Episode 88

Episode #85 - The Finer Points Of Life Not Explained Earlier

There are some common lessons that we learn through hard experiences, or those events in our life that we learn first hand. However, most of those lessons are either shown or discussed in parts of our life that have not much meaning until now: budgeting, sewing, hard work ethic, and resolving differences. In this episode, we will revisit these age-old subjects, but apply them to how we can align them into the best versions of ourselves.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Transcript
Intro:

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode number

85 of Speaking from the Heart, and if

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you were a kid growing up, I know that

you might have had some opportunities

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to learn a lot of different skills such

as sewing, cooking, maybe even figured

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out how to balance a budget, maybe

you even learned how to write a check,

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but some of these things that I even

just discussed are becoming a dying

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art, especially as we enter the year

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those are the things that we should

really be focusing on more than others.

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Especially when we think about the fact

that those skills, the things that we

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easily learn as a kid, are often forgot

about as an adult, and then we realize

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that those things that were being taught,,

about 18 to 20 years ago catch up to us.

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Now, it doesn't have to be necessarily

that time range, but it certainly can

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catch up to us at any point of our

lives, so today's episode is in honor

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of all those home ec teachers, all

those budgeting teachers, all those

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finance teachers, all those different

types of people in our lives that

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have helped us to become not just the

best versions of ourselves as a kid,

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but now making us realize and scratch

our head that we should have been

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paying attention a little bit more.

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I remember my home ec days, and also

learning a lot about what it meant

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to write a check for that matter.

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One of the teachers that

I had growing up was Mrs.

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Gundrum.

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She was a wonderful lady that, even

in high school, she showed so much of

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herself, not only in the way in which she

taught, but she also showed ways in which

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she cared about her students and was very

strict when it came to her grading policy.

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Not only did I learn how to write

a check, but I also learned how to

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balance a budget, understand what

credit cards mean, the whole nine yards

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when it came to the finance world.

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Now, you would have thought that I

would have went into some sort of

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business major when I went to college,

but that was certainly not the case.

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I went a completely different path,

going into political science, and

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even journalism for that matter;

so much for the journalism degree.

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I never even wrote on a newspaper!,

but even with all those things, I

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learned so much about the world of

business and what it meant to actually

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take a hold of what my destiny is.

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My mom was a great sewer.

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She was able to sew so many different

types of quilts, and even to this day,

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I still have some of the remnants of

those quilts from my childhood, and

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what she has given me as she starts

to continue to declutter in her house,

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but I love the fact that even with

these skills we are learning so much

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more about taking care of ourselves.

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If you ever think about the fact that

in Home Ec, we learned so many different

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things about cooking, measuring, how to

make sure that we knead the bread, how

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we were able to learn so many different

things about the stove, even the spice

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rack, which we take for granted today,

especially in the kitchen, and I know

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that for many of us, we might not have

that opportunity to cook every single day,

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let alone balance a budget, because we

delegate those services to someone else.

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Who would have thought?

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The very skills that we learn, the life

skills, are essentially sold as a product

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or service that blow up our news feed,

our Twitter feed, regardless of what it

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is, it has certainly taken control of

our lives, but even with those aspects

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in mind, have you really stopped to think

of the importance of what those skills

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can really create, not just in the best

version of who we are, but also represent

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the different attitudes and shifting

perceptions, which we've recently talked

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about in another episode, about the

importance of taking care of ourselves.

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I know that, for many years, I wasn't

taking care of myself using some of those

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basic skills, and now I am regretting it.

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Thinking about my mom and her sewing

skills really put me to shame: the rips

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that I have in my pants, the rips that I

have in my socks; now, I'm not quite sure

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how to sew, because I was not utilizing

those skills quite often, and those were

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really the finer points of life that I

should have really been paying attention

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more to, instead of worrying about

what was happening with other people.

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I think that's really putting into

perspective the fact that sometimes we

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give our attention to the things that we

should never, ever give our attention to.

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Nasty people.

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Difficult bosses.

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Unappreciative friends.

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Situations in which

are out of our control.

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Those subjects and so much more were

not covered in any sort of class,

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but yet, if we would have been able

to understand those finer skills of

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learning how to resolve conflicts,

having a hard work ethic, let alone

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being able to learn firsthand all these

different types of skills that our high

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school, college, or even other sort of

curricular activities could have taught

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us, maybe we would have been better off.

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Now, maybe you are one of my

listeners that has done such a great

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job of taking care of yourself and

have utilized all those skills.

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I will certainly hire you to teach me

all those things, because as I've always

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said on this show, other people that

have the great skills and abilities to be

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able to teach others that I don't cover

in my business, I will certainly hire

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you, and would love to have you on the

show, but those finer points in life

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weren't really explained until it was too

late for me to be able to learn and grow.

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Now, you might be saying, "Josh.

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You're almost 37 years of

age", which I really am.

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My 37th birthday here in a few weeks.

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"Are you really saying to me today that

you don't want to learn a new trick?

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Are you saying that you can't teach

an old dog new tricks really true?"

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Not at all.

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As a matter of fact, I think that

anybody at any age can learn so

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many different types of things.

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It doesn't matter what that

number is in front of you.

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It's really about your persistence

and your willingness to change, but as

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I've gotten older, I've realized that

there are other things that I know and

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I can invest in myself that I can say

to others and create that value that

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allows them to not only feel a lot

better about who they are, but they are

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able to learn some valuable skills in a

different sense, so for all those people

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out there that are able to sew, for all

those people that are able to balance

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a budget, which I am able to balance,

I think that we all are appreciative of

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you, and you should appreciate yourself.

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Give yourself a pat on the back

for the fact that you are able to

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do some of the things that even

some others are not able to do.

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I think that these subjects, regardless

of how you think, how you say, how you

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feel, how you react to them, and maybe

they conjure up memories of the past,

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they can really help you to create

those best versions of yourself if

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you know just a little bit of each.

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You don't have to be a master sewer like

my mom is; making quilts out of nothing,

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and essentially creating these tapestries

that can hang on walls and be appreciative

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because especially in the south central

part of Pennsylvania where we grew up the

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most, those are the sort of aspects that

are tradition and help us to really learn

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about not only the basic life skills, but

also make them feel a little bit better

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about what they're providing to society.

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Those are gifts.

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Those are exchanges of not only value,

but also appreciation for others.

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Now, before you go to the mailbox

and you send to Your Speaking Voice

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LLC all your quilts, and all your

other projects that you've been able

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to do so that I can feature them on

the show, think about it this way.

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I don't want to see all those items,

because you should be giving those items

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to somebody else that will have even

more value to appreciate from them.

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"Huh?

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What do you mean, Josh?

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Appreciate other values?"

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I've always been an advocate about the

fact that we need to be able to lean

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into others; be able to help them grow,

be able to let them see what you truly

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have to offer, and I know that in other

episodes we covered the fact that we need

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to figure out how that really interplays,

not only in our own life personally, but

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how we can extend that professionally and

beyond, and if you're still struggling

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with figuring out what that is, I

encourage you to go listen to those other

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episodes, and understand that maybe you

have a gift to give to this world, and

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you have yet to unlock it, but I think

that maybe if you're thinking about some

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of these subjects that I'm talking about

that conjure up some amazing memories, and

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make you smile inside, maybe those are the

gifts that you should start to focus on.

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Now, this might be the point of the

episode that I could easily end it and

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say, thanks for being part of Speaking

From The Heart, but there's a little

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bit something else that I really want to

share about this subject matter that is

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really important for us to understand.

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The lessons that we learn as a child,

especially growing up, are so important

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for not only the ways in which we

develop ourselves into an adult,

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but we often learn what those things

are that we need to have, or equip

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ourselves with, at a very young age.

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Many of us don't get that opportunity

to really be able to reteach

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ourselves the skills that we might

have been mistaught growing up.

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For example, being able to say "please"

and "thank you" is usually a courtesy

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in itself by making sure that you're

polite to somebody else that has done

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something for you and acknowledging

that they have given you something

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of great value, but some people don't

know how to say please and thank you.

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Some of them don't even know how

to open a door for somebody else,

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especially somebody that is disabled.

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I know for myself, whenever I go to a

gas station, or a grocery store that has

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some manual doors that you have to open

as opposed to those automatic ones, I

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always let that other person behind me

go first, and I don't know if that's just

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because I was always instilled with that,

especially in elementary school, which

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shout out to Oley Valley Elementary School

for teaching me some of those skills.

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I think there's a lot more that meets

the pass when it comes to the different

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opportunities that we have with not

only sharing what our gifts are, but

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what we learn as a child are also those

same gifts that we share with others.

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If you haven't never stopped to think

about the fact that as a child, we

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learned so many different things about

the finer points of life, maybe you need

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to reflect on the fact that those points

might have been missed, or maybe been

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lost, along the way in becoming an adult.

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I know for a fact that maybe you're

not opening a door, especially

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when you're going to work, because

who wants to go to work, right?

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Spend another 8 hour day, be able to earn

money, or even for my business owners,

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working 12 to 16 hours, because we all

know that we work way over what we should

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be doing, but yet, at the same time,

what if we extended the same courtesies

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that we learned as a child, by saying

"please" and "thank you" to the workforce?

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I know it sounds like a very

childish, simple concept.

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But if you really think about it, our

world needs a lot more manners, and

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our world needs to relearn a lot of

basic skills, to be able to teach and

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educate far beyond into the future.

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This episode isn't to lecture or educate

on the importance of having those sort of

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skills, because If you read any sort of

trade article, let alone even the "news

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media" about the importance of having

this because we're losing it, I feel

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like you're missing a bigger part of the

overall conversation that should be had.

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I think that we need to learn the fact

that those skills, let alone those

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opportunities that we've been granted

as a kid, whether it's writing a check,

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balancing our checkbook, regardless of

what it is, we need to be able to learn

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not only those skills, but continue to

educate to others those same basic skills.

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That doesn't mean that you need to show

somebody a cell phone and have them go

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on YouTube to learn everything, because

that's the cheap way out, and I know.

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It's so easy to turn to technology to help

us understand a lot of different things.

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I know I had to learn to tie a tie,

because as many times as my dad showed

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me, I couldn't quite pick up how he was

doing the knot, and he never would slow

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down to show me how that tie was tied.

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As an alternative, I went to YouTube, and

that's when I learned the famous Windsor

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Knot, and oh yes, ladies and gentlemen,

and especially my gentlemen, if you

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know what I'm talking about with tying a

Windsor Knot, it's pretty simple when you

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think about it, but those basic skills,

especially being taught by somebody else,

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that we are able to create and function

with, and we show it to somebody else,

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creates a personal connection that we

never thought we could ever have because

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we're now forming a relationship.

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Now you might have been wondering when

I was finally going to get to one of

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my values; there you go, but it isn't

just about the values of my business.

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The values of who you are.

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It's learning about how to work hard, how

to resolve differences, how to open the

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door, how to say "please" and "thank you."

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It's not just all those things, but it's

so much more than that, and I know that

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it might be really easy for us to adapt

these today, and maybe we have already

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adapted them as a child, and we can

continue to walk that path, but some of

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us have forgotten how to walk that path.

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Robert Frost wrote a wonderful

poem way back in his heyday

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about the road less taken.

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We have the road that has been paved, and

the road that hasn't been trudged upon,

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and I think that for many of us, we might

have walked on the road that has not

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been trudged upon so many times, because

it allows us to form new opportunities,

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new relationships, and create different

attitudes about how we can move forward

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in our lives, but sometimes, the paths

that have already been paved are also good

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to walk onto, so never forget about the

fact that balance can help us so much with

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not only explaining those finer points

in life, but also giving us some common

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sense lessons that we should be able to

share with everybody, regardless of your

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experience level, and don't only rely

on your parents, but also rely on your

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grandparents and other acquaintances that

help you understand that maybe there are

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some things that you can learn from them.

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It's never too late to learn, to be

able to understand that maybe some of

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the ideas, concepts, and knowledge of

this world have yet to be untapped,

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but yet at the same time, even if

you have tapped into that knowledge

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previously, it's always nice to have

a little bit of a refresher, because

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I don't know if you have a Mrs.

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Gundram or any other type of home ec

teacher in your life has created those

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opportunities to help you grow and

learn a lot of different basic skills,

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because even as I reflect on this

whole opportunity in our lives to be

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able to align with the best versions

of ourselves, it sometimes means going

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back in the past, addressing some of

the deficiencies that we've had as a

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child, and being able to relearn those

skills to create not just that best

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version, not just those opportunities,

not just those personal and professional

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endeavors, it allows us to learn a little

bit about humanity, and the last time

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I checked, you and I are human beings.

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In this world that's surrounded by AI,

artificial intelligence, technology

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in which we have information at our

fingertips, and the ability to interact

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through social media, let alone the whole

world wide web that we call the Internet,

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we forget about the fact that the spoken

word, the actions that we use with our

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own two hands and our own two feet, for

that matter, can make such a wonderful,

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long lasting impact on others, so get

out your needle, get out your calculator,

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and get out your stove with all those

pots and pans, because maybe you can show

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somebody else not only how to cook, not

only how to balance a budget, not only

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manage their credit card debt, not only so

many other things, but maybe you will be

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looked upon not only a mentor, not only a

leader, but somebody that has lived life

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to the fullest, because the basic skills

are just as fulfilling as the complex.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 85 of Speaking From the

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.

About the Podcast

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About your host

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Joshua Smith

Joshua D. Smith is the Owner and Founder of Your Speaking Voice, a life coaching, business coaching, and public speaking company based in Carlisle, PA. Serving clients across the world, Joshua got his start in personal/professional development and public speaking in April of 2012 through his extensive involvement in an educational non-profit organization called Toastmasters International.

Toastmasters International operates clubs both domestically and internationally that focus on teaching leadership, development, and public speaking skills. Joshua quickly excelled in Toastmasters International and found that he had a passion for leadership and helping others find their confidence and their true "speaking voice". Joshua has held all club officer roles and most District level positions in Toastmasters International and belongs to numerous clubs throughout the organization. Joshua has also been recognized as two-time Distinguished Toastmaster, the highest award the organization bestows for achievement in leadership and communication.

Outside of his community involvement, education is something that Joshua has always taken great pride in. His academic achievements include a number of degrees from Alvernia and Shippensburg University. He earned a Bachelor's degree in political science and communications from Alvernia in 2009, a masters of business administration from Alvernia in 2010, and later a masters in public administration from Shippensburg in 2014.

In the professional world, Joshua has held multiple positions with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania for over 14 years which includes a variety of data analytics, procurement, budgeting, business process improvement (IT and non-IT), legal compliance, and working with the blind. He has applied his public speaking and development skills in the professional world to tackle numerous public speaking engagements and presentations from all levels of the organization, including executive management.

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