to expend any extra money, especially with

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the way the economy is, which even as of this time of the recording, we have

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gone through quite a number of different events in the world stage as it relates

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to the value of what time is, and even the money that is invested into something

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like this, but I think we also have to look at the other side of the fence, which

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is what are the ramifications for not putting that investment into ourselves?

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Coaching is not to just think about the ways in which we can improve ourselves,

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which even in the last episode in which we talked about the five things you

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might have not known about my business or even myself, we have to consider the

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fact that it isn't just about what we see from the outward perspective, but

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what we can view ourselves from the inward perspective, and I often have

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to talk to clients initially that are prospects in nature about this exercise,

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because they often think through some of the things that have happened in their

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lives that coaching that I'm going to be receiving better darn well changed me

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forever, otherwise I want my money back.

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Unfortunately, that isn't how it always works.

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Coaching sometimes fails.

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Sometimes it doesn't work the way that it intends because of the proposition

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that was supposed to be happening from the start of the coaching relationship,

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because of those definitions and even those aspirations not being clearly

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defined, especially in the longer term success strategy of the client

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itself, it often creates problems for the relationship to continue

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past a certain point, especially if they don't see, from either the

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coaches or client's perspective, that things are going very well.

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I often hear about coaching being a luxury though, from even other people in the

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industry thinking that because I can make 5, 10, $25,000 working with a potential

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client, whether that is a person, an individual in nature, or even a business

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that I can justify the high exorbitant rates that I can charge, but I think it's

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all about not only value proposition in which we all have an understanding of

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what we bring to the table, not just what the coach will provide, but also what

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the client expects, but it's also about understanding what your capabilities are.

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Coaching in itself doesn't always mean that you have all the answers, and I often

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stress that so much with even some of my clients that this is just the perspective;

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a worldview that I have adapted, especially in the over three decades that

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I have lived on this earth, soon to be four, but don't tell anyone about my age.

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I have to say though that even with age, you can have so much different

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types of experiences, but they might not be in the best shape or form

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for what the client is expecting.

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That's why, oftentimes, when you have that mismatch of what the coach is

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supposed to be providing and what the client is expecting, that creates what we

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often see as this affordability problem.

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To me, when I work with my clients, especially when they're coming into

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the office and explain the problem that they have, I often do an analysis

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of what they are actually expecting from the relationship itself.

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A few of my questions that I normally ask are: Is it something that you want

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to see yourself change down the road?

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When you have that solution in your hand, is that something that you hope that will

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change other things, whether that is the personal relationships, the professional

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engagements, or maybe even have a new skill that you take that enhances you

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to become something better, or something that you never thought possible?

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Finally, what I really ask, and I even dive into quite a bit with initially

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is, what is it that you want to see me hold you accountable in becoming, or

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doing, as a result of working with me?

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Now, my formula amongst other techniques that I have talked about and will continue

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to talk about on this podcast and even with my guests, don't necessarily mean

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that it's always the right solution.

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We always have to adapt to what the things are that we're going through in our lives.

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Whether that is something that is fundamentally changing for the

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betterment of everybody or everything, whether that is for an organization

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or individual, but we also have to look at what's the value that we're

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essentially adding at the end of the day?

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That really begs the question: Is coaching really just a luxury?

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I think that we often have to take the perspective that when we have seen

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coaches in the yesterday, meaning of the past, we often think of the people

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that often were the legendary pioneers of having some sort of radical thought.

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Coaches come in all shapes and sizes.

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They are people in themselves that have made mistakes and even have

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learned lessons along the way.

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In essence, the value that is being brought by the business or even the

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individual is really the personality, and the attention to detail, amongst

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other sort of qualifications and backgrounds, is what they are really

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providing and putting at the table.

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If you decide to take it from the table, that means that you are

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genuinely interested in moving forward, and that often means that you are

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expecting something of that nature to come back and help you along the way.

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We have even heard of many people, even in the coaching business, thinking that

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they're able to do X, Y, and Z, but really they're only able to do maybe just X,

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because what their perspective is of X, Y, and Z might be different from what

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you might actually want, which is that X that you are attracted to, and I don't

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mean your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend.

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I'm talking about the X value of what you see in that person that's going

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to genuinely help you, so I think it's really important for us to understand that

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as you go through investments of time, energy, and commitment, especially with

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someone that you really genuinely look at as somebody that has gone so far in

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their career or aspirations, it's really about asking the deeper questions of what

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is it that you actually have done that have created what you have created today,

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alongside, what is it that you really want to see in the next 5, 10, maybe

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even 25 years of your own business that you're running, which I'm always open to

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discussing with potential clientele what I am looking to do down the road as a whole.

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I think that we often have to have that connection on a personal level,

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especially when we are trying to grow ourselves; to have that investment of

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the tremendous opportunities that we have inside of ourselves often requires

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us to understand the motivations and the techniques of what other people can do.

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We have to explore the misconception in the world that coaching isn't just about

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paying a lump sum of money, thinking that you get instantaneous results.

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It's about learning from the person that has gone through their experiences,

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offering some sort of new, unique idea or practice that might have been time tested

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over and over again to be perfected, but maybe, just maybe, it's somebody that

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has helped even other people see inside themselves what they're truly capable

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of doing, but I think that we have to stop looking at luxury as something

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that is a convenience that we pass away.

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When we are in midst of certain things, I get it sometimes

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that life throws curve balls.

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Those curve balls being that we have bills that we have to pay, we have children

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that get sick that we need to take to the hospital, we even have setbacks in our

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own lives in which we want to have some of those things that we lost, maybe from the

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pandemic, maybe from a loss in the family, maybe we were wanting to reclaim what we

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have lost, and we need to put that value that we have inside ourselves to something

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more important at the present time.

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Those are all valid excuses, but time and time again, I have heard clients

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say, "I don't think this is for me.

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I don't think I'm ready for it.", and I don't know if that's really the

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truth or maybe that is something that they're going through intentionally

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that they're just struggling with understanding or identifying where that

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value is that they really want to find.

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At Your Speaking Voice LLC, what I really am trying to do is not just

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see people for wherever they are at in their lives, but to assign a value

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that I think is appropriate for what they are actually going through.

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It's not going to be $5,000 to fix your life; maybe it's just going to be a

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couple hours each month at a nominal rate.

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That's not going to be a one-time shot of $25,000 so that your company's running all

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over again; it might be a time investment that $25,000 takes over a year to make.

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I think that we all have to understand that sometimes the concept of what we want

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as instant gratification might not always come at the same time, place, or manner

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that has happened with other people.

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Your podcast host, Joshua D.

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Smith, the very voice of this whole show, has been through very much those same

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challenges that we have gone through, maybe that you have even shared on

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this very show, or will share on this very show, but I think that we have

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to understand the viewpoints of what coaching can be from a longer term scale.

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What is it that it can change you to become that maybe you would've been

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otherwise afraid of doing because you've broken the cycle of fear, which

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in a future episode, we will talk about the concept of fear and maybe

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some ways in which you can overcome that yourself through the help of a

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coach, but I think that we have to understand that at the pivotal point

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of all of this is the concept of money.

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Isn't it true?

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Money is the root of all evil.

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I've heard that so many different times.

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I have even believed it at some times in my life as it relates to the various

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car repairs, the unexpected student loan bills, or even the different

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types of expenses that just come out of nowhere that we never thought we

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would have to pay, but here we are, emptying our wallets, or writing that

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next check, or even swiping the plastic.

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I think that we have to understand that money isn't just a understanding or a

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mutual agreement between two parties of what we would be compensated for; maybe

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you might be somebody that barters, maybe you have a service that you will

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provide to somebody else, and in return, you will receive something from that

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coach, or maybe that other individual, that's able to help them see or become

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the best version of themselves, but knowing your value is also what that

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coach is also charging you, because that coach wants to see you stay committed

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to the bigger, long-term picture of what you are ultimately going to become.

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That coach is spending that much extra of all the expense, resource,

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time, and commitment to see you become something that you never thought you

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could ever see in a million years, and that's why they are charging

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what your value is down the road.

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That is what they are seeking from you, but when you don't see it from the very

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beginning, that's why you are turned off.

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Maybe that's what's also flipping the switch off of this episode of maybe not

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even listening because you are going through something that you have to

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challenge yourself to get through first; to understand that maybe you can interact

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with a coach in a way in which you never thought you could imagine before.

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I think that we often want to have this conversation about, "Well, he can do a lot

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more than this other coach, so why don't you go with him or her for that matter?",

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and that's perfectly fine as well, but when you don't have a chance to give to

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somebody to actually see if it's a good fit, maybe you need to start challenging

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your own mindset and maybe your own view of what you think is really important.

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Is maybe going to that sunny destination in Florida, or even

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Jamaica or The Bahamas really worth it?

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Maybe that excursion overseas, being able to have something of a lifetime,

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might be the experience that you're willing to pay any amount of money

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for, but are you willing to pay enough money to help yourself see

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the best version of who you are?

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Are you willing to put an investment of everything that you ever thought possible,

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and seeing who you could potentially become down the road, if you're just

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willing to give yourself one more chance?

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Maybe, you just need that one extra shot in the arm by being able to be

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injected with the hope, opportunity, the determination, the relationships,

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maybe even courage for that matter, to set forth into some sort of vast new

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frontier that you never thought you would be able to see if it wasn't for

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somebody else pointing you along the way.

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Investments are totally up to you, and I'm not here to change your

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mind today, but I'm here to at least start the conversation about what

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you think might be a luxury or not.

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Oftentimes I want to hear what people are going through so that I know that I'm

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doing the right thing; so, drop a line.

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Of course, it's free: podcast@yourspeakingvoice.biz is

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certainly available to you if you ever want to share any of your thoughts

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about any of these episodes, even some of the information that is contained

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in them, because I really am curious: Do you think coaching is just a luxury?

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Do you think that all you can do is just do it by yourself and not have to worry

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about the money that goes along with it?

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Are you worried about putting a small investment in yourself that might create

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some of the most tremendous opportunities for growth and development that you

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have ever seen in your entire life?

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Why not give it a shot?

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Maybe you just might change your mind, and maybe at the same time

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you're gonna change who you are, not only in the inside, but how you

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interact with others on the outside.

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Thanks for listening to episode number 32 of Speaking From The

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Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

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