Episode 91

Episode #88 - You May Have Everything To Lose, But You Have Everything To Gain: An Interview With Martha Burich

What if you approached life, at all of its various stages of aging, with intentional curiosity? What if you never stopped learning, and as a result, you have so much to gain? Today's guest, Martha Burich, has this intentional mindset that she describes for us in a way that examines the unlimited possibilities (and potential) that we all have. Ultimately, it allows us to ask two questions: What will help you to enjoy life, and, what can we do to help others in their biggest time of need? No matter what kind of background you have, and what kind of education you have received, having the right mindset by exploring what you have to gain can drive you to unlimited, unbridled potential within ourselves and with each other. Failure is only one step in the overall process of becoming a much better person as a whole.

Guest Bio

Martha is the Founder of Martha Burich Consulting where she is a speaker, author, and mindset coach. She helps people overcome the thinking and behaviors that are keeping them from the relationships, success and peace of mind they want. She is a contributing author to Chicken Soup for the Soul Cookbook; contributor to the book: Practical Happiness by Pamela Gail Johnson. Martha is a retired college Professor of Psychology and also a retired high school Science and Math teacher. She has been leading Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings in the local jail for the women for over a year.

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008384346047

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@icreate7791/featured?sub_confirmation=1

Website: https://marthaburich.com

For a full listing of other links, visit Martha's Linktree at the following link: https://linktr.ee/marthaburich.

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Transcript
Intro:

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 88 of Speaking from the Heart.

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Today we have Martha Burich joining

us, and Martha is the founder of Martha

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Burich Consulting, where she is a

speaker, author, and mindset coach.

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She helps people overcome the thinking

and behaviors that are keeping them

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from their relationships, success,

and peace of mind that they want.

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She's been a contributing author to

the Chicken Soup For The Soul cookbook,

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contributor to the book Practical

Happiness by Pamela Gayle Johnson, and

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Martha is a retired college professor

of psychology and also a retired

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high school science and math teacher.

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All these things have enabled her to

lead Alcoholics Anonymous meetings at

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the local jail where she volunteers

at for women for over a year.

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I have to say that Martha's story

in itself was something that was

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really interesting to me from why

she jumped from one place to another,

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but at the same time, it really

helped me to understand why some

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people are never settling for less.

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I think that we have this opportunity

to get so little but give so much in

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our lives, and it can be as simple as

drawing a fish, which we talk about

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in this episode, to what are some of

the biggest things that we can help

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others in their greatest time of need.

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I know for myself that as a coach and

somebody that has gone through the gambit

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of a variety of different situations,

sometimes just having that person to lean

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on, no matter what kind of jack of trade

that they have, can create some of those

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best opportunities in our lives, not only

to just see what's on the other side,

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not just see what we can be able to do,

but to see that there is hope that on the

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other side, we have that opportunity to

develop ourselves in some amazing ways.

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But with that, let's go to the episode.

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All right, we're here with Martha Burich.

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Martha, thanks for sharing

your heart with us today.

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Martha: Oh, I'm happy to.

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I have a very big heart and got a lot

of heart centered things to talk about.

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Joshua: I am so excited about that

because I have enjoyed with the numerous

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guests I've had on the show so far just

talking about what is on people's hearts.

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That's really what this is all about, so

thank you so much for being part of this.

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I really wanted to start out with

a simple question because Martha, I

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already let the audience know your

background a little bit about what you do.

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I'm just curious, what got you

into doing a coaching business?

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Martha: Yeah, that's a good question.

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You know, I taught psychology for 10

years, and I taught high school for

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a long time, and then I retired, and

when I retired, I kind of fell down.

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I got bored and I didn't feel useful,

so I had to go through a lot of stuff

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and got a mentor and changed my life,

and then I thought, "you know what?

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I think maybe I have got a lot to share

with people and to be able to help them

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the way that I was helped over my, well,

really, I think I became depressed.

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I became like, hopeless, you know?

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I'm 69 years old and I

love getting up every day.

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I love every day, but there was

a period of time there after I

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retired where I was like, "Well,

what am I doing?", so I lost my way.

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Joshua: I love the fact though that

you kind of found something that

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doesn't make you feel depressed.

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It doesn't make you feel that way

because I feel that, and it's funny

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because my mom, she just turned 70

the last few months and I know that

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for her and my dynamic with her, like

she kind of says the same things like,

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"Oh, I don't know what to do.", and I'm

like, "Well, there's things you can do.

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There's so many opportunities, and

you have so many different skills

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that you've learned", and I'm like

at 36, I'm still thinking about all

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those things that I'm doing it to kind

of make that inspiration happen in

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other people's lives, so I like that.

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Well here, I'll lead it into this

question that I have for you, so,

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I noticed that before you went into

coaching, and even before you were a

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college professor, I'm assuming you

were also a science and math teacher.

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What inspired you to be in science and

math, to be able to teach other kids?

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Martha: Oh, you gotta hear this story.

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Okay, so I had a degree, and

I did become, I was a college

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professor first for ten years.

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Joshua: Oh, okay.

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Martha: Then I became a

science and math teacher.

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Well anyway, so I answered an ad to be

a teacher and it said if you already

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have a degree, they were in distressed

areas where they couldn't get teachers.

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They said if you already have a degree

of some kind, then you can teach for

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five years while you get your teaching

degree, but you have to get your teaching

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degree in that time, and you would not

believe how many people did not get

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their teaching degree in that time,

but I did, but anyway, so I became a

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teacher and it was for special education.

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My first day at school- now, I don't know

if this happens anymore, but for special

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education It was a little bit laxer

than others, and since we didn't have

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teaching degrees anyway, so at my first

teacher's meeting and they said, "Okay.

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Who wants what subject?", and

I said, "Well, I like science."

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They said, "Okay, Burich,

you're the science teacher.

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Now, I did go and get my degree

in biology, so I'm legitimate.

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I became a legitimate science teacher.

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Joshua: Did you enjoy going

through biology, even though you

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volunteered to be a science teacher?

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Martha: Oh, that's the thing.

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When I was in college, oh my goodness,

Josh, I think it was my second semester,

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we had to find the amoeba in this, I don't

know, glass of water or something, okay,

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and we had to find this amoeba in lab.

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I couldn't find the amoeba.

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I was crying my eyes out.

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I was like 19.

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I was crying.

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"I'm stupid.

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I can't", you know, so I grew up a little

bit and realized, "Well, you know what?

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Yesterday's not tomorrow.

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Yesterday's not even today."

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I like science.

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I'm good at science.

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The same thing with math.

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I didn't think I was good with math.

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I'm really good with math.

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I like math.

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Joshua: You don't hear that nowadays

anymore because I feel that people

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tend to go into some sort of the

liberal arts curriculum, which I did.

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I went to school, got my political

science, communications degree, went on

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to get business administration, which

does work with a little bit of math,

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obviously; did a little bit of accounting,

but even then, I feel that it's really

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important to have that well roundedness,

especially with having some of the home

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ec skills, like being able to balance

a checkbook, be able to manage your

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finances, be able to invest, like those

are skills that I feel that we need to

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continuously do, and I think we definitely

need more teachers, especially like you

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that are, are providing that, so I love

that you did for that long period of time.

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Martha: Yeah.

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Joshua: So, since you were doing college

professorship first, where did you

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teach at and what was that experience

like to teach with college students?

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Martha: Well, once you had a master's

degree, you could be an adjunct college

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professor, so they wouldn't hire

you to be the PhD person full-time,

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but they needed part-time teachers,

so I had a master's degree, and

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what they would do at the time was.

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because it was cost effective, they

would hire somebody, a part timer, to

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work full time, but they'd get part

time pay, so anyway, this was at St.

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Louis Community College, in St.

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Louis, Missouri.

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I also taught, I think I taught a

class at University of Missouri, St.

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Louis.

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I taught a class at Maryville

University; a couple of classes

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at Maryville University.

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That place was great.

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I had the greatest students.

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I taught a few classes there.

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Anyway, all my classes were so much

fun, and they had me teaching child

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psychology, and psychology, and sociology.

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Oh my goodness, I just

had such a good time.

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I had police officers in my classes,

because I taught most of my classes

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at night, and most of my students

were older and I was older at the

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time, and it was just- I shouldn't

say older, I was in my 40s.

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Is that older?

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Please.

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Joshua: Well, I'm almost 40, so

I guess, I guess that, but we're

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going to say that's younger.

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Martha: Yeah, don't, don't

give me that stuff, young man.

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You understand?

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Joshua: Yes, ma'am.

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Martha: I don't want to hear that

old stuff, because you know what?

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I'm 69 and I'm young.

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I feel great, and I see

people; I see these videos.

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There's a woman who does

gymnastics in her nineties.

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There's men on an island somewhere

in their eighties shimmying up the

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coconut tree, getting the coconuts.

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It is not our destiny: walker, wheelchair,

nursing home, that is not our destiny.

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Our destiny is perfect

health until we die.

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Joshua: I like that philosophy

because even my mom's like, "You're

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never going to put me in a home.

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I don't want to go in a home",

and I'm like, "Okay, okay.

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We want you to live a full life."

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Martha: Exactly, and you know, they say

if you hit 50 with no heart problems, no

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heart disease, you can expect to live, a

woman at least, to live to at least 92.

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Joshua: Wow, I don't

think I even knew that.

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Martha: Yeah, we've got a lot

of life left in us, so to retire

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and decide that, "Okay, I think

I'll watch TV now."; uh, no.

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I took piano lessons at 62.

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I started singing, and

that's another story too.

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Alright, I'm going to tell

you my piano story, then I'll

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tell you my singing story.

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Joshua: OK.

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Martha: Alright, piano.

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This is before I retired.

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I drive by the music store

in the town where I lived,

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and I'm like, "You know what?

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I want to take piano.", so I go in,

and the piano teacher is an elementary

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school music teacher, so every week

I come and I practice my piano.

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Now this was August.

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I started in August.

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Late November, "Martha, I want you

to play in the Christmas recital."

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Josh, that's for children.

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So I said, okay, why not?

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So, the day of the recital comes, I play

after the five year old and before the ten

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year old, and the kid was homeschooled.

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He was a phenom.

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The kid was fabulous.

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Wrote his own music.

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He was something.

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Well, and I played From

This Moment by Shania Twain.

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Oh, I'm so proud of myself.

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I did it perfectly.

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Okay, so afterwards, now who's there?

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Parents and grandparents.

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Afterwards, all these parents

and grandparents are coming up to

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me, especially the grandparents.

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"Oh my goodness, you've inspired me.

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I thought I was too old

to learn something new.

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I was going to take piano.

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I was going to take guitar.

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I was going to learn flower

arrangement, and I thought I was

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too old, but you've changed my mind.

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I'm going to do it now."

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Joshua: I think that it's important

to have people that no matter

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what age just to be able to stand

side by side, be a mentor for

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them, and it doesn't necessarily

mean having a direct relationship

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like you and I do with coaching.

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It doesn't mean working one

on one with groups of people.

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Sometimes it means just being a positive

influence for the larger community as

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a whole so that they feel inspired to

do that, and I would not have the guts

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to learn singing because I'm a very low

baritone voice and very deep, and that's

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just after the fifth grade, I was a

nice little soprano when I turned into a

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very deep alto, but I totally hear what

you're saying though, because I think

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it's always good to learn a new skill,

and it doesn't matter what age you're at.

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Martha: It's the whole

process of enjoying life.

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What will help me to enjoy life?

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Well, learning piano would help me enjoy

life and develop my self confidence.

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Now, the singing thing, I always thought

I had a lousy voice, but there was this

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restaurant, it was about 30 minutes from

my home, and every Sunday night, a bunch

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of guys would get together and just

jam, you know, a bunch of old guys, and

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so, I would go there and I said, "Hey!

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Can I sing?

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You guys let me sing?", and they said,

"Yeah, what do you want to sing?", so

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the next week I bring up Loretta Lynn,

You Ain't Woman Enough To Steal My Man.

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Just a fun song, so I would just sing

and have fun, and then I even did Jolene.

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I mean, that's a hard

song, Jolene, Dolly Parton.

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That's a very hard song to sing, but I

would tell a story about Dolly Parton

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and how she got in a fight with Jolene

and Jolene pulled the wig off Dolly's

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head, and it was just a good time, so I

did that for a few months, just to make

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life more interesting, because you should

always have something to look forward to.

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Joshua: I think we all do need

something to look forward to, even if

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it's just the small things, especially

with the hobbies that we enjoy.

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I mean, I thought in the beginning when I

started this podcast, "Man, I think it's

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just going to be a short term thing and

I might only last three months", but it's

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turned into something much more than that.

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I actually enjoy doing it as a little

bit of a hobby myself, although it is

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through my business, so I think that

we find things that we kind of stumble

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into and we actually really enjoy that.

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Speaking of things you enjoy, I

want to talk about your business.

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Perfect segue.

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Your business is called Martha Burich

Consulting and Coaching, so can you give

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us, in our audience, a wide view of some

of the things that you offer to people

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through this business that you have?

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Martha: Well, my program is called "Yes,

You Can, I Did.", because I got kicked

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out of two colleges, but guess what?

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I came back, I got degrees, and I

became a college professor, so failure

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is absolutely no big deal, and a lot

of people seem to think if they're

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not perfect, they're not thin, they're

not this, they're not that, they

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can't live a full, beautiful life.

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Well, that's really what

my coaching is all about.

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Let's get you over the social anxiety.

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Let's get you over this you're not

perfect, so you can't have a great life.

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BS.

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It's all our thoughts.

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It's all thinking.

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It's all thinking, and...

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Joshua: Is there something that you see

common with clients that you work with

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that they struggle with in terms of that

thought process, because I've worked

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with even people since I've been open

for over a year now, where they kind

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of have that thought paralysis where

they're stuck in that one thought about

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themselves, but they're not willing

to entertain other thoughts from the

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outside, changing that perspective.

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Have you encountered that a lot?

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What are some of the things

that you typically do to

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work with clients with that?

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Martha: You know, the thinking

of stuff like no matter what

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I do, it's not good enough.

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Whatever decision I make,

it's not the right one.

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When's the other shoe going to drop?

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Oh, I'd really like to do that, but...

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What?

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No, I'm not smart enough.

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I'm not whatever enough for that.

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Yes.

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Each person is different, so I work

on individual things with each person.

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I don't have a set program because each

person is different, and we work on what

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they think is most important to them to

get over, whether it's social anxiety.

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Let's say they want a different job, okay?

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Well, let's see what we got

to do to get you a new job.

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Where do you want to work?

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Who do you want to work for?

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Start thinking those kind of things.

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Do you want to start your own business,

so we go into that way, or, they don't

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go to parties and things because they

don't know what they're going to do

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because they're all by themselves.

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Let me give you this tip, Josh.

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If you go to a party

alone, here's what you do.

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You make yourself the welcoming

committee, so when someone comes in

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the door, You say, "Hey, how you doing?

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I'm so and so.", and if you see anybody

alone, you make yourself the official

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helper of anybody who doesn't have

somebody to talk to; that's your job.

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You're going to scout, you're

going to be the helper to

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make sure nobody feels alone.

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Joshua: I would have loved to hear that

advice at my first middle school dance

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where I was attached to the wall and

being a wallflower as we have all heard

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that expression, and I wish I would

have just been rambunctious or more

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socially attuned enough to be able to

do that, but my audience knows this.

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I didn't even share this with you, Martha,

but being autistic that I have been

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finding out later in life, I realized

I understand why I didn't do that.

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It wasn't the welcoming committee,

but now I'm like, "Let's do it.

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I wanted to try this", so I

actually literally wrote that down.

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Next time I'm at a networking

event, I'm going to try it out.

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I'll report back to you, okay?

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Martha: Great.

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Oh, I'd love to hear it, and

believe me, whenever you get out

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of yourself, things work out as

soon as you get out of yourself.

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It's just like speaking.

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When you're not thinking about how am I

going to come across and you're thinking

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about what value can I give this audience?

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How can I help these people in

this audience the most, then stuff

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just comes out of your mouth.

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The right stuff.

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Joshua: Yeah, and I feel that for

me, for like the longest time, I

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was definitely struggling with that.

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I know people that I work with having that

sort of social anxiety about themselves

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and just trying to get over that feeling

because it's always something that lies

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dormant, and I think it's a little bit of

anxiety and I've had anxiety coaches on

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the show that have talked about how they

work through that process, so when you

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actually are working with someone, and you

said this earlier that you kind of tailor

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this to certain individuals, certain

aspects of what they might be going

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through, is there a system that you use?

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Do you ask them what their goals are?

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Martha: Oh, definitely.

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Joshua: Can you like, walk us

through what you do with them?

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Yeah.

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Martha: Yeah, I ask them

what their goals are.

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Why they haven't met them?

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Why haven't you met these goals?

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How long have you had this goal?

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Is it something you really want?

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad do you want

this goal, because if they say a 3, what

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are we talking about, and 10 is really

bad and one, I barely want it at all, then

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why are we talking about this goal, or do

you need to light a fire under your butt?

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Is this goal really important to you,

but you think you can't have it, and

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that's why you said it's a three.

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Joshua: I think that we often have to push

them to be like, "Why you want as a three?

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It should be a 10 out of 10 you want to

achieve this!", and we have to get them

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to that framework because, you're right,

sometimes it does take a matter of kicking

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them in the butt, but it's also giving

them actionable steps to be able to kick

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them in the butt to do the same thing, so-

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Martha: Right.

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Joshua: So, Martha, I do want to

talk about some of the books that

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you've written, and actually, I found

this really interesting that, and I

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remember reading these growing up.

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You were one of the contributing

authors for the Chicken

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Soup for the Soul Cookbook.

341

:

I would love to hear what you

wrote about that and how can people

342

:

actually access that, by the way?

343

:

Is that still available

that people can purchase?

344

:

Martha: It is!

345

:

It's available on Amazon.

346

:

You'll probably get a used copy.

347

:

I'm not sure if there's any

new ones are left, but, yeah,

348

:

it is available on Amazon.

349

:

In the story I wrote, I was a

substitute teacher at the time, and

350

:

my story's called, "A Fish, A Fish,

Lord, I Need A Fish", and I was

351

:

substituting kindergarten art, so I

taught the children how to draw a fish.

352

:

You wouldn't believe how easy it

is, and anyway, so one little five

353

:

year old, he just started crying.

354

:

" I can't draw a fish.", and my thought in

my mind was, "You know, here he is five

355

:

years old and already 'can't'; it's so

strong in his mind", and so, the thing

356

:

is, Josh, when people are in distress

like that, well, when anyone is in a, "I

357

:

can't mode", you don't want to reinforce,

so I didn't want to fawn all over him.

358

:

"Oh, now, honey, it's okay.", you know.

359

:

I said, "Well, sweetheart, I understand

how you feel, and I suspect that maybe

360

:

if you look around and see what your

friends are doing, maybe you can see a

361

:

way that you can make the fish.", and then

I left, and then I said, "So you try to

362

:

do your fish here and I'll talk to you

later", and then I left and got busy.

363

:

I don't know, 10, 15 minutes

later, the kids yelling, "I

364

:

drew a fish, I drew a fish.

365

:

Look at my fish.", and I was

like, "Whoa.", and I went over and

366

:

yes, he drew a fish in a garden.

367

:

He drew a fish in a garden.

368

:

Oh, it was so cute.

369

:

and, you know, I didn't

say, "You could draw fish."

370

:

I said, "Well, look at you.

371

:

Look at you.

372

:

You did it.

373

:

You did it.", so you never

want to get into reinforcing I

374

:

can't and I'm not good enough.

375

:

You always want to encourage to the

best way you can, and it worked.

376

:

Joshua: Drawing back to the

fact that you were kind of...

377

:

Is it correct to say you're

kicked out of college?

378

:

Were you kicked out of college?

379

:

Martha: Yeah, yeah.

380

:

They threw me out, baby.

381

:

Joshua: So, yeah.

382

:

I mean, did that for a period of time

really hold you back too, because

383

:

it sounds like to me just sharing

that example, I kind of just drew

384

:

a couple parallels here of, "Wow.

385

:

I think I know why you're

saying this to this child of,

386

:

"Yeah, you can draw that fish.

387

:

You can do what you can do.

388

:

You are good enough to do that."

389

:

I mean, was there some of that self

talk happening when you were going

390

:

through those experiences back

then, like what kind of pushed you

391

:

then to keep on moving forward?

392

:

Martha: My whole thing,

Josh, was social anxiety.

393

:

I was so afraid of what other people

thought of me, and I was never good

394

:

enough, so yes, and my mother was

an indomitable figure; that means

395

:

that she didn't quit, and she kind

of taught me not to quit, so I was

396

:

sitting around the house one day crying.

397

:

I had a 1.0 GPA.

398

:

That's a D.

399

:

That's a D, okay, and in high

school, I had good grades in high

400

:

school, and then I go to college,

and I was totally out of my element.

401

:

I didn't know what was going on.

402

:

Everything was so hard.

403

:

Well anyway, so I had a 1.

404

:

0 GPA, and I was crying to my mother,

and my mother said, "You go march

405

:

right back to that college, and you ask

them to let you back in.", so I did.

406

:

I drove right down to the college,

and I said, "Let me back in."

407

:

Talk to the dean, and he gave me a lot

of BS, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

408

:

blah, blah, blah, blah, okay, okay,

okay, it was, "We're going to put you

409

:

on probation for the next semester.

410

:

You've got to get all C's and

above, and if you don't..."

411

:

"Okay, okay", well, I had wised up and

smartened up at that time, and I took

412

:

like three classes, didn't overload

myself, and made sure I made A's and B's.

413

:

Joshua: I was going to say that it

is something that we sometimes think,

414

:

"Man, I just don't know if I got it.

415

:

I don't know if I can get another

opportunity", but sometimes we don't even

416

:

ask for the opportunity, so I like that

you just went back in and said, "Look.

417

:

Give me the shot.

418

:

I know what I did wrong.

419

:

Give me the shot.", and I think we often

as a society, when we do something wrong,

420

:

we already have that preconceived judgment

of somebody saying, "We're never going

421

:

to give them a shot", and I know, and I

have been a personal victim of that, and

422

:

for all my listeners out there that might

be listening to this and saying, "Hey!

423

:

You're not going to be good enough, Josh.

424

:

You can't come back to this."

425

:

I say to you, listen to what Martha just

shared as an example and give me a chance,

426

:

give everybody a chance, because they

might've realized what they had going on

427

:

in their life that they've changed, so.

428

:

I love that story.

429

:

I love the fact that you did come

back and you finished what you did

430

:

because obviously, as we talked about,

it's been a rewarding career for you.

431

:

Martha: Thanks.

432

:

I know a fellow who was in

jail for 10 years unjustly.

433

:

I never met him personally.

434

:

Anyway, he got out of jail,

became an electrician, got all

435

:

the certifications and stuff.

436

:

Now he has his own business as

an electrician and he's doing

437

:

very well, and I go to the jail.

438

:

Every Monday, I take an AA meeting

into the jail and I talk to those

439

:

women there and I say, "When you get

out of here, yes, it might be harder

440

:

for you to get a job, but I'm going

to tell you what you have to do.

441

:

You look around for the

job you really want.

442

:

You take something you have to take in

the meantime, but you look for the job

443

:

you really want, and you write a letter

to that manager or owner, and you say,

444

:

"I'll be the best employee you ever had.

445

:

Give me a chance.", and I say, "You got

nothing to lose and everything to gain."

446

:

Joshua: You have everything to gain.

447

:

I think that we have all these things

that we can do in our lives, and

448

:

it's just a matter of being able to

say, "Yes, you can", and I love that

449

:

for people that are going through

it and have already addressed what

450

:

crimes they have done in the past.

451

:

They are able to do a

lot of good things, so-

452

:

Martha: That's right.

453

:

Joshua: I want to wrap up, Martha,

with this book that has recently

454

:

come out that you've written.

455

:

It's called Good Parents Sense.

456

:

Martha: Oh yes, that

one's due to be published.

457

:

It's in second edit, so it should

be out in about a month or so-

458

:

Joshua: Yeah.

459

:

Martha: And it is a book I wrote when

my son was about ten, and I had taken

460

:

parenting lessons with him when he was

four and five, and I was very interested

461

:

in that, and it also came out because

I was teaching child psychology at the

462

:

time, too, so I wrote the book, and

yeah, it's a very short little book,

463

:

about 60 pages, that you can look at

if you're at the grocery store and

464

:

the kid misbehaves, what do you do?

465

:

How do you get them to go to bed at night?

466

:

Just little things to build their self

esteem and things you can do to get

467

:

them to behave properly without you

tearing your hair out all the time.

468

:

Joshua: Yes, and I don't have any

children, but I know many of my listeners

469

:

have children and they will certainly

appreciate any sort of advice, any sort

470

:

of tips whatsoever when it comes to

that for sure, so thanks for writing

471

:

that, and I can't wait for it to be

released for sure for everybody to be

472

:

able to have a copy of it for sure.

473

:

Martha: Thanks.

474

:

Joshua: So one last question,

Martha, before I give you an

475

:

opportunity to just let everybody

know how they can reach out to you.

476

:

I've been reflecting on our

conversation as we're going along here.

477

:

You're 69 years old and you have

lived a very fulfilling life and it

478

:

isn't very often that I get to talk to

guests that have had a rich life like

479

:

yours of being able to help all kinds

of different age populations, being

480

:

able to educate and being able to help

others in a variety of different ways.

481

:

Out of all the things that you have

done in your life, all the different

482

:

things that you have experienced, and

I know this is going to be a pretty

483

:

tough question, but I think it's really

rewarding for those that are kind

484

:

of stuck in the mindset of, "Oh, I'm

always stuck in what I have to do and

485

:

what I was set out to be and destined

to be, that's always what I'm going to

486

:

be.", and that isn't necessarily true.

487

:

You've really shared with us today how

you can pivot and be able to create

488

:

those best versions of ourselves.

489

:

What would you say was the most

rewarding experience in your entire

490

:

life so far, and why was that

the most rewarding experience?

491

:

Martha: Raising my son.

492

:

Being a parent.

493

:

It was a lot of fun.

494

:

He's 40.

495

:

He's 40 now.

496

:

It was a lot of fun.

497

:

Joshua: We could almost be like brothers.

498

:

Martha: Yeah, exactly, so being a parent

is a very, very important job and family

499

:

is very important, so, if you're a parent,

you're the backbone of civilization.

500

:

There's no such thing as

just a mother, just a father.

501

:

You are the person that shows

your children what is possible.

502

:

Joshua: So true, and we need those

sort of role models in this world.

503

:

I've even listed with other episodes

about the fatherless epidemic, having

504

:

just the parents in general having a

role model when it counts the most.

505

:

I think it's so important

because we definitely need those

506

:

spheres of influence for sure.

507

:

Martha, thanks so much for

this awesome conversation.

508

:

I want to give you the last few

minutes to just pitch yourself.

509

:

Please tell us how people

can reach out you if they're

510

:

interested in being coached.

511

:

Maybe you want to reference even

your books where they're available.

512

:

I know you mentioned Amazon; don't

know if there were other places,

513

:

but, why don't you take the last few

moments here and let our audience

514

:

know how they can reach out to you.

515

:

Martha: Thanks, Josh.

516

:

Well, I do have a website: MarthaBurich.

517

:

com, and there's a link

there if you'd like to book a

518

:

session with me; a free talk.

519

:

We could talk about what it

is that you're interested in,

520

:

and if I can help you or not.

521

:

I'm on LinkedIn: Martha Burich.

522

:

I'm on Facebook.

523

:

You can always direct message me

and check my posts and things.

524

:

I'm pretty accessible.

525

:

The books aren't published yet,

so they'll be coming out, but

526

:

hopefully a couple of months.

527

:

Joshua: Awesome.

528

:

I'll put all that in the episode

notes for my listeners in case you

529

:

want to check that out and check out

Martha and reach out to her, but I

530

:

want to wrap up by saying, Martha,

it is really fascinating to just

531

:

talk to people that are in a retired

state, although they're not retired.

532

:

They're just keep on learning and learning

and going and going, because I have known

533

:

many people in my career that I still

have with working with state government

534

:

as I continue to build out the business

of having that rich, fulfilled life, and

535

:

doing what they really desire to do, even

at a wiser age, as I like to call it.

536

:

Not an older age, but a riser age because

we learned so much getting up to that

537

:

point, and I think that what you share

today is just a prime example of what

538

:

we can all do and what we can all create

is value in our lives, so for all those

539

:

reasons, and for the reasons in which

you have been part of this show and just

540

:

sharing this awesome testament to why

it's important to keep on going, Martha.

541

:

Thanks for being on

Speaking From The Heart.

542

:

It was really a privilege

today to talk to you.

543

:

Martha: Thanks, Josh.

544

:

I really enjoyed it.

545

:

You're a great interviewer.

546

:

Joshua: Again, I want to thank Martha

so much for taking her time to discuss

547

:

a variety of different topics, not

only relating to her own life, but how

548

:

she's helped others to overcome and

even address some of those difficult

549

:

topics that we have in our lives.

550

:

"Difficult topics?

551

:

What do you mean by that, Josh?

552

:

I have a perfect life, and I have a lot

of different things that make it perfect.

553

:

I have a wonderful person in

my life that's supporting me.

554

:

I got great kids.

555

:

I have an awesome job.

556

:

I have all these things working for me.

557

:

What do you mean that there is this

big struggle in life of hopelessness,

558

:

neglect, depression, and just

learning and learning and learning?

559

:

I don't have that problem."

560

:

Well, you might not be like a normal,

typical person then, if you are saying

561

:

all those things about yourself, but

I think that's what makes this episode

562

:

special in so many different ways.

563

:

Martha shared with us today a variety

of different skills that she had learned

564

:

to adapt to, not only from the things

that she has been exposed to in her

565

:

life, but just because of some of the

most common, interesting things that she

566

:

wanted to appeal herself to, it allowed

her to create not just those things that

567

:

she wanted to do, not just those things

that she could help society in doing,

568

:

but she made herself her own welcoming

committee, which I loved when we talked

569

:

about that part of the interview that

we're not just necessarily talking about

570

:

when you go to a networking event, or

you're going to that social engagement, in

571

:

which you're talking to someone that you

might not have talked to in a long time.

572

:

We are literally talking about things that

allow us to enjoy not only the things that

573

:

we have in our lives, but the people that

we get to enjoy on a day to day basis.

574

:

You have to be able to help yourself

enjoy life, so that really creates the

575

:

question, what will you help yourself do

in order to enjoy that best value life?

576

:

There could be a lot of

different things you can do.

577

:

You could pick up a hobby.

578

:

You could pick up a new skill.

579

:

You could pick up a new subject.

580

:

Martha did that so many different

times that I lost count even during

581

:

this episode, but I think that's what

makes it beautiful in itself is that

582

:

we're able to have all these different

kinds of paths to work through,

583

:

and that we're able to create those

opportunities no matter where they come

584

:

from, but it's about feeling comfortable

and doing that at the same time.

585

:

Social anxiety is the number

one thing that has paralyzed us.

586

:

Glossophobia, which I've talked about

in some of my public speaking episodes,

587

:

can really hold us back from really

portraying that thought, skill, or ability

588

:

to eloquently speak about in front of an

audience that allows us to develop who

589

:

we are, but I think that is part of why

we should continuously press the button

590

:

in not only helping ourselves grow, not

only helping ourselves become better, but

591

:

allowing us to understand that we might

have pitfalls that we have to navigate

592

:

through, and even though those navigation

errors do occur, we have to have good

593

:

sense to not only help each other pick

up those boots that might have fallen on

594

:

the ground from our child that need to

be put in the correct place, but we also

595

:

need to be able to understand that when

we learn to make mistakes, we can learn

596

:

from those mistakes and get better, and

we can grow from them, so it really also

597

:

begs this second question: do you help

others in their biggest time of need?

598

:

Do you have a good parent sense, and I'm

not just talking about a good sense of

599

:

the tips in which you can help yourselves

to become a better parent, a better

600

:

educator, a better role model for others.

601

:

It doesn't mean just

necessarily those things.

602

:

It can just be the simple fact that you

are intentionally trying, that you're

603

:

intentionally creating those best

opportunities for others that makes

604

:

the biggest impact, and I always talk

about in my episodes the concept of an

605

:

opportunity when it presents itself.

606

:

Opportunities don't necessarily

always come to those that wait.

607

:

You have to seek them out, and I know

plenty of people that have redeveloped,

608

:

and retrained themselves, into completely

different new paths as a result of

609

:

some setbacks, and other things that

might have happened in their life.

610

:

It doesn't make anybody a failure,

and that's the biggest thing that

611

:

I have to stress coming out of this

episode is that no one is a failure.

612

:

It's when you actually do fail though,

it's the opportunity that intersects

613

:

of you not wanting to try, and you also

failing to realize that other people

614

:

might want to help you in being a better

person overall, so raising yourself

615

:

to create those lessons for others, to

help others see what their true worth

616

:

is, means that you have to put a little

bit of effort in yourself, and I think

617

:

if anybody would have demonstrated that

in any of my episodes, it's Martha.

618

:

That's why, Martha, when you're listening

to this, I want you to know something.

619

:

You have definitely changed my

perspective on the fact that,

620

:

sometimes, we don't want to ever retire.

621

:

We don't ever want to give up,

because that means that we're

622

:

throwing in the towel of all the other

possibilities that exist in life.

623

:

I want to be more like Martha, and I think

all of you should be a little bit more

624

:

like Martha, with the things that she has

been able to become, and the things that

625

:

she will continue to become even after she

listens to this episode, and you listen

626

:

to this episode as well, because we can

learn to make new skills out of anything.

627

:

I think that we can even help others

that are going through those same

628

:

patterns, and I had Cheryl Baker on the

show not all that long ago that talked

629

:

about that concept when she's helping

new music teachers learn how to sing.

630

:

Ah, singing.

631

:

Something that Martha was also trying

too, so, I think that really helps

632

:

us to understand this bigger question

that we have to answer: what will

633

:

you do to help yourself enjoy life?

634

:

What will you do to help others

in their biggest time of need?

635

:

Are you going to work with them or

are you going to keep on walking by,

636

:

pretending that they don't even exist?

637

:

There've been many times in my life

when, which I always thought that

638

:

maybe people were just too busy for me.

639

:

Even when I asked for that help, I

knew that maybe, deep down inside, I

640

:

would be able to still form that human

connection, to form that ability to

641

:

create not only those relationships

that I desperately wanted, not just

642

:

those best opportunities, which I've

always continuously talked about on

643

:

this show, but also maybe building those

blocks so that I can actually have that

644

:

heartfelt connection with someone else.

645

:

Sometimes that can be very hard.

646

:

Sometimes that is very challenging for

even people that are on a spectrum to

647

:

even socially interact with others,

which is why even having the vast

648

:

amount of technology available to

us to now call and talk to others,

649

:

isn't always the best medicine to

take, so I think it really comes back

650

:

to what you want to do in your life.

651

:

Maybe you like to draw a fish, and maybe

that fish can be a ocean of possibilities

652

:

where you have the octopus, the

squid, maybe even other sea creatures.

653

:

I don't know what might have struck

me about this sort of topic today,

654

:

but I almost feel as if when I'm

talking about this, I also want to get

655

:

overwhelmed by the numerous amount of

possibilities that exist as a result of

656

:

having all these different opportunities

that are existing in this episode,

657

:

so let me break it down for you if

you are feeling a little overwhelmed.

658

:

This episode isn't just about the fact

that we have all these different options

659

:

available to us, that we're not just stuck

in one thing, that we can do anything that

660

:

we want, but the ocean that we can swim

in is also a playground of possibility.

661

:

It's a cornucopia of different

options to choose from.

662

:

Now, if that colorful imagery of all

kinds of different objects, places, and

663

:

opportunities appeal to you, maybe then

it's time to work with somebody to help

664

:

you to understand what is possible,

not only to not just see what those

665

:

developmental opportunities are, but

maybe just have a sense of curiosity,

666

:

which we've talked about on this show.

667

:

It might help you not only in your

biggest time of need to lean on, to

668

:

be part of, to be appreciative in, but

maybe just creating that little bit of

669

:

a comfort for somebody else, whether

it is just for you, or for another

670

:

individual, might help you with your

lessons learned because we all have

671

:

something that we can learn in this world.

672

:

No matter how young, or how old you are.

673

:

No matter how wise or how unwise you

are, and no matter how much you might

674

:

struggle to get to that other side, you

are always learning, and that is what is

675

:

so important to keep that perspective;

to keep that momentum going, because as

676

:

long as you can ask those two questions:

What will help to enjoy what's in

677

:

your life, and what you can do to help

others in their biggest time of need?

678

:

I think that maybe you are on the right

track of what Martha has done, and I

679

:

think that maybe you can help others

see what their true worth is, because

680

:

in this wild world of relationships,

confidence, and determination, when they

681

:

all converge, I think that it might turn

into something either completely messy,

682

:

or something completely magical, and I

think that it might be worth your time

683

:

to just try it out and see what happens.

684

:

Thanks for listening to episode

number 88 of Speaking From the

685

:

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

686

:

Outro: Thanks for listening.

687

:

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

688

:

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

689

:

Visit us at www.

690

:

yourspeakingvoice.

691

:

biz for more information about

potential services that can help you

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create the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.

About the Podcast

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Speaking From The Heart
Your Speaking Voice LLC's Business Podcast

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About your host

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Joshua Smith

Joshua D. Smith is the Owner and Founder of Your Speaking Voice, a life coaching, business coaching, and public speaking company based in Carlisle, PA. Serving clients across the world, Joshua got his start in personal/professional development and public speaking in April of 2012 through his extensive involvement in an educational non-profit organization called Toastmasters International.

Toastmasters International operates clubs both domestically and internationally that focus on teaching leadership, development, and public speaking skills. Joshua quickly excelled in Toastmasters International and found that he had a passion for leadership and helping others find their confidence and their true "speaking voice". Joshua has held all club officer roles and most District level positions in Toastmasters International and belongs to numerous clubs throughout the organization. Joshua has also been recognized as two-time Distinguished Toastmaster, the highest award the organization bestows for achievement in leadership and communication.

Joshua continues his active role in the community as he serves a Board Member for the Shalom House, an organization located in the Alison Hill section of Harrisburg, PA that provides emergency shelter services to women and children.

Outside of his community involvement, education is something that Joshua has always taken great pride in. His academic achievements include a number of degrees from Alvernia and Shippensburg University. He earned a Bachelor's degree in political science and communications from Alvernia in 2009, a masters of business administration from Alvernia in 2010, and later a masters in public administration from Shippensburg in 2014.

In the professional world, Joshua has held multiple positions with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania for over 12 years which includes a variety of data analytics, procurement, budgeting, business process improvement (IT and non-IT), legal compliance, and working with the blind. He has applied his public speaking and development skills in the professional world to tackle numerous public speaking engagements and presentations from all levels of the organization, including executive management.

Support The Show!

Every donation to the show will support the overall mission of Your Speaking Voice LLC, a company geared towards the transformation of individuals and companies by finding the hidden "voice" that is inside all of us.
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Melody da Silva $30
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