Episode 101
Episode #97 - Do I Need To Swear to Make My Point?
Coarse language is often viewed as a way of making a point come across with great intensity and forcefulness. The personal and professional realms both have different viewpoints as to how it can accentuate your messaging, but can it be overused? When is it appropriate, and when it is not? Although from a courtesy standpoint that this subject may be an easy answer, this episode may provide surprising answers to how foul language may be advantageous, but only up to a certain point.
(WARNING: This episode contains explicit language and should not be listened to with children around or in sensitive environments.)
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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs
Transcript
Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and
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:determination all converge into
an amazing, heartfelt experience.
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:This is Speaking From The Heart.
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:Joshua: Welcome back to episode
number 97 of Speaking from the Heart.
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:Now, I must put a big, big, big disclaimer
on this episode that after I give you
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:this disclaimer, there might be some
coarse language that's thrown around
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:quite a lot because this episode talks
about the use of swearing to make a point.
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:I will be using a lot of different coarse
words and coarse language that might
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:be offensive to some listeners, so if
you are easily offended by some of the
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:things that we will talk about today,
I encourage you to skip this episode,
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:but by all means, I think that it will
help you to understand that there's
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:a lot of different interpretation and
variety when it comes to this subject,
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:and maybe listening to some of what I
have to say might prove to be useful,
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:or should I say, goddamn useful.
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:What I found really interesting since
I started this podcast is that because
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:of the series of different types of
topics that I have to cover, that I've
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:had to put an explicit warning on my
podcast because of the different types
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:of subject matters that we cover, whether
that relates to drug use, addiction,
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:maybe even suicide, which many of those
subjects have been covered on these
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:shows, especially with some of my guests,
I think that it's really important to
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:protect the youth, and by all means, I'm
definitely encouraging those that have
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:young ears to not listen to such content,
but sometimes we have to use the word
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:fuck, or goddammit, or shit, to really
make our point come across, especially in
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:some context in some areas of our lives.
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:I think I find this episode also a little
bit humorous, because for some people
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:that are blue collar workers, we're all
used to that kind of language being used,
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:especially when nobody else is looking,
or even listening for that matter.
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:I can completely respect and understand
why you might find this episode to be not
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:only nonsensical, but also, why did it
even need to be done in the first place,
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:but I think that in today's society,
we think that using swear language is
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:okay, and I also want to say, at the
same turn, that when I used the words
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:that I've used earlier, I feel that
they had a purpose, or a connotation,
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:for even sharing them to begin with,
and that's why I think it's okay to use
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:it, but only to a certain extent; after
that, you definitely lose your variety
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:and your ability to engage with your
audience, let alone even personally and
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:professionally develop yourself, because
some people won't take you seriously.
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:I have to thank my dad for really teaching
me all the different types of cuss words
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:and all the different expressions that
you can use in those cuss words to be
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:able to share with a variety of different
people, because if it wasn't for him, I
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:wouldn't be even having this episode in
the first place, let alone even talking
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:about this subject because of some
friends bringing it up recently, and to
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:top it all off, seeing this recently on
a Buzzsprout podcast Facebook group in
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:which it was discussed about the usage
of swearing, it made me start to think
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:about the importance of how we use our
words effectively to communicate the
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:point that we're trying to make, so even
if you want to say, "God damn it, Josh.
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:You really are fucking with me.", I think
that you might be wanting to take a step
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:back and just only use the first part
of it instead of the whole part of it to
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:be able to make your point come across
that you're easily offended by some
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:of the language that I'm about to use.
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:Course language throughout history has
been utilized in a variety of different
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:ways; whether it is to make a point,
whether it is to emphasize great intensity
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:and forcefulness, whether it is to
accentuate the messaging that we're
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:trying to share as a whole, the real
question becomes: can it be overused?
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:Well, duh, it can be, and this is
the point where I could probably end
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:the episode and say, thank you for
sharing with me your expertise, Joshua,
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:and move on to the next episode that
you have on the playlist, but from a
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:courtesy standpoint, the answer might
not be as easy as you might think.
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:Knowing your audience, as I even have
mentioned many times to my clients in
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:public speaking, and even has been taught
across many different types of classes,
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:talk about the advantageous benefits
of being able to use foul language to
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:help to accentuate not only the points
that you're trying to make, but what
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:you can say up to a certain point.
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:You see, audiences are a funny sort
of animal in itself, and yes, they are
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:animals because we are all, by nature,
some type of descendant of an animal.
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:We are all descendants of the
monkeys, in which we have our direct
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:ancestral ties to them, which has
been proven by genetic research.
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:We have to understand that language
that is coarse in nature doesn't always
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:mean that it's easily offendable.
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:What I might view as offensive might
not be as offensive to somebody else.
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:That's why we get into, easily, debates
on social media and even other platforms
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:about what's acceptable and what is not.
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:Many corporations even have codes
of conduct in which it talks
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:about the use of language and
how it can be properly utilized.
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:I know that I have thrown around
occasionally a cuss word or two in
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:front of my supervisor, but I know
that I can only do that in private.
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:I've also been able to throw around
a couple other words in front of my
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:clients, but I also got to know them
a little bit better, and also got to
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:feel a little bit more comfortable
about it, but the ultimate question of,
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:do I need to swear to make my point,
will vary from one audience to another.
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:I'm sure that many of us can think of at
least one time that an occasional cuss
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:word slipped out of our mouths, and it
wasn't really intended to the person that
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:we were trying to share it with, meaning,
the thought did enter our minds, but then
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:it escape our minds just as quickly, and
I know that that sometimes happens, but
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:before it escapes your mind, it slips out
of your mouth, and we instantly regret it.
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:I know that we can even attribute to some
historical moments, or swearing in itself,
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:when it was utilized, was probably not
the best way to utilize ourselves and
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:our language repertoire in the manner in
which we are often thinking about as an
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:important way in which we have dialogue.
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:We have discourse in a way in which it
allows us to learn from each other the
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:best ways and the best ideas to resolve
problems, which we've talked about already
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:in some more recent episodes about the
importance of being able to prioritize
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:your ideas and your problems so that you
can make the most impact, but I always
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:attribute the fact that coarse language
comes from an emotional standpoint.
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:The emotion that we feel and that
we convey to others oftentimes
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:creates that impression of ourselves
as the willingness to understand,
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:with one another, why we feel a
certain way about a certain subject.
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:Don't like those mashed
potatoes that your mom gave you?
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:I certainly don't want
to say, "Goddammit, mom.
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:Don't give me that fucking shit.", because
that will come back to me and my mouth
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:being washed out, because let's face
it, we love our moms, adopted or not,
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:to be able to help us to create that
best value that we need in our lives.
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:They are the linchpins, along
with our fathers, of being able
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:to be respectable and proper and
prim in a lot of different ways.
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:Don't like the service that
you get from your server?
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:"You son of a bitch!
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:I can't believe you didn't give me
the potatoes that I wanted to have!"
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:Do you notice that I like
potatoes in this episode?
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:Why would I even say that to my server?
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:It might have not been his fault
that the potatoes weren't served,
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:or maybe they were served and
they were not of the right kind.
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:How could you blame somebody with a cuss
word about your intensity of what you
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:feel about what you are experiencing
because of the mashed potatoes?
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:Don't like your teacher and the amount
of homework that they're giving you?
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:"Goddammit, Mrs.
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:Talker.
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:I can't believe you gave so
much fucking homework to us.
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:We don't have enough time to do every
fucking thing in this whole fucking
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:course, and you're giving us more?
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:Fuck you!", and walk out the door.
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:Do you really think that using
the word fuck over and over again
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:really makes an impression, not just
on your teacher, but even on your
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:classmates, who are probably laughing
because you are going way overboard?
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:Do you get my picture?
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:Do you get what I'm saying?
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:Sometimes using the amount of words,
whether they are really trying to
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:project the intensity of what we
feel, don't always convey into the
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:end result that we're trying to make.
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:I have to tell you, that foul
language might be appropriate in
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:some ways, but not appropriate in
others, especially with the audience
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:that you're trying to engage with.
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:I think that we get so caught up
in the fact that we want to make
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:this impression on somebody else,
or that we want to convey something
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:that was really on our minds.
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:We think that authenticity might also
include being able to swear at the top
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:of our lungs, making sure that somebody
hears us, whether they're far away
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:in the other side of the room itself,
or maybe even two doors down, being
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:our neighbors, but I think that it's
not necessary to do all those things,
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:and create such a negative context
in our discourse, in our discussions.
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:We can do this in a much better way;
a more efficient way, if you will.
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:I think the surprising answer is that
sometimes using that foul language to
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:help accentuate that god damn point
that we're trying to make can also
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:make a big difference, and you notice
what I just did there is use goddamn to
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:emphasize my point about making points.
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:It's all about timing.
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:It's about the way in which we're able
to analyze around us the ability to know
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:when it's okay and when it's not okay.
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:Subconsciously, our brain is processing
millions of bits of information in
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:which then we're able to make a decision
as to best moving forward with that
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:idea or that concept or that solution
that might include a coarse word,
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:or two, or three for that matter.
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:We have to learn to use
it to our advantage.
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:It's not a free ticket for us to just go
ahead and swear at the top of our lungs,
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:thinking that we're going to make such
a big difference in our lives, trying
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:to achieve what we're trying to achieve.
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:Swearing is not always the answer either.
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:Would you want to swear at your 70 or 80
year old mother, because you think that
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:she needs to do something and get off
her butt, when really, she's 70 and 80
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:years old and has lived a full life, and
maybe you're being really hard on her?
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:Does it make much sense to be hard on
that person that is serving you food for a
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:mistake that maybe wasn't even their fault
to begin with, because maybe the ticket
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:that they'd written up actually had the
correct order, and the cook in the kitchen
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:messed it up; but maybe even the teacher
for that matter, giving you that amount
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:of work is really trying to prove an
important point about not only diligence,
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:but also the type of subject that they're
trying to teach on requires that much
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:homework to be given in the first place.
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:Those examples, plus the bullies that
we sometimes meet on social media
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:that want to use that course language,
don't understand the impact of what
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:our words are, and that's really
what the crux is of this whole entire
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:conversation that we're having today.
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:It's about the power of our words, and how
they can instantly hurt, or even destroy
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:for that matter, the relationship's
confidence and determination to keep
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:moving forward; to keep being better
versions of ourselves as a whole.
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:I can't tell you how many times
that my words have destroyed my
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:relationships with other people, and
I am really sorry for those people
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:that had to be the blunt of it.
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:I have had many excuses in the past.
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:"Oh, it's my autism."
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:"Oh, it's the way in which I was
emotionally connected with this
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:because I had so much at stake."
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:"Oh, it's because I don't really
like you, and I wanted to tell you
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:how much I dislike your ideas, even
your presence, in the same room."
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:Words are very powerful.
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:As a matter of fact, as one person
has put it in the past, the pen
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:is mightier than the sword itself.
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:It was one of those various expressions,
even dating back to the Revolutionary
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:War, the founding of the United States,
and being able to find the freedom
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:that we have, we were able to lean on
the words that we were using, not the
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:might of our military that we were
building through the Continental Army.
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:I think that we have to learn that
by balance, we can also convey
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:our purpose of the speech and the
language that we're trying to convey.
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:It doesn't give you a free ticket
to say "fuck you" every single time.
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:It doesn't mean that every situation
is a piece of shit, and it doesn't mean
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:either that you get the free ticket
to use Jesus Christ's name in vain,
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:or JC for short, every single time.
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:I don't know about you, but I think
that language can make a point.
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:We don't have to necessarily use the
swear words to even convey that point,
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:but at the same time, the way that we
say it without swearing can be just
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:as dangerous and destructive, and I've
seen it time and time again, not only in
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:history, not only in the readings that
I have read throughout all time, but
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:also because of the things that I have
even seen in today's society between
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:friends, family, and other coworkers
that can be just as painful and just as
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:dangerous because you're not self-aware,
so now, today is your wake up call.
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:Be more self aware of the language that
you're using, and perhaps the reaction
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:that you'll get will be completely
different than you might have anticipated.
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:There are surprising answers to whether
foul language can make a big difference,
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:and I'm here today to not make a case
either way, but I am here to make a case
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:on is whether you, as an individual,
can make such a bigger difference
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:with using your language in a more
appropriate and more factual, concise way.
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:Making our point is so
important in today's society.
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:It's more than ever, especially because
of the conciseness that we need to
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:have and the attention span that we're
often giving other people to be able
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:to make that conversation happen, to
make sure that discussion takes place
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:during a meeting, to make sure that
personally, we can move forward from
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:the problems, regardless of what they
are, from being able to hold us back.
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:We are soon approaching the 100th episode,
and every time that I keep thinking about
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:the fact that language can make such
a big difference, I go back to where
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:I start with this very conversation.
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:What is on your heart doesn't always mean
that you have to reference foul language.
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:What is on your heart, that very first
episode, talked about what you can do
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:with the unlimited potential that you
have deep inside of you to change the
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:circumstances that surround you, no matter
if it was something that was imposed upon
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:you, or you have the choice to make a
decision in order to move forward from
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:the things that are holding you back.
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:You will always have the choice to make
sure that you are being well heard if
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:you're just understanding what the other
side, or the other perspective is, which
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:is exactly what we've talked about, even
in other episodes, about the importance
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:of having that crucial conversation, but,
whether you want to fuck yourself, go
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:to hell, be a goddamn non believer, or
just shit all over the things that I'm
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:saying today, just know that language
does have a powerful context, and even
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:if you want to fucking write to me at
podcast@yourspeakingvoice.biz, I'll
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:guarantee you that I'll give you a fucking
response because let's fucking face it.
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:We don't always have to say fuck to
make our point, which is why I'm going
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:to say this to end today's episode.
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:I appreciate that you are willing to
even take a listen to something that
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:might be so offensive, but you don't
have to swear to make the point.
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:I'm a friendly person, and as long as
you're friendly to me, and you come up
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:to me wanting to learn and explore new
opportunities, be able to understand the
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:human condition, and let alone accentuate
what you have already, I think that we can
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:have a pretty civil conversation, and we
can check out the course language before
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:we even start having that conversation,
because I know that you are capable of
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:having the English language, or any other
language that you utilize, come to life in
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:more ways than just using foul language.
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:Let's make sure that we can be courteous,
while at the same time, respecting what
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:our opinions are, and you can leave
those words at the door, because I don't
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:need to hear them, and neither do you.
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:Thanks for listening to episode
number 97 of Speaking From the
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:Heart, and I look forward to
hearing from your heart very soon.
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:Outro: Thanks for listening.
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:The Heart to subscribe and be notified
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:services that can help you create
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:See you next time.
